AN: YAY! It's finally here! :D I'm excited! This chapter took me way too long to get out, and I sincerely apologize for that, I hope you all are still interested. Anyways, I've come to the conclusion that you guys are absolutely awesome. Big thanks to everyone that took the time to respond to my message, your words of encouragement helped a lot. Even if you took the time to read it, I thank you. It shows me that I'm not the only one that cares about this story. This chapter is not finished yet (This is just part one) , as I've realized it'd be too long to fit into one chapter on this website, but I decided to get this portion out to you as my thanks for being so amazing and sticking with this story. The POV in this story jumps around a lot, just a warning to all of you the flashbacks are in 3rd person. I took a long time writing the flashbacks, trying to get them perfect because that's what I was really excited to create. I know that they are exponentially better than the 'real time' portion of this chapter. Hopefully the quality evens out for the next part.
As a side note, I really hope you catch my little metaphor towards the beginning, if not, no big deal, life goes on. Read & review, two reviews before I start the next part. Until next time everyone, :D.
*flashback*
The blonde girl closed the door to her family house slowly, knowing it would be the last time she had a chance. She looked around the porch once more and then continued on her journey down the stairs. This may have been the first time she cherished how much being here, her 'home', meant to her; it was her last. The blonde convinced herself that she wouldn't miss anything about this place, even Frankie, the old butler with a kind heart. She'd miss what this place was supposed to hold. She'd miss how she was supposed the feel while there. If anything she'd miss the parties she used to throw when her parents were gone. She'd definitely miss the sound of the ocean at night time… maybe that's where she'll go. Somewhere right on the beach, where she could surf whenever it felt right. Somewhere she really felt at home.
She sat at the curb next to her Jeep for a while, refusing to wonder what could have been, what might happen. She didn't want to think any more than her parents wanted to look at her. She didn't want to feel as much as her family didn't want her to stay. All she could do was stare at the emancipation forms, signed not even five minutes ago. Her senses became aware of nothing but what was on that form. The smell of the fresh ink stuck in her nose like a cat's claws stick into someone when they're being swung around in circles. Her eyes zoned in on the signature piece by piece, criticizing every imperfection, like how dark the top of the 'e' in Kelly was due to a dragging back and forth like a stuck record player. She'd inherited that flaw from watching her father write, as he did it all the time. He couldn't write the letters 'e' 'a' or 's' without redrawing the top curve at least five times, and now neither could she. He had to force the writing utensil to work the way he wanted it to. He had to MAKE the ink go his way
Her mother's signature was perfect, well, at least to the untrained eye. Someone that took the time to look closer realized how imperfectly structured and sharp all of the letters were. Everything was deliberate and thought out. Nothing could be under analyzed; nothing could be over criticized. All she could hear were the sounds of the family's cheers… well maybe that was her imagination, but it packed a dangerous punch in her mental deterioration.
The blonde teenager couldn't even believe they'd signed it. It was supposed to be a warning, a joke, an 'accept me or else'. But her plan backfired, and she was all alone. The sense of freedom wasn't there. The sense of pride wasn't there. All that remained was a sense of being numb, as contradictory as that feeling was.
They didn't even react when she showed them. Not a flinch, not a glimpse into their own daughter's eyes. Just this mind-blowingly calm and indifferent demeanor, like they were just writing the grocery list and not at all like they were signing their child away. And her siblings just watched, like good little children. Didn't speak up and say 'But that's our sister'. They didn't even have the balls to say goodbye. When she cried out for help in that universal look people give their brothers or sisters, they just looked away. They all just let her walk away.
Looking back on this moment she'd probably realize that it didn't mean that much. She'd been an outsider from day one. She'd always been alone. It'd always been Alex against the world. She'd miss what was supposed to be, but she wouldn't feel the loss, because it was never hers in the first place. She was always someone on the outside looking into that picture perfect family. So now… she'd find her own.
She'd find her own future. She'd find her own home. She'd make a life for herself without them. She could do it, she knew she could. It wouldn't be the greatest thing at first, but after a while all the pain she'd ever endured would be worth it. Giving everything away would be worth it.
That's when the blonde girl got up from the ground and looked at the house one more time. She promised herself she'd never return, even if they'd changed their minds and wanted her back. She'd find herself in the wreckage that was her life. But she could do all that tomorrow, right then… she needed a drink.
*end flashback*
Marissa's POV
"Marissa! What the hell are we doing here? I promised myself I would never come back here and I meant it. I meant it damn it!" Alex said in a hushed whisper as we approached her old house. A rather large house I might add, probably larger than the Cohen's house.
I mimic her tone and her sense of worriedness. "You're mother invited us for dinner, we couldn't say no Alex."
"She only invited us because she thought we would say no! We aren't wanted here, and frankly, I don't want to be here." She was a very stubborn girl, probably the only one that could battle my own will. But I wasn't willing to let this one go. It had to happen eventually, and I might not be around much longer to help her through it later. I looked at her and raised my fist to knock. "Do not knock on that door Marissa."
"Alex, I'm knocking. End of discussion."
"Cooper, I swear to god I will kick your ass."
"I don't know Kelly; you're a little out of practice in that department. You probably can't anymore…"
"Marissa… no."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No." Her answer was firm and final, which only encouraged me to knock. Nobody puts their foot down to Marissa Cooper. And before my knuckles had a chance to brush against the wood, the door was opening to reveal an old man in a butler's attire.
"Miss Alexandria, delightful to see you again. Come in, come in." Before he ushered us in Alex shot me a 'See what you've done!' followed quickly by a 'Run now for your life!'.
"Where's the clan?" Alex asks the old man unenthusiastically.
"Mrs. Kelly and Miss Allyson have run to the store, they shall be back shortly. Mister Aaron and Mister Adam are in the lounge."
"Where's Ace, Frankie?"
"Mister Ace hasn't arrived yet to your mother's utter horror. Nobody knows where he is." She nodded accepting this as not a very surprising statement. "Now," He began looking at me, "who is this charming young lady accompanying you Miss Alexandria?"
"First of all, you know what I told you about calling me that, unless you're too old to remember of course." She smirked at him. "And second of all, she isn't that charming." I slapped her arm and scowled at her. "Marissa, meet Frankie, the coolest old person you'll ever meet. Frankie, meet Marissa, the coolest Newpsie in training you'll ever meet."
"It's great to meet you Miss Marissa." He took my hand and shook it.
"The pleasure is all mine." I said with my award winning smile. "And Alex, I don't appreciate you identifying me by my unwanted upbringing."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, save the Newport bashing for when you talk to my mother. They—She hasn't moved the longue since I was last here did she?" After starting to pull me away, she stopped and directed her question to Frankie.
"No, actually… nothing much has changed since you left Miss Alexan—Alex."
"Thank you Frankie, I'll see you at dinner." He smiled and did a slight bowing gesture towards us before walking off.
"Miss Alexandria, you've been holding out on me." I teased following her into what I assumed to be the longue.
"Not another word Cooper." She warned pointing a warning finger at me. She was irritated, and it was hot as hell. The way her brow furrowed, and her eyes went wide. The way she would puff her chest out and cross her arms defensively. It was all just a ploy to drive me insane, and it was working.
She strode into the room with confidence and casualness, like it wasn't some strangely awkward situation created by the twisted universe's sick humor and was just any other normal day. There were two males in the large circular room, and their jaws both dropped when they saw Alex plop down onto the couch.
The two boys were identical. They both had the same sandy blonde hair color styled the same way in that popular faux hawk all the 'cool kids' were wearing. Same eye shape and color. Same facial structure. The only immediate difference I saw was a birth mark under one's right eye. They had the same basic style too. That classic California boy or the 'Luke Ward' as I like to call it.
"Dumb, dumber." She greeted them before patting out the spot next to her, motioning for me to sit down.
The one without the birthmark fell out of the stupor first. "Alex…"
The one with it soon followed behind saying, "Who's the hot chick?" He sat up from his laying position and looked me over.
"Nobody you will ever get the chance to plague with your micro-penis, so don't even think about it." She answered.
"Glad to know you're still as much of a bitch as you were before Alex." He barely made eye contact with her before leaning back into his original position.
"Excuse my brother and his attitude; in light of recent events I'm sure you can understand his disposition." I saw Alex roll her eyes from the corner of mine. He stood and held out his hand to me. "I'm Aaron, and this is Adam. Nice to meet you." I shook his hand.
"He's lying, I'm Aaron. He's Adam." The other twin chimed in.
"You wish you were me." Argued the polite one.
"Yeah right, why would I want to be some goody-two shoes, momma's boy who still hasn't gotten laid?" Shot back the one with the birthmark
"You two: Shut up." Alex ordered. She then took a lighter tone with me and said. "Don't listen to their stupid name game; they used to play it all the time. Just remember, the one with the birthmark is Aaron… I think."
"Hear that, our own sister doesn't even know our names…" Said one.
"What has happened to society?" Finished the other.
"Your own mother can't even tell the difference between you two, and I don't blame her. She always liked to clump things into certain categories, in your guys' case: annoying."
"What's your category? Disappointment?" I shook my head and felt like punching that little asshole. How dare he? I mean really, who gives him the right to say something like that? Who gives him the right to think he's better than her? L.A. seemed a lot more like Newport than I had originally anticipated, but I guess no matter where you went you would always find people like that. I fear that that snobbiness may never relinquish its tough grip on today's generation.
Alex just locked her jaw briefly before saying, "Whatever. Marissa, if you absolutely need to address them, which I don't recommend doing for your sake, then I call the good-boy dumb, and the asshole dumber. I'm gonna go… wander." Then she got up and left me with the twins.
Alex's POV
I hadn't been expecting a warm welcome from anyone, let alone the twins, but it was a little bit ridiculous that they didn't have the decency to say hello to me after over a year. However they were both quick to make a stride a Marissa, which borderline infuriated me. I don't know if it was the fact that Marissa and I were already skating on thin ice or the whole respect issued involved that pissed me off, but something did, and that something was quickly making my patience for this place wear down. I was glad, however, that the situation gave me an excuse to leave the room.
Since my original plan of never coming back didn't pan out, I decided to invade my old family's privacy and explore the house I'd left behind. As Frankie said everything was in the same place it was when I left, more or less. Since his room was closest to the stairs— and because he pissed me off the most recently— I decided to check Aaron's room first.
I opened the door quickly, not caring if anyone heard. His room had be rearranged since I had been in it last, but that was about two years ago. Aaron's bed lay unmade on the opposite side of the room from my vantage point. Clothes and garbage were strewn everywhere because he didn't like the cleaning ladies in his personal area, afraid they might steal one of his 'valuables'. I distinctly remember an argument in which I told him porn magazines weren't valuables, he disagreed.
Posters of various basketball players were covering the walls, scattered about were the usual half naked girl posters in every teenage boy's room. Everything seemed vaguely familiar, but as I dove deeper into the room the smell of weed and cigarettes overtook my senses. He hadn't been into drugs when I was still living there, and I didn't like the fact that my baby brother was into that shit, but there was nothing I could do. After all, I'd given him my word that I wouldn't rat him out, and there are just some things that you can't back out of.
*flashback*
The blonde girl entered one of her sibling's rooms after being scolded for cutting class again. She had been ordered to retrieve Aaron from his room for dinner, but she hadn't been expecting what she saw. She entered not thinking about what might be going on behind that door, and after the initial surprise she mellowed out and cracked a smile.
"Those things can kill ya, you know." She said closing the door behind her, startling her brother. He looked worried for a moment, but after sensing her sarcastic demeanor he pulled that classic Kelly smirk.
"Don't be a hypocrite." He said after taking a drag of his smoke.
"Good point… can I bum one off of you?" He nodded and she approached the open window he was sitting under. He held out a cigarette for his older sister and held his out the window, blowing his smoke and attempting to not get caught by his parents. "You're going about that the wrong way, by the way." She said lighting it up.
"How's that?" He asked, looking at her curiously.
"You're stupid if you think smoking by the widow is gonna protect you from getting caught."
"Care to elaborate?"
She chuckled. "You got a candle or something?" Aaron nods. "Get it, light it, and put it somewhere. Second of all, you're smoking in your jacket, and you aren't even drinking anything. Take your jacket off, put it back on after. The smoke smell stays on your breath longer if your mouth is dry. Oranges hide the smell the best by the way. Baking soda hides the smell in your room. If all else fails and you're afraid you're gonna get caught because the smoke is in your room, overcook some popcorn in your microwave. Problem solved if you can lie like a mother fucker."
"You've never helped me out like this before." He observes after taking the preventive measures she listed.
"We've never had anything in common before."
He nodded and sat back next to the widow. "It is way too complicated."
She just shrugged, "That's the price you pay for keeping your innocent image."
He nodded, accepting this as true. After all, she was his older badass sister; she had to be right about this. He stayed silent for a while before remembering the screaming that had just been going on downstairs. "You're not the only black sheep in this family Alex." She looked him, eyes widening, knowing that that was exactly what she had needed to hear. Her nod signified her gratitude. "Are you gonna rat me out?" Aaron asked.
The blonde girl thought about it for a minute, contemplating how much he had made her mad that week, and how much she wished she had a spot free reputation with her parents again. She'd do anything to start over, and not make the mistakes she had made so frequently. She'd do anything to be one of the good ones again. She'd do anything not to be different.
"No."
"Why not? Don't you want to look better for them?"
"At the end of the day you have to remember that it's not all about how you look Aaron, no matter who's looking. It's about being able to look at yourself and say you did the best you could to help someone." She put out the cigarette, and stood up. "Now come on, the rental units want you to come down for dinner." He smiled at her and followed her suit, standing up and walking out of the room.
*end flashback*
About a month after this exchange Aaron had ratted on himself. Our parents had blamed me for 'contaminating' their child. It was my fault he felt like he needed an out. It was my fault he couldn't take the pressure of following in Adam's footsteps. It was my fault that he fucked up. It was my fault because I was such a bad influence. Well that's how they saw it at least.
To me that one bonding experience we shared was worth it. I realized that day that what Aaron had said was true. I wasn't the only wrong doer in my family. I wasn't the only screw up. I wasn't the only disappointment. That's the one moment I always remember when I think of him. It might be because it was the only moment we shared worth mentioning, but that didn't matter to me. The only thing that mattered was that he helped me to let my mistakes go that day. And remembering what he said today helped me let him go.
3rd Person (Cuz it just came out that way)
"One down, six to go." Alex thought to herself as she exited her brother's room. The mission she'd set out to accomplish needed to happen, and it needed to happen today. If she ever hoped to move on with her life she needed to let her past go. She couldn't make herself inclined to fully diverging herself in someone else's problems without solving her own. She couldn't let herself try to help someone unless she could help herself. She wouldn't save Marissa unless she saved herself first. And maybe if Alex was lucky, this situation would inspire Marissa to deal with her issues on her own. Then again, Alex never had the luck of the Irish.