My virtual contractors have yet to complete the reconstruction of the fourth wall. Warning, there may be more fourth wall breaking, lengthening the amount of time it will take to rebuild the fourth wall. And to those who keep writing on my own personal fourth wall with spray paint and other various inks, STOP IT! STOP IT! I said Stop it! *long awkward pause* Stop it!
Oh, yes, and I found my season plan! The previous challenge was supposed to be based on No Pain, No Game. But I think it turned out better the way it did.
"Last time, on Total Drama Newbies, the teams had to build their teams with some tough team-builders! In the end, Adelaide insulted Ash, and Ash rigged the unanimous decision to vote her off and made all of the votes for Adelaide. Who will take the Dock of Shame this time? Find out now, on an all-new episode of Total Drama Newbies!"
"I hate you!"
"I hate you more!"
"I hate you way more!"
"I hate you infinity squared!"
"I hate you infinity cubed!"
"You're a whore!"
"You're a Womanizer!"
These insults were exchanged in between Ash and Dalton in the mess hall. Of course, everyone knew that these weren't true. Waverly sighed and pushed Ash into Dalton. The two kissed. They broke apart and Ash slapped Dalton, who slapped Ash back. Ash stormed off, followed by Penelope.
"Ash, you know you like him, just admit it," Penelope said.
"I will not be Juliet!" Ash said.
"Does it have to be that way? So you're on opposite teams. The teams just determine who is going home!" Penelope said.
"Song time!" Chris said as the song bell rang.
"And only Ash and Dalton have to sing! And it must be a love song!" Chris said.
"Ugh, fine!" Ash said.
Dalton: I got a dirty mind
I got filthy ways
I'm tryna Bath my Ape in your Milky Way
I'm a legend, I'm irreverent
I be reverend
I be so fa-a-ar up, we don't give a f-f-f-f-ck
Welcome to the danger zone
Step into the fantasy
You are not invited to the other side of sanity
They calling me an alien
A big headed astronaut
Maybe it's because your boy Yeezy get ass a lot
Ash: You're so hypnotizing
Could you be the devil
Could you be an angel
Your touch magnetizing
Feels like I am floating
Leaves my body glowing
They say be afraid
You're not like the others
Futuristic lover
Different DNA
They don't understand you
Your from a whole other world
A different dimension
You open my eyes
And I'm ready to go
Lead me into the light
Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison
Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction
Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial
Your so supersonic
Wanna feel your powers
Stun me with your lasers
Your kiss is cosmic
Every move is magic
Your from a whole other world
A different dimension
You open my eyes
And I'm ready to go
Lead me into the light
Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison
Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction
Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial
This is transcendental
on another level
Boy, you're my lucky star!
I wanna walk on your wavelength
and be there when you vibrate
for you, I'll risk it all
Oh!
Dalton: I know a bar out in Mars
Where they driving spaceships instead of cars
Cop a Prada spacesuit about the stars
Getting stupid ass straight out the jar
Pockets on Shrek, Rockets on deck
Tell me what's next, alien sex
I'ma disrobe you, than I'mma probe you
See I abducted you, so I tell ya what to do
Ash: Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison
Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction
Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial
Extraterrestrial
Extraterrestrial
Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial
"Well, campers, that was interesting. Your challenge for today is exactly like an episode from the very first season! Teams must partner up and ride in canoes to Boney Island! And DON'T, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, EVER pull a Beth and take something from the island or you will curse you and/or your team forever! Once at Boney Island, you will Portage your canoes across the island. Also, Pickled Eggs, for winning the previous challenge, you get a slingshot and a pocket full of tranq balls. Believe me, they will help. Teams must then meet at the beach and build a rescue fire, to be judged by me. Then, you must paddle back to camp. First team back wins! Partner up and line up!" Chris said. Ash and Penelope, Kaila and Hikaru, Thunder and Ruby, Megumi and Greggory were the teams for the Jumbo Shrimp, as Waverly and Maddie, Richard and Kate, Dalton and Neveah, Tonia and Ebony were the teams for the Pickled Eggs. Each team grabbed a canoe and lined up along the shore.
"And GO!" Chris said, shooting a paintball gun to the sky, knocking down an eagle.
"I'm gonna get so many emails from the animal rights people…" Chris muttered. The teams set off on their challenge.
"Don't you wish that Dalton and Ash would just make out already?" Maddie said to Waverly as they rowed.
"Yeah, I mean, they keep denying that they like each other when they know full well that they do!" Waverly said.
"What should their couple name be?" Maddie said.
"Sierra from last season will make one up," Waverly said.
"We have Thelvin and Dalsh," Maddie said.
"Hey, that's good! You'd be good at creating shipping names for fandom," Waverly said.
"Of course," Maddie said.
"You're doing it wrong!" Ruby shouted at Ash.
"No, you are! You're rowing backwards!" Ash shouted.
"I'm not rowing backwards, you are!" Ruby said.
"Let me do the rowing!" Ash shouted grabbing the oar from Ruby. Ruby crossed her arms. Ash rowed with both oars in her hands, but failed. One of the oars slid into the water.
"Get it," Ash said.
"Hell no, you're the one who caused it to slide into the water. You get it!" Ruby said.
"You are going to do what I say!" Ash said, standing.
"I'm not your slave!" Ruby said, standing as well.
"I'm team captain!" Ash said. Ruby was fed up, and she pushed Ash into the water.
"I HOPE YOU NEVER SURFACE!" Ruby shouted and rowed away. Ash did surface and swam after Ruby. She hung onto the boat and pulled Ruby into the water, leaving their canoe immobile. The two fought under and above water. Megumi saw this and motioned for Greggory's help. The two jumped into the water and pulled the two apart. The four teammates surfaced.
"Okay, we need to cooperate here! I'll row with Ash, Megumi, you row with Ruby! Got it?" Greggory said. Off in the distance, Maddie was staring at her boyfriend, Greggory. She was precariously leaning over the edge. Waverly saw this and pulled her back onto the canoe.
"Focus," Waverly said.
"Right, focus," Maddie said.
"Good, Maggory," Waverly said.
"Who?" Maddie said.
"Maggory is you and Greggory. I know you two are together," Waverly said.
"Yeah, we are," Maddie said.
The teams got to the shore of Boney Island at the same time. The sets of partners picked up their canoes. Ash made Greggory carry it by himself, but he dropped it on her.
"It's called teamwork, Ash," Greggory said.
"I don't know the meaning of teamwork," Ash said, pretending to struggle with the canoe. She was suddenly struck with an idea that was actually against her nature, but she didn't care.
"Greggory, I can't pick this up by myself. Will you help me? You've got the muscles to do it," Ash said.
"Can't fool me. But I'll help you because we're on the same team," Greggory said, picking up the canoe. The Shrimp continued on their way.
"BEAVERS!" Dalton shouted and tried to kick them away. They were eventually deterred enough to leave. Dalton sighed and walked forward. He sank.
"Um, guys, this may sound weird, but I'm shrinking!" Dalton said.
"I'll save you, fellow teammate!" Neveah said before getting stuck herself. It was quicksand.
"Uh, oops," Neveah said. Unfortunately they were nowhere near their team.
"Where's our team?" Dalton asked.
"Beats me," Neveah said. The two exchanged glances.
"HELP!"
By the shore of Boney Island where they were supposed to meet up for the bonfire, The Pickled Eggs, sans Dalton and Neveah, had just gotten there.
"No, no! No Lighting the fire without full team," Chris said. The team looked around.
"Dalton and Neveah! Maddie, Richard, come with me!" Waverly said as she ran back into the woods. The three ran until they found a patch of quicksand with a hand sticking out of it. The hand was sinking. Waverly grabbed the hand and pulled, being helped by Maddie and Richard. Dalton and Neveah emerged from the quicksand from their pulling.
"Come on, let's hurry!" Waverly said. The five ran back to their team. The Jumbo Shrimp had a good fire going. The Eggs had gathered firewood, and had it set. Waverly pulled out a matchbox she had stolen from Thunder and lit one, throwing it onto the pile of wood. It lit in flames. Greggory was sitting on the ground making something out of something that looked gooey. Tonia looked around for more wood to burn when she spotted the oars. She threw them on the fire, much to everyone's anger.
"What the hell did you just do?" Dalton shouted.
"B-Burned the oars," Tonia said, lightly scared of her fellow campers. Suddenly, there was an explosion behind them. Greggory had thrown his concoction into the fire.
"Eggs win this leg!" Chris shouted through a megaphone. Everyone boarded their canoes except for the Eggs, whose oars were toast…literally. They stacked the canoes on top of one another and the team, sans Dalton, piled onto the top canoe. Dalton swam behind the canoes, but the Shrimp had already beaten them to the shore.
"NO!" The Eggs shouted.
Confession Can:
Richard: I'm voting for Tonia. She cost us the win.
Kate: Tonia, definitely.
Maddie: Tonia lost us the challenge. I'm voting for her.
Dalton: *obviously pissed* What the hell? I vote for Tonia.
Neveah: I guess I'll vote for Tonia.
Tonia: Dalton is who I'm voting for. He scares me some…
Ebony: I can't believe Tonia burnt our oars! I vote for her.
Waverly: TONIA!
Marion: I must vote for Tonia for costing us the win.
"Well, you have all nominated your favorite loser. If you do not receive a bag full of peanuts, you're done. Richard, Kate, Maddie, Neveah, Ebony, Waverly, and Marion." Those whose names were mentioned claimed their bags of peanuts.
"Dalton and Tonia, there is one bag left. Tonia, reasons for you to get the heck out include burning your team's oars, costing them the win… Actually, that's it. Oar burning. Dalton, reasons for you to get the heck out include being distracted by Ash and yelling at Tonia. The final bag goes to… Dalton," Chris said as Dalton came up to get his bag.
"What? I make one mistake and you vote me off? Fine, I know when I'm not wanted! Good bye and good riddance!" Tonia said, walking towards the Dock of Shame.
"Well, that concludes tonight's episode of Total Drama Newbies! Tune in next time for the thrills, chills, and drama-related thrills, here, on Total Drama Newbies!"