"…Nothing" Diego shook his head in denial as he pocketed his phone with an irritated huff. He'd tried several times, but Theodore just wasn't picking up; he knew the boy couldn't have gone far and that he was likely just being stubborn, but he was still worried. "Went straight to voicemail"
"Just leave him, he'll be fine. But we have bigger things to worry about, right now" Five shook his head, fingers poised in a steeple that was pressed to his lips.
"I thought you said he was an important part of the apocalyptic equation? I thought you said that he had to keep him sedated and locked up?" Diego bristled, throwing his brother's words back in his face.
"Well, that's clearly over now and the rest is yet to come; so if you could pull your head outta your ass—"
"—Hey, y'know guys, maybe…maybe I could help?" Klaus suddenly piped up, turning both the conversation and all heads towards him.
"Now, is not the time for one of your little stories, Klaus" Luther sighed dismissively, brushing off his brother before he could even get another word out. In his eyes, all that Number Four was good for was gathering intelligence (if you could call it that) and standing guard.
"No, let him finish!" Diego sniped, coming to his brother's defence as Klaus gingerly rose from his seat and trotted over to the rack of untouched bowling balls that divided the lanes. "He saved my life today"
"Is…is that true?" Luther asked, almost offensively incredulous. (Klaus thought that Luther deserved the reprimanding whack on the arm, courtesy of Allison. It certainly made him feel better).
"Yeah, yeah, I did…" Klaus sheepishly nodded, folding beneath Ben's unimpressed stare. "…Take credit for it. But in fact, the real hero today was…Ben and—"
"—Oh here we go!" Diego murmured under his breath as he crossed his arms, already regretting that he decided to back up his younger brother.
"Today…listen!" Klaus steamrolled on, ignoring everyone's blatant rolling of the eyes and snorts of disbelief. "Today, he punched me in the face—"
"—I wanna punch y'all in the face—" Five grumbled to himself as his brother rambled on.
"—And—and oh! Earlier, at the house, he was the one who saved Diego's life!" Klaus rambled,"Not me"
"…You are unbelievable, Klaus!" Diego exasperatedly threw his one good hand up in the air whilst Luther levelled his necromancing brother with an unimpressed stare (one, mind you, that Five seemed to be unintentionally mirroring like a pair of creepy twins in a horror movie).
"You want proof, is that it? All right, fine! I'll give you proof!" Klaus muttered irritably to himself as his fingers danced across the balls until he came to one that was hot pink and emblazoned with the number eight. Plucking it from the rack, Klaus spun the weighted ball around several times in his hands as he turned to face his ghoulish brother. All it took as a few practised throws, a few startled looks from his siblings when they realised what he was about to do and then Klaus lobbed the bowling ball across the room at Ben. "All right! It's showtime, baby! Catch!"
THUD! THUNK!
Time seemed to slow as the bowling ball ever so elegantly flew through the air, crossing the three feet to Ben's awaiting arms, only to fall short and thud inelegantly to the floor with an almighty uproar that thundered in the sparsely-populated bowling alley. Instead of landing safely in Ben's outstretched arms as the necromancer & ghost had intended, the ball simply sailed straight through the spirit just as objects had always done. The thundering noise that followed pulled all gazes their way (including that of the irate & suspicious manager who watched them like a hawk as he furiously rubbed down the same spot on the counter), made the patrons jump at the sudden noise and Ben looked more disappointed than Klaus had ever seen him. Allison, in turn, grunted in surprise as Five flinched back into her legs that hung behind him on his chair, almost melding himself to his sister as the heavy ball approached his head. And there was a fear in his eyes that pulled at Klaus heartstrings, making him sheepishly backtrack into the more subdued role that he had taken to playing as a member of the heroic Umbrella Academy.
"Is there any way to silence that voice in your head that screams out to be the center of attention, every time?" Luther sneered at his brother, disdain clearly evident in his tone.
"Y'know, I liked you a lot better before you got laid!" Klaus snapped.
("Klaus…!" Ben sighed in dismay, raking an exasperated hand through his locks as each of his siblings' faces morph into something else. Both Diego & Five bore varying looks of 'Huh' and 'Finally!' Whilst Allison, on the other hand, looked like she had just swallowed a lemon).
"Which was a complete…It—it wasn't his fault 'cause he was ridiculously high, right?"Klaus quickly tried to (unsuccessfully) backpedal as Luther burnt crimson and shifted nervously on his feet, "And—and the girl…she thought he was a furry—!"
"—Stop!" Luther demanded, absolutely red in the face and about two seconds away from stomping his feet like a child.
"Okay…" Klaus acquiesced demurely, sinking back into his seat like someone had let the air out of a balloon.
("Well, that went well" Ben huffed, crossing his arms and he perched himself on the edge of the closest table. "Wonder why it didn't work again?")
"I'unno" Klaus grunted, gifting his brother with a halfhearted shrug as Allison slipped from her perch and stomped off without another word, not quite able to keep the tears from springing to life as betrayal made her tongue taste bitter.
"Allison, wait—!" Luther called out as he tried to prevent another one of them from leaving; only this time, he followed her out into the parking lot.
("…Well, there's an image I can never get out of my head!" Ben muttered to himself as a sheepish Klaus & a tired Diego slumped down in their seats, leaving Five to pace like a caged animal).
The remaining Hargreeves siblings had barely been granted a moment's respite when a new voice approached them; one that belonged to the rather jovial and rotund mother who had been chaperoning the children's party a couple of lanes over. "Excuse me! Excuse me!" She interrupted, pulling her uncomfortably shy-looking boy—bearing a big blue ribbon on his shirt that had adorned one of the presents only moments ago—as he clutched tightly to a bright green bowling ball in his hands. "It's my son's—Kenny's birthday, today—and uh, wouldn't your son be happier playing with kids his own age? Assuming it's okay with your two dads"
Awkward silence reigned for a moment as everyone present tried to process what had just happened. Klaus shared a disbelieving glance with Diego, Five appeared the most offended at being mistaken for an actual child and Ben just tried his best (and failed) to smuggle the cheshire grin on his face; having to hide it behind his hand as he bit on his lower lip to keep from cackling. It wasn't working.
"…I would rather chew off my own foot!" Five sneered, making Kenny's mother rear back upright before retreating to the safety of her own lane with a barely disguised look of aghast engraved on her features. But the kid—Kenny—hadn't moved a step to follow after his mother, in fact, his bespectacled gaze seemed to lock on Klaus, of all people, with a sort of puzzling curiosity like he was trying to figure out just who he was and where he knew him from.
"…What?" Five snapped as Klaus shifted nervously beneath the boy's unblinking stare.
"You're Theodore's uncle, right?" Kenny nodded to Klaus.
"Huh?" Klaus blinked, caught slightly off guard by the odd-yet-normal question.
"Theodore Hargreeves?"
"Yeah…?"
"Wait—!" Diego interjected, "How do you know him?"
"We're in the same grade" Kenny shrugged as he tried to keep a hold of the bowling ball in his hands. "Is he okay? He's not really as dangerous as everyone is saying, right? Like, he didn't really blow up school, right?"
"Uh…yeah—no, no—he's fine, everything's fine, we're all fine…" Klaus stammered in reply.
("Subtle" Ben sassed, earning himself a feline-like hiss in return).
"Ok~ay…" Kenny hedged, clearly not quite believing him.
"…KENNY~!" Came the call from the other lane. "IT'S YOUR TURN!"
"COMING!" Kenny replied in kind, making the Hargreeves wince at the sudden uptick in volume. "Uh, bye"
"Bye…" Klaus waved his 'Goodbye' tattooed hand in farewell, as the bespectacled boy fled back to his friends. "Well, that was weird"
("About as weird as assuming that you two were dating" Ben scrunched his nose up in disgust, not too keen on the whole incestual thing).
"…If I was going to date a man" Diego hummed, seemingly thinking along the same lines as his dead brother. "You would be the last man that I would date"
"Please!" Klaus scoffed. "You'd be lucky to get a guy like me!"
"What the hell are you smirking at, you little shit?" Diego tossed towards Five.
"Nothing" Five grinned wickedly at the domestically humourous scene, before something in the next lane over sparked his attention.
"You're damn right, it's nothing!" Diego vigorously nodded in agreement.
"As if I'd stoop so low as to date my brother!" Klaus scoffed, head in hand.
"…We never speak of this again, agreed?" Diego offered.
"Agreed" Klaus nodded, "Besides, the whole falling-in-love-with-your-sibling is kinda Luther's deal, anyways"
"Klaus!"
Time passed and before they knew it, the time for their mission to begin had approached. But even then, it wasn't without its hiccups. "All right, where's Five?" Luther demanded in greeting as he returned to the group with Allison in tow, only to find that there were less people gathered there than before. "Or Theodore, for that matter?"
("How should we know?" Ben muttered sarcastically as he swung his feet back and forth from where he sat on high. "They're your family; put a bell on 'em or something").
"They left" Explained Klaus as he tried to ignore his brother's sass, but the corners of his lips still twitched upwards into a mischievous smirk anyway.
"Oh, for the love of—!" Luther scowled, "And neither of them came back? Jesus! You were supposed to keep an eye on them!"
"Then why didn't you, oh fearless leader?" Diego sneered, both of his hands clenched cocked hips (a feat that had been possible thanks to the fact that he had tossed the sling into the trash some time earlier. His shoulder may have of still been a little tender, but the sling was only going to be a hinderance in the upcoming battle and he had suffered through worse before).
"All right, that's enough, you two—!" Klaus sighed despondently, hoping to cut off any further arguments before they had already begun.
"—Where did Five go?" Luther pursued.
"Didn't tell us" Diego huffed.
"Well, we're not waiting around for them; Vanya's concert starts in thirty minutes"
"All right, so what's the plan?"
"Well…I…think that, uh…we—we should go to…the Icarus Theatre" Luther stumbled over his own words as he tried to make up something on the spot.
"That's a location, Luther, not a plan" Diego, however, quickly called him out on his bullshit. "What? Is that all you've got? Look, you wanna be Number One, fine, but that means you're gonna have to get us all on the same page because right now we're all over the place"
"You're right" Luther nodded absently, "We need a plan"
("Oh my God! The world is ending! Klaus! Call the papers!" Ben gasped dramatically, Luther just agreed with Diego!")
"Snrt!" Klaus unabashedly snorted.
RATTA~TATTA~TAT! RATTA~TATTA~TAT! RATTA~TATTA~TAT!
Klaus' glee disappeared in an instance as he froze in place at the sound of the gunfire echoing about the bowling alley. His eyes had blown impossibly wide and his coiled tight like a wound spring as the familiar sounds of rapid fire filled the room and he found himself transported to the blood-soaked plains of Vietnam. Gone were the lanes of ten pin bowls, gone were the mysteriously-sticky seats and the cake-smeared kids. Instead replaced by dimly-lit trees, speckles of flying blood, warm bodies pressed up on either side and Dave—sweet, precious Dave—pressed against the curve of his body as he bled out.
RATTA~TATTA~TAT! RATTA~TATTA~TAT! RATTA~TATTA~TAT!
("Not now!" Ben whined as he watched his brother freeze. "Klaus!")
"GET DOWN!" Luther ordered as the gunfire lit up the bowling alley. The birthday party off to the side and the employees over by the counter easily escaped into the street with heads ducked low to the ground. It was clear to anyone with a brain that the faceless gunmen—the LANE Keepers—had no interest in them, only in the Hargreeves and the 'fugitives' that they hid. Acting mostly on instinct alone (save for Klaus who stood stock-still, seemingly stuck in a nightmare with is eyes glazed over with unshed tears), the remaining Hargreeves siblings all ducked down behind the nearest obstacle, where they took cover from the rain of endless bullets. "KLAUS!"
"What—?" Klaus furrowed his brow in confusion as he blinked back into reality, where he found himself back in the Superstar Bowling Alley instead of bloody Vietnam on that damned day.
("KLAUS! GET DOWN!" Ben reiterated, wanting nothing more than to body slam his brother down behind one of the booths where he would be relatively safe).
"Oh, schiesse!" Klaus half-dropped and was half-yanked to the floor by Allison as a bullet narrowly missed his crown. Tucked behind the long legs of the booth, Klaus tried to curl up as small as he could to avoid getting hit and next to him Allison had wedged herself into the small cranny left between the legs. It wasn't much, but it would do for now.
"WHO THE HELL ARE THESE GUYS?!" Luther demanded as he tried to squish himself behind the small rack in next to Diego.
"MAYBE THEY'RE HERE FOR KENNY'S BIRTHDAY?" Klaus suggested as he slapped his hands over his ears and clamped them down hard in a poor attempt to keep his hearing.
"NO, I'M PRETTY SURE THEY'RE HERE FOR US!" Luther replied as he quickly pulled his head in so as to avoid getting his brains blown out; instead the bowling balls where his head had been, shattered.
"WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE DAMN KEEPERS?!" Diego huffed as he jumped to his feet with determination burning in his eyes and palmed a dagger towards one of the gunmen, who then stumbled over his own feet and collapsed against the stereo sat on the counter behind him. As the jaunty tune of Bay City Rollers' 'Saturday Night' blared throughout the speakers around the alley sprung to life as they took the chance to fight back.
"S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!"
Cautiously peering around the edge of the booth, Klaus felt his insides go cold when he caught sight of the faceless blue men armed to the teeth and firing ruthlessly upon them. How they were almost clones of the ones that had invaded their home only hours before and how they had been the ones to torture not only Theodore, but Pogo as well. "Schiesse!Schiesse!Schiesse!Schiesse!Schiesse!Schiesse!Schiesse!Schiesse!Schiesse—!" He mumbled as he quickly pulled his head back in until he was practically sitting on top of Allison when the gunfire was directed towards the outwards jutting limb.
("DO SOMETHING!" Ben screeched, feeling useless that he was unable to help).
"I'M THINKING!" Klaus replied, ignoring the strange looks with ease.
("HURRY!")
"Gonna keep on dancin'
To the rock 'n roll
On Saturday night, Saturday Night
Dancin' to the rhythm
In our heart and soul
On Saturday Night, Saturday Night"
Following Diego's lead, Luther popped out from behind the rack and lobbed bowling ball after bowling ball at the LANE Keepers like he was just tossing rubber balls at them. Meanwhile, Klaus had snatched up the abandoned birthday cake—and after taking a rather hefty bite out of the corner which had smeared frosting all over his face—he palmed the confectionary and let it fly. It didn't do much aside from blinding the Keeper, but it was enough for Diego to pierce his suit with another knife. And still the bullets rained down.
"I—I—I—I just can't wait!
I—I—I—I gotta date!
At the gold ole rock 'n roll
Folks show, I've gotta go!
Saturday Night!
Saturday Night!"
("They were scouts!" Ben panicked as his thoughts furiously backflipped, "The ones at the academy were scouts! Oh God!")
GRRRR!
"Oh please don't be what I think that is!" Diego groaned as an animalistic growl rippled through the bowling alley. He had seen a lot of horrific things during the alien invasion eight years ago, but up there at the top had to be the terrifying monstrosity that was pikens. Mogadorian in nature, these large horned & leathery-skinned beasts were the stuff of nightmares with their beady golden eyes, raptor claws and muscular putrid-coloured skin; all of which stood at a height of at least 30 feet. It was safe to say he hadn't slept much in the weeks following that event, nor did he particularly want to face one now.
'WHAT WAS THAT?!' Allison furiously tapped her pad, getting Diego's attention to answer the question that was apparently burning on the back of their tongues.
"Uh…" Diego squirmed as he procrastinated by striking down another Keeper. "Y'know how I said I, uh, didn't know what happened during the invasion? That I hadn't taken part because I hadn't even been in the city?"
"…" Allison wordlessly nodded, recalling the infamous incident with an almost trepidatious hesitancy as she began to connect the dots and she didn't like where they were going.
"Yeah, I lied"
"THEY'RE BLOCKING THE EXIT!" Klaus reported before Allison could reply and turning them back towards more pressing matters (no matter how entertaining it would be to see their sister wail on their stab-happy brother).
"Gonna rock it up!
Roll it up,
Do it all, have a ball!
Saturday Night!
Saturday Night!"
"SO, WHAT'S THE PLAN NOW, LUTHER?" Diego called as the LANE Keepers neared their hiding positions. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that they wouldn't hold out for that much longer anyway.
Sparing another glance over at the approaching Keepers, Klaus quickly made up his mind. Number Four had never been much of a fighter; not in the same way that his brothers had been, He had always been the lookout & infiltrator, the gossiper & the rule breaker but he never really been the frontline fighter (not even after his stint in Vietnam). So, when he spotted the open lanes at the end of the alley, a brilliantly mad idea sprung to mind and like most of his ideas, he did not think it through before he began.
"S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!"
"C'ME ON! THIS WAY!" Klaus squawked at his sister, slapping her once on the arm to get her attention before he surged to his feet and booked it down the lanes with his dogtags thumping rhythmically against his chest with each stride. Klaus was intent on making it out in more or less one piece, and hopefully before he was subjected to the same kind of treatments that he had witnessed in the academy only hours before.
"KLAUS!" His siblings' chorused exclaimations easily overlapped each other as he fled under the maelstrom of bullets. "HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"
"THE LANES! AFTER HIM! LET'S GO!"
"AFTER HIM! GO! GO! GO!"
"DON'T STOP! KEEP GOING! GO! GO! GO!"
"S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!"