I originally wrote this fic as a joke for Garmaweek - (coupled with exam stress), and you know what? I'm really surprised people ended up liking it. Not complaining though XD.
"Father?" Lloyd asked, biting his lip nervously. Hell, it would be a literal miracle if this even worked, but considering the fact that his own father had once been bitten by the Great Devourer, and his uncle regressed to a toddler, luck that was probably just as garbage as the promises of Ninjago's new mayor definitely ran in the family, then. "Uh, about the quest—"
"No, Lloyd," his father sighed, not even looking up from what he was doing. They were both in the kitchen now, preparing dinner like his father suggested they do every evening. Garmadon's knife was chopping up the vegetables with envying speed. "Besides, you have lessons to complete."
Lloyd almost choked as he cracked the eggs, barely registering that he was actually using more than necessary. "On a Saturday?" he managed out incredulously.
Garmadon's brows shot up like he realized a mistake, but thankfully, before the former Dark Lord could even come up with another poor excuse of an excuse, Lloyd had rounded on him instantly.
"You just think I can't handle myself, don't you?" he accused, feeling his face twist into a furious glare. "Dad, I'm not a ki—"
"Have you forgotten about the Tomorrow's Tea?" Garmadon cut in, raising an eyebrow at him pointedly. Lloyd could feel his frustration flare as his father's lips then curled in amusement. "How old are you without it I wonder?"
Lloyd gritted his teeth, muted anger lining his gut. "To be fair, I'm already chronologically the same age I was when I fought the Overlord, and you're not letting me go on a harmless quest?"
"Harmless is it now?" Garmadon mused, tossing something into a pot. "I believe that was the state of every one of your adventures before they became the direct opposite."
"Well I'm a ninja remember? And my team needs me."
"And I need you," Garmadon said, his voice close to a whisper. The change of tone made something heavy form in Lloyd's throat.
He swallowed heavily at that, but failed to banish the feeling. "You've had me for the past six months," Lloyd pointed out desperately. "Please, can't I just go for a few days?"
Then, Garmadon's hand came resting on his shoulder.
"The Oni invasion was just for a few days, yet look what happened in the end," his father said softly. Their eyes met for a moment, and Lloyd wondered just what was staring back at him—frustrated green or a furious red. "I almost lost you."
"But you didn't," Lloyd replied, feeling the grip on his shoulder tighten. 'I'm fine, so is everyone, so is Ninjago, and I go on missions all the time—heck, I was still doing it back even back then when you were—"
Dead, he finished mournfully in his head, his stomach churning.
"in the Departed Realm," he eventually finished aloud. However, despite that, Garmadon still flinched, seeming to catch on to the other meaning anyway. "And I've made it quite fine all these years so—"
"So enjoy your rest," Garmadon said firmly, releasing his shoulder. Lloyd bit back a curse, and his father's hand then went up to his chin, clasping it gently. "Son," he murmured, a faint hint of desperation clouding his voice. "I do not want to lose you."
"It's a quest, dad," Lloyd reminded him pointedly, resisting the strong urge to roll his eyes. "Not an invasion or a Ninjago takeover. Geez, I'll be back once we all feel like ninja again."
Garmadon gave him a tight smile. "I had hoped to give you some normalcy," he said. "A simpler life, but safer—"
"I'll be fine, dad," Lloyd told him, growing annoyed. "Like I said, I survived the Overlord—I survived Morro—heck, even the Time Twins and look, I'm still here," he flashed his father a smile, one that he hoped was both convincing and also enough to mask his dangerously increasing irritation. "I'll even call you every day if you want."
Garmadon remained silent.
"So can I go?" Lloyd then asked hopefully.
The ex-dark lord merely sighed, rubbing his forehead. "How about we finish with dinner first?" he suggested.
Lloyd wanted to scream.
'The Welfare Of The Extremely Unwell Green Ninja'
fiyahboyy : u guys online?
mywife'snameiscake : duh
Zane Julien : I am available.
sparkplug : hi
sparkplug : um, i'm still welcome here right?
mywife'snameiscake : unfortunately, yes.
sparkplug : jokes on u
sparkplug : nya just added me back to the other group too!
mywife'snameiscake : (sigh) is lloyd sick?
Zane Julien : If that is the case, he must not participate in tomorrow's adventure.
fiyahboyy : fsm
fiyahboyy : oh gods, no
mywife'snameiscake : so why did u choose the only group lloyd's not in again?
fiyahboyy has added Sensei Garmadon.
mywife'snameiscake : kai?
sparkplug : dude-
fiyahboyy : :)
fiyahboyy : that's why
Kai was going to throw a party after this, wasn't he?
Lloyd dragged himself to the table, beyond miserable as he took a seat. He swallowed his pride, feeling like he was actually willingly swallowing corrosive poison...or Devourer bile...or even Cole's chilli... whatever that made him tempted to vomit the daylights out of himself these days.
All the more reason why he hated this.
Here goes nothing, he thought, a flood of despair shooting through his veins.
"Dad," Lloyd said just as Garmadon had started to dig into his own plate, his throat bubbling with nervousness. "Can... can we talk about the quest now?"
Garmadon looked up, letting out a small sigh. "Son—"
It was then when a soft chime filled the air, cutting Garmadon off in an instant. His father's eyes widened in surprise, before immediately trailing to the coffee table where his phone sat. Within seconds, the chime was quickly followed by another, and another and much more until Lloyd was sure this was far more than one of his usual notifications.
"Strange," Garmadon mused, a curious look smeared on his face. "I never get messages."
He then stood up, walking over to collect the source of noise before Lloyd could expect it. His gaze instantly landed on the screen, seeming to register the sight before him. Lloyd's eyebrows plunged down the moment his father's own shot up.
"A group chat," he muttered, index finger sliding upwards. "How did they even have my number?"
"Weird," Lloyd agreed, chewing on his lip harder than ever. "Dad, can we uh talk now—"
"Wait," Garmadon frowned, but then realization dawned his eyes. "This... this is the group chat of the ninja."
Lloyd could've sworn he'd almost choked. "What?"
"Your friends—it seems they have included me in their group chat," Garmadon said, momentarily disbelieved before he then released a collective groan. "You young people choose odd names," he complained. "Who in the 16 realms would select 'sparkplug' to be theirs?"
sparkwha—
Lloyd didn't remember exactly when he had stood up, but all he knew was that he was now already standing beside his father, panicked fingers frantically snatching the device out of the older man's hands.
"Apparently, they require my guidance for their quest," his father was saying as Lloyd's brain registered the words on the screen. Oh gods no...there was no way his so-called friends could be that cruel.
Lloyd's voice sounded weak, shaking like his hands were. "T-They asked you?"
Dammit, of course they—
"Indeed," Garmadon replied, seemingly deep in thought. After a while, he turned to Lloyd, appearing having considered something.
"Son," he began slowly, placing a hand on his shoulder. There was a small smile gracing his aged lips, one that for some reason made sheer dread soar through Lloyd's system.
"How do feel about visiting the monastery tomorrow?" he asked, quirking up an eyebrow.
Lloyd could only stare at him in shock, while Garmadon looked at him expectantly.
"Well?" Garmadon asked again, seeming amused.
Then the next thing Lloyd knew, he was shoving the phone back into his father's hand, the stunned former dark lord saying nothing as his feet then carried him to his bedroom. As soon as he was inside, desperate hands raced in alarm to rip his own device from the charger, curses he didn't even remember learning escaping his tongue without him thinking much—but Lloyd didn't care, couldn't even bring himself to care, really. All he could was just stare down at the green phone case, feeling his face morph into the iciest glare of his entire life.
Funny, he should have expected this. His phone had been damningly silent for the past two hours, after all.
But not for much longer.
Lloyd gritted his teeth. Oh, he had a lot of things to say alright.
'I Solemnly Swear To Drink Coffee To Spite My Sensei'
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : CARE TO EXPLAIN JUST WTH IS GOING ON?
sparkplug : uh, the kitchen almost got burned down if that's what ur asking, thanks to cole btw.
mywife'snameiscake : for fsm's sake it was just 1 time. oNe goddamn time n you're acting like i'm the worst cook in history.
sparkplug : sorry cole but u ARE the worst cook in history.
mywife'snameiscake : man, what happened to positive thinking?
Zane Julien : I assumed that you both have resolved your differences after Master Chen's tournament.
sparkplug : well that was BEFORE someone decided to put blonde dye in my shampoo last month.
mywife'snameiscake : that wasn't me!
fiyahboyy : here we go again...
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : YOU
fiyahboyy : uh...
fiyahboyy :me?
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : not only is there a weird group chat dedicated to my fucked up health, but u also added my dad?
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : and invited him before i had no choice but to do it?
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : seriously how cruel can u fucking be
sparkplug : rip kai
fiyahboyy : c'mon, u stand a better chance getting to go on this quest with sensei g and u know it!
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : i was trying to talk to him!
fiyahboyy : like u had it under control
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : i did!
fiyahboyy : u only delay the inevitable
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : stop quoting the omega
fiyahboyy : nah, that's an original line
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : in your dreams
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : stop stealing from Oni culture
fiyahboyy : YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT'S ONI CULTURE???
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : i just can't believe u went behind my back and did THAT of all fucked up things!
fiyahboyy : it's just been so long, buddy.
fiyahboyy : i mean,c'mon, all of us want to reconnect with an old sensei, right guys?
sparkplug : yeah
mywife'snameiscake : no kidding
Zane Julien : That is correct.
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : i despise u
fiyahboyy : u already made that pretty clear this afternoon though
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : but not clear enough, apparently
sparkplug : ouch
mywife'snameiscake : uh, sorry green machine
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : where's nya
fiyahboyy : probably still preventing the kitchen from becoming ashes.
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : fsm
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : and ur just texting?
sparkplug : actually, we're spending our last moments with cole.
sparkplug : before sensei kills him.
mywife'snameiscake : it was nice knowing you all, ninja
fiyahboyy : ur latest achievement was setting wu's beard on fire though.
fiyahboyy : that's still something
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : u gotta be kidding me
mywife'snameiscake : hey, it's not my fault he was making tea while i was cooking.
sparkplug : yeah, cause there should be a warning sign everytime ur in the kitchen, dirtcloud.
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : please at least tell me u got a picture
Zane Julien : I have a recording saved in my memory banks. Perhaps I can ensure it is sent to your device as soon as possible.
fiyahboyy : do u have the part where he was running to the gaming room swearing though
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : he was WHAT?
sparkplug : let's just say
sparkplug : u missed a lot
sparkplug : and also, cole's got talent
mywife'snameiscake : how is setting his beard on fire a talent, again???
Zane Julien : I believe Jay was referring to your ability to cause Master Wu to vocally express profanity.
fiyahboyy : and here i've been trying for the past five years. Five fucking years and it's never even worked ONCE.
mywife'snameiscake : but is it weird that we're just laughing at this...at the blazing beard of our dear sensei?
mywife'snameiscake : or am i the only who is
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : ...
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : i'm a terrible nephew.
fiyahboyy : and we're terrible students
sparkplug : also, terrible siblings
fiyahboyy : JAY!
Zane Julien : I suppose slightly shortening the length of Wu's beard would not affect him negatively.
fiyahboyy : so lloyd
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : yeah?
fiyahboyy : u still coming tomorrow? even though i did the most vilest thing in all of ninjago?
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : well first of all
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : i just wanna know this even makes sense.
fiyahboyy : what
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : how is it that he's worried about my safety
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : but
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : he's actually allowing me to go on this quest.
mywife'snameiscake : still, didn't he not allow you to go at first though? the only way he did was by letting him tag along with us.
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : exactly.
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : so basically he doesn't want me to go rushing into danger but he's ALSO allowing me to. yeah, I know he's only doing this bcuz he's coming with us and all, but how the fuck is that supposed to keep me SAFE again?
sparkplug : ur dad's weird
fiyahboyy : or maybe he just thinks he can protect you
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : protect ME? Oh, u mean he just thinks that I'm still some kid???
fiyahboyy : errrr...i think u should calm down
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : CALM DOWN???
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : HOW IN THESE 16 SCREWED UP REALMS DO U EXPECT ME TO
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : hey, on second thought, that might work
mywife'snameiscake : ...huh?
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : i could be calm.
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : calm enough to be a mature leader.
fiyahboyy : what the fucking heck
sparkplug : ur making no sense :O
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : which MEANS i could show him. don't u get it?
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : i could show him to his face that i DON'T actually need him like he thinks i do anymore.
sparkplug : well, that makes sense, but r u okay?
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : yes
fiyahboyy : lloyd, are u SURE ur even okay???
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : i feel better than okay, actually.
Destiny'sGreenPunchingBag : btw, i gtg. i guess i'll see you guys tomorrow at 8?
mywife'snameiscake : considering we're leaving after breakfast, 8 sounds good.
mywife'snameiscake : but you're welcome to show up earlier though. we could have breakfast together or smth. As a team.
mywife'snameiscake : uh, lloyd?
Zane Julien : He has become offline quite suddenly.
fiyahboyy : no shit
sparkplug : u guys sure some other ghost didn't just possess him or something?
A splash of karma : So
A splash of karma : Since i'm too lazy to scroll
A splash of karma : Mind if i ask what did i miss?
sparkplug : nya!
fiyahboyy : just lloyd being a bit weird, that's all.
a splash of karma : weird?
sparkplug : errrr...we're starting to think he might have gotten possessed again
Zane Julien : That is unlikely.
mywife'snameiscake : and by 'we' he actually means himself.
sparkplug : don't listen to his web of lies, nya!
a splash of karma : too late for that
A splash of karma : Oh, and sensei's looking for cole btw.
mywife'snameiscake : and here i was just getting used to being alive.
sparkplug : rip@mywife'snameiscake, tragically executed for burning off the tip of a thousand year old beard...
fiyahboyy : what a legend.
Zane Julien : My algorithms highly doubt that is the correct age of the beard, Jay.
sparkplug : so is it 2 thousand then?
A splash of karma : It's been a fun ride, cole.
fiyahboyy : guess we're down to 5 again
mywife'snameiscake : 5 ninja, saving the world without mai earth punch?
mywife'snameiscake : that'll be interesting to watch.
sparkplug : we can survive well on our own thank u.
mywife'snameiscake : i'll believe that when i see it.
fiyahboyy : guys
fiyahboyy : does...anyone else hear footsteps coming to the living room?
mywife'snameiscake : errrr
mywife'snameiscake : can you see a rice hat, a pissed off old face and a white beard by any chance?
fiyahboyy : i see all 3 of them
fiyahboyy : and a staff
mywife'snameiscake : fuck
sparkplug : ur hooped aren't u
Zane Julien : That is Master Wu, indeed.
A splash of karma : Sayonara, cole.
mywife'snameiscake :how is punishment by brain damage even legal again?
Zane Julien :There is no record that it ever was in Ninjago.
sparkplug : cole, did u seriously expect SENSEI WU to be a forgiving law abiding citizen???
mywife'snameiscake : idk. Maybe?
fiyahboyy : u do realize ur talking bout the same guy that made us once train 8 hours straight 2 years ago right?
mywife'snameiscake : ...
mywife'snameiscake : i-
sparkplug : O.O
mywife'snameiscake : guess this is it, then.
Zane Julien : We will miss you, my friend.
A splash of karma : Wait
A splash of karma : He's offline
sparkplug : Cole!
sparkplug : no!
fiyahboyy : we'll serve cake at ur funeral!
sparkplug : and bury some with u!
Zane Julien : Forgive me, but is that even the proper way of burial?
A splash of karma : It isn't
fiyahboyy : but since when have we all done things the proper way
A splash of karma : Kai
fiyahboyy : what?
The rest of the night was mostly spent in silence, not as if that was anything unusual in his household. It was now late, and Garmadon found himself leaning against the doorframe of his son's bedroom, a soft smile playing on his lips.
"Already packed?" he asked curiously, red eyes rested on his son.
Lloyd glanced at him from where he sat on his bed, with what was unmistakeably a comic book sitting on his lap. "Pretty much," the blonde answered distractedly.
Garmadon then stepped forward, momentarily taking in the sight of the bedroom. He felt a twinge of both relief and regret as he noticed the lack of clutter. Back at his old monastery, walking into a clean version of his son's room was almost as nearly impossible as finding his father's tomb, but now, it served as another stark reminder of how much of Lloyd's growth he'd actually missed...missed once again.
Their family's fate was indeed a cruel thing.
"Are there any crucial essentials that I should bring?" Garmadon asked, forcefully shoving the thoughts back to where they rightfully belonged. This wasn't the time for this. "I must say your friends never quite explained where we were venturing," he commented dryly.
"They never told you?" Lloyd blurted out, his eyebrows arched in disbelief. And soon, Garmadon could see his jaw begin to work as a scowl seemed to come through. "Of course," his son then muttered under his breath, but Garmadon heard it nonetheless. "They were too excited about that after all."
"That?" Garmadon inquired, confused as to what he meant. However, Lloyd offered no explanation, merely burying his face in his hands. "Son?"
"The Desert of Doom," came Lloyd's highly muffled reply. He had a feeling his son's exasperated hands were going to start reaching for his hair very soon. "That's where we're going."
"Ah..." Garmadon breathed, understanding immediately dawning upon him. It turned to sheer puzzlement as quickly as it had come. So they were going to a desert then. Were the ninja genuinely that excited just for a desert? Or was it something else...
Though, why did the name sound familiar?
"Did you pack sunscreen?"
"Yup," Lloyd answered gloomily, staring at his lap. Garmadon could feel his forehead crease in concern.
"Lloyd," he then said, carefully making sure to keep his tone gentle. "You do not need to go if you do not want to."
Immediately, Lloyd's head shot up, detaching itself from his hands like a fly would do to a wall. Garmadon had to stifle a laugh and a frown at the sudden change, his son's voice now not that far away from a dignified yelp. "Who said I didn't—"
"I was just making sure," Garmadon said, raising his arms in surrender. Lloyd sent him a dirty look, while Garmadon merely crossed his arms. However, some part of him couldn't help but sink in disappointment. Misako had given him a generous amount of grief about that before. Who was he fooling — Lloyd practically belonged there.
And goodness, they had to meet the others the next morning didn't they—
"That aside, it is late," Garmadon then told him sternly, watching as Lloyd's attention instantly launched itself onto his wristwatch. His eyes were instantly the size of saucers after registering the digits. "Get your sleep, son. We leave early tomorrow."
"Alright.Goodnight dad," Lloyd replied tightly, not even looking up from his watch. Garmadon briefly frowned as he took notice of that, but then decided not to comment.
Instead, he merely reached to ruffle his hair with a smile. "Sleep well."