AN: I am totally sorry for the delay in an update, but my schedule has been kicking my ass. But it's here now, so enjoy it, if you can. While writing this a totally evil idea popped into my head. And it is really, really mean to my characters but I had to do it. The idea was too golden to not use it. It will definitely make this more interesting, and a lot longer than I originally planned. But I finally know pretty much exactly how this is going to work out. Hopefully the next update will take less time than this one, but no promises as usual. I also noticed some of you enjoyed my POV change, and I did too, but I had to switch back to Marissa. Alex will get another turn in a few chapters or so, I promise, but until then you'll have to deal with the moody musings of Marissa Cooper. Read and review, and 1,000,000 points if you can spot the pop culture reference in this chapter.

RUN! I yell to myself as soon as I walk through the front door. I fucked up last night. Big time. And not even just with puking on Mr. Daily's lap. The things I said to Alex were unforgivable. If she wasn't such an amazing person she wouldn't have forgiven me so easily. I'd probably still be lying on the floor outside if it wasn't for her.

But she was going to have to learn eventually. I say things, I do things that don't make any sense. I'm hard to control. I hurt people if they get too close. Reaching the breaking point was one of my greatest fears. Saying something that pushes beyond the point of no return. Doing something to make someone I love leave me forever. Leave me alone.

I wasn't s self-sufficient like Alex was. I wasn't dependable like Ryan. I wasn't loyal like Seth. I wasn't strong like Summer. I wasn't devious like my mother. I wasn't smart like my father. I was just… me. If I didn't have people around me strong enough to handle themselves and me, I wouldn't last a day. Let's face it, I would lose myself faster than it took to lose all of them.

My mother was waiting for me on the stairs, so doing anything other than stopping would have been useless. She didn't look happy at all. Her lips were drawn in a flat line and her hands were on her hips. Her eyes were looking disapprovingly at me. "Marissa." She says sharply. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I love you mommy?" It was my last ditch effort to save my life. And I distinctly remember it working for my sister when she stole my mom's lipstick. Then again she was about seven and still cute. Plus my mother actually liked her.

"Do you have any idea the explaining I had to do to keep Mr. Daily from catching the first flight back home last night? Do you have any idea how humiliated I was telling him my sixteen year old daughter is an alcoholic?"

"Look… I'm sorry. Believe it or not, I didn't do it just to spite you. It was a complete accident and I will give a personal apology to Mr. Daily if he'll permit it." It would have been a whole lot funnier if I'd done it on purpose. But I didn't, and now with the look she was giving me, I sure wish I'd held my alcohol better.

"You bet your ass you will. Luckily for you I was able to smooth it over. We might just be able to save this thing. You will be going to dinner with him tonight and you will be a presentable young lady. You will abide by the manners I raised you with and you will impress him."

"Why do you want me to go to dinner with your new boy toy?" I had said I would apologize, but anybody who has captured my mom's interest this much isn't somebody I want to spend time with. I learned that much with Caleb.

The reaction I received isn't the one I expected. It wasn't the angry glance I'd hoped for, but it was an amused look and a laugh. She then looked at me like I had to be joking, but when she realized I was serious, she said "He's not my boy toy Marissa, he's your suitor."

Hunched over the toilet and crying my eyes out was how Ryan found me. His spoken comforts and attempts at consoling my tortured soul seemed so distant to my innermost chambers of comprehension. I heard his lack of eloquence stumbling around trying to find the right words and appreciated his attempt, but some things can't be helped with sweet words. Maybe his words didn't support my deteriorating mental health but his looks did.

They told me everything. Like how everything would be okay and how much he knew I'd get through this. They'd also told me that we had been through worse. He didn't know what this was though. He didn't know what this meant. Had we been through a lot? Hell yes. But had we been through worse than this? I really didn't think so. So when that look told me that everything would be okay I wanted to believe him. But I didn't.

Next thing I knew I was hurling again. I was unsure if it was the killer hangover or the recent discovery of my mother's plans. She was evil. I had joked around that she was the devil incarnate before, but if anything could prove it this was. She was actually going to lead her own daughter into a life of complete misery because of her avaricious tendencies. I hated her; her and that rich bastard.

Because of her and Daily I was never going to have the life I'd always wanted. Not the rich, fast life everyone had always imagined for me. I didn't want to be a successful high-roller in the fashion industry, I wanted to be doing something that I loved; I didn't want to be a trophy wife, I wanted to be with somebody that treated me like I was the best thing that ever happened to them; I didn't want to live in a house with more space than I knew what to do with, I wanted to live in a modest house on the beach; I didn't want the highlight of my every day to be watching the husband I didn't really love walking out the front door to visit one of his mistresses.

I knew what I wanted now. I wanted to be with someone that made my heart jump every time I heard her key in the door. But it was too late. I'd missed my chance to figure out what I wanted. I missed my chance to decide, and the choice was made for me. Just like Alex said. I didn't end up having to choose between two of the most important people in my life, I ended up losing my life.

"Marissa?" Someone's voice snakes itself into my head, into my life. I wake up from my trance and find myself in a local restaurant. It's night time, and by the look of all the people in the restaurant it's about seven. I wouldn't think anything of it if that hadn't been my second time jump in two weeks. This might be a lot more serious than I thought, but I had bigger things to deal with.

Mr. Daily was sitting in front of me, looking annoyed. "Sorry." I say weakly. "Excuse me." I stand and turn towards the restroom. I splash water on my face once I enter trying to remember anything that may be vital to continuing this 'date'. He couldn't know that I wasn't mentally present half the time.

Ryan found me in the bathroom. We stayed there for a while until he moved me onto my bed. I finally stopped crying eventually and then… I told him. I told him my mom's plan.

*Flashback*

He stared at me blankly for about two minutes until he asked me if I was messing with him. I told him that he was blonder than I thought if her though I would kid about something this big. "How? You're only sixteen."

"That's old enough with parent permission."

"You don't have to consent Marissa."

"I won't have a choice Ryan! She'll find a way. She always does. She gets what she wants and that's the end of the story."

"How can you just give up like this?"

"Do I have a choice? If I don't come to terms with this now, I'm going to be in even more trouble later."

"We'll get through this Marissa. We always do."

"Not this time Ryan, not this time." He looks away. "Just don't tell anyone. You have to promise me you'll keep it a secret. Not anyone, not Sandy, Kirsten, Seth, Summer, but especially not a word to Alex."

"Okay. But people are going to find out sooner or later."

"I know… I just can't handle seeing her reaction right now."

*End Flashback*

I hated keeping secrets, especially from Alex, but it had to be done. She could not find out until I was long gone. I couldn't imagine the way she would react if she found out sooner.

I notice how well the dark circles under my eyes were covered and how well the green dress I had on fit. Autopilot me might just be better than me at being me. After regaining the little bit of composure I had left I walked back out to the table and sat across the man of my nightmares.

"Are you okay?" Any sincerity his voice may have carried was tarnished by his look of irritation. Good to know he was as compassionate as he appeared.

"Yeah, I'm just pretty tired."

"Bad day? You wanna talk about it?"

"Not- I just- My mom kind of tore into me pretty hard for making a fool of myself last night, that and the… guilt I felt took a toll."

"I can understand the tiredness. Being the business man I am doesn't promote much rest." I wasn't surprised he didn't feel the guilt part of my explanation.

"And what is it you do exactly?"

"I-handle relations between government properties and such with private businesses and investors… remember? I told you that earlier."

"Oh… I'm sorry. I've been really absentminded lately and-"

"So what is it exactly that you're on?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm just curious, if someone were to find out it might affect me on a negative scale. That is unless it's not that serious, but either way I can afford to get you off of it no problem. I just need to know for future reference."

I feel my mouth fall open and my eyes widen in shock. I never imagined someone like him accusing me of being on something. Did it really look like that? Random fits of anger, lack of appetite, recklessness, time jumps… damn. "I'm not… Alex?"

There was no chance of coincidence in my life anymore. Everything happened deliberately, all just to fuck my life up. What else explains Alex walking past me in a restaurant she's never been interested in going to, with a companion I might add, on the very same night as my 'date' with Daily?

She turns around quickly, hearing my voice, and calls "Hey Marissa!" She approaches, her little friend in tow. "Good to see you're still breathing."

My smile quickly fades when Daily chimes in and extends his hand to Alex. "I'm Braiden Anderson Daily, pleasure to meet one of Marissa's friends."

"Actually we met last night, I worked your party." Her irritation was rivaled by Daily's. It was actually humorous to witness their stare down. I hadn't seen her size someone up like that since the first time she met Ryan.

"Oh, and you were just doing that part time surely. You must have something other than bartending."

"Actually I don't. In fact if it wasn't for Kris here showing up, I probably wouldn't even be able to afford looking at this place. Not that you're… generous salary helped that situation."

"Well it was nice seeing you, let's go Alex. Have a nice dinner you two." Kris tries to drag Alex away and manages to get her out of the restaurant, but she isn't far enough away to help my mouth thinking faster than my head.

"Braiden if you don't mind I think I'll get going now too. I have a project I need to work on tomorrow." I stand abruptly.

"But we haven't been served our entrée."

"I'm not hungry. I'm sorry again for last night. Goodnight." I run out of there trying to catch up to Alex. She's leaning against the railing looking out towards the water when I find her. I start to approach when I see Kris walk up beside her and hand her and ice cream cone. I stop dead in my tracks. They looked so… happy. Laughing and smiling together. I knew it was supposed to be me there, with her. But it couldn't be. Not anymore.

That didn't stop me from going over there, probably ruining Kris's night. "Hey." I say touching Alex's shoulder gently. She turns her head to me and smiles. Those gray/blue eyes showing more than she could ever say.

In that moment, it was as if everything changed. The world slowed, and everything else faded away. I felt like I could finally tell her what I really thought whenever I looked at her, and it would make a difference. A part of her was begging me to say it, to not care what would happen and just say it. I might have, if it wasn't for her friend making her unimportant presence known once more.

"Hello Marissa." Kris says with a tone of spite. She did it on purpose, she broke our peace to remind Alex that she was the one with her. I didn't like her already.

"Hi…"

"Kris." She says shortly. "Alex, I need to get going soon. I have that appointment tomorrow."

"Bye. Thanks for tonight." Alex turns her attention to the other girl.

"Yeah… I'll call you." Disappointment is clear in her voice as she walks away.

I watch her leave, burning holes into the back of her neck before saying, "You wanna go for a walk?" Alex nods and loops her arms through mine, leading me down towards the water.

I feel the weight of needing to clear the air on both our nightly affairs earlier so I try to start it off. "She seems nice."

"Oh yeah, nice enough she's gonna punch me in the throat the next time she sees me." She chuckles and then goes silent. After I remain quiet she finally gets the hint and says, "She's just an old friend from LA visiting for a while. What about Mr. B.A.D.?"

I hated lying to her. "Um… my mom just wanted me to apologize with a nice dinner. That's all."

She nods before asking, "Do you think he changed his name so his initials would spell out the word bad?" I laugh. She looked at me like she was asking a serious question and I'm forced to wonder what really goes on in her head. Was it always just really hilarious commentary and random thoughts? Or was it something deeper than that? Was it because she wanted to find the deeper truth in everything? Or because she just couldn't concentrate on anything for longer than to ask one seemingly irrelevant question? I probably would never know. But I wanted to. So I humored her.

"I don't know why he would do that."

"He seems like the type of guy to do something like that. I knew a guy once that changed his first name to Fabian so his full name was Fabian Aaron Gonzalez." I find myself laughing again out of pure disbelief. I call B.S. and she launches into this huge story trying to prove his existence and the fact that he actually did this.

Afterwards I finally decide to pretend to believe her and say, "Maybe his parents decided to be funny."

"Or maybe he wants to pretend to like he's a badass."

"No, if I know anything about him it was probably some really complicated business move that neither of us have any chance of understanding."

"Maybe it's a warning. Trying to say that he's BAD news."

"Well that I can agree with."