Kunsel: Welcome back folks to another episode of Cirque De Shinra! This time we have a special guest star, please welcome celebrity Axel Flame!
Axel: *Jogs onto stage waving and blowing kisses to the audience, takes a seat next to Genesis.* It's good to be here with all these heroes and not-so-heroes. I'm a big fan of all of you, got it memorized?
Genesis: Why must he sit next to me?
Angeal: *sigh* Quit complaining Genesis.
Kunsel: And here's our first question! Addressed to our Crimson Commander!
Question: Genesis can I marry you? And stop angsting about being a monster! You're not!
Genesis: May I just start by saying you have excellent taste, but unfortunately I am not looking to commit right now sweetie. But if you were looking for something a little less permanent…
Kunsel: AND do you have anything to say about that last bit?
Genesis: *waves hand dismissively* have no fear, little dove. I have long since made peace with what I am. But I thank you for your support.
Rufus: Do you have to talk like an idiot all the time? Can you speak in this century?
Genesis: As you can see, jealously is the ugliest trait.
Rufus: Yes, I am obviously so terribly jealous of a person who gets thrown onto a battlefield with the threat of dying everyday. In fact, I sit in my hot tub at night with two Playboy bunnies on each side and sob over the jealously I feel for you.
Genesis: That would explain the abundance of wrinkles on your skin.
Kunsel: TIME FOR OUR NEXT QUESTION! This is addressed to everyone's favorite chocobo haired buddy Cloud Strife!
Question: How do you feel about the Sephiroth/Cloud yaoi fanfiction?
Cloud: *chuckles nervously* I…um…think some of them are well-written. EXCEPT FOR THE RAPE FICS! Those scare me.
Zack: SEPHIROTH YOU'RE RAPING CLOUD!?
Sephiroth:…Angeal, it is only out of respect for you that I have not impaled the Puppy already.
Angeal: And I thank you. Zack, Sephiroth is not raping anyone. They were referring to fiction stories.
Zack: *looks at camera, horrified* YOU ARE SICK PEOPLE!
Kunsel: NEXT QUESTION! Oh, this one goes to our guest star Axel Flame and our red-haired TURK Reno Sinclair!
Question: Are you guys long lost brothers?
Axel: *looks at Reno*
Reno: *looks at Axel*
Both: We have no idea.
Genesis: Gods, I hope not. I can barely stand one idiotic redhead around here.
Reno: Now you know how the rest of us feel, yo. At least I don't try to kill everyone with that LOVELESS shit.
Axel: Is he always this damn mean? And I know mean, I live with Xemans got it memorized?
Rufus: Yes, but the rudeness comes from his oversized ego.
Kunsel: FOCUS ON THE QUESTIONS! Ok the next question is addressed to…me?
Question: What color is your hair Kunsel? Because everyone has different ideas what it looks like. Signed, Genesis R.
*awkward silence*
Genesis: What? I'm curious. So little chickabo, what color is your hair?
Rufus: You are such a pedophile.
Genesis: Don't flatter yourself. I don't like annoying spoiled rich boys.
Rufus: You realized you just described yourself right?
Genesis: Coming from a small town where if you have over 500 gil you are considered rich doesn't count.
Tseng: Sir, should we not let Kunsel answer the question?
Kunsel: Uh, it's kind a dirty blonde mixed with a little orange. Think of sand mixed with Doritos cheese.
Genesis: Adorable!
Rufus: Pedophile.
Kunsel: NEXT QUESTION! This is addressed to Reno yet again!
Question: Reno, will you go out with me? Signed lilith dracul.
Reno: *smiles and folds arms behind his head* Sure babe. What time you wanna do this yo?
Kadaj: Man whore. You don't even know who that is.
Reno: Doesn't matter yo. I know a pretty lady when I hear one.
Rufus: How did he end up as second in command?
Tseng: He is the most agile TURK in the history of TURKs. No, the second most agile. Mr. Valentine holds that title.
Vincent:….it is of no concern to me.
Reno: Whatever, how am I supposed to compete with a vampire yo?
Kunsel: And we will move onto our next question! This one is addressed to Elena!
Question: Elena, are you and Rufus related? Because you look like you could be.
Elena: No, I don't believe we are.
Rufus: We aren't. Don't ask again.
Genesis: So pushy.
Angeal: Genesis…stop it.
Kunsel: And the last question of the show! This is addressed to….all of us.
Question: What would you do if a cat girl has broken into the Shinra Tower and is headed towards the new set…? Signed, Security Personnel.
Rufus: YOU WOULD BE FIRED!
*loud shouting could be heard off camera*
Genesis: I DO NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS AGAIN!
*A girl with fluffy ears and tail comes bounding onto the set and latches onto Reno*
Reno: AHH! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON YO!
Genesis: *has fallen onto the ground and is laughing so hard tears are coming out of his eyes*
Kadaj: Ha! That's what you deserve!
Cat girl: I LOVE YOU RENO! *purring*
Hojo: Such a fascinating specimen…
Reno: Uh, thanks yo. But ya gotta let go alright? *gestures to Rude to get the cat girl off*
Rude: *sighs, moves to grab the cat girl from behind*
Cat girl: MINE! *Grabs Reno and drags him off set and into the hall*
Reno: HEY WHY ARE YOU JUST SITTIN' THERE! HELP ME YO!
*long pause*
All: *breaks out in laughter*
Kunsel: *wiping tears from his eyes* Tune in next time to Cirque De Shinra!
Author's Note: Heh, I have to thank lilith dracul for unintentionally giving me the cat girl idea. And a big THANK YOU to all of you who are reviewing and sending in questions! I feel I need to explain some things. The Cloud in this is Cadet Cloud, Rufus is still the Vice President. Genesis, Angeal, and Sephiroth did all go crazy but for this story's sake let's just say they were healed and went back to work. THE REMNANTS ARE HERE TOO! I know I didn't need to scream that, but they are some of my favorite characters. Especially Kadaj and Loz. So continue to read and send in questions for your favorite characters! Next guest star will be….DANTE! Of Devil May Cry. Ok? Great! Now I'm off to work on another story that I must update. Until next time!