Sorry for not updating in awhile! I was out of town for a martial arts tournament and ended up getting my finger broken at the tournament. With it being taped up to my other finger it makes it really hard to type, and cramps my hand up (that's also the reason for this chapter being shorter) I'll try my best to start updating regularly again. Thank you to everyone who continues to support this story!

10 years ago

"Run that by me again? No! I want that moved over there! I want them dropped there!" Rafe pulled his cellphone away from his ear to shout at the man lifting steel beams with a crane. He shoved his pointer finger in his ear to better hear whomever he was talking to on the other line.

I watched Rafe warily while carrying Holden, trying to keep him calm. I wish the three of us didn't have to be dragged all the way to the construction site. The noise and crowds made Holden fussy and gave me a headache. Being on the site made Rafe stressed and irritable, plus having his young son whining made him extra snippy. I coddled Holden, cursing Regina Adler for making us attend. I had to pee so bad my full bladder was making my lower abdomen ache horribly all the way up my gut.

"Mama, mama…" Holden whimpered, gazing up at me with his anxious grey eyes. The clangs of metal, beeping vehicles, and men shouting almost drowned him out. Even with the limited speech of a one year old I knew he was hungry.

I'd much rather be lounging in the hotel we were staying at. We were in California for Christ's sake, I should be at the beach with Holden; he loves water. I cursed my monster-in-law countlessly in my head, along with my full bladder. I couldn't take it any longer, if I waited I would piss all over myself and that would "embarrass" the Adler household. I walked over to Rafe, carrying Holden with me. Rafe was pacing around, switching back and forth between yelling into his cellphone and at the workers around us. He saw me coming toward him and cast me a look, warning me to leave him be. At this moment I didn't care, I had to relieve myself.

"Rafe, can you please take him for a minute?" I asked. He didn't hear me; he kept speaking angrily into his cellphone, "Rafe." I pressed again.

"Dani, can this wait?" He clipped.

I sighed in frustration, wanting to rip Rafe's phone from his hands. I would bring Holden in the bathroom, but that would be a hassle.

"I really have to use the bathroom, can you take Holden for a minute, please?"

"Really, Danielle?" He huffed, clearly annoyed.

"Yes, Rafe, I've been holding it for hours," I handed Holden over to him; he took his son awkwardly from under the armpits. He'd been a dad for a year and he was still flustered about parenting.

Holden squirmed for a moment, muttering 'daddy' as Rafe adjusted his grip and put his cellphone away. Holden appeared fascinated by one of the forklifts in the distance, pointing at it with his little fingers, getting Rafe's attention. I smiled at the two of them and headed in the direction of the restroom (a nice roomy porta potty). I closed the doors behind me and waited for sweet relief to come. I admit I took a little longer in the bathroom then I needed to, I would've been in there longer if shouting from outside didn't erupt my privacy. I opened the door to see what the commotion is all about, and noticed Rafe speaking frantically to two workers, and that Holden wasn't with him. I walked over to them, already feeling a sense of panic set in.

"What's going on?" I asked in a hollow voice, glancing back and forth between Rafe and the construction workers.

"Listen, I had a very important call come in, so I put down Holden for a second, and when I turned around he was gone," Rafe spoke with a nervous jumble of words.

"You lost him?" My voice came out weak. "How could you-"

"He's around here somewhere, I just put him down for a minute," Rafe added quickly. I could see sweat already breaking out on his forehead.

"Oh my God…" I placed my hands on my temples, starting to feel terribly antsy. "I-I mean, how could you lose him? Why weren't you watching him, Rafe?" I couldn't help the shakiness in my voice.

"Dammit, Dani, we'll find him okay?" He suddenly erupted, gripping my shoulders a little too tightly.

A spark of maternal instinct mixed with anger must have crossed my face, because I saw Rafe appear a little taken aback, and he let go. I was angry with him, he let work get in the way of his family again. Now Holden was loose on a dangerous construction site. Despite my intense irritation my thoughts raced wildly, but I couldn't come up with a solid solution to finding Holden.

"Mr. and Mrs. Adler, I see your son!" One of the workers shouted from a few feet away, pointing ahead.

Sure enough, there was Holden several meters away. He was hobbling toward the forklift, his hands outstretched in wonderment. His chunky little infant legs led him directly under where the steel beams were being lifted… right onto the drop zone. Seeing Rafe's face drain into a sickly pallid color made my panic increase tenfold.

Rafe suddenly broke out into a run, dropping his phone. He waved his arms like a maniac. "HEY! DON'T DROP THOSE BEAMS!" Rafe screamed, still sprinting frantically toward Holden while trying to get the attention of the crane driver. Holden waddled along without a care in the world.

I ran after Rafe as the realization of impending doom dawned on me. I flapped my arms like a bird trying to take flight, trying with all my might to get the crane operator's attention.

"HOLDEN!" I bellowed shrilly.

Holden heard me; he stopped and turned to stare at me. He appeared curious as to why his parents were running at him and flinging their arms around. But he didn't try and walk back toward us; he remained in the same dangerous position.

"DON'T DROP THE BEAMS!" Rafe hollered again, dashing like mad, but the operator pushed the release button, not hearing us shout desperately at him.

Time slowed down as the crane dropped the steel beams. My breath hitched as I watched the beams fall and saw that Rafe was still running and wouldn't make it in time. Holden looked up last minute before disappearing and being buried under the debris.

I jolted up from bed. I was drenched in sweat as I labored to take shallow breaths. As the vision of the dark hotel room materialized I started to calm down, remembering where I was. I felt Sam's arm slung around my waist, and heard him breathing deeply in his sleep. I buried my face in my trembling hands, feeling the warmth of tears already stained on my cheeks. I kept my movement at a minimum, not wanting to wake up Sam. Explaining this to him would be impossible. A decade later and Holden's death still gripped me like a hand wringing my neck.

I ran my fingers through my newly cut hair, waiting for my heart rate to return to normal. Feeling Sam's arm on me gradually brought back all the memories of last night. I would've thought it was a dream if I didn't wake up next to him.

He had loved me with a perfect mixture of gentleness and rough lust. His lips had explored nearly every inch of my body (even in between my legs). His calloused hands felt incredible against my own softer skin. He didn't push me or pull my hair, or forced his tongue down my throat like Rafe did. No, Sam was different. This was what I assumed would be described as pleasure, it felt good being with him, it felt natural. Rafe had been the only man I had ever been with so I didn't have much of a comparison, nor would I ever imagine myself having a one-night stand, but it didn't feel wrong.

Even with our love making last night my thoughts still were pinned on Holden, Simmons, and Rafe. Simmons was gaining on me; I could feel it, why else would he send me such a grim reminder? And Rafe… it was possible that one of the Shoreline soldier's ratted me out. If he found out I was here then that would be it. I didn't need another hassle with him and the Adler family.

The early sunrays crept through the window blinds, starting to flood my hotel room. Sleep escaped me, not that it was surprising after the dream I just had. I just laid in my bed, staring out the window and listening to Sam sleep. That was another thing Rafe didn't do after we had sex: he never spooned with me. Sam and I had remained embraced tightly together as the two of us drifted off to sleep. I could hear Nate's alarm clock droning next door for a moment. Nate and Sully would be waking up and realize Sam was missing. Great.

I delicately moved Sam's arm off of myself and got out of bed. I went to quickly gather my discarded clothes and went to put them on. I heard Sam rustling in the bed, sighing deeply in his sleep.

"Hey there," I heard Sam greet me dreamily. I was just picking up my bra and tank top from the floor.

I could feel blush heating up my face, almost bringing myself to cover up my naked body but I stopped. It wasn't anything he hadn't seen before. I smiled shyly at him as I started to put my bra on.

"Your brother and Victor are waking up now. We'll have to leave for a pier soon." I told him.

Sam kept his eyes on me, a sleepy smile spreading on his face.

"What?" I asked, smiling back. "You remembered to rent the boat right?"

"Of course," he replied confidently, sitting up to stretch. I noticed the hickies on his bird tattoo, sticking out like a sore thumb. I felt a rush of embarrassment again, knowing that it would be easily noticed.

"Let's not keep them waiting," I added, pulling my tank top over my head.