Thank you so much for the reviews, favs and follows. Your support really means the world to me and let's be honest, what's the point of writing when you know that nobody really cares?

Again, just a reminder that the original idea for this story came from the lovely Jimenush, I'm only playing with it ;)

I hope you enjoy. If not, have a look at the note at the end of the chapter.

'Tony, what are you doing?' Pepper asked cheerfully, as she found Tony building a tower out of his t-shirts inside the black, leather suitcase, laying on the bed.

'Um…packing,' he replied wearily, knowing that Pepper must have realised how distant he had become since they decided to go to China to see Dr. Wu a few days back. 'You know, it's just…personal hygiene and all that.' He knew without question how ridiculous this must have sounded, but maybe joking around would allow him to avoid Pepper's worried looks and the unending questions?

'Ok, because you clearly need that t-shirt from a science fair at MIT in '84! And this one,' she picked up a wrinkled greasy tank top from the baggage, 'is a synonym of hygiene isn't it? What was it even doing in the drawer?'

By now it became clear that lying to Pepper was not an option. She was the only person who was capable of seeing the little gestures he made, indicating how stressed he was. Even though she didn't admit it, she probably knew that he woke up every night, clutching the reactor and having difficulties breathing, having dreamt about the feeling of Yinsen's goddamn hands inside his chest.

'Come on, it's a nice shirt and I won the fair!' the only reply he got was a CEO-style glare. 'Alright, so maybe I got a little distracted. I'll put them back into the drawer, see?' he emptied the suitcase entirely, dumping all its contents back inside the wardrobe in an unordered heap. Someone would have to be paid extra for all the ironing, Pepper mused to herself. 'Problem solved.'

Pepper approached him from behind, caressing his waist with her delicate fingers and leaning her head on his evidently tense shoulder.

'How many times do I need to tell you that you don't have to do anything because of me?' she whispered, hoping to put him at ease, but the sound of her voice right in his ear only made him jump, as it had for the last week or so.

'I know…um, thanks I guess. I should really carry on packing. I don't want to be late for the plane.'

Pepper wanted to hold Tony closer and communicate her support through the embrace, but her arms fell uselessly against her sides, eliciting an unintelligible grunt of protest from Tony. He didn't want to be late for the plane? Pepper really feared that the device implanted in his chest was malfunctioning, because why else would Tony suddenly become punctual? Once she regained her composure, Pepper caught Tony's hand in hers and led him to sit on the bed, making herself comfortable on his lap.

'No rush. Remember that. You really don't have to do anything.' He nodded without much enthusiasm, and to Pepper's great astonishment, moved away when she tried to give him a comforting kiss.

He couldn't help himself, but for the last few days everything reminded him of Afghanistan and the damn cave, without proper medical equipment and qualified doctors and anaesthetics and it just wasn't fair. Neither was Obie, when he spontaneously decided to take out the arc reactor, knowing what the consequences would be. Suddenly, Pepper's weight on his knees felt almost crushing, like the cold, hard ground of the Afghan cave. Every cell in his brain was telling him that he would regret pushing her away, but fear is a human instinct, and even the great Iron Man could not confront it, in the face of his greatest demons. He was silently hoping that she wouldn't leave, that she would try to be there for him, no matter what he did or how much he denied that he needed help.

Instead she just left him staring at the spot where she was only seconds ago, still hearing the sound of her footsteps downstairs. That wasn't a good start. After all, the whole point of this was that he was doing it for her, to make her happy. And now she was forced to run away and leave him on his own with his grim thoughts again.

XXXXXXX

Even as he laid down on the crude table, he could still remember the sight of the Humvee blowing up, he could hear the screams of the soldiers and see their faces, full of surprise and terror. Eventually his own screams blocked it out, but he knew that memories would remain.

Oh God, what were they doing? Why did they cut him open like this? He didn't do anything! And he even asked them to stop! This was so unfair, so painful, so terrifying. Tony Stark was famed for being a man who loved himself, probably a bit too much, but then and there he really wished that he had never been born. He didn't know whether it was the agony of being cut by dozens of pieces of shrapnel or the fear of what those people would do to him, that scared him more.

Somebody suddenly spoke English. That voice was different than all the other ones, that just kept screaming at him in a foreign language and sounded very threating. The voice was telling him to calm down, that it would soon be over, and had a surprisingly relaxing effect on Tony. Then he realised that he knew who was talking – it was Yinsen, the scientist from Gulmira who saved his life and became his friend over those three month in the Afghan cave. Suddenly there was another blast, this one much louder and blinding and without opening his eyes, Tony Stark knew that his only companion was gone.

'Yinseeen!' he screamed in sheer panic and grief, unable to accept the fact that the only man he trusted back then had left him at the mercy of terrorists, who had almost killed him and tortured him.

Tony jerked awake with a start in the comfortable leather seat. It took him a moment to realise that he was on his private jet, in the company of Pepper and Rhodey, probably somewhere over the Pacific. They were both staring at him, and no words were needed to communicate how worried they were. The genius quickly replayed the dream in his head, and realised that he must have called for Yinsen out loud. He was thankful when neither of his friends asked questions; they knew him well enough to realise that it would only add to his unease.

Still, Pepper was by his side immediately, having poured him a glass of his favourite juice and set it on the table next to his seat. He didn't know whether to ignore her or not. Her heart was breaking at the thought, but they haven't spoken since the time Pepper found him packing, and left their bedroom having been outwardly rejected by him.

'I'm sorry Peps, like…really sorry,' he was trying to be quiet, and avoid a reprimand from Rhodey later. The colonel had already told him off on a number of occasions, because he hadn't been acting in the most gentlemanly manner towards Pepper.

Apparently she appreciated the sentiment, because she rewarded his apology with a warm smile and a comforting rub on his tense shoulder. Tony breathed a sigh of relief, happy to know that he and Pepper were okay, and that Afghanistan was now only a bad memory. As Pepper was about to go back to her seat, Tony grabbed her hand and pulled her down to sit on his lap. He knew that they would be landing soon and he felt that the moment the plane touched down, there would be no turning back, that he would have to face a new reality, made up of nurses, scalpels and sterile, impersonal rooms. He needed something to hold on to and Pepper didn't seem to mind, so why not? She enjoyed the physical contact as well, resting her head in between his shoulder and neck and feeling his steady heartbeat against her cheek.

'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot. Please, come back to your seats and fasten the seatbelts in preparation for touch-down. We should be landing in approximately 10 minutes.'

Pepper could swear that Tony just stopped breathing for a moment, and then his heartbeat erupted, like one of his science experiments. Pepper was worried for a moment, fearing as always that the change of cabin pressure might have done something to the reactor. One look at his face told her she was wrong: it was evident that Tony was simply terrified. Not because of what had just happened to his heart, but about the things that would happen all too soon. A reassuring kiss on Tony's cheek was Pepper's last effort to comfort him, but even as she buckled up in her own seat, their eyes were locked on each other, to the annoyance of the not-so-romantic Colonel Rhodes.

I really hope I didn't disappoint. I wrote two versions of this chapter, the other one taking place when they're already in China, so if you think that would be better, I'm more than happy to change it. I aim to please, as Tony once said ;)

REVIEW if you want more and let me know if you'd rather have the other version of this chapter, because I think I might have messed up the pacing of the story with that.