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Standard Disclaimer Applies.
…TEC…
"I think you're making the right choice, man." Emmett said as I sat in front of his desk, I just nodded silently and tugged a hand through my hair. "So we'll be moving Riley out of your place and into Mike's tomorrow," He shuffled some papers around on his desk, transferring the case and Newton practically vibrated with excitement in the chair next to me.
"You're a grown man. Calm the fuck down." I hissed under my breath, he smiled smugly at me.
"He, why are your panties in a bunch, Masen? Everybody's happy right? I get the glory and you keep your family. Win win right?" He smirked and I clenched the side of my seat. Emmett looked up at us and sent me a look that clearly told me to calm down.
"Everybody's happy." I agreed tersely.
"Alright, Masen. You're dismissed for now, I'll finish up the paper work with Newton and you spend some time with the family. You have a week off." I stood and we gave each other nods before I took off towards my car. Mike and I had basically just switched roles, I would have to work a few office hours and then Tanya and I would stay around his place during dark hours. My new phone vibrated spastically in my pocket once I reached the car. Bella had completely demolished the other one in the doctor's office.
"What the hell did you just do?" Tanya's voice screamed into the speaker.
"Transferred the cause to Newton." I said before sticking the key into the ignition of the car and pulling off.
"Why would you do that? You realize he'll get all of the credit for what you did, right?"
"I do."
"What is your issue?"
"I don't have an issue Tanya. There are just something's I have to do, alright? I'm still on the case; I have to interrogate the fuckers that broke into my house. And work nights with you at Mike's." I explained before tugging my hand through my hair. A text made the phone vibrate against my cheek.
Get lots of eggs. And cookies.
I sighed and pulled off of my track to head to the grocery store.
"So, what is this really about Edward? Is it Bella?" I rolled my eyes. Yes it was about Bella, and the kids, but that was none of her fucking business.
"Look I have to go Tanya. See you next week." I hung up and stood from the car heading in to the store and buying the things that Bella had requested. It'd been a week since Bella's doctor's appointment and our talk. Later that day she had packed small bags for the kids and herself and went to Emmett's. It hurt to see them walk out, but in the end it was the best thing, for her and the kids. Alec and I had the entire house to ourselves, and used the space well, almost never coming in contact with each other.
It was the loneliest week of my life.
And the quietest.
I missed my family. I missed Ellie calling Alice a whore and teaching Seth to do the same. I missed Bella's loud, smart mouth and hugging her as I slept. I missed Seth waking up in the middle of the night, even though he was too old to still not be sleeping, and his wet open mouthed kisses.
I saw them every day though, not as much as I would have liked to… Every night when Tanya and Mike showed up I headed up to Emmett's, so that I could see my family.
My phone buzzed as I went through the checkout line and I squinted at it.
And toelet paper.
Toelet paper?
I rolled my eyes and got a pack of Angel Soft, making my way through the line and heading down to my brother in laws. He didn't live too far making the nightly comute a short one. When I pulled into his drive way Ellie was on the porch bundled up next to a little boy around her age. I was going to have to ask Bella why she never had any girl friends.
"Daddy!" She squealed before running to me and wrapping her arms around my waist, she sneakily grabbed the bags and ran back to the porch.
"Ellie wait, watch out there are eggs in there."
"I know!" She giggled before darting through the house. I sighed and walked up to the porch, seeing Bella's cell phone lying next to where Ellie and her friend had been sitting. The screen had chocolate on it, I picked it up and pocketed it. I walked in to see Seth sitting in his play pen in front of the TV watching reruns of The Real Housewives of Orange County, while screaming at the fighting women. He stood and reached up for me when he was aware of my presence. I lifted him from the crib and he squealed with happiness upon seeing me and slobbered on my cheek as a kiss.
"Where's Mommy, Buddy?" I asked before pressing a kiss to his forehead.
"Mama wif Roe." My eyes widened at his answer, the question had been rhetorical due to my son's lack of vocabulary. Or assumed lack of vocabulary.
"Aren't you smart, kid!" I said before peppering his soft face with kissed.
"Hey, Edward." There was the telltale sign of someone flopping down onto the couch behind me. I turned to see Bella staring at the TV behind me. If it were possible she looked more beautiful than the last time I saw her. It could have been the fact that her cheek wasn't the size of my fist anymore. The dentist had fixed her tooth and cheek up quickly.
"Hey, Baby." I said quietly in response, Seth wrapped his little arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. "How do you feel?" Rosalie had told me that her morning sickness had gotten significantly worse as she progressed farther into her pregnancy. I sat next to her on the couch and threw my free arm over the back.
"How was your day?" I sat Seth in my lap and pulled her closer, laying a kiss on her temple.
"It was alright," She relaxed under my arm and blushed when I kissed her ear.
"I just transferred the papers for the case today." She actually looked at me when I spoke this time. I ducked my head so that I could press a kiss to her neck. She sighed and her breath ghosted down my cheek. I trailed my lips from the base of her neck up to her jaw before finally meeting her lips.
"So what's going to happen with Riley?" She asked before pulling away and taking Seth to his playpen. He went in easily every time, unlike Ellie who fought tooth and nail to stay out of the mesh prison. My boy was content to watch those housewives peacefully. I frowned and picked up the remote, flipping to football.
I leaned against the couch throwing my arms onto the back of it, "He's staying with Newton from now on. He'll be gone by tomorrow." She pushed my spread legs together and straddled me. "So you can come home… tonight."
She sniffled and pressed our mouths together, cupping my face. "I didn't want it to go this far…" She whispered against my lips.
"I'm sorry it did." She nodded and mouthed me too.
"I love you." My hands drifted down to cup her ass and pull her closer to me. Pressing out bodies flush together she gasped into my mouth. It had been the most affection that we'd shown towards each other since I had gotten back from Chicago. I was getting less action than Charlie. How'd I know this? He called the house phone asking me about the effects of Viagra two days ago. Why he called me, I'll never know.
"I love you too, Baby. I miss you." I whispered into her neck as I held her to me.
"I know," I furrowed my eyebrows and she chuckled. "I missed you more." There was the sound of clacking heels before Rose let out a gargling noise.
"Oh… I heard you in here- I uh- I didn't assume this was going to be a mushy moment." I looked up to see her backing out of the room. "I didn't know you two had those." Her voice faded away before she squeaked from another room and rushed back in. "You two…" She lifted Seth from his playpen and left us with, "Don't jizz on my couch."
"We have our own couch to jizz on." Bella called back before smiling brightly and kissing me.
"That means you're coming back today… right?" She bit her lip.
"Maybe we should wait until Riley is out of the house to come back." She leaned back on my lap.
"You'll be fine. Tanya and Mike are coming by again. And it will give you and Riley a chance to have one last girl talk."
"I don't have girl talks, Edward." She shook her head and stood pulling me up with her. "We'll come back though." I grinned triumphantly, "Did you see Ellie today?"
"She brought in the groceries for you."
"What groceries?" She asked before pulling her hair out of the pony tail and redoing it. I fisted my hands in her sweater and pulled her towards me, wrapping my arms around her again.
"The ones you texted-" I stopped, remembering Bella's phone on the porch and the toelet paper.
And Cookies.
I should have known from the cookies.
Bella lifted an eyebrow at me, before throwing her arms over my shoulders. I rested my forehead against hers and pecked her lips. "Where is she?"
"Ellie? She's out back with um…" Her finger snapped next to my head and she bit her lip. "Jared! Yeah Jared and some of the other kids from the neighborhood." I pulled away grabbing her hand and dragging her to the window. My eyes widened at the sight. Toilet paper and white stuff, I'm assuming eggs, were strewn across the yard. The discarded cartons lay on the lawn haphazardly and wet gross looking children ran about in different states of disarray.
"This is why we don't let Ellie have friends." Bella grimaced and shook her head before pushing the opening half of the window to the side and ducking through it. She jumped into the bushes and landed on her feet before snatching one of the random kids out of the way of an egg.
"That was so badass of you Bella." I said faking a lisp as she looked proud of slipping out of a first floor window.
"You're on clean up duty, Masen." She yelled back at me. I shook my head and went to the coat closet pulling my coat on and tucking it under my arm. After grabbing the appropriate supplies needed to clean eggs off of seven year olds I headed out side to see that the egg war was still going on. I shut the patio door and searched for Bella when her voice came from behind me.
"I thought you were going to stop this." I pointed at the kids still running around and handed her the coat.
"I had to pee." She smiled sweetly. Then she put her fingers to her mouth and let out a loud, unsweet whistle. Making me flinch and all of the chaos in the yard freeze. About ten pairs of little eyes looked up at us guiltily.
"Everybody drop your eggs." There was a simultaneous splat and I groaned, knowing I'd be the one cleaning that. Bella continued, "You will all clean this up and go home. Understand?" I looked around tuning Bella's terse voice out as I took in the fact that there was only one other little girl in Bella's audience.
One butch little girl.
"Where are all of the little girls?"
"We don't have time for you to go all pedo-bear, Edward. We need to clean this." Bella said before she back handed my chest. I flinched, I don't know if Bella lifts weights in her free time or what because good god she was heavy handed.
"Hey Mommy!" Ellie screamed before popping out of the window in the tree house that I didn't know Rose and Emmett had.
A little boy, the same one from the porch yelled, "Suck eggs!" Next to her and launched a large egg at the two of us. I took a quick step to the side and an egg his Bella in the shoulder, breaking and sending the contents into Bella's hair and the side of her face. Ellie's entire face dropped, her mouth falling into a shocked 'O' before her eyes widened in fright and she punched the little boy next to her.
She yelled. "Are you stupid? They'll probably make me sleep up here now!" Bella swiped the sticky substance from her face before glaring across the yard until she reached me. I held up my hands.
A sign clearly saying: I didn't do anything.
"What was that? You just casually move out of the way and leave me to get nailed!" She growled, I held up a towel and she snatched it from me.
"Ellie! Get down here now!" Bella yelled up to the tree house, where Ellie laid into the little boy angrily with the occasional smack on the arm. Ellie glared at the boy before coming down from the tree house and standing guiltily at our feet.
"I'm sorry, Mommy." She looked at us from under her lashes and pouted a bit. "I love you."
"Love you too." Bella squatted in front of our daughter and hugged her. "I want all of this cleaned." She said in her ear.
"Okay here's how this is going to work." I said loudly, commanding the attention of all the little bastard children.
I wouldn't say it to their faces!
I pointed out two boys and butch-eena, "You three get cleaned up, by Mrs. Masen." I shifted all of the towels towards Bella. "The rest of you will be picking up toilet paper." I went to the hose and started spraying the eggs out of Rosalie's snow covered lawn. We had a nice little operation running, Bella cleaned hands and faces and whatever else, while I supervised. When the kids had picked up the toilet paper and egg shells up I would run over the newly cleaned grass with the hose, getting all egg remnants out of the grass. After the yard was egg and Angel Soft free I helped Bella clean kids.
Ellie sat in my lap as I wiped her hands and face, "What would make you do something like this? It's not even your house, Ellie."
"If anything you should be proud of me, Daddy." She smiled and patted my cheek with her clean hand.
"Why is that?"
"We made a good choice to play outside." She nodded and I blanched at the killer that would have been Rosalie if they'd done all of this in her house.
"You did. Why did you do this at all? That wasn't only a mental waste but a financial one too." Ellie slapped her hands against her thighs and looked put out.
"You know what Daddy? I'm seven! I don't know big words. Five letter max, Daddy. Five letter max." She shook her head incredulously and I couldn't help but to laugh.
"It was a waste of money. Don't do anything like this again. Ever." Her eyes widened and she hugged my neck.
"Am I in trouble?" She asked.
"Uh… Yeah." Bella said next to me as she cleaned off the little boy from the porch.
"Ellie?" She looked at me curiously.
"Why don't you have any friends that are girls?"
"I don't want to end up with an Alice." I snorted as we both surveyed the crowd of munchkins. "Am I going to be grounded?"
"Yes, ma'am." I nodded.
Ellie turned her large eyed gaze on me, "I love you, Daddy." I shook my head, "It was worth a try." She grimaced and there was a shriek from inside of the house. I turned to see my son standing, no… waddle running, towards the see through screen door, in nothing but his birthday suit. Rose stood behind him smiling happily.
"Look!" She yelled, Seth winced at the noise and fell onto his butt. Bella all but pushed the little egg launcher out of her lap before getting up to go to Seth, with tears in her eyes.
Bella wailed as she picked up Seth, "They grow up so fast!" She cried into his hair.
"You still have to put a diaper on him, Bella." Rose said holding one out, "He's not growing up that fast."
I looked over to see one of Ellie's friends looking into his pants, "His is bigger than mines!" I smirked, in a non-pedophile way.
It's a Masen thing.
…TEC…
I hope you laughed and/or enjoyed!
Just thought I'd lighten things up from last chapter…
Still working on the Baby details, hang in there!
Who would have thought it'd take Edward an entire week to pull his head out of his ass… *shakes head*
Alrighty, well if we get to 670 I'll update tomorrow!
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