Sorry about the long wait. Two reasons A) life takes up too much time and B) whatever I've written for the last month or so seems so badly f**ked up, that I just can't bear to look at it, so whenever I started writing this chapter, I deleted the whole thing and started all over again.

If there is anyone out there who waited for this chapter, thank Jimenush. She made me write this, she was the brain and the engine for this chapter (well, and the whole story) so basically a huge thank you and a lot of virtual hugs go to her.

Finally, I know that what follows is terribly inaccurate scientifically, but my lovely brain and engine wanted the story to come out like this, so I've broken about a million rules of logic and biology for her. Suck it up, cause she deserves it J

Pepper had been right. Waking Tony up was hell, for both of them. His terrified, confused brain tried to make him believe that he was back in Afghanistan, about to be ducked under the water again. Having taken a cold shower, he tried to convince her that he was fine, but the journey to the hospital was no better than the morning. He was shaking life a leaf, and pitifully trying to hide it from Pepper. His attempted smile looked like a grimace, plastered to the face of somebody, who had just swallowed a glass of freshly squeezed lemon juice. When they were being driven through Tiananmen Square, he started his philosophical musings on dying and about how it would be better to die fighting for something important, than laying down on a cool table, because of one's own, pointless self-obsession. Only when Pepper spilled a few tears, wetting the sleeve of his t-shirt did he realise what he just said, and tried to lie to her again, about how removing the reactor was perfectly safe and he would be fit as a fiddle in no time. Not wanting to upset her further, he remained silent for the rest of the journey.

Wearing those disgusting, blue hospital gowns was simply stupid. He was going to stink of anaesthetic for eternity. Being perfectly healthy and pinned to a bed was even more stupid. Of course his heartbeat would be faster, of course he would have higher blood pressure. Did they really need to bother him with checking those things? Had it not been for Pepper's half-friendly, half-CEO looks, he would have snapped at somebody long ago. He didn't even realise but suddenly doctor Wu was in the room and talking to him, even though Tony couldn't hear much. He just nodded every now and then, hoping that this was expected from him.

'Shall we get started then?' the doctor asked finally, dragging Tony out of his own little world inside his head. The billionaire nodded tentatively, knowing that his voice might fail him if he tried to open his mouth. He had to bite his tongue when he was told that he wouldn't be walking anywhere himself (something about sterile conditions at hospitals or whatever), to avoid an outburst. He was a grown man, not a baby to be pushed around in his own stupid bed.

'I'll be right next to you with Rhodey, ok? And I'll see you very soon. I love you, Tony,' Pepper said quietly, suffering terribly because of the inability to even kiss him 'good luck'. Health and safety again…Well, if it was Tony's health and safety she would just have to go along with it.

'D-doctor Wu?' Tony whispered, as the man turned to leave the room ahead of Tony and the two nurses. He raised an eyebrow at Tony, indicating for the billionaire to speak his mind.

'Have you checked that…that the…C-can you just knock me out properly…please?'

The question brought confusion to the doctor's face, and Tony had no idea what reaction to expect.

'Of course. I thought we had discussed it Mr Stark.' His voice was calm, but firm and he didn't seem agitated at all, as Tony would expect. 'Is there anything I should know about, that I don't know already?' he added after a moment's hesitation.

One look at Tony told Pepper that recalling what happened when he got kidnapped in Afghanistan would completely send him over the edge. She led Dr Wu to the side, and glancing at Tony every now and then to make sure he was still in one piece, explained to him why the ever-relaxed genius suddenly became so unsure of himself. After a few moments the doctor nodded and headed out of the room again.

'Pep,' Tony whispered, outstretching his hand towards her and mustering an actual whole-hearted smile. 'I love you. I love you. I love you. '

'I'll see you soon Tony, yeah?'

When Tony was nodding in reply, he still made the effort to smile, but once Pepper was out of his sight, the schematics danced in front of his eyes again, the screaming in his head muted all coherent thought and his heart could easily give out here and now because of how quickly it was beating.

XXXXXXX

The electromagnet, check. The anaesthetics, check. Pepper and Rhodey and Pepper, check. There was something else…something important. Oh yes! Pepper, check.

'As I said, you should wake up a few hours after we finish. We've checked the magnet again and I can assure you that it's all perfectly safe,' Dr Wu said, intently looking into Tony's brown, worried eyes. 'I'll ask one last time: are you sure that you want to go down this road, Mr Stark?' he added after a moment's hesitation and lack of a reaction from the billionaire. Tony needed to swallow past a gulp in his throat before replying. Not trusting his own body, he decided to nod. He was scared, terrified even, and the tight cuff on his forearm, keeping watch over his heart rate felt heavy and intrusive.

When he looked at Pepper and Rhodey through the transparent screen, he thought he was going to jump off the table on the spot, just to run up to her, hold her in his arms, and promise that it would all be ok, that there was no need to be worried about him. He hated the fact that she was the one reassuring him with that gentle smile of hers. He was a genius, he needed to think of a way to comfort her without killing himself on the way, so a thumbs-up would have to do for the moment. Tony's battered heart almost broke in half, when it was Rhodey who replied to his gesture, because Pepper wasn't capable of doing much, but standing there and having her fingers crossed. Not that he didn't appreciate Rhodey; quite the opposite.

Suddenly, a transparent something appeared right over his head and it took him a good while to realise that it was a mask that would be used to administer the anaesthetics. Oh God, please work, please work, Yinsen please, make it…Yinsen? What? No! Anaesthetics, that would leave him unconscious (please, please, please), while all those strangers could do practically all they wanted to do to him…

Tony was terribly surprised when he discovered that his brain seemed to be slowing down somehow. Everything appeared fuzzy, as if he was watching the operating theatre through a plastic bag. He wanted to glance at Pepper one last time, but his muscles refused and he was forced to accept the overcoming wariness and give in to whatever was coming. Tony remembered the moment when he was laying sprawled on his back in the middle of an Afghan desert, covered in dust and his own blood and almost broke into tears when he realised, that maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all…

XXXXXXX

Rhodey wished he could just slump in a nearby chair, fall asleep and wake up some time next month. He would in fact be grateful for the opportunity to do anything else, than stand there with his arm on Pepper's shoulder, staring at his best friend surrounded by a group of strangers in blue gowns and masks, looking as fragile and vulnerable as this skinny fifteen years old kid, that once turned up at Rhodey's first party at MIT and somehow clung on until today.

He felt Pepper's body tremble slightly, when Tony raised his thumb as a sign that there was nothing to worry about, even though the list of possible disasters seemed to go on and on. All he could do for both of them, was to mirror Tony's gesture and attempt a feeble smile himself. When they looked at the EKG monitor, and realised that Tony's heart slowed down and he was asleep, they both felt eerily uncomfortable. The arc reactor casually disappearing from its casing and being placed on a metal tray certainly didn't help. Now Tony was not only unconscious, but also under threat of having his heart cut to pieces! The electromagnet resting above the operating table was activated immediately, and the beat on the monitor remained steady and regular.

xxxxxxx

Dr Wu looked up at Tony's worried friends standing outside and sighed. He hadn't even started properly, and they already looked as if they could pass out with worry right on the spot. He didn't dare look up as he was handed a scalpel and made the first incision. The blood was cleared immediately and the doctor took a break to steady his hands before continuing. He was a professional after all. Three cuts and five curses in Chinese later, Dr Wu was ready to begin the real job. He thought everything out in his head two times over again, before asking his assistant for the little saw he would use to cut through the ribs and sternum, partially holding the reactor housing in place. He needed to measure it out carefully, unless he wanted his patient to remain immobilised for a good while. The quiet murmur of the device calmed him down somehow, and before he even realised it, the metal casing could be removed.

It took him a moment to regain his composure, having realised that he was now facing a patient with a gaping hole in his chest, something he would have to remember and deal with for the rest of his life. Removing the shrapnel would not be as relaxing an exercise, as the previous one. If he made one wrong move, he would send this man, whom he had learned to be cheerful, loving and oh, so very trusting, to his grave. Immediately. Remembering the 'red-headed angel' as Tony called her, that was always by his side, he had a feeling that he would be breaking more than just one heart.

XXXXXXX

Neither Pepper, nor Rhodey realised how many people were in the room, until the moment their view of Tony was blocked. Pepper tensed immediately and Rhodey unconsciously tightened his grip on her arm. All they could see for a moment was a lot of commotion. Dr Wu shouted an order at somebody. Its recipient seemed to pass it on to someone, and moved to the side reaching for some plastic tubing, while another masked person pushed a needle connected to an IV into Tony's arm. Even more people seemed to be gathered around the table suddenly. Now they were all discussing something lively, sometimes shouting orders at a man in glasses, sitting behind a massive machine and intently staring at the screen. Dr Wu addressed the person across from him with a grave expression on his face, the person moved... And Pepper's heart stopped, because the line on the EKG monitor was flat.

Nobody let out a breath for a moment, which seemed like an eternity. Pepper was alternating her attention between Tony and not fainting. Rhodey was making sure that Pepper remained upright and Dr Wu…he just stood there. The bastard just stood there, as if nothing happened! Why weren't they doing anything? Why would they…? Why would Tony…?

The man sitting behind the heavy-looking machine raised his hand suddenly, forming an 'o' with his thumb and index finger. Two nurses stepped away from the table and Rhodey breathed a sigh of relief. How stupid of them…Tony's heart stopped but the machine would keep him alive for the foreseeable future. Pepper seemed to realise the obvious as well, because her body became less tense and she snuggled closer to Rhodey. He smiled at the thought that had Tony been awake, he would probably leave the room and punch him right on the spot.

XXXXXXX

Now came the really difficult part. One wrong move. One dead body.

The other doctor- Ho Yinsen, that Stark had mentioned had been right. Removing those few remaining pieces of shrapnel would be hellishly difficult and dangerous. Another deep breath was in order, somehow made difficult by the surgical mask, and the show had to go on. Putting it off wouldn't be good for anyone.

The first piece was relatively easy. With proper lighting, a number of helping hands and tools necessary to remove the blood that would otherwise make work impossible, it almost seemed like a freshman year assignment at med school. Wu still couldn't help but admire Yinsen for managing to achieve the result that he had - in a cave.

The second and third pieces were not so difficult either. They were closer to the heart, but now that it was still, steady hands were enough to save the day, and possibly Stark's life. Once doctor Wu created a regular rhythm for himself, it was much easier to work. The beginning was stressful, very stressful indeed, but now the only feeling in the room was concentration, no longer the what-the-hell-am-I-doing kind of panic.

Then came the last piece. The last piece that made Dr Wu believe in the existence of the devil and his evil minions. The last piece was pressed against the wall of Stark's heart. Not exerting any pressure, which would have killed him instantly, but resting there and being a constant threat. A landmine waiting to explode at the slightest touch. It was also far larger than any of the pieces he had had to remove so far, which made him concentrate harder still.

Wu reached out for the piece of shrapnel with the metal instrument in his hand. His assistant was readily waiting by his side, to drain away any blood that would be an obstacle in working. The first thing he needed to do, was to move it slightly to the left, so that the slightest of his movements wouldn't make the damage done to Stark's heart irreparable. The damn thing was lodged firmly in the muscle, and a single miscalculation would still have dire consequences for the billionaire. Dr Wu cursed loudly when he realised that the x-rays hadn't showm them one important thing: that getting rid of this one piece of shrapnel was practically undoable without damaging the muscles in Stark's chest further. The doctor was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He would either have to immobilise the man for a good few weeks, by cutting through the muscle to get the metal out, risk damaging the heart by trying to move the shrapnel as it was, or have to face Stark when he wakes up with a piece of metal in his chest, just to tell him that he couldn't fulfil the task given to him. Forget it, the latter wasn't even an option…

He needed to think and think quickly. He wouldn't dare raise his eyes to look at Stark's partner and his friend. He for sure wouldn't be able to look up at them after the surgery was over. There was no easy way out, maybe no way out at all. Dr Wu felt something bizarre, that he had never experienced in his entire successful career. Was it…guilt? Throughout his whole time as a doctor, he had never made a miscalculation, let alone a full-blown mistake that could cost someone their life. How could he be so stupid, so naïve, so…

…disorientated. It took only a little distraction and a mere second for his hand to slip. Not only his hand, but also the instrument held in his fingers and keeping the piece of metal in a safe position….Not any longer. Dr Wu felt it rather than saw it, and he feared what he would see when he looked carefully. Come on put yourself together. On three. One, two…

Oh, God. Please, no…

I hoped you liked it. My existential crisis has turned into a writing crisis, so I'd really appreciate your opinions. They really mean the world to me ;)

In other words, please REVIEW. I already have my lovely brain and the engine, but now I need some fuel to make the machine work faster and reviews are fuel!