AN: You Jack/Shep shippers out there will probably looking to lynch me by the end of this chapter. In advance, I say thee: RELAX!
The Sol System Relay was out beyond Pluto. Even after arriving back in Home System, it took several hours to get to Earth. Shepard had sent the necessary codes to allow them passage through the defenses.
The Global Defense Net had registered them the second they came through the Relay, and the fleet had taken more than a few close looks at the Normandy. A ship that was declared lost years before.
"Good thing we painted over the Cerberus logo huh?" Joker commented.
"Yeah." Shepard said quietly. "We got the wreckage?"
"In the shuttle."
"The gun camera footage?"
"Uploaded to your omni-tool." EDI promised.
"All right. I better get ready to go." Shepard said. "Keep the ship in a high orbit, outside the fleet range."
"Yessir."
Miranda kept pace with him as he headed for the shuttle-bay.
"I'll do my best to stay in contact, but I have no idea what's going to happen once I land. If they come after you, you turn this ship around and get outta here."
"No promises."
"Miranda, I'm serious. The ship is yours. I'd tell you to keep her together till I get back, but I know I don't have to."
"Here." Miranda handed him a sheet of vacuum sealed tablets. "Sleeping pills."
"Never use them."
"Shepard, have you slept more than an hour since Jack left?"
The Commander leveled her with a glare. She glared right back. "I need to know." She said simply. "This is going to be bad enough. There are only so many fronts you can fight a war on, and I don't want your own fatigue to be one of them."
Shepard sighed and took the packet.
"You're sure you want to do this?" Miranda asked quietly. "Once you leave the ship... There's no reason you have to go back."
"I'm sure." Shepard said. "If the only way to shine a spotlight on what happened to the colonies, to say nothing of the Reapers, is to raise my right hand and make a public spectacle... then it's worth it. The ship is yours."
Vancouver was the Alliance base of Operations, with it's military spaceport and Command in Control Center. Shepard had called ahead to Anderson and given him a landing time. He was expecting a welcoming committee to be waiting with a warrant, but when he landed the shuttle, he was surprised to find only one or two figures running out to the landing pad to meet him.
Shepard stepped off the shuttle and nearly walked into a mountain. The soldier that met him was seven feet tall, easily, and as broad in the shoulder as a building. For a moment, Shepard was tempted to hide in the shuttle just on principle. He was intimidating to say the least, even for a man who killed a Thresher Maw on foot, alongside a Krogan. Then the soldier gave an easy smile and saluted, a movement that showed off more muscle than any seven people, and Shepard returned it on reflex alone. "Commander John Shepard."
"Lieutenant James Vega." The gorilla responded. "We've been expecting you."
And this is my welcoming committee? Shepard thought, despite himself. They want to beat a confession out of me?
Then Vega stepped aside, and John realised how much worse it could be, as his real escort showed up.
"Ashley!" Shepard blurted before he could stop himself.
Ashley Williams came over, hair over her shoulders, wearing her full dress uniform. She looked… beautiful. She also looked like she had a foul taste in her mouth the second she saw him. He blinked. "What's wrong?"
"Commander John Shepard." Ashley said with grim formality. "Under the Authority of the Citadel Council, I hereby place you under arrest for war crimes against sentience. Please turn over any weapons you may be holding and follow me for your extradition hearing."
"Extradition to where?" Shepard asked in disbelief, passing his pistol to Vega.
"Earth." Williams explained simply. "Come on, we have to move fast. We were expecting you an hour ago."
"I parked my ship a bit further out. Part of me expected to be impounded if we came near the shipyards. Aren't we on earth?" Shepard blinked, suddenly quick-marching to keep up with the pace she set. Vega followed, moving faster than any man his size had a right to.
"Anderson wants to keep it that way. Where we are now has got nothing to do with it. The fact that you're surrendering has nothing to do with it. It's a question of jurisdiction."
Shepard understood swiftly. He was being arrested by a Council Operative. The Alliance was trying to get him back under their power for trial before the Citadel Races lynched him.
Anderson was waiting at the door the second they came off the landing pad, also in full dress uniform. "Spectre Williams, has the prisoner been cooperative?"
"He has." Ashley confirmed, pretending not to notice the shock on Shepard's face at him calling her a Spectre.
Anderson was more than an ally, he was a friend, and Ashley was more than that still. If the two of them were rushing him through this, then there was a reason to hurry.
Sure enough, the two of them led him straight to a Comm Room. Four familiar faces surrounded the podium holographicaly in a semi-circle.
The Citadel Council.
It looked like Shepard had come in during the middle of a heated argument. The other screens visible showed the wreckage of a destroyed Mass Effect Relay, and unless someone else had blown one up this week, it was no secret what they were talking about.
"Oh, there you are." The Salarian member spat at Shepard in thinly veiled contempt. "Admiral, we demand that the prisoner be sent to the Citadel to face charges."
"No." Anderson said calmly.
"Admiral, you must see our position. The Commander is accused of destroying a Mass Effect Relay, to say nothing of hundreds of thousands of deaths. I'm sure that you wouldn't want to move Earth into a Pro-Shepard position."
The veiled threat was clear. If Earth backed Shepard, then the Council would hold earth accountable for everything he did. Given how tenuous humanity's position in the galaxy was at the best of times, that would be enough to have Earth kicked out of the Council, the Citadel…
"Commander Shepard is not here for our protection." Anderson responded. "We're making an application that John Shepard be tried here on Earth in an Alliance Court."
"Where he would have the full protection of his own people."
"Quite the contrary. That's why we wanted you to be 'present' for this." Anderson turned to Shepard. "Commander, you are hereby dishonourably discharged, pending a full investigation into alleged charges of genocide." He reached out and yanked Shepard's dog tags off.
The Commander, now a civilian, was reeling in eight different ways, but he didn't let it show. He didn't know what was happening here, and he hated it, but for now the other guy had the power, and he had to go with it. It wasn't the first time he'd had to do so. Waking up on the Cerberus Station with Miranda's voice telling him to run was the most out of control he'd ever felt. Until now.
"You are to be held in military detention pending your trial." Anderson continued. "You are to receive no visitors, have no communications with anyone. You are to cooperate fully with your interrogators, you are to remain in our custody, you have no liberty. Until your trial date is set and the rules of the court confirmed, you will have no counsel, you will remain under surveillance. You will be under the constant authority of the highest Council security."
The Council was trapped. They couldn't say the punishment was lenient. They couldn't say it wasn't true. Not without openly claiming corruption or rigged courts. They were politicians. They weren't about to declare themselves.
"Spectre Williams." Anderson said thickly. "Take this prisoner away."
Ashley marched him downstairs toward the brig. There were two other guards with them, plus James Vega, and they were unable to talk privately.
"Has the prisoner been searched?" Ashley asked.
"Not yet Ma'am." Vega responded.
Ashley stepped into the cell before the door closed. "Hands on the wall. Now." She told Shepard.
Shepard assumed the 'search' position, and let her frisk him. He felt her lean in close and whisper so that they wouldn't be overheard. "Remember when we did this for fun?"
Shepard struggled not to laugh. He whispered back. "I have to warn my crew."
"If you make a call, it'll be monitored."
"Not if you make the call for me." He countered.
"Spectres have their share of enemies." Ashley whispered. "Alliance policy is to listen in on any contacts they make. A leftover rule from when there was no such thing as a human Spectre."
Shepard growled under his breath. "You'll have to go in person then."
There was a hushed silence on the Normandy again. Shepard had taken the shuttle down to earth alone, and then there was only silence. The crew was pacing around waiting for news.
Joker was keeping the ship in a high orbit, keeping an eye on the Planetary Defense Net and the assorted Alliance ships on patrol.
"The shuttle is returning to the ship, Jeff." EDI's dulcet voice murmured warmly into his ear. Since releasing her, she had become so much more... human.
"Any word from Shepard?" Miranda asked.
"The shuttle is not transmitting, but it is on a course that will bring it alongside for docking."
"But he hasn't called ahead..." Joker pointed out.
Miranda thought for a moment. "Alpha Team, report to the shuttle bay."
Shepard's hand-picked team of destruction personified were assembled with their weapons in reach when the shuttle locked it's landing gear. They were expecting an assault team, a warrant, Shepard himself coming back wounded and on the run...
When she stepped out of the shuttle, nobody knew how to react, except for Tali and Garrus.
"ASHLEY!" Tali blurted.
"Chief." Garrus breathed, already calculating what this meant.
She beamed, thrilled to see the old team. "Hey guys." She gave Tali a hug, shook Garrus' hand. "Well. Look at you two. Who is this woman and what did she do with young Tali?"
"Oh come on, I haven't grown that much." Tali mumbled, a little embarrassed.
"Hips don't lie; Miss Zorah." Ashley teased. She looked over Garrus, and the new scars on his face and armor. "Hmm. Hate to see the other guy."
"All fifteen of them." Garrus drawled. "What are you doing here?"
"Officially, I'm not here at all." She explained. "But Shepard asked me to give you a message. It's probably the last thing he'll be able to do for any of you."
Miranda stepped forward. "Miranda Lawson, Executive Officer."
Ashley looked the woman over, noted the Cerberus logo on her jumpsuit. "Shepard sent me. He's been arrested; pending his trial on the charge of war crimes."
The crew let out an assortment of curses and exclamations. It was what they expected, but they all hated to hear it.
"Briefing Room." Miranda said quickly. "Tell us everything."
Everyone was in attendance, including Joker and Chakwas, thrilled to see Ashley again, furious at the news.
"Right now he's being kept in military detainment. It's not as comfortable as it could be, but this is a very charged situation. Shepard can't be lost in the shuffle. They're going to keep him in solitary, and there will no doubt be more charges pressed. That includes you guys. Anderson is convinced that the trail will play out in a way that drags all humanity in the muck. Shepard has been the face of humanity to a lot of the galaxy since the battle of the Citadel. That's working against him now, because suddenly the face of humanity is considered a genocidal terrorist."
"So you know where he's being held?"
"Yes." Ashley said neutrally.
"How many guards?" Miranda demanded. "Does the facility have aerial defences?"
Beat.
"Ah." Ashley said carefully. "Well, this is awkward. Shepard didn't ask me to come and prepare a jailbreak."
"What then?"
"Well, Shepard knows it's only a matter of time before they bring up Cerberus. Once that happens, you'll all be named as conspirators in the destruction of a Relay and the deaths of a third of a million people. The ship will be locked down, the crew will be arrested... He wanted me to tell you to scatter. Get out now. While you can."
Beat.
Ashley spoke again, specifically to Miranda and Jacob. "This means you guys. You have Cerberus stamped on your uniforms, you better dissapear fast."
Silence.
"I'm staying." Joker said finally.
"Joker, I appreciate loyalty as much as any soldier." Ashley said seriously. "But that was a direct order you just blew off."
"If he's been arrested as a criminal, then I doubt he can give me orders any more. Besides, you idiots think I'm going to let anyone else fly Normandy?" Joker added.
"I'm staying as well." Chakwas said firmly.
"Shepard's orders were to scatter." Ashley repeated seriously.
"How long have we known each other Chief?"
"Spectre now. And a long time, Doc."
"What are the odds I'm going to change my mind?" Chakwas demanded.
"Zero." Ashley conceded.
"Thank you."
"I'm staying too." Tali put in. "Normandy is more than my ship; it's my name. It's home."
"And me." Garrus added. "Tali and I aren't Cerberus. We aren't even human. It doesn't matter to us if they lock the ship; we're private citizens of other planets."
"Wait a second!" Ashley spluttered.
"How long have we known each other Joker?" Garrus drawled.
"Yeah, they're staying too, Ash." Joker told Ashley.
A moment later Legion stood up, then Grunt, then Miranda and Jacob. Then Kelly and Daniels... Until the entire crew stood together with their absent leader.
Ashley smiled despite herself. "It's… just like old times, isn't it?"
"A little more so now than it was a week ago." Joker smiled at her.
"How is he?" Tali asked.
Ashley sighed. "I haven't seen him since they locked him up. I came straight here first chance I got after he turned himself over."
"What's your best guess?"
"Shepard has been a pain in the Council's collective ass since Saren, it got worse when he started singing the Gospel of the Reaper Invasion, and he's been a disaster for them since he… died. They are going to roast him slow and sure." Ashley said. "I have to get back before they notice I'm missing. I'm meant to be guarding him."
"Is that what they're calling it now?" Garrus drawled, as only he could.
Ashley knuckled his shoulder and headed for the shuttle-bay, Jacob escorting her. Kelly went too.
The second the door closed, Miranda spun on Tali and Garrus instantly. "Tell me everything you know about that woman."
"She was a soldier we picked up on the first Normandy mission." Tali explained. "She and Shepard got... close."
"How close?"
"Close enough we should be glad Jack isn't here." Garrus put in diplomatically.
"That would be a hull breach waiting to happen." Tali agreed.
"Did it end badly? Is she likely to want revenge against him?" Miranda asked.
"Technically, they didn't end it. You did." Tali shot back.
Miranda cursed under her breath. "I have to make a call."
"The Illusive Man?"
"No. The Shadow Broker."
Ashley climbed into the shuttle, when she heard a voice calling. "Waitwaitwait!"
It was Kelly Chambers, and she had a duffel bag over her shoulder. "Take this with you." She said. "It's Shepard's. After the first Normandy crashed, he started keeping a 'Go-Bag'. He said if the ship was about to crash and he had time to grab only one thing, he'd grab this bag."
"So help me Cerberus, if you're trying to smuggle him a weapon, it's going to make things a hell of a lot worse for him than it will help."
"Personal effects only, I swear." Chambers nodded. "Your house is on fire, you can only grab one thing, why not have all the important stuff in one place?"
Ashley nodded and took the bag. "Chambers, I'm not kidding. Cerberus isn't popular. They're pro-human, and have done so illegally, sometimes violently. Humans killing aliens for the good of humans... it's very touchy right now. The others are Alliance, or Quarian, or Turian, or Krogan... But anyone wearing Cerberus uniform isn't worth a plug nickel right now. You gotta get out of here."
Chambers bit her lip. "I'll talk it over with them."
Shepard had been in the box for over eighteen hours. It was barely the width of the cot, which had neither pillow or padding. He stared at the ceiling for an hour before giving in and taking two of the damn pills. He slept on the shelf and woke up in stiff pain.
Then it got worse, as the lawyers started to arrive. A lot of them. He was taken out of his box under armed guard four times, and he told his story, beginning to end. He knew he was putting several of his crew in danger by tying them to him, but he'd discussed it with all of them on the journey, and they had all agreed. Those on the Normandy who doubted the sheer malevolence of the Reapers before Omega 4 had seen a newborn Reaper with their own eyes, felt the uncleanness of it looking at them, and they all agreed.
The warning had to go out, so Shepard told the whole story, the whole mission. It took hours, and as soon as he was done, they put him back in the box. He slept on his shelf again, fed on bread and water, and then they brought him out for a new set of investigators, and he told it to them all over again.
As bad as it was, he knew it would be worse when they decided on the rules for a trial. The cross-examination was going to be brutal.
Normandy made the cargo drop, including the shattered remains of the hunting drones from around the Collector Base. More than a few of them had made suicide runs against his ship during the fire-fight, and it was the closest thing to evidence they had.
Shepard had brought gun-camera footage from the Suicide Mission also, but the evidence of the actual Reaper had been lost in the escape.
After telling the story for the third time, he was escorted back to his cell. His guard, James Vega, had heard the whole story three times now, having been present in the interrogation room the whole time. It was clear that Vega believed him.
"After everything you've done, you'd think someone would say thank you." Vega said quietly.
"Be careful how loud you say that, soldier." Shepard said lightly. "It could cost you your career."
Vega snorted. "When the killing stops, the politics start."
Well, if we're lucky, it'll always be that way. Shepard thought silently to himself. The alternative is we're all dead when the dust settles.
His thoughts had a tendency to go dark lately. After seeing what happened to the colonists... It was hard not to think of that being ahead for all humanity. It was chilling and depressing and terrible and it was the one thought he could not get rid of.
He was so lost in these thoughts that he didn't realise he wasn't being taken back to his cell. "Where are we going?"
"Under the Uniform Code, a civilian kept in military detention for extended periods has to have a certain standard of living." Vega explained. "We're upgrading your box."
Vega had taken a post directly opposite the door to his new room. The new 'cell' was an improvement. It was an actual set of quarters. A bed with clean sheets, a window that let him see outside, a couch... It felt more like he was a guest that wasn't allowed to leave. No screen, no omni-tool, nothing to do but wait. Still more comfortable. Still a cell.
Sitting on the couch was a familiar bag, and Shepard grinned. Ashley had gone to Normandy, and made it back safe.
Shepard went through the bag Kelly had sent. Ash had removed the survival gear, the heat-sink, the spare omni-tool, and left him with the personal effects. He had a few clothes, a few gifts from people they had helped, one or two books, a Turian blade, a Krogan honor-sash, a Salarian codex, an Asari translation of the Karma Sutra… The Captain of an interstellar star-ship gathered the oddest mementos on his journeys…
The photo of him with Ashley was there too. It was a candid shot of them doing some freelance prospecting on an uninhabited world during their Geth hunts after the battle of the Citadel. Shepard had ordered shore-leave and the Normandy had landed on a gorgeous stretch of beach that nobody had ever walked. Joker had snapped a photo of them without their knowledge,and sent him a copy a week later. She was leaning back against his chest, with his arms wrapped warmly around her waist. They were both looking out over the ocean, as the sunset bathed her hair with a beautiful russet glow, and the landed Normandy framed behind them majestically...
He had shifted the photo from his desk to his bag when things with Jack had become serious. He didn't know if the tattooed woman had even noticed, or if she would care if she did…
"Hi."
Shepard turned. Ashley came in. "Ash?"
She sat down. "Well, Anderson said you would be under the constant surveillance of the highest Council Security. Turns out the highest Council approved security officer available was a new Spectre named Ashley Williams." She smiled brilliantly at him. "Who would have thought?"
Shepard burst out laughing. She joined in. The break in tension lasted a good long time. "I needed that."
"Yeah." Ashley said softly. "Looks like you needed a friend; and as it happens, James Vega agrees, so he was looking the opposite direction when I came in here."
"I have plenty of friends Ash. I just can't talk to any of them right now."
"Well. As it happens, I was about to have dinner when my new orders to guard you came in. Council rules make it illegal for covert surveillance when a Spectre Operative is questioning a suspect."
The door chimed, and she went to the door. Vega was there with a mess tray, piled high. She took it, and shut the door again. "Oh look." She observed. "They gave me two forks instead of one."
Shepard grinned. Ash was bringing him something more than bread and water too. "Ash, you are a marvel."
"Well, hold your applause. There's been some developments." Ashley said. "The Council has agreed to let the trial happen here. They only want the whole thing to be observed, they get veto power if they feel the trial is pro-you in any way, they want a fair trial, but insist on a guilty verdict, and one more thing..."
Shepard thought to over. "They pick the Tribunal."
"And the prosecutor. He's already on his way. They picked a human that worked the legal team to have humanity added to the Council. I don't know him, and I don't think you do, but he sees everything you've done, ever since and including the Blitz as a threat to his attempts to get Humanity respected by the Citadel races."
"Ahh." Shepard grit his teeth. "Which means he knows everything."
She took a breath. "John, you know that they're going to go over your life with a fine tooth comb." She bit her lip. "They've got my testimony too. After Eden Prime, I had to report that you had joined Cerberus. They had all our mission notes from the first Normandy. Including what we thought of them back then."
"That opinion hasn't changed." Shepard promised her. "Needs must when the devil drives, but I broke with them the first chance I could get."
"Maybe so, but… John, you're a by the book guy, but we've both rewritten the book whenever we had to. They are setting up a committee to handle your trial, and they're stacking it with Admirals chosen from the 'shoot him' category. They will have you for lunch."
Silence. They ate for a while, not speaking.
"Do I have a defense counsel yet?" Shepard asked finally.
"Not yet. You're still in custody." Ashley promised. "They won't give you a defense until they set the trial date, and they won't do that till they have all the evidence they need."
"Under Alliance regs, I'm supposed to-"
"You're not Alliance any more." She interrupted. "This has never happened before. You're technically a civilian. The Brass is trying to get Anderson to disown you before you make Earth look bad. A civilian being held under military confinement, being charged with extraterrestrial war crimes is… unprecedented."
Shepard took that in. "How long?"
"A while. Weeks at least. Months more likely."
Shepard swore. "Time. Time is such a tricky animal now. Is there any chance I can come out of this alive?"
"Well... unless the Reapers show up and testify that they exist..." Ashley began.
"Ooh, don't even joke about that."
"What do you expect John? You lit up a Relay. An actually, honest-to-god RELAY."
"I know. I know."
"I mean… it was a freaking Mass Effect Relay, John." Ashley repeated in jaded awe. "Has that ever happened before? At all?"
"Not that I can think of."
"Another place in the history books." Ashley commented. "So yeah, every Spectre in the galaxy wanted a shot at you… I just wonder if..." Ashley shivered. "If they gave me the job because... The order came the day after they got my report from Horizon."
"You think they were trying to buy your loyalty, and your testimony, by making you a Spectre?"
"You went through the same thing." Ashley nodded. "Having to walk the line between Alliance and Council."
"I'm surprised you were even nominated for it. Your suspicion of Council races was never a secret."
She softened. "You know my reasons for that. I've never relied on anyone, not even people I trusted. Especially not politicians.. I didn't trust aliens because… well, they don't trust us. Back at Boot, I was taught: Always fight as fair as the other guy. They're running the Citadel, and nobody got that high up the greasy pole because they were all smiles and kindness."
Shepard took a bite, and debated speaking for a moment. "When I was on the Collector Mission, I spoke with some of the Cerberus crew. My Exec, she told me that too many people wanted to join Cerberus out of Xenophobia. They don't get turned away, but they don't last long. The crew I had… their reasons were not at all unlike you: Not anti-alien, just looking out for their homes and families and race in a universe full of dangers."
"It's a lesson you need to learn too John." Ashley pointed out. "Remember who you're talking to. You can't get the Council to admit Reapers even exist. What do you think the rest of the galaxy will do when the damn bogeymen actually come breathing down their necks?" She let that sink in. "It's not racist to think that their first thought won't be to do what's good for Earth."
"I don't disagree, but we'll need everyone Ash. I've seen the Reapers… Seen the heart of them."
"What do you mean?" Ashley asked, brow furrowed.
Shepard said nothing. The embryonic humanoid Reaper was a recurring theme in his nightmares. He didn't have any nightmares when Jack was curled up next to him. She woke him up when he started to toss in his sleep. They'd protected each other.
He shook his head slightly, trying to banish that thought. She's not coming back. He told himself again, taking his daily stab at closure.
"I wonder…" Ashley murmured.
Shepard reacted. Can she read my mind after all? "What?"
"I… it's been my experience that people protect themselves over someone else. That applies to humans every bit as much as aliens… Then Normandy came along. Tali, Garrus, Wrex… They followed you. None of them trusted you at first. You won them over. They put you above themselves."
"And look what we did." Shepard put in.
"We put the universe on its head Skipper. We did a hell of a thing. I read the report from the Collector mission. Asari, Salarians, Krogan, Quarians and of all things a Geth…"
"Yeah we got them all working together with us."
"Has there ever been a crew like yours? Anywhere in history?"
"Nope."
"And you got them all to work together on a Cerberus ship, of all places..."
"So I guess it wasn't so bad what I did then?"
"Not a chance in all get out that I'm gonna go on the record and support Cerberus' actions." Ashley said lightly.
"Neither am I."
"Yeah, but you worked with them. I go before whatever committee they convene and say the exact same things you do, nobody will listen. You know my family history with politicians."
Shepard said nothing. Her grandfather was a victim of politics after the First Contact War, being the first human general to surrender to an alien commander. The fact that he had no chance against them never entered into it. Her family had been blackballed in the Alliance for generations because of her grandfather. Ashley wasn't xenophobic; she was loyal to her own team. And because of her family stigma, she'd had to be twice as good and twice as loyal to get half the recognition.
"Besides, I got there." Ashley continued. "I'm a Spectre now and everything."
"You know, I was a human Spectre first." Shepard pointed out. "Before it became cool, and everyone was doing it."
Ashley grinned, despite herself. He wasn't mad. "God I missed you Skip."
The memory of Jack came back to him then, and he tried not to let anything show. "It's… been a long time."
Ashley caught the tone. "Is everything okay?"
Shepard just looked at her.
"Other than the obvious?" Ashley amended. "It's weird, isn't it?" She perceived. "Having me here."
"A little. I wouldn't have thought the Council would trust having me guarded by my-"
"Well, they don't know that part. Regs, remember? The crew kept the secret, even after you died. Tali thought it was a stupid rule anyway, Joker knew better than to make any of his funny jokes, Wrex wasn't required to tell any of it to anyone, neither was Liara…"
"Anderson knew." Shepard said quietly.
"I know." Ashley said quietly. "I think that there's very little he doesn't notice. He asked me… if I could be the one to guard you. He can't give you a lot just yet, but he can put a friendly face in the room."
"Is that what you are?"
Boom. There it was.
"Aren't I?" Ashley said after a while.
"Ash…" John said softly. "What do you want from me? You walked away. I was dead for two years, and I missed all of it. It was a week later to me. A week later, we finally found each other again, and you just walked away. Like it was nothing."
"Well what do you want from me?" Ashley shot back. "You were dead. It was a week for you, it was two years for me! You've been there. You know how it screws you up, losing someone. The whole ship went silent after Kaidan, and you… you were our Captain. Heart of the team. We were your crew. And me… You and me were more than that. I put everything into the job after you died. You know me; I had blinders on to the whole galaxy. The whole crew was walking on eggshells around me… I wasn't weak, I was sick. I was heartsick. The way all the poets talk about. You were everywhere I looked; so I stopped looking. I lost you and I wouldn't look at anything I couldn't see through a scope. Spend two years like that… You slept through it, but we didn't. So when I found out you were alive, and working for Cerberus, a terrorist Organization that we tore apart back in the day… I was furious. I was beyond furious."
"I'm not going to apologize Ash." Shepard fired back without pity. "It wasn't exactly my idea. I'm not going to beg forgiveness for something that wasn't my fault."
"I know that!"
"And working with Cerberus wasn't exactly an easy choice. You saw Horizon. People were dying by the hundreds of thousands, and Cerberus was the onlye one that seemed to notice."
"I know that too." She said quietly. "I do now at least. But at the time, all I knew was: You were dead for two years, and then I found out that you never were, and had apparently been working secretly for Cerberus."
Shepard stared at her. "You thought I defected? You actually thought I had turned?"
"No." Ashley said honestly. "But I was maybe the only one that didn't. Command told me to bring you in, because they were sure you had."
Long silence.
"Why didn't you bring me in?" Shepard dared finally.
She looked at him, with those deep defiant eyes. "Why do you think?"
Lighter silence. The unspoken pain was evaporating quickly.
"Aren't we a pair?" She asked ruefully.
"A pair and a full house." Shepard shot back.
She chuckled. "Still with the shameless lines. Cerberus have any greeting card companies under their control?"
"Why not, they got everything else." Shepard was silent for moment. "I have something that belongs to you." He went to his bag, and pulled out a thick green volume. He pulled the plain dust jacket off, revealing a shattered red cover.
Ashley took it with a grin and lipped through the pages. Five Centuries of English Verse. It was her copy, left with Shepard. "You kept this?" She seemed stunned.
"Yeah." Shepard said. "I… It took me a while to find it in the Normandy-1 wreck, but I found it. I figured if we ever met up again... I remember it was a gift from your father..."
"And ask ye why these sad tears stream?" She read softly.
Why these wan eyes are dim with weeping?
I had a dream–a lovely dream,
Of he that in the grave is sleeping."
"'She' not 'he'." Shepard corrected. 'She' that in the grave is sleeping."
"Oh, you know that one." Ashley closed the book. "I liked it better before you picked these quotes up. Made me feel smart. Besides, if he had been writing it about you, it would have been 'he'."
Shepard looked down. "I am very sorry for the pain you went through, Ash."
"And I am very sorry that I blamed you for any of it, Skip."
The trial began a week later. It was a spectacle. The news was there for the whole thing. Because of the sensitive nature of the trail, it was not televised, but several sections of it were recorded and released anyway.
Shepard was momentarily pleased when he'd learned that Anderson was going to be his defender in front of the committee. It didn't last that long.
Anderson leaned over as the trial began. "The human prosecutor got food poisoning the morning he was meant to leave the Citadel. A Salarian name Tolan is running the case against you now. Lot of Council connections. Long history of opposing humanity's inclusion into anything beyond earth."
Ashley was watching the whole thing from the upper levels. She was there to provide security, keep out any instigators or trouble makers, and ensure that the trial was not disrupted. Her omni-tool beeped as the televised trial began.
It was a message from her sister.
Why the hell didn't you tell me Commander Wonderful was back?
Ashley squeezed her eyes shut a moment. This day just keeps getting better.
Jack had been drifting since leaving the ship. She didn't have a plan when she'd left. Since then, she'd taken out some of the Bloodpack. Enough that she'd been noticed by Aria. Aria had hired her, given her money, and housing. Aria had made her a pretty good offer. Decent food, a comfortable bed, an unlimited tab at the bar, drugs and 'company' as she desired… And bad guys to kill.
She had a pretty sweet set-up. All her needs were being met for the first time in her life. It was the first time she'd been willing to stay anywhere. The first time she'd been willing to have something approaching familiar faces.
Shepard had taught her all about being part of something. Aria wasn't good people. Jack knew that. But Subject zero wasn't good people either. Omega was like her. It was what she deserved.
Jack was sitting in a booth as far away from people as she could get. The regulars knew to leave her alone, and she was four drinks into getting a good buzz going.
She'd heard about the trial of course. It was being screamed to the four corners of the galaxy. She had done her best to avoid all mention of it, and of him. She told herself she was making a clean break, but inwardly, she knew better. She wasn't free of it. If she really wanted to avoid the Trial, she wouldn't be here at a bar right now. If she really didn't care any more, she wouldn't have...
"Hey Zero." The bartender called. "They're televising the trial. You wanna see?"
"No." Jack spat thickly. Dammit Shepard. Why'd you have to go back? What's wrong with Miranda-bitch? I would have stopped you.
She threw back her next drink and went up to the bar anyway, watching the screen. He was there. He looked as tired as she felt. Jack wondered idly if he was having trouble sleeping too.
"Commander Shepard." Tolan began to cross examine him. "You've been an Alliance soldier since your eighteenth birthday, correct?"
"Yes."
"And you did your best to be a good Alliance soldier?"
"Yes."
"According to your service records, you've been censured and reprimanded for breaking regulations a total of fourteen times in your career. Four of them during your very first tour, in the middle of a time of war. Namely the Skyllian Blitz. How were you even able to keep your commission after blatantly disregarding your orders?"
"Objection!" Anderson yelled. "Commander Shepard was proven correct during his actions of the Blitz. He received numerous citations for bravery above and beyond the call of duty."
"One wonders about a species that commends people who flagrantly break regulations as soon as it suits their own opinions." Tolan commented. "How do oyu people get anything done?"
"The objection is sustained." The head of the committee responded. "Tolan, the human race is not on trial here. Confine your rhetoric to Commander Shepard."
"As you wish. Former-Commander Shepard. Let's look to what happened after you left the Alliance." The prosecution continued. "I say 'leave' the Alliance, but the truth is you merely traded one human organization of killers-for-hire for another, more militant one. A known pro-human terrorist group called Cerberus. The official Alliance Inquiry states at you were killed in the attack. You look pretty good for a dead man. Care to elaborate?"
"I have only second hand knowledge of the events myself, but I'm told that my body was recovered and taken to a Cerberus Facility called Project Lazarus, where I was... reconstructed."
"Are you suggesting that we believe Cerberus has power over life and death?"
"Not exactly. I'm told the reconstruction took two years, more than one failed attempt and over a billion credits worth of technology and effort."
"Ahh. So you expect the Council to believe that you're really worth the effort it took for the criminals to bring you back. You can tell a lot about someone by how much effort terrorists will put into keeping them alive."
"I'm breathing, I'm not going to say I agree with you." Shepard said lightly, and someone chuckled.
"Why you?" Tolan said plainly.
"You'd have to ask them."
"As soon as you can tell us where to find them, we'd be happy to bring them in for questioning."
"I have no knowledge of that."
"No? They spend hundreds of millions on you, begged you to save the galaxy, and don't tell you anything about themselves?"
"Cerberus is laid out in a series of cells that work independently of each other. During my time with the Alliance, I put a lot of work into shutting them down, but they were... illusive."
"Very illusive. In fact, I have here the official mission reports of your crew from the Normandy, who described the horrors that those Cells created for Cerberus. Some of these were written by you, others by Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. I have another report from Chief Williams right here, detailing your defection from the Alliance to the Cerberus Terrorist Network. I'd like you to read this section here."
Ash heard the comment and was gutted. They're using me against him. She thought bleakly. God forgive me. Dear God, protect him please...
Shepard tensed. Here we go.
Tolan handed over the report. "That section there, please."
Shepard read aloud. "It was clear that Shepard and his Cerberus crew were on horizon for their own agenda, which the Commander was not willing to make clear to this officer, apparently out of a concern that the Alliance may attempt to stop him. Commander Shepard made it clear that Cerberus is responsible for his being alive today, and may have sworn allegiance to them in return for saving his life. He was not under duress from his Cerberus crew, and was in fact putting himself in danger to protect them during the fire-fight, as they did for him." Shepard hesitated, but kept reading Ashley's words. "... It is unlikely that he was abducted. It is clear that he is working with them of his own free will, and given that he was declared dead two years ago by all official authorities, it's likely he has been with Cerberus for some time. It is the opinion of this officer that Commander Shepard may have left the Alliance by choice. Given the known illegal and immoral activities of Cerberus... his apparent death at the Destruction of the Normandy should be investigated more closely... And Commander Shepard be considered a Cerberus Operative by the Alliance."
Unseen by everyone, Ashley bowed her head wretchedly.
"Exactly how long were you working for them?"
"Exactly the length of one mission." Shepard said immediately. "I don't work for Cerberus. During my time with the Alliance I actually shut down a lot of their projects."
"Yes, let's take a look at some of those projects. Project Overlord: A Cerberus scientist decided to hook up his autistic little brother to a Geth to see their brains fight. Hundreds killed, and damn near crashed the exo-web. Project Arakin: A Cerberus operation that required them to lure wild Thresher Maws to settlements on Akuze for purposes of experimenting on them illegally. Hundreds killed. Project Zero: A Cerberus Operation that abducted children straight out of maternity wards and lobotomized them continuously until they reached teenage years. Dozens killed and worse."
"You got the names and descriptions of these projects out of my report." Shepard responded. "I'm the one that shut most of those projects down."
"Glad to see you have such a high moral standard, Shepard." Shot back the prosecutor. "So. What's more likely? That Cerberus threw all this money, equipment, crew and advanced weaponry at your feet, personally built you your own warship just to make you feel at home, and then didn't tell you anything... or that they recruited you, and you're protecting them?"
"I'm not in the habit of covering up criminals and terrorists."
"No? Because I have some fairly compelling evidence to the contrary. I would like to enter into evidence, security camera footage of yet another place that no longer exists because of John Shepard. In this even, a Super-Max Level Prison Facility. Lost with all hands, except for the prisoners, many of whom escaped by killing the guards and taking the transports. All except for one, the worst of the lot.."
The screens lit up again with security camera footage, of jack emerging from Cryo-Sleep, and announcing her emergence with a punch that obliterated three mechs in a microsecond.
Shepard stared at the screen, transfixed. Jack had never looked more dangerous.
Jack looked away, pretending the whole bar wasn't staring at her. It wasn't like she was easy to mistake for anyone else...
"This woman was sought out by Shepard specifically, and never returned to the proper authorities, who had deemed her to spend the rest of her natural life in solitary confinement. She had killed no less than forty three prisoners and guards before being put into suspension. She was put there after a long string of violent offenses against law enforcement, criminals, and civilians. She has a confirmed kill list in the hundreds, possibly thousands. This one prisoner, a highly unstable biotic without a name, known only as Subject Zero, was actually rescued the exploding prison by Commander Shepard personally, when hundreds of staff and guards, all of them law-abiding citizens, were allowed to burn with the facility. You broke this woman out, bribing a guard to make it happen, and killing anyone who tried to recapture her."
"Leave her out of this!" Shepard snarled.
Jack looked up at the screen sharply. The glass in her sudden fist exploded.
The sudden anger took Tolan by surprise. Everyone else watching too.
"As you wish." Tolan said politely. "Let's talk about the rest of your crew... A Quarian: Tali-Zorah, her file has been listed as 'Under Review' by the Quarian Admiralty, after she was brought up on charges of high treason against her people..."
"She was exonerated of those charges!"
"The Turian: Garrus, formerly a C-Sec Officer, currently wanted for questioning connection with several Vigilante Killings on the Citadel-"
"Enough, damn it-"
"A Geth, which you kindly took in and gave a name, like it's a real person..."
"ENOUGH!" Shepard roared.
The word hung in the air, the court gone dead silent.
"Not in the habit of covering up terrorists and criminals?" Tolan drove the point home. "Your whole crew is terrorists and criminals. And that was before you got anywhere near the Batarian Relay."
Those watching the trial roared, some in disbelief, some in anger.
Ashley never took her eyes off Shepard. He looked... lost. Broken. The Hero of the Human Race, hanging his head.
Tolan kept hammering, playing to the Committee, the crowd, the cameras... "I question your loyalty commander Shepard. I question your action. You are a traitor to your people, your species, your government and all the free people of the galaxy. You're a terrorist and a criminal, in command of a crew of terrorist and criminals. And the only thing you can offer in your defense is a bad camp-fire story."
"A bad camp-fire story that's abducted whole colonies." Anderson roared.
"You know who else abducts colonies? Batarian slavers. I have here about thirty pages of incidents where they've done so. Tell me Shepard: Was that why you blew so many of their civilians to hell?"
Jack turned away from the screen in disgust. They were using her against him. She knew they would eventually. She was a death-dealer. She left pain and murder in her wake wherever she went. It was why she had left him. Left them all.
And it hasn't worked. Only you. Jack told herself. Only Subject Zero could destroy an honestly good person from light years away.
"I'm going to need several more of these." She told the bartender, draining her glass in one swallow. "And if you have anything stronger, I'll take a set of those too.
They finally released him and Vega marched him back to his room. Vega had the good sense to be very quiet on the march, but Shepard could tell the huge gorilla of a man was looking to beat something up.
Shepard made it back to his room and didn't bother with the lights. He went to the window and sat on the windowsill, trying to get himself straightened out.
Seeing Jack's face again had been… unexpected. The trial was a character assassination, expertly done. It stood to reason they'd focus on the worst parts first. The denunciations of former crew (Or more), the affiliations with criminals and terrorists…
Besides, wasn't it true? Wasn't Jack guilty of all the things they'd said? They found her in a super-max prison. None of the charges against her were false. Nothing they said about her was unfair… The fact that he cared for her during their mission didn't change that… not even if he… what? Did he love her? She had left after only a few weeks. They were together as more than crew only a few nights…
She's not coming back. He told himself. She told you she wasn't coming back. She snuck out of bed and broke up with you via email, if you were ever really a couple at all.
He had no mementos of her. Just a few scars and his memories. They would have to be enough.
The door opened behind him. He knew it was Ashley. He was under detention, though the room was better now. She was his guard during the trial.
She looked around. "John?"
"I'm here."
She turned on a light.
"I prefer it dark." He said simply. It was easier to clear his head when he wasn't looking at as much. It was easier to see out the window at night with the lights off too. A trick that jack had taught him.
She turned the light back off and followed the moonlight to the window, sitting across from him at the windowsill. Two of them in the dark, with the moonlight between them.
"Do… do you want me to leave?" She asked carefully. "I wouldn't blame you."
Shepard suddenly realized. She was feeling guilty. Of course she was. Ashley had never known about Jack. "No." He said. "You can stay."
She came in. They didn't say anything to each other. Shepard stayed at the window, looking out over the base, and the distant horizon.
"It's good to be home." Shepard offered softly at last. "I've spent a lot of last night looking out this window. You can see the city at night. Did I ever tell you about that?"
Ashley nodded. "Yeah. About the gangs, and the warehouses, and the cat, and your brother. You told me all of it."
"I never once looked back when I joined up. Never thought I'd be back here." Shepard said softly. "I honestly thought I'd be dead by now."
Ashley shivered. "I'm glad you were wrong about the Collector mission. I couldn't lose you a second time."
Shepard smiled despite himself. He was glad to see her again. Losing her had been a knife in the gut, because he hadn't had any choice in the matter. He'd just woken up and everyone was gone. It had taken a lot of work to pull back as many of them as he had. Of all of them, Ashley was the one to say no.
Of all of them, a traitorous little voice said, Ashley was the one that felt betrayed.
He had a lot of bridges to build.
Jack came into her latest hideout and weaved her way over to the bed. She fell forward onto it and missed, smacking into the floor. Cursing drunkenly, she clambered gracelessly to the bed, and felt her stomach twist at the attempt. She'd barely managed to get her head turned away from the sheets before she threw up.
Groaning painfully as she heaved, she sat on the floor; trying not to fall forward.
No chance of sleeping now. She thought miserably. Another night staring at the walls.
She needed to sleep. She'd stopped cutting, she'd stopped smoking, she was even letting her hair grow out, but she still needed to sleep.
You know what you need.
Jack ignored that thought, and went to her pack. Seeing three of everything, she turned it upside down and scattered everything she owned on the floor. The jar of pills was at the bottom of the bag.
Jack hated drugs. She'd taken too many of them in her life and knew first-hand how hollow they were. Fake pleasures, fake feelings, fake responses. Just like Teltin.
Anything associated with Teltin she avoided like the plague. But they would make her sleep. She had slept soundly with Shepard, and she hadn't slept properly since. She'd found that she had developed a taste for being unconscious the whole night, and finally gave in on day five without Normandy.
She tipped a whole handful into her mouth and swallowed them dry. She knew that a triple dose of sleeping pills on top of throwing up a three hour bender was bad. She didn't much care. If she never woke up, it wouldn't bother her that much.
Sorry John.
"I remember when I first shipped out." Shepard said. "I looked out the window and I saw earth for the first time. Until then, earth had been that city. The slums at the lowest end of it. Abandoned buildings, forgotten streets… I wasn't going to miss any of it, and then I looked out the window of the shuttle and I saw earth from space for the first time. Ash, it was beautiful. It was the first time I realized how amazing my home could be. I came back to earth for every leave after that. I never came back to… that wretched city, but I loved Earth. I close my eyes and I can remember every detail of what I saw that first day." He smiled at her. "It's what you said. About how the more of the universe you see, the easier it is to see God everywhere."
"Let the sweet fresh breezes heal me
As they rove around the girth
Of our lovely mother planet
Of the cool, green hills of Earth." Ashley recited.
"We've tried each spinning space mote." Shepard continued.
"And reckoned its true worth:
Take us back again to the homes of men
On the cool, green hills of Earth."
Shepard grinned. Ashley wasn't one for speeches. She had often told him that she never knew what to say, but the poems her father had taught her helped. She knew so many of them by heart, and could always find one to express what she was trying to get across.
"Why'd you learn all these things anyway?"
"Same reason anyone does anything." Shepard said without hesitation. "To impress a girl."
"Hm. Anyone I know?" Ashley drawled.
Silence.
"Missed you." He whispered back in the dark.
"I missed you." She said quietly.
Jack's memory came back to him then. He tried to push it away. It didn't feel right to think about her when here with Ashley.
Her gaze narrowed, just the tiniest bit, like she was trying to read his mind as his expression changed.
"You remember Gunny Ellison?" Ashley asked him.
"From Boot? Yeah." Shepard said. He and Ashley had gone to the same training center on Macapa, and had the same drill sergeant."
"He served in the First Contact War." She said. "Did you know that?"
Shepard blinked. "No."
Ashley nodded. "He was a Master Chief. Led a team of marines against one of their Teams." She let that sink in. "It was a disaster. He lost the whole crew. The operation failed because the defenses stayed up, and the guy was busted down to Gunny For his trouble. That's why he was in Boot. Knew more about the worst of combat than a lot of soldiers. It was his job to see what he was made of. When I was promoted to Lieutenant commander, I met some of his old Unit. They said that he carried them around for a long time. All the what ifs, all the ghosts, all the questions. You've see the type. They let all the crap people like us go through… isolate them. They get loaded down with so much and... it starts to show on their face after a while. Nobody comes to them after that because they don't want to make it worse, and guys like Ellison just get more… isolated. They snap more, stress more, get crabby, go cold…"
Shepard looked at Ashley, waiting for the point.
"Back on Normandy… the real one, not the Cerberus one, we all came to you with our problems, our worries, and you were so good at making us better. It's what made you the best Captain we ever could have wished for. You were an answer to a prayer a lot of the time. For most everyone we met on our journeys in fact… I liked that you came to me. Even the broadest shoulders can't carry everything, and I liked… helping. If nothing else, I was glad I could make you forget about it for a while, keep you company."
She had leaned forward. They were close now. So close. He could smell her hair clearly. She wasn't propositioning him, just letting him know she was there, letting him become comfortable with her proximity again. Like it used to be. Her and him alone together after a hard day, letting the pressure ease between the two of them.
"So… you know. You've had the stuffing beat out of you today, and it's going to be worse tomorrow." Ashley said simply. "I just wanted you to know that even after all the things I said in that report, even after all the hell I put you through, even after they put me on the stand tomorrow and tell me to raise my right hand… It doesn't change my feelings for you. Not one little bit. If I could go back to any point in my life and do something differently, it would be that day on Horizon colony."
She leaned forward then, put a long soft kiss on his cheek. He lifted a hand and cradled her neck, not embracing her, just keeping her close to him a moment. Three years faded to nothing. It was just like it had always been.
She pulled back, smiling gently at him. "Goodnight John."
"Night Ash."
She left him then, closing the door behind her gently, and Shepard let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. It was the first time he'd realized that he never stopped loving her.
Jack's memory came back to him then, and he felt a spike of guilt. He knew it was stupid to feel that way. She had left, and for exactly this reason. Emotion made things too real for Jack. Ashley wasn't afraid of it.
Ashley is right. Shepard thought to himself. Doubt and guilt and what-ifs will bury you. Especially for a soldier. Jack's gone. She's not coming back. It doesn't make your feelings for her any less valid, it just means she's world's away, never to be seen again, by her choice.
Without letting himself think about it too much, Shepard went back to his bag, drew out Ashley's picture, and set it on the table beside his bed.
Jack woke up and could barely move. There was no pain, just… fogginess. It felt like something in her head was stopping her from moving. She was not new to the feeling, but she wasn't restrained. She just couldn't make her eyes open.
Then memory came to her slowly, also sluggishly, and she tried to summon the energy to groan.
Her hands fumbled around the floor next to her bed, finding a pill bottle, already opened. She pulled it back to her face, and shook a few pills into her mouth. The drugs did their work and Jack's eyes opened, her head clearing.
It wasn't the first time she'd fixed one problem by giving herself five more, but she didn't much care. She hadn't slept properly since Normandy. She hated to think of what that meant. Shepard was her new drug. The only one that worked... and she'd run away.
Great. Another day.
She fought to stand up, grabbed a tin of something edible and ate it, straight from the can without tasting it, or knowing what it was. She looked around for something to occupy her till dark, when she found a box waiting on the table. It hadn't been there the night before.
Suspicious, she opened it. A space line ticket to Mars, and a data key for an omni-tool. She uploaded it, and a recording began to play.
"Hello Jack. You may not remember me. I am Liara T'Soni."
The Shadow Broker?
"I am trusting this message to a courier that does not know the source, or the purpose of the message. You're good at staying hidden, but you are not known for your subtlety. I was able to find you with little effort. If you have allowed my courier to live, he has nothing of any use to you. Enclosed is a ticket to Mars on the Please come to Mars Immediately. Shepard needs you."
Jack felt a chill. If she went back, she'd have to face him. She was not a coward. Not by any stretch. But she had never once had to go back to face a problem she'd walked away from. She'd never looked back in her life. Nobody had ever been part of her life twice.
If she ignored the message, she could… what?
You're good at being alone Jack, but you don't enjoy it any more. maybe you never really did.
Don't go. Do not go. I'm not going. I can get there faster if I ignore the ticket and steal a Blue Suns transport. Aw, nuts.
AN: ME3 comes out in a few weeks, and I will be finishing this. But the previews indicate that the ME1/2 LI triangles are going to be a major part of the storyline, and I wanted to prepare for that so that I could focus on the new game and whatever it was going to bring.
To do that, I had to make it a legitimate triangle between the three of them, especially as Ash is the anti-Jack. Ashley was mentioned, but absent from the fic thus far, so I had to bring her back and balance the scales.
Bring on game three, and with it, the ending of this story.