Chapter fourteen! I don't own Shugo Chara!
I had dreams that night...more like memories...my past. All of the unpleasant things and pleasant things in my life before I realized I had cancer. Maybe it was the darkness and the smell of the emergency room that brought back my memories. Or maybe it was the soft, clean bed sheets that helped me relax despite my situation.
The first dream I had was when I had to go meet my dad's mother. In other words: my grandmother. She was a strict person, and when I was young I was...scared of her. She talked to me in this voice that sent shivers down my spine, and she was the only person in the family that made me cry.
I was four years old, and I was sitting on my grandmother's favorite sofa. My mother sat on another sofa...my grandmother's least favorite sofa. My grandmother sat on a chair...just a plain old chair.
"I've heard rumors about myself" said my grandmother, "Bad rumors about my personality and my current position in society. Is this you that spread these rumors again?" My grandmother was looking at my mother like she was about to pierce her with her words.
"No...I never spread any rumors about anyone..." said my mother, her voice was small and she was barely audible.
"Speak louder" said my grandmother, "Don't act like a coward"
"I apologize...but I am sure...I have not spread any rumors about you" said my mother, her voice seemed forced.
"I see..." said my grandmother, not sounding convinced at all.
There was a moment of silence before my grandmother spoke up again.
"So...why haven't you come to visit me with your daughter for such a long time?" asked my grandmother, saying it like it was statement and not a question.
"I apologize..." said my mother.
"Again" I thought.
"You should show more respect towards your elders" said my grandmother, using her usual spooky voice.
It went on and on like this my mother apologizing many times and my grandmother trying to find something to blame on my mother. At last when I couldn't take it anymore, when I thought I should at least say something to defend my mother, my grandmother told us to go.
My grandmother rarely showed emotion...nothing except her stern look that was always on her face. My mother always had a sour temper after a long talk with my grandmother, and I had realized a long time ago that talking to her was not a good idea.
So, I just sealed all of my emotions...anger towards my grandmother, and pity towards my mother.
The scene changed in my head, and I was lying on my parents' bed. I was six years old.
"You promised. You promised to play with me today!" I shouted at my mom, tears spilling down my face.
"I've had a long hard week of work, and you played for the whole week, Amu. I'll play with you next week... I have to see this television program" said my mother, holding the remote control in one hand.
"You're a traitor...a liar!" I said, unable to control my emotions.
"Be quiet, Amu!" said my mother, "You should be more obedient!"
I covered my face with the bed sheets, and silently cried. Crying silently was my best talent...because I was used to it.
The scene shifted again, and now I was sitting next to my grandmother. I was nine years old. I was silent most of the time, and my grandmother was the one asking me a lot of questions.
"How do you do in school these days?" asked my grandmother, drinking tea at the same time.
"Fine" I said, keeping my answer short.
"How do you feel about moving your house?" asked my grandmother.
"Fine" I said again.
"How do you get along with your friends?" asked my grandmother.
"Fine" I said again.
Then my grandmother did something I never saw her do. She smiled at me.
The scene changed once more, and I was participating in my grandmother's funeral. I was eleven years old. My grandmother had died of lung cancer, and she was being buried next to my grandfather. I promised myself not to cry. I shouldn't cry...she was finally gone...
The coffin slowly got lowered down into the hole that was dug by the workers. My mother looked grave, and my father was crying silently. Ami was too young to know what was happening. I...didn't know what to do. I concealed my emotions, and tried to look glad. It didn't work.
As soon as we arrived back home, I climbed the stairs, and jumped on my bed. Tears started to roll down my cheeks...
Grandmother...I'm sorry...
What could I have done differently while she was still alive?
The scene changed for the last time. I was thirteen.
I was coughing in my room, and I was holding onto my chest at the same time. I was feeling pain, but I couldn't understand why. I decided to try drinking some water. I stood up, and walked out of my room. I felt dizzy, and weak. I managed to arrive at the kitchen, and pour myself a glass of water. It happened when I was about to drink the water.
My hand slipped, and the glass of water crashed on the ground. I soon collapsed on the floor too. The last thing I heard was my mother shouting, "Amu!"
I opened my eyes slowly. Where was I? I looked around the room and realized I was still in the emergency room. There were a lot of beds around me, and all of the people had their eyes closed. Some of them looked as if they were already dead.
I suddenly remembered my dream. Why had I dreamed about such things? Those were my most painful memories, yet they gave me a mysterious feeling as if I had learned something throughout each of those experiences.
My chest no longer pained me, and there were no nurses or doctors around.
I slowly got out of my bed, and decided to go to that place once more...before everyone came back again.
Chapter fourteen completed. Sorry I updated so late, but my computer was broken (thanks to my dad) and I had to ask my mom if I could borrow hers. Anyway, I won't be able to update for a long time now...school started. Maybe I can update in a week or two? I promise I'll try to update as fast as I can. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter.