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'Mr Stark?' Dr Wu received no reply. 'Mr Stark, are you with us?' Still nothing.
Tony raised his head only when he was pinched on the arm by Pepper. She looked concerned, as she has for the last week or so, but he could also spot the usual annoyance that she displayed during meetings, when he refused to pay attention.
'Yeah, great idea! Absolutely!' he mumbled, without even knowing what question he had been asked. The doctor shook his head, realising that he simply had to ignore his client's erratic behaviour and carry on with his work.
'I was just saying that we will have a bit of a problem with the reactor housing. The ribs seem to have healed all around it, so it will take a bit of work. And a fair amount of time to heal. Removing that shrapnel itself shouldn't be a problem, especially with the equipment that we have here. I just need you to know that this is not an easy procedure before we make this final step.' The man's voice was serious and solemn, and Tony didn't want to admit it, but he could swear that he could detect an ounce of pity in there.
'Dr Wu, I think we've already gone far enough. I'm perfectly aware that it's not going to be easy but,' Tony needed to look at Pepper to remind himself why he wanted to free himself from the arc reactor in the first place. '…but it's going to be worth it. A hundred per cent worth all of it.' He looked Pepper in the eyes, now addressing her more than the doctor. She squeezed his hand in reassurance, and her eyes never left his chocolate coloured ones.
'Doctor,' Pepper spoke for the first time since the meeting started. 'Are you sure that it's safe since…you just said that it's not the easiest of things and I just…well, none of us want anything to happen to Tony, do we?' This time it was Tony who had to provide comfort, by putting on a brave face and trying to shrug it off, as if it was a vaccination or a routine health check, rather than a life changing surgery.
'Come on Pep, Yinsen pulled it off in the middle of the desert in God-knows-where, without any proper medical equipment and here we are now, with the best cardiologist on the planet in one of the most technically advanced clinics out there. I think I will live.' Even though he did manage to pull off a confident tone, his heart was racing as soon as his mind floated back to Afghanistan. Dr Wu just smiled at him, indicating that he appreciated Tony's comment.
'Think about it for another moment, the two of you, and if you're sure that you want to do it, you can find me in my office. I'll leave the papers on the table, so that you can flick through them before you sign,' the surgeon said before raising from his chair. On the way out, he rubbed Pepper's shoulder comfortingly. She was sure he had to do that many times before, in attempt to calm down the terrified families of his other patients. They were both grateful that they were given some time to think it over before finalising the deal. Tony still felt uncertain, Pepper felt more guilty than ever, and the folder laying on the black mahogany table in front of them seemed to be teasing both of them, only aggravating the tension in the room.
Tony pulled it close. He had already made the decision, for Pepper. Even if he has to go through the hell he did in Afghanistan, it was all worth it. He opened the file and looked at the very first page.
Pepper shifted closer to him, so that she could look at the document as well. 'What is it?' she asked, even though she had a feeling she knew already.
'I have to sign it to confirm, that should…ekhem, should anything go wrong we will not put forward charges against Dr Wu, nor the clinic.' Tony's voice was steady, but Pepper was looking at him open-mouthed.
'So you're basically leaving him with the right to do anything he wants to you? And why even…? I thought people didn't usually sign that kind of papers! It's his goddamn responsibility to make sure you're ok,' Pepper raised her voice and Tony knew that things were getting serious, the moment he heard the word 'goddamn'. He hated himself. Hated himself for being unable to satisfy Pepper anyhow: reactor in – problem, reactor out –tears of worry and uncertainty.
'Pepper, I'll be fine. It's not a big deal!' he tried to reassure her, pulling her close to his warm body and allowing her to grasp the front of the jumper he was wearing with her petite shaking hands.
'Not a big deal…not a big deal…' she grumbled in reply, burying her face in his chest and enjoying the gentle caresses of his hands on her body. No matter what the situation, he always managed to relax her somehow. 'Promise me that you'll be fine. Promise,' she asked quietly.
'I, Anthony Edward Stark, solely promise, that no matter what happens, I will always be here, for my lovely Virginia Pepper Potts, and that no armies, villains and especially not doctors will ever stand between us. Happy?' he smirked at her, as she saw a gentle, shy smile appear on her face. He took her hand in his and entwined their little fingers together, looking her in the eyes. 'That's how they do it in Asia, isn't it?' he asked, hoping that the childish gesture would put them both more at ease. 'I asked: are you happy now?' She nodded and before she got a chance to reply properly, her mouth was too busy enjoying the taste of Tony's.
XXXXXXX
There were not many things that could scare Tony Stark, but hospitals were definitely on top of the short list. For some unknown reason, the impersonality of the sterile rooms and blue gowns made his heart skip a bit, as if it didn't have enough problems already. The constant beeping of all sorts of machinery all around the place reminded him that the line of his own life, or Pepper's or Happy's for that matter, could turn flat in a short instant and there was nothing he could do to prevent this.
However, he discovered true panic when Dr Wu led him into the room which would be his workplace the following day. Tony had already handed in the necessary paperwork, managed to calm Pepper down and avoid a panic attack himself, but it didn't make things any easier. He was supposed to check up on the electromagnet hung low over the operating table, that would make it possible for the device in his chest to lose power without killing him. Tony climbed onto a small ladder and examined the machinery carefully. Everything seemed to be working fine, but he still needed to check it a million times over. He liked life, now that it was finally started to look relatively normal, and he also knew that Pepper and Rhodey would be standing behind the glass window during the surgery; he wanted to spare them the horror of having to watch him get cut to pieces by the remaining shrapnel if the magnet malfunctioned.
He tried to keep calm and appear relaxed in front of Dr Wu, but this man was a genius cardiologist, and could probably deduce that a person's heart was racing just by glancing at them. Tony was grateful for the fact that he didn't try to appear comforting or talk him out of this. The man knew well enough that Tony regarded words as nothing more meaningful than just the sounds they were made up of, so comforting would only annoy him more.
The men shook their hands and finally parted for the evening. A car was already in front of the hospital to pick Tony up. He hated the idea that this would be the last night in a while that he would be able to spend with Pepper cuddled against his side. No matter what monsters tortured him in his dreams, she was always there to save him, and now when he would need her most, this sense of security would be denied.
'Hey!' he said nonchalantly as he entered their hotel room a couple of minutes later. Pepper was sprawled on the bed, flicking through a magazine without really paying attention to what the various articles were about. 'Come on Pep, you don't want to tell me that you're still reading this boring crap,' Tony joked, as he picked up the latest issue of the Harvard Business Review and threw it under the bed.
'It's not that boring. Besides, I need to keep myself occupied, unless you want me go completely crazy. Fancy watching a movie tonight?' she tenderly wrapped her arms around his waist, and gently pulled him down, so that he was laying right next to her on the bed.
'Clearly it is boring. And a movie would be great, I might even let you pick,' Tony said in a tone which was clearly too cheerful for the occasion. They were both scared of what tomorrow would bring, and Tony's pitiful attempts at masking it only made the situation worse. Without waiting for any further comments, that would freak them out even more, Pepper dived under the bed to retrieve her laptop and search through their movie library. Minutes later they were cuddled up against each other, leaning against the headboard, watching the opening credits of Wall-E roll on the screen. Yes, they could get the image projected on the huge wall, so that they would get an experience close to that in cinema. Yes, they could rent out an entire theatre to spend a romantic evening there. They could be driven there by a fancy car, wearing fancy outfits and talking to fancy people. But tomorrow Tony would get cut open to have a glowing, self-powering energy source removed from his chest, after it had been put there when he was almost killed by terrorists, after he stopped SHIELD from wiping Manhattan off the surface of the Earth and after he fought an army of Extremis-powered super soldiers. If they were ever to get a taste of normality in their lives, it was tonight.
Pepper didn't even realise when Tony fell asleep. However, it was difficult not to notice the strangled noise he made when she moved to put the computer away when the film finished. His hand travelled down to grip his t-shirt where it was covering the arc reactor, and he suddenly moved away from her, towards the edge of the bed. He lashed out with his free hand, almost knocking down a lamp that had the misfortune of standing on Tony Stark's bedside table. Pepper saw what was coming, she reached out towards Tony to scoop him up into her arms and calm him down, but he made one move too much and landed on the floor with a loud thud, accompanied by a terrified cry.
She was by his side in a matter of seconds, cupping his tear-stricken face in her hands and drawing his rigid body close to her. He tried to calm down, he really did, but he couldn't shake off the feeling that he was being held down against his will, that he was covered in his own blood and surrounded by people who wanted to hurt him, that somebody pushed something into his chest and that it hurt, and that they would never even listen to his pleas for mercy.
Pepper rubbed circles into his back and kept whispering his name into his ear, to give him a sense of security that he obviously lacked at the moment. When he realised that the person holding him down wasn't Abu, but Pepper, he tried to pull away even harder to avoid the humiliation. He used the sleeve of his sweat soaked shirt to wipe the tears off his face and did his best to suppress the choked sobs that wouldn't stop coming from his mouth. He knew that Pepper wouldn't judge him, but those nightmares were becoming way too frequent, and he had hoped that by the time the Mandarin was gone, they would subside.
'It's all right, I know it's difficult. I hate it too. But you will be fine, you always are. Me and Rhodey will be there, you won't feel a thing and then you won't have to worry about it poisoning you again or…whatever else this box of tricks does,' she whispered, without ceasing to offer comforting gestures.
Tony was exhausted after a day full of thinking and preparations and an episode of this sort was the last thing he needed. He should be well-rested and relaxed tomorrow, not half-asleep and panicked. This was just another thing to add to the list of things that could cause problems and get him killed, he though sceptically.
They remained on the floor, Pepper's grip on him even firmer and he let his head fall onto her shoulder, wetting it slightly with the few tears of fear that still made a point of rolling down his cheeks. He wished she could hold him like this forever, or at least until it was all over.
'It'll be fine Tony. You helped Dr Wu engineer this whole thing, it's got to be good then, right?' that last comment managed to bring a half-smile to his lips.
'Well…' he started off, calculating the odds in his head again. 'I suppose, and…I'm sorry. I shouldn't make such a big deal out of it. Really. Yeah, let's go to bed,' he said firmly having cleared his throat. He gently pried Pepper's arms away from him, and holding her hand led her back to bed.
'You don't have to apologise, don't be silly. I hate it too you know…but…we've got through so many board meetings together, we should be fine with this, shouldn't we?' She smiled herself, noticing that the features on Tony's face relaxed somehow. She would usually snuggle into his side and let him wrap his strong arms around her, but not tonight. At first Tony complained, or Tony's manly pride complained to be more precise, but after what seemed like an eternity of convincing, he made himself comfortable in Pepper's embrace, letting her run her fingers through his ruffled hair. He tried not to appear too comfortable in this position, knowing that she wouldn't let him forget it once he got better, but Pepper was simply irresistible and Tony finally drifted off with a content moan on his lips.
Pepper knew she wouldn't be able to get more sleep tonight, and her heart broke at the thought of having to wake Tony up in the morning and hence making him face his great nemesis.
Honestly, could I not have come up with a more touché ending for this chapter? Sorry.
Anyway, I really hope that I didn't mess this up too badly, because your response to this story has been really great and I do my best not to disappoint you. If I did, let me know what you didn't like and I'll turn into a mechanic and fix all the crappy stuff ;)
Speaking of crappy stuff, I've been thinking about writing the next chapter, and I'm not sure how to approach the whole 'let's just take the arc out' thing. In the film it didn't seem like they used Extremis, but then how did they manage to patch Tony up? And how would they even take it out, if it must have now properly grown to be a part of his body ( I mean hey, surely his ribs and muscles would have grown back around the arc and they would have to mess him up all over again pretty badly to remove it, wouldn't they?) If there are any medics out there who can make sense of this, I would really appreciate a PM or a review with a word or two of advice. I want to make it as realistic as possible, so help would be appreciated. Unless all of you are comfortable with the traditional cliché of 'and then he knew no more' and the next thing you know is that we wakes up, still in one piece. Sorry about the rant, but I really aim to please the audience and don't want to disappoint!
Please let me know what you think about this chapter and if you have suggestions for the next one.
REVIEWS are more than appreciated, they motivate me, make my day brighter and constructive criticism helps us all become better writers :D