Looseleaf

CXXXIX. Abomination

"I hate you!" Matt cried from his place on the floor. "You- you...abomination!"

Mello snorted. "That would make you the abomination's bitch," he said thoughtfully.

Matt turned pink, but plowed on, "Butthole!"

"Barbie."

"Buttcrack!"

"Ken."

"Buttface!"

"Barney."

"Butt...cheeks!" By this point, Matt was running out of insults that began with 'butt,' but he had one more up his sleeve, and it was going to be a good one...

"Teletubbies," Mello countered.

"Why are you saying those things?" Matt said, exasperated. He threw his arms into the air dramatically. "You're such a...toilet seat!"

Mello froze.

Matt grinned triumphantly.

Then Mello burst into hysterics, doubling over with laughter. "Oh- oh my god!" he got out between guffaws. "Toilet seat! Ha! Ahahaha!" He was literally rolling on the floor laughing, pounding his fist agains the poor carpet.

Matt just stood there, looking crestfallen. His eyes watered. "S-stop laughing!" he tried to say without stuttering, but failing. "It's not funny!"

"Yes it is!" Mello howled, unrelenting of his laughter.

So Matt sniffled and waited for the blond to calm down. When he finally was able to don a straight face, Matt mumbled, "I don't like it when you laugh at me."

Mello smiled, getting up on his feet and ruffling the other's hair. "How do you think I felt when I was called a surface on which butts are sat on? Besides, it was funny. You looked about to shit yourself in frustration."

Matt sighed, finding that there way that he'd get his dignity back now. "Can we just," he broke off with another sigh. "What were we fighting about again?"

"I broke your Ken doll," Mello reminded him, gesturing to the doll on the floor. Its limbs were scattered around, Ken's ever-so pretty face smashed in from Mello rolling over it.

"Oh yeah," Matt said, sniffing sadly. "He was special. Poor Ken."

"Special?" Mello asked in disbelief. "Really, now?"

Matt nodded. "Yep." His shoulders slumped in disappointment. "You see, I'd been planning to dress him up as me and make him copulate with a blond, leather-wearing Barbie."

All right, something important recently happened in rl, and it's going to cause me to be absent for a few days, so expect Looseleaf to be update-less until around Tuesday? D: