*Lights go up to reveal Kay bouncing happily around the group sitting in their large semi-circle. Bon Bon follows close behind her holding a clipboard and large duffel bag*
Kay: HEY ALL YOU VIEWERS ARE YOU AS PUMPED UP AS WE ARE!? GET READY FOR THE FINAL EPISODE IN SEASON ONE OF CIRQUE DE SHINRA!
Genesis: NONE of us are happy to be here for this episode!
Rufus: WE DON'T NEED YOUR COMMENTARY THEY ALL REALIZE THIS ALREADY!
Cadet Cloud:….*whispers to Zack* What's wrong with Rufus?
Zack: *Patting Cloud's head* He's still married to Tifa, remember?
Sephiroth: I do not think I need to be here for this, one of the Remnants can take my place.
Aerith: But….you are one of the most popular men of the show Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: Which is exactly the reason I do not wish to be here.
Kunsel: I think…we should get started. I mean let's just get this over with right?
Rufus: WRONG!
Rosso: You're daddy really has you on a leash, doesn't he?
Tifa: *punches Rosso* I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM!
Bon Bon: *Poofs in between Tifa and Rosso, puts ice down their shirts*
Tifa: AH THERE'S ONE ON MY NIPPLE!
Reno: *Wolf whistles* Damn, I love white clothing!
Kunsel: IT'S TIME FOR THE FIRST DARE…er…QUESTION…uhhh….JUST HERE IT IS!
Dare: Weiss gets to bite/lick/suck/w.e on any part of Tifa. Yes, I like to torment my lovely Tifa. Signed, Anonymous.
Rufus: IF SHE CHEATS ON ME I GET TO DIVORCE HER!
Tifa: *Grabs Weiss* You go below the belt and I'll break every bone in your body.
Weiss: I don't think there were any restrictions in that dare, Tifa.
Tifa: KAY!
Kay: Uh, well…..I mean he can't like, get you pregnant with his mouth or anything right?
*Crickets chirping*
Genesis: ….Is that a serious question? Do you really not know?
Bon Bon: She's very stupid about sex.
Kay: SHUT UP AM NOT!
Weiss: *Rolls eyes* Can we get this started please?
Kadaj: *Shouts in anger as Weiss pushes Tifa onto her back on top of him* NOOOOO MOTHER HELP ME!
Kay: Weiss move her….
Reeve: Um, Kay?
Kay: Yeah?
Reeve: Kadaj, asked for his "Mother's" help….and you helped him….
All:….
Loz:….Mother?
Kay: Not even close.
Cadet Cloud: *Blushing fiercely*
Zack: DON'T DO THAT RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!
Weiss: *Sucking and licking at Tifa's breast before pulling away with a loud pop* I couldn't hear that, you say something Fair?
Tifa: He said you're done! *Punches Weiss and sits back in her seat*
Kunsel: Well, uh, time for the next dare…thing….
Bon Bon: Kunsel has a boner.
Reno: Hahaha! That's all it takes eh?
Kunsel: SHUT UP TURK!
Dare: Whoever Cissnei finds most attractive guy, she gets to place a neck bind on him and treat him as her pet. Signed, Anonymous.
Cissnei: *Smirking behind her hand* Any guy?
Kay: That's what the dare said.
Cissnei: Hm…..*takes the collar and leash* I think….*walking around set*
Sephiroth: *Glaring as she passes closer to him*
Loz: *Whimpering and trying to hide behind Kadaj*
Reno: *Waving frantically trying to get her attention* Yoooooo, I'm all for this~
Cissnei: Then where's the fun in that? *Stalks over to Rude and slaps the collar around his neck*
Reno: Heh, look at that partner.
Rude:….
Rufus: Hmph, no fraternizing in the office.
Yuffie: Shut up Ru-Ru.
Rufus: How did you-!?
Yuffie: Uh hello, ninja?
Kunsel: Alright here's our next question!
Question: Yay for new chapters! yay for Kay and Kunsel for this show!
Surprise surprise! The tsuviet brothers has quite different taste in ladies (2 great ladies ya'know) My question is if you both had the hots for the same girl will you fight for her affection on a battle down, one be the one to give her up or...share her ;) Signed, DoC 478.
Kay: YAY KUNSEL AND I THANK YOU! *Climbing over Kunsel's shoulders and waving at every camera* WE LOVE YOU FOR WATCHING!
Rufus: No we don't.
Genesis: Don't be a sourpuss Rufus.
Weiss: Well, my brother and I are very close. We grew up nearly inseparable.
Nero: Sharing is one of my favorite activities. Anytime I'm able to spend more time with my brother I never miss the opportunity.
Reno: They proved that already yo, sharin' bubble baths and shit like that!
Tifa: How would you know that Reno?
Reno: Turks know everthin' yo.
Zack: I think you mean Turks are perverts….
Kunsel: NO ARGUING RIGHT NOW! Next question coming at you!
Question: Ok, I want Aerith to make out full on with Nero and then have Rufus lick off wiped scream from her bare chest and she has to say which one she enjoys more
I donno is that perv enough? Signed, Sousuke.
Rufus: I DON'T KNOW IS LICKING A DESERT TOPPING OFF ANOTHER PERSON'S BODY PERVERTED ENOUGH!?
Angeal: Wouldn't Nero need to…take off his mask?
Reno: Let's do it I need a good laugh yo!
Nero:….May I not do this?
Kay: You really need me to answer this?
Aerith: I would…uh….maybe someone else?
Elena: I'm sure it won't be too bad Aerith, just close your eyes and don't touch his hair. *Patting Aerith's back*
Aerith: *Sigh, shuffles over to Nero and crosses arms over her chest* I'm not sitting in your lap, so you should really stand up.
Nero: *Takes mask off, gliding to his feet and lifting Aerith from her feet* I can manage with this position. *Kisses Aerith and slips tongue into her mouth*
Rufus: I have a headache I'm leaving.
Bon Bon: *Throws ice cubes at Rufus until he sits back down*
Kay: No. Bad Ru-ru. No leaving until the show is over.
Rufus: What gives you the right to assault me with crushed ice!?
Genesis: If all it takes to stop you is a few melting ice cubes why didn't Avalanche just use that?
Sephiroth: They were trying to copy you're flare for dramatics and unnecessary comments of course.
Nero: *Grunts in pain and falls over*
All:….
Loz: Uh….Mr. Sable oblivion guy?
Yazoo: How intellectually put brother.
Nero: She….kicked me…..in my….*groans*
Aerith: He got too grabby.
Kunsel:….*looking sadly at Cadet Cloud* This is a….ah…..dare for Cadet Cloud.
Zack: *Pulls Cloud closer and glares at everyone*
Angeal: Puppy stop growling everything will be fine.
Dare: I want each Sephiroth, Genesis, Rude and Hojo to rap... to have sex with young Cloud! Niahahahaaa! *evil laugh* And you Zackary, you have to watch it without doing anything! Signed, Chaos.
Hojo: Well Vincent, I didn't realize your demons had learned to use electronics. Though I can't say I'm not pleased.
Zack: I'LL KILL THEM FIRST! *Waving sword around and screaming while being restrained by Angeal.* SEPHIROTH COME HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU BEFORE YOU RAPE CLOUD!
Cadet Cloud: Please I….really don't want to do this…..
Kay: *Teary eyes* I'm sorry Cloudy…
Genesis: Are we doing this or what? *Already naked*
Kunsel: We'll just let them go into a secluded part of the set until they're done….
Cissnei: Uh, Rude is mine for the day so no. He's not participating.
*Two hours later*
Elena: Zack is still in the fetal position….
Reno: Blondie joined him after his private time yo *snickering*.
Genesis: We should do more episodes like this~
Yuffie: PUT YOUR PANTS ON! *Hits Genesis with a lightning materia*
Genesis: YOU BRAT!
Kunsel: Well Cadet Cloud is about to get some revenge, I think…
Genesis: What are you talking about!?
Sephiroth:…I will not do whatever it is.
Dare: Well, in that case, for the next dare episode, I want all the ones who perverted Cloud to kiss his feet for forgiveness and to do whatever he wants to for a week.
Seph and Genesis must also stay on all fours as cadet Cloud's pets all this week and one last thing for you Genesis you have to tear your Loveless book and then to burn it.Kunsel, please, do not skip this dare, they have to do it!
Kunsel: Look, I don't try to skip dares or questions. But we gotta use the ones that will work for us. Don't complain alright?
Cadet Cloud: Well, I mean, they don't-
Zack: BOW DOWN TO HIM YOU PERVERTED BASTARDS!
Reno: *Tearing apart Loveless while Yuffie prepares the lighter fluid*
Genesis: DAMN YOU ALL! DAMN YOU ALL TO THE FURTHEST PART OF HELL WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MY LOVELESS!
Sephiroth: I am not…
Kay: Oh yes you are! Both of you! Hojo too!
Kunsel: Time for the next dare, while the three idiots bow to their new master….
Zack: GENESIS STOP TRYING TO GROPE CLOUD!
Dare: I dare everyone to pick a partner, and hug them for the rest of the episode! And make sure to not release that hug at all except for dares!Signed, Nyako
Zack: CLOUDY!
Aerith: Tifa?
Tifa: Yes!
Yuffie: VINNY!
Sephiroth:….no.
Genesis: Well, what do you say Mr. short blonde and gloomy?
ACC Cloud: No.
Kunsel: I'm so done with these people I just can't you're all perverts so much.
Dare: Azul, do you have romantic sex with Loz? Bwahahahaha! Signed, Spungus.
Azul: Heh, well we haven't yet.
Loz: NOOOOOOOO I DON'T WANNA!
Kunsel: Alright this last question is a question for ACC Cloud.
Question: I suffer with ausitum(if that's how you call it), and I suffer severe emotional breakdowns at pretty everything, even animal deaths(which for me, I'm not an animal person) and like you sometimes, I blame myself for everything that goes wrong everything something exciting happens for me and it causes mini-chaos. What can I do in order to control my break-downs? Signed, Tash.
ACC Cloud: Well, I would start with first working to get my emotions under control. I took some time to do some research and found there are plenty of natural remedies such as a cup of chamomile tea which Kay has informed me can be bought at a local grocery store, exercising for an hour or so to work off the excess energy works for me too, and I think burning incense such as lavender or even buying something like air spray that's lavender scented really helps to relax your muscles, holding your breath in the 4-7-8 breath technique which means you exhale completely through your mouth, then inhale through your nose for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of seven. Now let it out slowly through your mouth for a count of eight. Just do that at least twice a day, also just try to eat something. I usually go for chocolate or something sweet like that, but anything will work. As for the blaming yourself I know it's easier trying to go through things on your own while trying to pretend you're fine, but just remember that things happen in your life that you can't control. They won't destroy you though, because if you've made it so far in your life you're a lot stronger than you think. You can't let life take control of you; you have to take control of life. Start with small steps though because you aren't being forced to do anything I promise. If you still feel such emotional turmoil, take a bit of time to yourself to get your emotions grounded once more. I also recommend finding someone close to you to talk with, because it is always easier to face trials when you realize you aren't alone.
Kay: My ask box is always open and I promise to do whatever I can to help as well!
Yuffie: That's right! We'll all be here to help so keep us posted!
Kunsel: We want to tell everyone out there reading this that serious and personal questions such as this one will always be answered. ALWAYS. Send them to us, we won't discriminate and we won't overlook them. Our viewers' health is more important than a few laughs.
Kay: Well, this is it. The end of the first season. Sorry to everyone who didn't get their pervy dares answered!
Rufus: I suppose this was actually a bit of fun, every once in a while.
Reno: I'm gonna miss all ya bein' stupid in one place yo.
Kunsel: Before we end this, I want to say that even though we all argue so much I have to say I'm happy to know each and every one of you.
Kay: YOU GUYS MAKE MY LIFE A LOT MORE INTERESTING!
Sephiroth: And to the fans, thank you for sticking with us…
Yuffie: In all of our crazy schemes…
Kadaj: Ups and downs…
ACC Cloud: Emotional problems…
Aerith: And untimely deaths.
All: Have no fear! We'll all be back before you know it!