Lisa-san wasn't around tonight, it made me sad. We always read on the first of the month. I was surprised that Kyouraku-taicho remembered my name, so made me feel a little bit better. Taicho walked me back to my quarters. He didn't seem to be feeling like himself, not like the first time I saw him. He just seemed so alive then, but I think he was worried today.
I hope it's not because of Lisa-san, he seemed so confident she was coming back. I don't like Kyouraku taicho being concerned. It means that there is something really big is bothering him because he always seems so upbeat and happy.
And Lisa-san is really strong. She's helped me a bunch with some kido techniques and shared some tips about fighting with a shorter weapon. Lisa-san has done so much for me. I actually consider her my friend or maybe like an older sister. Hopefully she'll be back in the morning like Kyouraku taicho said she would.
But maybe it's just this uneasy feeling around Seretei. Everywhere you go there seems to be a nagging feeling that something is going on that you know nothing about, but you should, because it might affect you. I don't enjoy this feeling at all and Lisa-san isn't here to share and discuss it with… This is actually the first time I haven't spent the first of the month with Lisa-san ever since she first saw me lose my temper.
The more I think about it, something certainly feels wrong and it's causing my chest to tighten. I'm not one for crying, especially since Lisa-san said crying can be a sign of weakness. And she also said that emotions can get in the way of one's duty as a shinigami. I want to be strong, but right now I'm having a hard time blinking back the tears.
Please Lisa-san, I need you to come home.