AN: Hey People! Here's the update you've been waiting for. It's longer than the others, and there is a bit more Malex action. So here you are. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. Read and Review, it makes me happy.

I sigh looking at my phone. Summer had just sent me a text saying: Diner at 1, you, me, Cohen, and Ryan. Be there.

I had gone a whole week without incident, successfully avoiding both Ryan and Alex. My mental capacity had even started to get back to normal… until now. I could almost feel myself unwinding, caused by these backed up emotions almost bursting at their seams. I wanted to tell myself over and over again that things might just be better without either of them, but when it came down to it, I missed them both.

Ryan and Alex were two of my best friends and I couldn't imagine life without either of them. This delay in my decision making was a direct result of being afraid of losing one of them. I was terrified that at the end of all this I was going to have to decide who I was willing to leave behind.

"Coop!" I shake myself back into reality and look around confused. With no recollection of arriving at the diner at all I look at Summer questionably. "I lost you for a second there." She says leaning back into her seat.

"Sorry… What were we just talking about?"

"The history assignment Ms. Ward assigned us." She was looking at me strangely, and she was obviously worried.

"Before that?"

"We were complaining about the guy's tardiness."

It all came back to me. My head falls to the table as I curse. "Right, okay. I'm sorry."

"Are you feeling okay Coop?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I guess I'm just tired." I play it off as nothing, knowing my best friend would be worried if it was anything else.

She looked skeptical about my excuse, but until I had shown more symptoms, she would probably just observe carefully. "Alright, if you say so." She took a sip from her tea. "I have to say, you seem less than excited about seeing Ryan today."

"Yeah well…" I trail off, thinking that would cover my meaning. When she just looked at me I decided to elaborate. "It's just… I feel like I'm being unfair to Alex."

"You're only being unfair if you're avoiding Alex." I look away, obviously indicating my guiltiness. "Oh my god… you're avoiding Alex. Marissa!"

"What? I know, I know, it's messed up. But it's just so… hard to see either of them."

"It's never gonna get easier if they think you're mad at them for some reason!"

Just then Seth walks in holding his jacket together weirdly. "What are we talking about?" He asks sitting next to Summer.

"Coop and her issues. Where's Ryan?"

"He'll be in here in a minute. Summer, can I talk to you for a second. I need to show you something." He looks around nervously.

Summer looks at me asking for permission, I wave her off. They stand and walk across the diner. The empty restaurant allows me to hear them whispering. Then Summer starts hitting Seth and I could tell she is really upset with him by the tone her voice is taking. Whatever he did was going to make her mad at him for weeks. And I couldn't quite hear what they were saying, but I had a feeling it had something to do with what he was trying to hide with that baggy sweatshirt.

Summer comes back to the table with Seth in tow. The vein on the side of her head was popping out, telling everyone in sight exactly how irritated she was. They were both silent for a minute before I decided it was time to be let in on what was going on. "Everything okay?" I ask looking at both of them.

"Cohen's just showing how much of an asshat he truly is." She practically yells.

"Summer's just being a paranoid, sensitive, crazy woman." Seth shoots back. He rolls his eyes. "Look, are you at all offended by this?" He asks pulling apart his sweatshirt and revealing exactly what he was hiding.

It was a blue T-shirt with a gray heart on the middle. The heart had a picture of me and Ryan in the center. Just under the heart were the monogramed words 'Team Myan Forever'

My jaw drops at the sight of the T-shirt. "Seth!" I yell. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I already gave him that speech Coop. Now he just needs a beating."

"Who needs a beating?" I hear someone ask sliding into the booth next to me. Ryan looks questioningly at Seth's T-shirt before shaking it off and looking around at the other members of our group.

I mean mug Seth as I sit. If only looks could kill. "Cohen, what else is new?" Summer says giving Seth an evil look.

Ryan nods before looking at me again. "So how have you been? I haven't seen you in a while."

"Okay." I say feeling the growing awkwardness of the situation pressing on my nerves. "Cured." I say referring to my supposed state of mono. He chuckles. "What about you?"

"I've been alright. Slammed with homework though."

"Well then I guess it's a good thing I haven't been around wasting your time." I say finally looking at him. His face hasn't changed much since the first day I'd seen him, other than the absence of a black-eye now. But the rest of him has changed drastically. He controls his anger now, thank god. He doesn't fight anymore. He talks a lot more.

I am one of the few believers of the notion that people do change overnight. Ryan Atwood was a clear indication of that. "That's debatable." He says studying me.

I start to wonder if he's noticed a change in me. I know I look older, I can barely recognize myself in the mirror anymore. And I know the booze has started to take its toll. The lack of sleep has added dark circles under my eyes, and there's only so much makeup can cover. But have I changed in personality?

I'll still probably never have to work a day in my life. I'm still incredibly materialistic. And over all I'm still as selfish as I was before. Look at me now, dragging two great people down with me. Refusing to make a choice because I'm afraid of what it'll do to me. Some people change all the time, but others never change. Most never will.

What Ryan had said made everything more awkward and everyone was silent for a long time. Until I hear someone's laugh from the front counter I think that time might have just frozen around me. We all look up at the direction of the sudden noise and see someone that could only make things more awkward here at the table.

Seth pulls his sweatshirt together tightly, Summer shoots me a look, and Ryan immediately looks pissed off. Almost on cue Alex turns around and her smile fades just slightly when she sees all of us together.

Probably out of pure obligation she walks over to us. "Hey guys." She greets.

Summer recovers the quickest and says, "Hi Alex. What are you doing over here?"

"I was just visiting a friend-" Alex begins.

She's cut off by Ryan who chimes in with, "I wasn't aware you had any friends."

Alex doesn't seem offended by Ryan's rude comment, just amused. "Yeah you're right, I don't have many here in Newport, probably because I have a thing against fakers." She says putting a heavy stress on her last word.

The situation was way too tense and awkward for any of us to handle, thankfully Summer tries to fix it. "So Alex, would you like to join us?"

Alex laughs at the simple suggestion. "Uh, no… I know when to walk away and I think now is one of those times. Thanks though, I do appreciate it." Alex looks at me for a mere moment, but it feels like she goes through my entire life with one glance. "Bye Marissa."

I feel guilty again as she walks away from me. But I recover in time to see Summer motioning to follow her. I shake my head but she kicks me from under the table. I stand and say, "Alex wait." She turns and stops dead in her tracks. I walk closer and ask her if she has some time to talk.

She nods and I follow her out of the diner. I leave just in time to hear Seth say, "Does this mean I have to send back the first shipment of the T-shirts?" followed by him saying "Ow!"

We walk to a nearby bench on the pier in silence. She sits next to me and I can feel her eyes watching me carefully. It takes a while before she says, "I feel like you've been avoiding me lately."

"I haven't I just…" I trail off having nothing else to say.

"Have been avoiding me." She finishes quietly. I shake my head.

"I'm sorry, I've just had a lot on my mind lately." That wasn't a lie at all. I have had a lot on my mind lately. Just because I didn't tell her she was the one on my mind doesn't make it a lie.

She accepts this, but still looks worried. "What's wrong Marissa?"

"I-I… have to make a choice. And this choice can literally affect everything in my life. And certain aspects of my friend's lives… and I just don't know how to decide."

She looks out to the water for a long time before she says, "When I was younger, and I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that I liked girls my life was hell. I didn't know if I should tell my parents and my friends, or if I should just hide it and with it hide who I was. On one hand I didn't want to be turned on by the people closest to me, and on the other if I hid it I'd be turning on myself."

"What did you do?" I ask. She might be the only one with the experience to help me. And it was also nice to hear about my enigmatic friend's past.

She smiles sadly. "Nothing." She says. "I did nothing. I waited and procrastinated until I no longer had I choice. The choice was made for me the day I got caught with Jodie. My world was turned upside down in a matter of moments and there was no looking back. I got myself thrown out of the house and later emancipated all because I couldn't make a simple decision."

I take in her words, trying to find the hidden message or something that can help me. She then elaborates. "If you refuse to do what's right for you Riss, then you are never going to get anywhere. If you wait until you no longer have a chance to choose you might wake up one day and realize that you wanted something else."

"Is that what happened to you?"

"In a way yeah." I can't help the disappointment I feel with her answer. "I'm a high school dropout working as a bartender. But then again I know at the end of the day I lived like I wanted to live. I do me, and for the first time I don't have to please anyone else. I got lucky." She smiles as she looks at me. "But it could have ended differently."

I smile back at her before leaning my head on her shoulder. "Thank you."

"Anytime."

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about Ryan."

She chuckles. "Don't worry about it." After a while she adds with her signature smirk, "I've known for a while he's a douche bag."