PHEW! This took so long to do! I think I added too much feeling, to the point where I had to collapse. Is that a good thing, I wonder?

Oh... I'm back in this place again! thought Keiko as she softly landed in a fluff ball of snow. It was cold, but at the same time, it wasn't freezing her to death. Checking out her surroundings, a slight whiff brushed her cheek.

When she turned, she was face-to-face with God.

"Milord, how do you do?" she curtsied, bending her knees and raising the tips of an invisible skirt. She was wearing jeans, after all.

"Keiko! How delighted I am to see you! Tell me! How is your time with Ren, no... Kuon?" he stepped back and gave his best grin. His eyes fell upon her deadpan face. "Dear, don't give me that look. Of course I know that Tsuruga Ren is actually Hizuri Kuon. Have you forgotten who I am?"

She immediately shook her head. That's not what she meant! But, still, she thought of everyone to be equal. Ever since she was blind, her sight of how respect was was never for authority. Just to be nice to this person; be polite; and say "san" if they were older or her "senpai". Not like she ever understood what all that meant. If anything, she found it ridiculous. Or maybe that was because not all of her victims lived in Japan. Most were in the States or Canada. Sometimes China! But really rarely were they ever in Japan.

I wonder why?

"...ko? Keiko?"

She blinked at the waving hand in front of her. "I'm sorry, I was spacing out."

"Ah, no worries. You are an honest girl; I like that. Most people say they were thinking on how to help humans, just so I won't be angry at them. Sometimes, the truth is always the key." He bent down and took Keiko's hands. She was startled at this, thinking that someone like him shouldn't even bend down to her. Tsuki showed her many films with royalty, and God was considered more than an exception. Heck, he was the one that made everything possible!

"Keiko, dear, you seem to be struggling; that worries me a lot. Is it that man, your victim, that is making you show these awful emotions?"

She stared back at him as his warm fingers touched the palm of her hand. They soon gripped her hands tightly. "Keiko, answer me; is he? If so, then do what you must with him. Have you forgotten the job of a shinigami?"

"No, sir," she shook her head. Her eyes clouded as a memory of the rule appeared in her head. Her hair floated up, and everything seemed to become her light. "Shinigamis must give a human happiness before they die. They are also able to give up that person's life if they think they don't deserve it. If a human survives for at least a year, which is rare, that person..."

"Yes? What happens to that person?"

"That person is visited by the Grim Reaper* and he is the one who decides whether or not he or she is worthy enough to live."

"Exactly, dear. So far, almost all of the victims you and Tsuki have only lasted a month or less. Two months is a big achievement. I wonder if you can last up to a year."

In a far away land, there lived a family of three, and three shinigamis. One blind shinigami, however, was often the cause of pain in that house, as she couldn't remember the wonderful times she had with the family of three. So, the youngest son, who was deeply in love with her, tried his best to bring back her memories. It worked once, but it all was in vain as she forgot once more.

Now, as a different person with sight, she can see how the world is like. If only she would open her eyes and ears to hear...

"Can you just hear me out? What Shira said wasn't true!"

"Right, like I should listen to you! I thought you loved me for me!"

"I do! Why do you thin-"

"Forget it! It makes sense! Since Keiko doesn't love you, you switch to me: a person who's already in love with you. That's just sick! I thought you were different than Crésho, but you are the same! You're both jerks!"

"I-"

"Shut up, would you? Can't you see that Keiko is sleeping?" Ren looked up at the bickering couple. He then looked down at the hand that was holding Keiko's. "I have no idea what you two are talking about, but just make up or take your argument elsewhere."

They stood still, but they didn't seem to want to do either of what Ren suggested.

However, it was Tsuki that broke it. "I... Whatever Shira said, it wasn't true."

"But-! It all makes sense why you would suddenl-"

"I fell in love with Kyoko because she had the same experience as you. You both had a broken heart, and you had a hard time with your family." He gripped his fist. "You would sometimes cry about your parents not loving you in your sleep, but when you woke up, you forgot all about it."

"I... My parents didn't love me?"

This pricked Kuu's heart, as he suddenly remembered his sister, how she always was hurt by the fact that their parents hated her. That's why when Kyoko suddenly cried when she saw kindness during the act, he felt for her. He knew what it was like to be disliked by your parents, even if he wasn't the one that felt it.

I wonder where Vera is now. Or should I call her Vi-

"Vidka, I'm so sorry."

Huh? Did he just say-? Kuu glanced up and stared at his supposed dead son. Did he just say Vidka?

"I know you don't remember," he continued, "but you were always mumbling it in your sleep. I was afraid there might be a slight chance of you gaining your memories back. And if you did," he gulped, "I don't want that stupid rule where shinigamis have to kill themselves to happen to you."

Touched by this, Vidka felt her tears choking. Not wanting to cry, she tried to hold them, but when she saw Tsuki spread his arms, asking for forgiveness, she forgot about her weakness and ran into his arms.

"Tsuki! I'm *hic* sorry!" she cried against his shoulder. Feeling his arms tight on her waist, she couldn't help but smile through her tears. "I guess I was stupid to feel jealous, huh?"

"No, you weren't," Tsuki stroke down her back. "The fact that you were jealous proves that you love me. Don't worry, you're forgiven if you forget about what happened."

"Oh..." She blushed and looked up at his eyes. Why were they always drowning her? There must be something wrong with her, or maybe there was something wrong with love itself. "Yes, I will forgive and forget."

"That took long, didn't it?" she said, after they left the room. Julie drank some tea. Her eyes were trained onto the clock as it said: 00:12. It was already past midnight as the three waited for Keiko to wake up.

"Well, when a couple has a misunderstanding, it could take a while," laughed Ren. He looked down at Keiko's peaceful face as she continue to sleep. It wasn't like last time, where it looked like she was a lifeless shell. She was still warm, but just asleep.

As the three waited, Julie and Ren suddenly realized something. Kuu didn't even talk yet. He didn't even complain that he was hungry like he usually did. Then again, when one of Lory's maid asked what he wanted, he just said an apple. An apple! For a guy with the power of 50 hungry soldiers? What's going on?

The two eyed suspiciously at him when he was only half way done the apple. The side where he ate 2 hours ago was beginning to brown, looking quite unappealing.

Wondering what happened, Ren thought it might have been because of Tsuki's appearance with the necklace.

"Um... Dad? I'm sorry if that was the necklace you were looking for. I just happened to find it when-" he stopped. When he paused, he noticed his dad wasn't even listening to a word he said. He just continued to eat his apple, slow as a snail, and rested his occupied hand with the fruit on his thigh once in a while.

"Dad?" Ren left Keiko's side, even though he wished for himself to stay, and waved a hand in his father's vision. "Earth to Dad, are you there?"

Apparently not, since he didn't even blink. When a lock of hair fell in front of his eyes, he didn't even blew it away or swept it back up like he usually does.

Julie suddenly got apprehensive. She jerked herself at him and shook hard. "HONEY! WAKE UP!" When she was done, Kuu muttered, as if he was asleep with his eyes open, and looked as if he was opening his eyes for the first time.

"Eh? What happened?" he asked.

"What happened? What happened? We were calling out to you and you were spacing out! What on earth were you think of? Could it be Tsuki? I understand that he could be Uriel but-"

"I wasn't thinking of that. Well, I was thinking of it when I saw the necklace, but... I suddenly was thinking of Vidka."

"Huh? Why Vidka?" Ren bent to his father's seated level and touched his forehead, same with his own. "You seem fine... are you feeling okay?" he asked. "Why would you think of her when this was the first time you seen her?"

Kuu furrowed his eyebrows, showing the most worried look the two ever seen. "My... my sister's name was... Vera. At some point, she wanted to change it to Vidka." He slid his vision to see the two's surprised looks. "You... Kuon, once told me that shinigamis were once humans that committed suicide. Well, my sister also," he choked on his words, "she also... also..." He couldn't finish, but they both knew what he was trying to say.

"Your... sister did that? Why? Why didn't you tell me?" Julie gripped onto his arms. She forced him to look at her. "I- I thought you trusted me enough to tell me your secrets! If it hurts so much just to think about it, talk to me, or Kuon, and we'll help you forget about i-"

"HOW CAN I FORGET?.!" He gripped his fists and hit his forehead. "I... if only I helped her! If only I came to that cliff sooner! If- if I knew how much she... she found life meaningless, I would have proven her wrong. But... but I-! She... she..."

His face was covered by his large hands. He was crying. "She stopped feeling sad for five months. I thought she forgot about how she hated our parents but... she was faking it the whole time. She didn't want to worry anyone. She didn't even think that she could rely on me."

"Dad... I... I don't know what to say." Ren was surprised to find out that a member of his family did commit suicide, his never known aunt, but...

"Why didn't she think she could rely on you?" Julie asked. She was shaken at this. She couldn't help it. It was always scary to hear about someone willingly giving up their lives, thinking that they could escape all of their worries.

Kuu sucked sharply and sadly smiled at his wife. "There... there was a time when she was angry, and she wrote down all of her thoughts of life on a school-wide essay. She wasn't thinking properly, so she didn't know that someone would read it, thinking that she needed to go see the counselor right away. She was even visited by a shrink!" He pretended to laugh. "The way she viewed life, she found it nothing special. If life was wonderful, why did it had to end at some point, she thought?"

"She even told the shrink she once saw this dream where she met this man with wings, and she fell in love with him. He was the only person that was willing to be her friend when we were kids. She even started to see him outside of her dreams."

He laughed. "Until she entered high school, she stopped seeing him, but she could still hear his voice. He... stopped acting like a friend. He... always whispered about how life was terrible. He even altered her life, making her bitter towards people. Even with our parents hating her already, they got angrier when they got a call from our school counselor. It was embarrassing for them."

"She... she soon stopped hearing the man after she told the shrink everything. He told her that he must have been created when she was lonely. She thought that if she believed him, he would go away."

"He didn't, did he?" said Julie. She touched his arm lightly. "Did he come back, in her dreams I mean."

"Yes, he did," he nodded. "But... she told me that she stopped listening to him. She told my parents also, but... they still hated her. They kept saying that she was a disgrace to them. I don't know whether or not it was their dislike, the beatings, or that man, but... she soon found a cliff one day at our vacation home. It... was the perfect place for her to die, she must have thought. There was no way for someone to fall down to ever survive the fall."

"I... when I finally found a way to go down that cliff, after she died, I saw a thick stalagmite sticking out from her back. It was... gruesome. Her... blood was splattered everywhere." Kuu wiped his tears. He soon showed a glassy look. "I... I can't forgive myself. My parents didn't care that she died. They were actually happy for her death. Finally, the disgrace of the family is dead, and our son, Kuu, can make us proud; they were probably thinking that."

"Dad... you don't have to talk anymore. We get it, so please, don't force yourself. I'm sure that-"

"Son, the reason why I took up acting is because I love it, and because Vera was the only one that supported me. My parents wanted me to be successful as a lawyer, but it wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want a job where I would hate it every single day. Vera knew that, and she always wanted me to find opportunities to do acting. Now that she's gone, I want to act so she can be proud of me. And... now that there's a possibility that I get to see her again... I don't know what to do."

"Then talk to her."

HUH? The three Hizuris turned to see Keiko standing up in front of them. Her bare feet were pale against the tiled floor, but they stood their ground as she folded her arms. "I... I'm sorry for eavesdropping, but... I think that just telling your family isn't enough. You have to tell the actual person how you actually feel, or you can't move on."

"But I-!"

Keiko held her hand. "I know I shouldn't be one to talk, as I don't even know anything about families, but... I would feel more at ease if you told her. And don't worry," she smiled, "she won't kill herself if she hears this from her brother."

"But... I'm afraid she won't accept me." Kuu lowered his head. "There's even Tsuki, who's actually my son, who I'm afraid for him to hate me."

Keiko didn't look surprised at him admitting it, and she still kept her smile. "Then why don't you say that to them?"

"Huh?"

She looked at the door, and grinned some more. "I can feel your presences, you two. You can come in, if you want."

And, as if on cue, the two shinigamis opened the door. They were behind the door the whole time.

"We're sorry for doing that... but I overheard Vidka's name and..." Tsuki flustered.

Vidka bit her lips and whispered to them all, "Are you really my brother?"

He hesitated, but Kuu nodded. "Yes, and... Tsuki is Kuon's twin." He blushed, not thinking he would openly say that aloud.

He was soon tumbled onto the ground as she cried. "BROTHER! I MISSED YOU *hic* SO MUCH!"

Not wasting a nanosecond, he hugged her tightly. "I missed you, too, Vera. Or is it Vidka now?"

"Either one is fine, but you can call me Vera, I don't mind much now," and she smiled. She didn't retrieve all of her memories, but hearing him say his story made her remember a lot, especially how she died.

Keiko smiled. So Tsuki was actually Uriel, Kuon's twin, and Vidka was their aunt. They were all related.

*PRICK!*

A small prick was jabbing into her heart. When she saw this happy reunion, she thought of only one thing:

Where was she in this picture?

There once was a family in a far away land. A mother, a father, an aunt, and twins. And one shinigami. She was the only oddball out of this story. So, who was she to them, and was she even needed at all?

Ren doesn't even want me to grant wishes for him. He doesn't need anything granted. So what use am I?

* Grim Reaper- as far as I know, a shinigami means death god in Japanese so that's a grim reaper. Well, in this story, they are two entirely different people.

I have no idea if this ever confuses people, but when I write, I would put Ren in it instead of Kuon. His parents are the only ones that call him Kuon, but he is still acting as Ren.

Anyway, most of Vidka's experiences and thoughts of suicide are close to what I thought last year, or at least, 2 years ago. I was also sent to the counselor for accidentally writing my thoughts of life. I want to tell people right now, that even if you don't like life, don't think that killing yourself is going to make you happy. I've tried several times, and there was even a time when I was close to losing the feel for my legs.

I'm not saying that the adults helped me, but it was nice to let it all out. I couldn't depend on my parents, as they couldn't understand. I didn't tell everything to the counselor, or the shrink (yes, I was sent to a shrink, too) everything, but I did tell them that I hated life. I still think of suicide now and then, but not as often as before. I hope the people out there who are reading this can understand.

And yes, there was also a person that kept haunting me to kill myself. I know that that must be like saying I'm crazy, but... he was real to me. His voice is no longer heard, and I can rest easily now.