Okay, wow, so I have a lot of apologising to do. I told myself I would write this chapter when I broke up for summer but alas, that did not happen. I actually got an email though through my phone telling me I had a new follower and so consequently started traipsing through my reviews which I had completely forgotten about and they all made me so happy I had to write this! I've been studying for my GCSEs since January and stopped in June so it's been a lot of work, that partially explains the lack of chapters - but really, I was just being lazy. I'm really so sorry for this.

I hope you enjoy this chapter.

At Hogwarts, a fine layer of snow was beginning to settle on the surrounding grounds and tips of the towers. A cheerful premonition was hanging in the air as everyone heartily awaited the third week of December, which really, was the time felt to the students like it really was Christmas. However, the excitement did have to be suppressed as lessons continued as normal and professors found that sustaining the lower years' attention was increasingly difficult as the skies maintained a steady snowfall outside the windows of the castle. Professor McGonagall found that student concentration decreased as the interesting landscape outside caught their attention and their eyes wandered. She considered blacking out the windows as a precautionary measure but this was met with great disapproval from the other teachers, so she only used the idea as a careful threat to any pupils that could not keep their eyes off the grounds.

Hermione felt a mix of emotions as she anticipated the holiday. She was confronted with elation as she realised she had made it to Christmas and her bones had stayed strong throughout the start of the Winter months, however, this emotion was crossed with the nagging feeling that it would most definitely be her last - and that it was not enough to be care-free and untroubled as she normally was this month - she would have to make the most of it. Deciding to stay at Hogwarts was something she deliberated during sleepless nights, but the love and need for her friends (who were her second family after all) seemed to override the yearning for her parents. She knew she would most definitely see them before she died. She would.

It was at the breakfast table when she first saw Malfoy from across the room. Somehow the two had not crossed paths since she had left him. She wondered whether it was because of the fact he had to handle both jobs of Head Boy and Head Girl. He was looking at her from the Slytherin breakfast gathering and she was looking at him. This was entirely unforeseen, and he managed to look away before she began to rise. She sat back down with the unconstrained urge to talk to him. Still.

"Hermione? What are you staring at?" Ginny asked, from the opposite side of the table. She had seen nothing of this exchange, thankfully, apart from Hermione's part in it - which just involved her staring ahead with an afflicted look gracing her features. Fortunately Malfoy was entirely out of sight now, having risen and gone somewhere else.

"Nothing, sorry. I was distracted. What were you saying?" Hermione struggled to drag herself away from the depths of her thoughts.

"Just that Ron was being really moody the other day. It doesn't matter. Just making conversation." Ginny stabbed at her bacon violently, her ears noticeably reddening.

Hermione sighed, realising she did this countless amounts of times. Distracted. And the guilt overwhelmed her when her friends pointed out that she had missed half the conversation and was completely elsewhere. Ginny did not hold back when doing this. But then, Hermione wondered, what could she do? It was inevitable that her thoughts were to stray when there was so much on her mind.

"I'm sorry, Gin. I have a lot on my mind."

"It's okay." It didn't seem okay.

"Look, tell me about you and Harry." This always seemed to cheer Ginny up, talking about her favourite topic of conversation. As a plus side, Hermione could just nod and respond generally as she thought of other matters, too.

"Hmm. Let me think about it. We went to Hogsmeade yesterday to get early Christmas presents. There's a new gift shop next to Dogweed and Deathcap, I can't quite remember its name but I bought Mum's present there. I'm sure you'll find something appropriate for yours! It's really lovely. What else... Oh! I know that Ron's staying here with you for Christmas but we thought we could stay too. We initially were going to go home but there's no point really. Especially as it might be.." Ginny coughed and trailed off, only just stopping herself before she said-

"My last?" Hermione finished. She nodded, "Ginny, it's fine. Please don't tread on eggshells around me. It's belittling."

"I'd say it's the opposite, actually." Ginny muttered. Hermione turned to groan as Harry and Ron propped themselves up on the bench, facing the two girls either side of the table.

"Malfoy's been asking for you, Hermione." Harry said, with a slight smirk which was clouded with denunciation.

Her head shot to the side so quickly she felt a nerve twang. "What?"

"He came up to me and Ron - it obviously took him a lot of physical and emotional stamina asking something of us because he looked awful." He looked at Ron, who was sniggering idiotically. "Anyway, he was asking where you were and whether you were okay. He looked kind of weird though when asked the latter. Does he know, Hermione? At first when he asked I wasn't completely sure whether I'd heard correctly. But Ron remembers, too. We agreed you wouldn't be so stupid as to tell Malfoy, though!" The boys both laughed audibly as Ginny joined in; unaware that Hermione just had been that stupid.

Hermione had taken the leisure in-between lessons to wander aimlessly around the castle until she found something interesting. Having spent half of her life here, however, had its disadvantages. One of them being that finding something interesting was a rare occasion, account for the fact that she had found them all on her adventures with Harry and Ron.

"Granger!"

Hermione reeled, and looked at Malfoy. "I heard you'd been looking for me."

He clearly felt abashed by this, as he looked away suddenly, "Yeah. Sorry." He started walking away from her, and she thought that was the end of the conversation until he sat down on a bench in a far corner and looked at her actively. He beckoned her with his eyes, which she didn't think was too obvious. She followed suit, and found out as she sat down that the bench was not spacious enough for two to sit comfortably so they sat stiffly and uncomfortably close in-between the alcove walls. "I think we should talk about what happened the other week."

She feigned nonchalance. "Ah, yes. Well, I'd forgotten about it really." She definitely had not forgotten about it.

Draco composed himself after a minor lapse in his hardened expression as he considered her response. "Oh, I see. Fine." He almost spat this at her.

They sat in silence for a few seconds before her patience failed. "I hadn't been with anyone since Ron. I was feeling very lonely. You were there. I needed to feel something other than disgust, or guilt, or just pure unhappiness. I felt something else when you touched me and I just... you were there. It was... Merlin, Malfoy, it was... my guard was down. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise." He had gone soft on her ever since the confession.

They both paused, and she muttered gingerly amidst the deafening quiet, "what's your excuse?"

He looked at her and his eyes were grave. Cold, liquid grey. "My guard was down." They both smiled, his expression hastily steeled. "I needed to feel something, as well. I certainly felt something." Draco felt his mouth parch.

Hermione gulped, she became horribly aware of her heart beating faster than normal. "What?"

"Hm?"

"What did you feel?"

"Your aching. My desperation. Everything." He considered this for a second as she stared at him. And then something flicked and his whole face shut down. He rose, his tall body unfolding. Clearing his throat he turned, she assumed, to say goodbye, but he thought better and walked briskly away - the length of his robes billowing behind him.

Hermione had only just acclimatized to her new dorm. Having spent the majority of her Hogwarts years in the same type of room until she was appointed Head Girl, you wouldn't have thought she'd be fazed by it, but once you are given a satin bed-throw and a room as big as the Gryffindor Common Room, there's no going back.

There was a knock at the door. Once she had managed to get up and compose herself from her position on the floor, she responded with a cheerful welcoming call. Ginny poked her head round, "there's someone downstairs asking for you." She had a sly smile on her face and Hermione thought for one dreadful second that it was Malfoy. Ginny obviously saw her face drop as she quickly corrected her slight mistake at holding back any details, "don't worry! It's very sweet actually." A consequent afterthought: "Don't forget your mittens!"

She made her way down the steps into the common area a few minutes later and found Mike involved in a conversation with Neville. Hermione caught his eye and he finished his conversation, before approaching her. He smiled, noticed her woolly hat and mittens and looked back up at her. "You came prepared."

"Well, Ginny recommended I layer up. Are you taking me somewhere?"

"I thought we could go to Hogsmeade for some Christmas shopping. Get to know each other." Hermione had never experienced anyone as forward as Mike, but thought it exciting, and worrying, at the same time.

She let herself smile, let herself be lead through the door and out of the castle. She couldn't help but think that Mike was just another person to get close to, another person she had to let down. Another person who she had to tell.

As they walked to through the grounds, she wondered whether during their trip, it would be the best to tell him early on in their relationship. They hadn't progressed very much, it would be okay if she told him, he wouldn't be too upset. She subconsciously encouraged herself, and decided that over a cup of tea in Madam Puddifoot's would be appropriate.

They spent their evening in the various shops of the village. A trip to Spintwitches catered Harry and Ron's gifts from Hermione, who both were in desperate need of shin and arm guards - both of their pairs had withered away from the countless matches in the Weasleys' garden. They certainly weren't what she would call "friendly". Tomes and Scrolls provided books for herself, which Hermione found particularly pleasing as she was running low and needed a few good reads to escape to.

Hermione began to feel tired, her legs felt raw and her bones smarted. He noticed her expressing a grimace and suggested that they sat down. It was getting late and she knew if she didn't tell him now she never would. Mike ordered a pot of black tea - his favourite - and scones. They sat in comfortable silence until she almost collapsed from the melancholy feeling she felt forming in her throat. "Mike, there's something I should tell you before we go any further."

She heard him physically gulp, "you're not a death eater, are you?" He laughed. Half-skittish, half-amused.

"No, Mike. This is hard for me to say." She sensed her eyes glaze over and wiped at them anxiously.

He noticed the gravity of her expression and almost drew back. "What is it?" He exhaled.

"I only have a few months to live. I have a cancerous bone tumour on my hip." She paused. "I'm sorry." What was she apologising for?

He stared at her. There was a moment where she thought he was going to hurl the teapot at her. "I see." She immediately regretted everything she had said.

"I'm sorry... I didn't think-" Again, apologies.

"What exactly was the point of us going out then? If you only have a few months left, why exactly did you pursue this? Merlin. This was an insignificant waste of my time." He tossed a few sickles on the table and immediately departed the teashop.

For the first time, Hermione wished in horror that he had felt sorry for her, reached out for her hand over the table and grazed the back of her hand with his thumb, sympathised with her. For the first time, Hermione recognised her need to be cared for - and once she knew it, she couldn't forget it. Her desperation was suffocating.

Paying for the tea and ignoring the gawking from fellow students who had watched the scene, she exited and made her way back up to the castle.

At least he'd had the decency to pay for the date, she reflected.

A/N: Thanks for reading guys! Again, I'm so sorry about the massive delay. Please leave me feedback, criticism etc. - it encourages me to keep writing!

Love,

Eve