Under the din of the water jet thundering onto his skull, Walter secretly wished he would drown. The soft click of the door handle turning over in its brass chamber resonated incongruously against the constant cadence of the water. His eyes snapped open and his self-awareness returned. He had a need to diminish and his shoulders curled in as his hands crept over to cover the ugly flesh below his waist. He backed into the corner of the shower quietly, letting the water project a curtain between him and everything else. Footsteps could be heard along with the medicine cabinet mirror opening and shutting. Daniel's voice,

"You okay, buddy?"

The shower spray against the bathtub floor was the only reply.

"Rorschach?"

Walter watched in horror and anticipation as a hand parted the shower curtain on the far side of the tub. He crammed his eyes shut and turned his head. He felt then that Daniel's eyes cast upon him would be like bathing in a corona, bright and blistering.

It didn't quite feel quite right peeping in on Rorschach but Dan pushed the notion aside roughly. Tonight was the first time that Dan saw the reality that his friend was capable of being vulnerable. The man had come completely unhinged. Now Rorschach wouldn't answer him and he was concerned. Either something was wrong or he would get pummeled for invading Rorschach's privacy. Visions of Rorschach at the bottom of his tub in his own blood with his wrists gaping open swam before his mind's eye. He figured could handle getting pummeled.

He risked his good eye and peered into his shower. Dim in the steamy shower, a pale gaunt figure curled against the wall. It was tucked in on itself. Its strong veined hands weakly covered its genitals and face. He knew the pattern of scars that swathed over the liberally freckled skin. Those were his stitches after all. He'd never seen his friend appear this malnourished and diminutive. Had his collarbones really sat that high before? There was a place along one of his shins that may have been a crooked mend from a break. This, this man who loomed over his opponents in the streets but was a head shorter than Dan, this man who intimidated Dan just by proximity, this man who was impenetrable, immovable, intractable, indestructible, could not be the sallow withered form that desperately tried to press itself into the wall away from Dan's gaze. Dan was sure he wasn't supposed to see this. The weight of Rorschach's humanity crashed down upon his heart. He swallowed past his Adams apple.

Sound and the damp feeling of warm steam were the only senses Walter could feel. They were the only senses he wanted to feel behind his clamped eyelids. Rorschach could stand straight, confident, and proud, not Walter. He assumed Daniel must have left him to finish washing his soiled carcass for he heard nothing for a while save the beating of rain in the shower and the slight rustle of the curtain closing again. He had resigned to open his eyes when he felt a presence. Years of tracking in the dark honed his sense of how noise and air travel around an object and what that displacement meant. He sensed a large presence in front of him and startled when fingertips gathered his right elbow.

The touch and sluicing water summoned remembrance of when his mother would snatch him roughly by the arm and jerk his naked body forward to scour him mercilessly. He had a hard time calling her mother. He had wondered whether her cruel way with him was her hatred and frustration with him or her hatred and frustration with her own life. He wanted to fight back but the thought of her painful retribution would cow him so he cried instead. He finally broke free when he did start fighting back and oh, how free that felt. He had been battling the odds ever since. Now, he felt tired and broken. So many struggles, so much work, and for what? All there were left were tears, a hollow carcass, and the cold pillars of his beliefs that seemed indifferent to him now.

Warm fingers gently pulled him forward. A sure hand closed around the wrist near his face and coaxed it away with tender pressure. He felt his muscles lock and he turned his face away. Daniel's voice was near.

"Hey now, hey now. It's okay. It's just me. Just me."

It's because it's you. Walter heard himself say in his head. His eyes were still crammed shut. The hand holding his wrist gently forced it down despite his resistance until it met with his other wrist and released its grasp. Only then did he realize Daniel was trying to help him cover his shame. Quickly, he clasped himself with both hands.

"See?" Daniel's thick hands were on his upper arms. "I've got severe myopia, remember? I can't see past my nose without my glasses and they are on the sink."

Walter's head remained tucked down. Daniel retrieved a washcloth and bar of soap, careful not to graze the other man. The smell of detergent rose with the steam and Walter felt the lathered rag placed upon his neck. Dan's voice made excuses for him, "Good idea, though. Might get soap in your eyes." Daniel's hands worked soapsuds into his neck and kneaded the tight muscles. A firm hand pressed between Walter's shoulder blades as the soapy cloth scrubbed his chest and shoulders. Daniel was washing him. Just like he promised. Nothing more. Walter's posture loosened slightly and he even turned to help Daniel as he worked. He wanted to open his eyes and see Daniel but he feared the beauty of what he might perceive. He let Daniel raise one arm to wash and then replace it for the other.

"That's it, buddy." Dan soothed. "Not gonna hurt ya."

Rorschach snapped. Instantly, he grabbed Dan's wrist in a crushing grasp and wrenched his arm back. His eyes snapped open and burned like fire with defensive rage. His fierce glare struck Dan in the face and his frame locked into his familiar combat stance. You can't hurt me. The thought burned in his mind and flashed across his face but then extinguished as soon as it flared. The shock in Daniel's face was palpable. His mouth was open like a fish drowning in air. It was Dan's turn now to tremble. He was naked and in proximity to an equally naked and volatile Rorschach. Had . . . he . . . totally . . . lost his mind? He was close to twice Rorschach's size but he'd seen Rorschach take down bigger. This was obviously a bad decision. He sees that now. How the hell was he going to get out of this alive?

But the look of abject terror on Daniel's face halted Walter's explosion of anger. The fuse was short and hot. It had flared so quickly, but that old way was no longer relevant. It wasn't true anymore. Daniel could hurt him. He could hurt him because Walter would let him. The fire in his gaze went out as Daniel's face stared back in fear from behind a swollen purple eye. He dropped Daniel's wrist and gasped, "I . . . I . . ." Daniel took a step back. Red fingerprints blossomed where Walter's hand had been. "No, Daniel. I . . . " his voice broke but his mind ran wild. I'm sorry. Daniel, I'm sorry. I don't -I didn't mean-

Dan leaned against the shower wall to catch his breath and make sure his heart didn't leap out of his throat. He carded a hand through his hair and didn't look at Rorschach as he whispered, "Jesus." Walter began to die inside as he watched Daniel recede from him. Dan looked over to see Walter watching him with an expression of anguish. He knew there were new tears despite the tap water raining about them. God, he thought, this might be more dangerous than I thought. He rubbed his wrist and rose from the shower wall, inching away from Rorschach.

"No. No, buddy." he soothed. "This is my fault. This is wrong. It was wrong of me."

"No!" Walter sobbed. Daniel was still receding. God, it hurt. "No!" Trembling fingers scrabbled at Dan's arm, grasping like talons but falling away in fear of causing more harm. Dan flinched at the contact, much like Rorschach would. He'd received a black eye and now most assuredly his wrist would turn purple from being crushed in Rorschach's grip. Daniel's confidence in this endeavor was beginning to wane. Maybe he expected too much too soon.

Walter felt Daniel flinch away as he grabbed for him. "Daniel! Daniel!" he shrieked in a hoarse whisper as he began to panic. He managed to seize Dan's hand again and it felt stiffen with fear like a trapped rabbit. He pressed the knuckles to his face and began to weep openly over his mistake. "I didn't mean it! I don't know what happened . . . didn't mean it . . . didn't mean it . . . "

God, but he's a wreck, thought Dan. I should have anticipated this. Rorschach was always explosive. Daniel could always count on making some sort of misstep to accidentally offend Rorschach. Rorschach would blow up and leave and then would eventually sulk back to the Owl's Nest again when he had cooled off. That was their modus operandi. He should've seen it coming. It was just another repetition of their old pattern. He'd been afraid Rorschach would rip him limb from limb. Rorschach stood whispering and weeping into Dan's hand like his mother had just died. Dan's fear gave way to pity and then to guilt for shying away so easily. He turned back to encompass the trembling naked form that sought him, regretting the thought of ever leaving him. He ran his fingers through the damp red hair and then rested his cheek against it. Walter stilled as Daniel ran a thumb across his eyebrow gently. The showering rain beat down upon them.

"I know you can't help it, buddy." Dan whispered as he held his partner. "I know it's hard." He fell silent and then added presently, "I still love you. I always have."

Walter gave no answer. His head rested heavily against Daniel's neck.

Eventually, the water did begin to run tepid and Dan had silently begun to wash Rorschach again. His movements were slow and purposeful as if to say, "all has been forgiven." The effect of hands, Daniel's hands, bathing him was therapeutic and calming but also aroused other areas of interest that Walter had hoped were dead. When he tried to shrink away or cover himself Daniel would reassure, "Just don't pay any attention to it. Just forget it's there. Just relax." Dan himself was becoming pronounced in a way he didn't think was possible until now. The intimate beauty of Rorschach's bare soul was spiritually arousing. Dan thankfully had the sense to know that the soul and the flesh were united and when his pleasure became expressed bodily, he felt no shame. They chose to ignore it, each avoiding the flesh that projected rudely into their methodical ritual of ablution.

Walter felt that this is what Archie must feel like, if it felt at all. Strong caring hands working over him, cleaning him like he were a sacred object, disinfecting parts of him that were infected, purifying parts of him that were tainted. He stopped breathing when Daniel had reached down to lave suds into the auburn curls between his legs. He feared he might discharge right there but Daniel said low, "Easy. Easy. Almost done." and then turned to rinse him as if he were doing the dishes. Daniel hurried to wash Walter's hair and they finished just as the water began to get icy. Walter was dripping wet and shivering but Dan was prepared with a thick fluffy towel for each of them. He wrapped his towel around his waste and tenderly helped Walter dry himself before offering him his own robe. Walter knew he should feel embarrassed to be fussed over but he couldn't bring himself to despise the luxury. Daniel pulled the robe's collar high to Walter's neck, not wanting the man to be cold.

"I've got some things you can wear until I launder your suit." he said, "You can use my bedroom tonight. I'll grab the sofa."

"No, Daniel. Sofa is fine. I'll take the sofa."

"Rorschach, the sofa isn't as comfortable. Your back will be killing you by morning."

"Better than a park bench. What about your back, Daniel?"

"What the-park bench?! You're taking the goddamn bed. End of discussion."

Walter followed Daniel to his bedroom as Daniel readied it for him and gave him the smallest pair of pajamas he owned.