AN: If you've read my other fics, you know that I can write action better than this, but the focus of this story is what happens between the battles.
Tali stormed into the War Room. "Is it true?" She demanded.
Shepard growled under his breath. "Not a conversation I've been looking forward to." He mumbled before turning to face her. "Tali… Think about this for a second. They went to the Reapers because it was their only shot for survival."
"They're Machines. They don't die, they get unplugged." Tali argued.
"Not for long." Shepard said calmly.
"What?"
"The Reaper signal." Shepard explained. "The Reaper code didn't make them follow Reaper orders. It made them smarter. Legion still has the code. We upload it, and we make them-"
"You want to give them the code!" Tali screeched like a horrified singer.
"I made a deal with the Geth." Shepard snapped. "They get the code, they become sentient, they agree to a ceasefire; they help against the Reapers."
Tali stared at him silently for a long time. A very long time. "You what?"
"Tali, I'm holding them to ransom. They don't get the code, you'll wipe them out. The only alternative is that they turn to the Reapers… And that's our next stop."
"So the Geth are sentient. Why would they want to share Rannoch?"
"Because they know what they're doing. If they're going to have any future in the Galaxy, they've got to start acting like a culture and not a bunch of machines with screws loose. This is their show of good faith."
"It's a hell of a big one."
"The Quarian have to match it."
Tali hit the roof. "You did this without telling my people? Without telling me?"
"Tali, making this happen in secret is the only way it's ever going to happen!" Shepard argued.
"You're holding my people to ransom too. They don't agree with you, the Geth wipe them out once they get the smart-drug you're pushing on them."
"Well Admiral, that sounds like the definition of your job." Shepard said evenly. "Your fleet is in danger. Against the Geth under the signal, they don't have a prayer. Against the Geth once they become sentient, they don't have a prayer. Your people started this war Tali. There are only two options. End it, or lose it."
Tali got in his face. "There's a third option and you damn well know it. Don't give them the code. My people will mop them up inside an hour."
"Your people… can't win a war against the Geth and then the Reapers." Shepard said, soft and regretful.
Tali slapped him. "You better hope this works Shepard, because if my people burn, you burn with them."
The fight with Tali had been exhausting. Tired already, Shepard went to the Mess hall. He had breakfast waiting for him. The Alliance was very good about the Officer's Table.
Jack was there in seconds. He hadn't noticed her coming in, which probably meant she was trying not to be seen. She sat down next to him, and started stealing food off his tray. "Bacon. Real bacon. Nice."
"Captain's Privilege."
"It ain't fair that you get this and skip so many damn meals. Can you tell them to give it to me if you don't want it? Or is that something reserved for Williams? I'm the one putting out here, y'know."
"Good morning to you too, Jack."
Jack lowered her voice. "Did you sleep?"
Shepard almost smiled. "Yeah."
Jack almost smiled back. "Me too." She admitted softly.
It was like a naughty secret kept between them. Something they couldn't tell anyone about. Something that was just theirs, just them, and they couldn't share it.
"Same time tonight?" Shepard asked finally.
"Morning."
They both looked up, and saw Ashley coming over with a tray in her hand. She sat down without being invited, on Shepard's immediate left. Jack straightened in her chair, her face a perfect stone wall instantly, and she growled out a greeting.
They all ate silently until Joker came over and sat down. He wasn't even trying to hide his amusement.
Ashley sitting on his left, Jack on his right, and Joker opposite, trying not to stare or grin.
This cannot possibly be my life. Shepard thought.
EDI came to his rescue by piping in a message. "Jack, you have an encrypted Info-packet downloading."
Jack rose. "I've been expecting this, see you later."
Leaving Ashley and Shepard alone with Joker.
Williams met Joker's eyes. "Go on. Say it. It's been on the tip of your tongue since you sat down."
Joker grinned. "Merry Christmas Shepard; Naughty and nice." He then gave a high-pitched yelp and sat very still.
"And which am I, funny man?" Ashley drawled.
"I refuse to answer on grounds that you have me under duress." Their pilot said quickly. He twitched. "Very extreme duress."
Shepard smirked. "Shouldn't have let her get her hands under the table, Joker."
Liara came into the Mess Hall at a run and threw herself at the Officer's Table. "Tali told her people. She gave them the Mission Plan. The Fleet will mobilise in twenty minutes."
"Why in God's name would they attack now, while the Reaper Signal is still active?" Ashley demanded, feeling her heart-rate spike.
Shepard was already moving. "Tali's trying to force my hand. Cut off the signal, and attack before the Geth can get regroup. Ash, get Vega, get Garrus, get Legion, we hit the Base right now!"
"Mind if I wait up here?"
Joker, EDI, Liara and Traynor turned as one to face her. She shrank a little under their attention.
"Of course not." Joker said grandly. "Find a good spot. This is a really big night for you."
"Tell me about it." Tali said.
The cockpit radio was keyed to the Fleet frequency. They could hear all parties involved. Tali twisted, trying to look out every port at once. The two fleets were gathering, flying around like swarms of angry wasps, slowly forming larger groups, until the two sides were clearly defined, preparing for the final battle.
The feeling was everywhere. Ending everywhere. Everything was ending. Everything coming down to the wire. The whole galaxy had the feeling of being at the end of the story. The Rannoch war, the Krogan, the Rachni, the Reapers, Earth, the Citadel...
Everywhere that had people, there was the sense that time was ending. As if the stars were going out, and death chasing every shadow.
Two races had brought centuries of war to this place, and it was not long before only one was left.
And Tali had made sure the confrontation happened.
"I don't disagree with him you know." Tali said quietly.
"Did I ask?" Joker returned cannily.
"No, but..." Tali wrung her hands, feeling the need to excuse what she did, explain it away to someone. "I want peace as much as he does, and if you think I'm not loyal to Shepard after everything he's done... The Geth are the enemy. They were my father's enemy. His father, and his father, back and back and back, all the way to the days when people knew what Quarian's looked like. I can't just pretend that Shepard knows better."
EDI piped up. "What if he does?"
Tali was about to respond when the console lit up, the radio crackled, and the familiar voice came from the planet's surface.
"Shepard to Fleet, target is painted, fire at will!"
"Copy that Shepard." Raan responded.
In space everything was silent. Vibrations carried through the hull to make noise when a ship fired, but the Normandy was only one shot out of the thousands that the Quarian sent toward the planet, EDI guiding the thousands of rounds of ordinance to where Shepard pointed them. A rainbow of brightly lit death flying away from the Fleet toward a focal point on the Planet, so far away they couldn't see it.
"Hope Shepard was far enough back." Joker commented blandly.
"It worked! The signal is offline!" EDI commented, sounding excited, at least for her.
The assembled members of the crew cheered.
"He did it!" Tali breathed. "Now we find out…"
"Shepard to fleet! Shepard to fleet!" The Commander's voice came back with a roar. "It's not a Reaper base! It's a Reaper! There's a Reaper down here!"
At once the rest of the Normandy crew swore, running to battle-stations. The bridge was clear of non-essential personnel. Except for Tali. She had nowhere else to go.
"Joker! The Reaper took some damage from the orbital strike! I need another strike fast!"
"EDI, are the Fleet targeting computers still following our telemetry?"
"Affirmative Jeff."
"Shepard, we're ready, give us a targe-"
Everyone jumped as the radio speakers were maxed out suddenly. A Reaper's Siren screamed out to them from a world away.
Tali felt her hearts stop. The Reaper's call was the Death Knell. It was the scream that came before the strike. And nothing survived that strike.
Just then, the control panel lit up.
"I have a target!" EDI called unnessecarily.
"FIRE!" A thousand odd Quarian voices roared in the same moment. The blackness of space lit up again, but not nearly as much.
"Tali, what the hell are your people doing?" Joker yelled.
"Forty percent of the Heavy Fleet are redeploying for Orbital combat." EDI reported.
The console lit up again.
"FIRE!" Another chorus of fleet commanders answered instantly, another flurry of pyrotechnics.
"What are the Geth doing?" Tali demanded.
"I have detected no movement, no transmissions from the Geth Fleet." EDI responded promptly. "Quarian Forces are mobilising. Time to optimal firing range on Geth forces: three minutes."
And then there was silence. The huge Migrant fleet was moving. Everything that could fly was retrofitted to battle, and was now closing on their oldest most hated enemy, while the rest of the Universe didn't even notice.
"We stopped getting targets painted down there." Tali whispered finally.
"It could mean the target was destroyed." EDI suggested optimistically.
Nobody wanted to say it out loud. The more likely scenario was that Shepard was dead. With the exception of the mutant Thresher Maw, so far nobody had been able to put a scratch on the surface of a full blown Reaper. It had taken the combined firepower of an entire Fleet to take down Sovereign…
EDI turned to her console. "The Admiralty does not seem to be hesitating. They are closing in on the Geth Fleet."
"And what are the Geth doing?" Joker asked.
"They are… still not moving."
Tali's hands were wringing themselves frantically, barely registering their conversation. "The last time I talked to him…" She whispered. "I yelled at him. I was so awful to him before he left."
"You?" Joker asked in surprise. "Why?"
"He wants the Quarian and the Geth to ally against the Reapers."
"That's about as realistic as Jack's tearducts and Ashley's lips." Joker laughed that off.
"That's what I said." Tali agreed. "But…"
"Tali'Zorah, may I make a personal observation?" EDI asked.
"Sure."
"It seems that given the proven Reaper presence on Tuchanka and Rannoch, that the choice is simple. Adapt or die. It's not a new choice, but the sakes have been raised."
Tali took that in. "EDI? I… I come from a people that dread AI the way most people dread monsters… I always liked you. On a good day I could even handle Legion. But I don't know if… I just don't know."
The radio crackled.
"What was that?" Tali spun, hands wringing crazily. "Was that a transmission?"
Joker worked his controls. "I don't…"
The radio crackled again. "This is Captain John Shepard Vas Normandy."
Tali sagged. "Oh Keelah, he's alive!"
"Members of the Quarian Fleet." Shepard's voice called, clear and commanding. "The Reaper is dead. Before it went offline, it spoke to me. It said that the cycle of destruction is required, because they are not us. Not organics. They said that our two kinds could never live in peace, and that is why they come to harvest us. The Reapers see it as the only way our two kinds of life could both live; is if one is completely enslaved. They offer this world as proof. They will do to us what you want to do to the Geth, for the exact same reasons."
The two attack fleets were closing in on each other.
"The motive that drives the Reapers to make all life extinct every 50,000 years is being played out here on Rannoch, right now. I just gave the order to have benign Reaper code uploaded to all Geth platforms, and AI software. The Geth will no longer decide by consensus, they will each have free will. In a few moments, they will cross over from artificial intelligence, to true artificial life. Actual sentience. And they do not want war. I say again, the do not want war."
He let that sink in.
"Any change from the Quarian?" Tali whispered.
"No. But the Geth lines are... changing." Joker reported.
EDI piped up. "Their tactics are changing, becoming... smarter."
Shepard's voice came back. "You've spent centuries trying to get an edge over this enemy, in the hopes of seeing the world I am currently standing on. I'm giving you the way right now. The way home. To achieve everything your people, and the Geth could be capable of. The way to do it is to not shoot. The Geth do not want war, and that leaves the choice now to you. If you fight, they will defend themselves, as all sentient creatures will, and they will almost certainly win in the next few hours. I made sure of it. But they are not the enemy, not limited by Machine thinking. They can make the leap to let go of the past now; and it's up to you to do the same."
Tali was wringing her hands, barely aware of anything but the voice of Commander Shepard.
"If ever you're going to make a choice without hate; it has to be this one." Shepard commanded.
The thought hung in the air, the words passing through hundreds of millions of worried suspicious warriors poised for the final battle.
"Keelah Se'lai." Shepard finished, soft as a psalm.
Tali reached forward compulsively. "Commander Shepard speaks with the authority of Admiral Tali'Zorah. Do not fire!" She put the radio down instantly. "Oh please, let that be the right thing to do."
There was a long beat.
"This is Admiral Raan, I concur; do not fire."
"Admiral Xen votes for a ceasefire!"
The fleets stopped moving. Both of them, with less than a hundred miles between them, and centuries of reasons to kill each other, the guns were silent.
Peace.
Peace on Rannoch.
No longer an AI rebellion, no longer a Geth occupation.
Peace.
More than peace. Alliance. The Geth were already offering their services to rebuild the cities, restore the infrastructure.
And fight for Earth. Shepard was the Peacemaker, and he'd saved both fleets from wiping each other out, and spared them from finding out which side would be extinct at the end. His price was help to fight the Reapers.
With an immense Reaper already on Rannoch, the two sides were motivated to protect themselves. With the beast lying dead after Shepard was done with it, they were hopeful.
It put the fleet over the top. It was suddenly the largest military force in the history of the known Universe. The biggest fleet, united against a common enemy, for the first time in fifty thousand years.
The biggest fleet since the Reapers had killed the last one this size.
Shepard had to report in as soon as they returned to Normandy. They returned and found a party happening. Only a few Quarian were on board, but those that were there celebrated. A few ships had taken damage, or rescued crashed ships and escape pods. Some of their crew evacuated to the Normandy, and never got the chance to return to their own ships.
There was a party going on by the time the heroes of the hour made it back. The Ground Team for this mission had spent the better part of an hour being congratulated, thanked, and asked for the whole story in detail.
After a while, Ashley noticed that Shepard wasn't there. And it took a few moments to realise that Jack wasn't either.
Jack summoned the elevator and froze as she discovered Ashley in it too.
Jack didn't waste time. "Have you spoken to him since we got back?"
"No. You?"
"Haven't even seen him." Jack admitted. "He's not in the War Room. I was just there. He reported in, she put Legion's name on the memorial, and he went to his room. It was the biggest victory of the whole damn war, and he's acting like it's a funeral."
Ashley took that in a moment. "Jack, can I tell you something without you wanting to hit me in the face?"
"No." Jack said honestly.
"Well... I'm telling you anyway." Ashley said without hesitation. "The boat you're in? I was in it once. I saw him smiling and laughing with Liara, and I figured I didn't have a shot. Then Kaiden died... And suddenly we were us. Of all the things to bond over, losing a brother was the worst way, but it was us."
"He and Liara have been thick as thieves while you were gone." Jack put in. "Are we worried about that?"
"No." Ashley snorted. "She's his best friend."
Jack nodded. "It's always you guys, isn't it?" She said finally. "You, Shepard, Tali, Garrus and Liara. The four of you have always been the centre of this... whatever it is. You guys are the special ones. Joker too, and Wrex, but those two kept coming and going a lot."
"So did I." Ashley conceded.
Jack stared hard at her. Yes. She answered, but only in her head. But you've been on his desk, smiling at him the entire time you were gone. Even when he was cuddling me all night long, and what the f...
"Come on." Ashley said finally as the elevator opened. "Let's go see if we can convince him to look at the big picture."
Jack followed. "You asking for my help?"
"Nope, but it's gonna take two of us to drill sense into his skull."
Jack snorted, forced to agree with that. "Hey, was I imagining it, or was Tali slurping down booze through a straw?"
Shepard looked up from his scotch bottle as they both came in. "It's happening all over again." He sighed. "I traded Mordin for the Krogan, I traded Legion for the freaking Geth, to say nothing of the fact that Tali hates me. And both times... I honestly don't know what happens now. They're sentient at last, but maybe the Reapers can still hack the Geth. Again. Or what happens if the Krogan go berserk and start conquest of the galaxy? Or the Rachni? I think I'm solving one Armageddon by setting us up for five more." He waved at the door. "Liara made a black box for this cycle, so that 50,000 years from now, there'll be a record. She's recording me as the hope of all civilisation. Assuming anyone survives the Reapers, and the Rachni, and the Krogan, and the Geth, the history books will probably name me the death of the universe."
"Not if I have anything to say about it." Ashley said instantly, taking the bottle off him, taking a log pull herself, and passing the bottle to Jack.
Jack sighed hard and took a swig. "John." She leaned forward and took his hands in hers. "I grew up fighting kids to the death. Some of them just wouldn't fight back by the time they got to me. They kept putting us in the ring over and over, and some of them just didn't want to fight it any more. So I did what they wanted me to do and I ended it. The worst case scenario... ain't never what you think it is. Not for everyone. Maybe you have signed us up for a thousand year war but the Geth don't want universal extinction like the Reapers do. We know that now. The very worst case you could deal on everyone, ain't even close to as bad as what the Reapers will do."
Jack suddenly noticed Ashley staring at her in disbelief. The beautiful woman's jaw was hanging open, looking Jack up and down with fresh eyes.
Jack felt an icy cold hand squeeze her gut. In trying to help Shepard, only the third time in her life she'd consciously tried to help anyone, she'd just bared her soul to Ashley Williams?
Jack bolted for the door instantly.
Ashley's head nearly spun following her, and Shepard raised a hand as the door closed behind her. "Let her go."
"You sure?"
"Yeah." Shepard nodded. It was what she did.
"She's right though, whatever happens, it's better than the alternative.
"Maybe so, but Raan says there's going to be statues of me in every city they build. You don't put someone like me on a statue. How does a man that turns loose all the worries people have on them, somehow get branded the hope of the universe?"
The door opened again, and Tali came in, bouncing on her heels. "Shepard, I love you! I love you thiiiiiiis much!" She spread her arms wide.
Shepard stared at her. "Tali, are you drunk?"
"Naw, nooooo, I don' get drun', I may be just a little bit drunk." She held two fingers together closely. "Little bit. Tiny, like this much."
Ashley couldn't help it. She was smiling. "How do you even get drunk?"
"Veeeeeeery Carefully." Tali said slowly. "There may have been a party. I think there was Turian brandy involved, triple filtered. I was interested, because I never drank anything before. So I got an emergency induction port…"
Ashley smothered a giggle. "You mean a straw?"
"Emergency induction straw." Tali corrected. "Port, and I started sampling. The first few sips were bad, but the third glass was gooooood."
Shepard was trying not to laugh. His eyes were lit up in a way they hadn't been in months, and his lip was twitching.
Ashley saw an opportunity. "Don't smile Shepard, your face will break." She said seriously. "I don't care how cute Tali is while drunk."
"She's right, I'm adorable." Tali slurred. "By the way, can I ask you guys something? Why the hell does Ashley still call you 'Shepard'? It's a little bizarre, right? I mean, since you've… what's the right way to say it for humans? I can't remem-ber… Done it?"
It was too much. Shepard burst out laughing.
Tali was thrilled. "Ohh! You're laughing; does this mean we're friends again?"
"Damn straight it does."
"Ohhh good. I was worried. You did it John. You did it. I don't know how you did it, but Ancestors preserve us all, you did it." Tali drawled happily. "I'm going to live on the Homeworld! I'm..." She sniffed. "I got reports of some of the things the Geth are doing now... one of them, is reprogramming our suit interfaces to get us adapted to micro-stimuli. Our immune systems will be normal in five years. Seven at the outside. We won't need the suits. Our ships are full of children that will never need a mask!" She toasted with her empty glass. "And we got there from peace. We didn't figure it out, it was a gift from someone we hated. Our lives are so much better than we ever dreamed we could make it... Shepard, it's all thanks to you."
Ashley sent Shepard a quick glance. He was still smiling. He wasn't arguing. From Tali he believed it. From her it was real.
"Thanks Tali." He said gently.
"Shepard..." Tali slurred, just a little. "I... am coming with you when we leave. I want to help."
Shepard and Ashley traded a quick glance. It was still a suicide mission before them. Not the first one they'd beaten, but luck was such a tricky thing to count on.
"Tali, you've done your bit for king and country. Go home, enjoy the spoils, keep your name of my wall." Shepard told her.
"Shepard, my people are free, but they aren't safe." Tali said. "I gotta make them safe. You gave us a home and blew up a Reaper to christen it. I'm gonna go blow up a lot more of them."
"Tali..."
"You say we'll make it, and I'll believe you." The young drunk said.
"We'll make it." Shepard told her. It was what she needed to hear right now.
"Good." Tali slurred. "Ash; don't make a thing of this."
Ashley blinked, not following. "Of what?"
Tali didn't answer. Instead, she reached up to her face plate. With a vacuum hiss, she pulled it away gently, and pulled back her hood. Ashley felt her jaw drop open again. Nobody could remember what the Quarian looked like without their masks. Nobody alive had ever seen one, and no record had survived the Geth rebellion. Ashley was holding her breath as her young friend Tali transformed into an exotic stranger.
Her skin was a dusty, subtle blend of lavender and pink, her features humanoid, with a deep natural beauty. Her hair was short, with a permanent weave of curls from a lifetime under the hood. Her skin was drawn with symmetrical line, like long delicate beauty marks, that drew curving contours down her neck and throat. Her eyes glowed with pale white radiance that felt warm and soft to look at.
She smiled nervously up at him, and her teeth were gleaming from a lifetime of protein supplements, her canines a little longer and sharper than human.
Bare from the shoulders up for the first time, Tali stepped forward and gave Shepard a warm kiss on the cheek. "I am adorable; yes?" Tali asked him sweetly.
"Yes." Shepard chuckled.
"Good. Because in purple? I'm gorgeous." Tali slurred, resting her bare cheek against Shepard's chest, arms wrapped around him. "Keelah, you're wonderful." She gurgled, and promptly passed out in Shepard's arms.
Liara was amazing. She'd gotten details that Jack would never have thought to look for. Shepard wasn't acting anything like himself since the war started, at least, not the way he'd always shown her…
Shepard's military record was there too. The Skyllian Blitz... he'd held a line there for eight months, after 80% casualties...
That kinda killing messes with your head. Jack thought to herself. No wonder he was willing to hold me together. He knew the feeling. Wonder if Ashley held him together back then...
It hit her like a thunderbolt. Shepard wasn't like Ashley... he was like her! He was Subject Zero inside, as she was outside.
And he doesn't need someone as screwed up as he is. Jack thought, the revelation so whole it nearly knocked her off her feet. The nagging doubt she couldn't figure out was suddenly so clear. Ashley will be good for him. Ashley will heal him, the way I needed Shepard to heal me...
The Great Calm washed over her again. Yes. She could do this.
"Commander Shepard to the War Room, Commander Shepard to the War Room immediately."
Hackett's hologram came up quickly. "Commander, word's gotten out about what you did on Rannoch. The Council is… just stunned. You finally got their attention."
Shepard snorted. "I doubt it. The Council doesn't have a Quarian or Geth rep. Rannoch isn't them, so why would they care?"
"Well, maybe it has something to do with the several thousand ships that have suddenly pledged themselves to our fleet, saying they're there on your orders. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you found a Reaper on Rannoch and killed in minutes. All I know is, the Asari ambassador is ready to talk. She says that the Asari have Prothean data. They've been keeping it a secret, but apparently it may tell you where to find the power source for this damn weapon."
Shepard nearly hurt himself he straightened so fast. "Where?"
"Thessia. Their oldest Temple." Hackett said. "Your orders are to go to the temple, and recover the information."
"If we don't get that data, our weapon won't work."
"We've got the largest fleet ever assembled Shepard. If it comes to that…"
He left the thought unfinished. Even with forces such as this, it was a long shot and they both knew it.
Shepard came back to his room, exhausted, and started stripping off his uniform for sleep.
"You know what the worst part is?"
Shepard jumped out of his skin, and spun around. Jack was sitting on his couch, tears running down her face. She was changing again, going from the old Jack to the better Jack all over, the change going faster this time.
"The life I got on Omega? Before I came back?" Jack sniffed. "It was better than I ever thought I would ever get… before you. Fights to win, food coming, plenty of booze… It was more than I dared hope for… And I hate it."
"It's not a terrible thing to decide your life is better now, Jack."
Long silence.
"John?" Jack whispered. "What does Meska'Jah mean?"
"Meska'Jah?" Shepard repeated in surprise. "Where'd you get that?"
"The Asari... Liara. She calls me that. When she called me to Mars... I don't speak a lot of Asari... What does it mean?"
"Well... it's not Asari." He said softly. "Liara was an archaeologist before she ran with us on the first mission. She told me once about a dead race she studied, who had a language without nouns or names. Only concepts. They had a concept for every thought they wanted to express, and they had a different way of expressing each on so that others would feel what they wanted them to feel. Liara thought that the language was beautiful, and since nobody spoke it, she used it herself for Shadow Broker codes. She gave me a translation program. 'Meska' is a concept, and 'Jah' is the method. They tell stories about things. Events, feelings, people… they tell the whole story in an anthology of songs or movies or statues…. 'Jah' means through pictures. They had whole art galleries dedicated to telling one story through all the paintings."
"And what is my picture book about?" Jack asked him.
"Meska?" John answered softly. "It's… there's not really a word. It means… great hardships, but in them comes a shape of… great fragile beauty."
Jack was speechless.
"Liara spoke your name in a long dead language of a long forgotten people, and they named you a living story of fragile beauty through enormous hardship, told in a gallery of pictures."
"Meska'Jah." Jack whispered. She shivered, feeling… beautiful. "John, I've never felt beautiful before."
"And now?"
Silence.
Jack came over, sat down softly on the bed, and held out her arms to him. "Come here. Sleep."
She was offering him a lifeline. He hadn't slept for more than two nights through three wars now; and Shepard was too tired to be sensible about it.
News about Thessia hit in the middle of the night, while those that embraced the party were still recovering. Those that heard had been thrown everyone for a loop. After Saren, Turchanka and Rannoch, Shepard had taken down a total of three Reapers, while the rest of the galaxy considered them to be near-unstoppable death-gods. After brokering peace and calling a halt to centuries of war and hate, Shepard's name was being spoken in awe.
And today he had gone from victory to disaster.
Ashley sighed thickly as Traynor added a few names to the Memorial.
Ashley reviewed her life and love with John Shepard. She wasn't the kind of woman who waited for someone else to tell her what to feel, or what to do about it.
It's smart to wait. War doesn't tolerate distraction, and it's not a good place for a happy ending.
But on the other hand… She thought, with a fire she hadn't felt in months. Life's too short.
The door to Shepard's room opened, and she strode in, when her eyes adjusted to the dark, and she froze.
Shepard was asleep. She had been his 'guard' when he'd turned himself over to the Alliance, and she knew full well he hadn't slept in months; so she didn't want to wake him.
Especially since, stretched out over his body, was a snoring Subject Zero. She was impossible to mistake for someone else; all long limbs and inked skin that went on forever.
Derailed, Ashley slowly crept backward out the door, trying not to be noticed.
Just for a second, she thought that Jack's eyes opened as the door shut.
Morning came, and the crew shook off the results of the night before, and made their way into the War Room. "For a bunch of faceless suits, they know how to dance." Vega said with a grin.
Shepard smirked at him. "By the way, was it you that handed Tali the Turian brandy?"
"Nosir, that was all Garrus."
Garrus just shrugged. "She was... curious."
Beat.
Ashley fixed Garrus with her most forbidding glare. "Vakarian?" It was not a question; it was a command to make a full confession.
The Turian ducked his head a little. "Maybe... I was a little curious too."
Shepard grinned and sent Ashley a look. "You get Tali to be alright?"
"Sure. Didn't even wake up." Ashely waved it off. "You have enough younger sisters and strict parents, you learn how to get a drunk girl dressed and in bed pretty good."
"This is what I missed growing up without siblings, huh?"
The doors opened again and the rest of the crew came in. Shepard stepped up to the console and began the briefing. "It was a good night folks, and I hope you enjoyed the celebration, because as of now, the war is back in business."
With a knowing sigh, everyone sat straighter in their seats automatically. The party was over.
"The Crucible is complete." Shepard said simply.
There was a sudden rush of oxygen in the room, like everyone sucked in a deep breath at the same time.
"There is however, one missing piece. The power source. Liara tells me that the Protheans referred to it as The Catalyst. The Asari have finally come to the table, and they've sent more than 80% of their commando squads, as well as their Tactical Fleets... and the Destiny Ascension."
A silent roar went around the room at that. The Asari were the most advanced race around. Having them onside would be a huge boost to their forces.
But more than that, was the fact that the Asari were the last of the Citadel Races to declare support. It was done. The galaxy was united against the Reapers. Races that should by all accounts have been extinct by now were working together, following Shepard's lead.
"There is however, a sizeable problem." Shepard said, throwing icewater on their improving mood. "The Asari are no longer neutral in the war, and so they have gotten the Reaper's attention."
"They would have attacked the Asari anyway." Vega said with certainty.
"Yes they would have. But not for the usual reasons. According to the Asari ambassador, the Catalyst is not the only Prothean tech that the Asari have been keeping to themselves for the last few thousand years."
"Color me shocked." Garrus drawled.
"The Reapers have sent the largest force they've set aside for any planet, except for earth. Thessia is a close second. They are occupied, and they're getting their heads handed to them."
"Have they destroyed the Prothean data about the Catalyst?"
"We don't know. What we do know, is that the data is being kept in a temple museum on Thessia. And the city that temple is in, is currently overrun. Nevertheless, we don't have a choice. The Asari are engaged in some pretty fast and furious urban warfare, and they could lose the city at any hour. Our orders are to land on Thessia, get intel about the location of the Catalyst... as well as some idea of what the hell it is... and get out of there. We don;t know what kind of ground support we'll have, because any ground support is taking a beating."
"I can send a narrow-band scan field once we reach the Asari Relay." EDI suggested. "We might be able to get a look at the area surrounding the Temple."
"That'll help." Shepard agreed. "The information we have is almost six hours old already."
"Does Liara know?"
"I told her before the briefing. She's... taking it well."
"Really?"
"As well as we all took it when the Reapers hit our Homeworlds." Shepard returned.
He said it easily enough, but everyone knew that there was more to it than that. Thessia was the Asari Home. Unlike other species, the Asari went everywhere, but you rarely saw an alien on their own Homeworld. The Asari were something... ethereal. Not quite mortal. They lived for centuries, knew everything, had technology to match, and were the crown jewel of the Citadel. They were the Beautiful Ones. Ones that could have anything they wanted, and stop a Krogan in his tracks with a raised eyebrow. They were almost supernatural in their reputation, and the feelings they elicited in other races.
And now they were as desperate as anyone else; down in the trenches with the species they had so comfortably risen above for longer than the history books could remember.
Shepard called the briefing to a close and they all went about their tasks, and Shepard returned to the War Room Readouts, getting hourly updates from all the races, teams and specialists he had met. The War had scattered a great many people from a great many worlds. In the course of the Mission, Shepard had come across many of them, and quietly directed them to The Crucible, where they could do the most good.
The door opened, and everyone glanced over to see Tali standing in the doorway, holding herself up against the doorway. "I missed the briefing."
"Yep." Shepard confirmed quietly.
"Don't shout." Tali moaned. "Do I have a four foot spike sticking out of my head?"
"Nope."
"Urg. Never again." Tali promised. She looked blearily up at the Commander. "Shepard? Did I do something last night... that if I could remember it, I'd never be able to talk to you again?"
"You don't remember?"
"Nope."
Shepard just smiled at her.
Tali moaned. "Never, ever again."
"Commander?" Joker called over the radio, and Tali whimpered at his voice. "We've just left the Relay, and EDI has her first scans of the area surrounding the temple."
"And you have good news for me?" Shepard tried optimistically.
"You wish."
"How bad?"
"Bad enough that you're gonna want to puke."
"Well this is just great." Ashley swore. "This is a freaking Greek Tragedy, is what this is."
Inwardly, Shepard was forced to agree. "Tactical Analysis?"
"More than eight hundred Husks and Cannibal Class in a two block radius from the Temple Entrance." Edi reported. "There are over two hundred Brutes, and full air support. Long Range Lancer cannons at the edge of the city make Orbital Strikes impossible."
Ashley sighed. "What are the odds we can draw them off?"
"I am detecting Asari commando units in the area, but they are over-matched."
"We could hack the Turrets." Shepard suggested.
"Too many of them." Ashley and Garrus countered instantly.
"We could take out the air support first." Shepard suggested.
"Too many of them." Ashley and Garrus countered instantly.
"We could send a second team to draw off the Brutes." Shepard suggested.
"Too many of them." Ashley and Garrus countered instantly.
"We could send snipers in to thin out the numbers." Shepard suggested.
"Too many of them." Ashley and Garrus countered instantly.
"Jack and Liara together? Their Barriers..."
"Couldn't hold out long enough."
Long silence.
"EDI, do I want to ask the projections?" Shepard said finally.
"You can reach the Temple, but at the very best, with generous handicapping, you will lose sixty percent of the team."
Ashley and Shepard traded a tense look.
"We have to give those Commando's a chance." Shepard said. "The Temple is a key location. That's why they're fighting so hard over it. If the Asari lose that sector, the Reapers could take the whole city."
"We hit that main street hard enough, they'll all pounce."
"We hit that main street at all, we're toast." Garrus said simply.
Jack was on her way back to her room, when her Omni-Tool pinged. She had a message. It was from Rodriguez.
Dear Jack.
I sent this message to you on a timer. A lot of soldiers are doing that, so that we don't have to risk losing them. They say that back in the old days, soldiers gave these letters to each other. Well, I'm not a full soldier yet, but with mom and dad KIA back on Earth, I wanted you to be the one I talk to.
I got attached to the 109th, as a tactical support and Barrier Brigade. They don't tell us where we're going till we're on the way. Security I guess. So if you're reading this, then it means I'm dead…
Jack felt her face turn to stone. Cold and deadly. The final straw.
"Decision made." She said evenly.
She looked around her Pit. She remembered the first time she came to this room, willing the mission to be over so she could get off it. She remembered the first time Shepard had come down. She remembered how cold and distant she had been to him.
She remembered the first time he had given her a hug.
She remembered it all.
She had never had a home before.
"Goodbye." She said quietly, without regret, without doubt; before turning and marching up the stairs.
Ashley looked up. "Jack?" She was surprised to see her.
"Give me tonight." Jack said seriously. "You left because… you were like him. All full up to choking on duty and doing right. I left because I wasn't like him. Not even a little bit. You're… Williams, I got nothing left. Look at me: I'm dead inside. I got nothing. What I do got, I don't know what to do with it, but Shepard does, so I gave it all to him. And he… he made me beautiful. That's not me. So I'll make it easy. Give me tonight, and I'll walk away. I gave him what I got, and I don't got much, and he took it and made me better. I can give him this in return. I can give him you and no questions. You'll never see me again, but give me tonight to say goodbye."
Ashley blinked. "You're serious, aren't you?"
"My kinda life don't last. I'll do what I do till it kills me. And tomorrow it will. It's what I'm meant to be… just, give me tonight?"
Ashley blinked. "You did see me last night, didn't you? Coming into his room."
Jack nodded. "He wants you Ash. More than me. He just can't let me go. Not yet. Give me tonight, and don't come looking. I'll make this right."
Shepard wasn't in his room when she went there. She already knew he wouldn't be. He was in the War Room a lot now, as if he could hold the galaxy together personally, as long as he kept his eyes on it.
She went to his room, over to his private terminal, and turned on the screen.
Enter password.
Jack hesitated, and typed. A-S-H-L-E-Y.
Password Accepted.
Jack told herself it was an old password, from before they had met. She reminded herself it didn't matter. She tapped out a message, marked it personal and confidential, and then put a timer on it.
That done, she turned off the screen and left the room, pointedly not looking at the bed, the fish-tank, the couch, the medals, his armor... Everything this place had been to her. It held more meaning than The Pit ever did.
She didn't look back at any of it. Strong, clear, focus.
Shepard was in the War Room as she predicted, studying the map, tapping out a command every few moments. She came up behind him and leaned in behind him. "John. I need to talk to you for a minute."
"Can it wait?" Shepard asked absently, not looking away from the map.
"No." She said seriously.
Her tone caught his attention, and he turned to meet her gaze. "I... I can't be gone long."
"You won't be."
They left the War Room together, went as far as the elevator. Jack let the doors shut, and then stopped the elevator. They didn't look at each other, didn't speak.
"Jack..."
She turned, took his face between her hands, and kissed him deeply. Shepard was not unwelcoming, but not encouraging.
She broke the kiss. He almost looked angry. "Last time you did that, you were gone when I woke up."
"I know." Jack whispered. "I want to do something for you. Here it is. I release you."
"What?"
"I've never once done something for somebody else. Everything I've ever done was because I wanted to. I've never once done something because it was right, or because it was good for someone else. I think you know that you'd have a better future with Ashley than you would with me, but loyalty and... love, won't let you admit it. So here's my selfless act: I'm bowing out."
Shepard was stunned. "Jack... I don't want you to leave again."
Jack felt tears forming in her eyes, and she smiled. A real smile. "I know. John, you got no future with me. I never planned to live this long. I expected to be face-down in an alley on Omega, with a hundred or so corpses around me. Now... Since meeting you, I've become a hero, rescued complete strangers, become a mom for a day... I'm better now, than what I was. This is me paying you back."
Jack gave him a hug, soft and sweet, and then drew a syringe out of her waistband without looking, stabbing him in the back of the neck with it.
"AHGH!" Shepard yelled, jumping back. "Jack! WHAT THE HELL ARE YO-U-U-uuuu..."
"I'm sorry; I'm so sorry; but I can't have you coming after me..." Jack told him sincerely as his eyes rolled back in his head.
Thud. Shepard passed out as the injection took hold.
Subject Zero moved quickly, making the elevator move again. It went up without pause to the Captain's Quarters, and she dragged him out of the elevator and into bed; making him comfortable. She kissed his forehead gently, and started running. As of now she was on the clock.
There were only three ways off the ship. The airlock, which was in the main level. Many people. The Maintenance Hatch. No chance. EDI would notice the hatch opening. It was only the Captain's Orders that kept her from watching the Crew's Quarters as it was.
Jack felt her face go cool and deadly. Subject Zero was ready for war. Game On.
Ashley looked up, surprised as Jack came back in. "You change your mind?"
Jack jumped, horrified, but she hid it flawlessly. The plan was in danger now. "What are you doing here?"
"Tuning my rifle. What are you doing here? Thought you had plans."
"Not... Tonight wasn't for that. We said all the things we needed to say." Jack told her. "I just wanted you to know that there's no problem now. I won't get in the way."
"Actually, I've been thinking too." Ashley said. "The universe is on fire, Jack. Look at this crew. You've got a Quarian and a Geth fighting together. A Salarian and a Krogan...
"To say nothing of me and the Cerberus bitch." Jack added with a feral smile.
"It's not that they all want to make peace suddenly, because they don't. It's him. I don't know how he does it, but he pulls them all together." Ashley said with no small amount of love in her voice. "The galaxy is burning, and if he can do what he does… if he can pull them together… I can't distract him now."
Jack bit her lip. "God, you're as bad as he is." She turned to go, already working out a way to get Williams out of the shuttlebay... When she turned back. "Ash? Just… Take care of him? After tomorrow? After…"
Silence. Ashley could finish the sentence in her head: …after I'm dead.
Jack realised that Ashley had figured it out, and turned toward the shuttle. Idiot! Dolt! You tipped your hand!
And for a microsecond, Ashley almost let her go. But she shook it off instantly. "Jack… Jack wait!"
Subject Zero spun around and blasted her with a biotic field.
Ashley rolled with it and came up swinging. Jack reared back to dodge the punch and found Ashley sweeping her leg in response.
Jack hit the floor and grinned. "That all you got?"
Ashley had fought enough biotic enemies to see it coming and threw herself in the opposite direction, clearing the storage lockers and the docking clamps in two long strides, taking cover behind them. Jack's biotics flashed and everything between the two women suddenly started drifting through the air. Ashley changed direction instantly and dove behind the Mako.
"Three seconds huh?" Ashley called back.
"I am making an effort not to kill you, Williams." Subject Zero growled.
Ashley cut a gaze to the left. The fire alarm was to the left of the door. All it would take was pulling the switch...
The Mako started rolling, blue sparks flying off it's metal skin.
Ashley bolted for the fire alarm, taking cover behind the shuttles, the ammo lockers, the armor...
There was a heavy series of clangs as everything floating suddenly dropped.
Ashley made it to the Fire Alarm and pulled the switch. It wouldn't move. She tugged on it harder, and it still wouldn't move.
Time seemed to slow down as she saw the Fire Alarm switch, covered in a shimmering blue glow. Jack was holding it right where it was.
Ashley had been on enough battlefields to know how to improvise quickly. She dove away toward the armory. She grabbed the first thing her fingers touched...
Too late.
Jack got a clear look at her at last and Williams felt her feet go from under her. She was airborne.
Jack brought her over to the middle of the room, hovering five feet off the ground. Ashley grabbed at the air, impossible to get any traction, impossible to move.
Jack wasn't even breathing hard. "This is the way it has to be Williams. It's just better this way."
Ashley didn't answer that. Instead she grinned and drew her prize from the weapons case. It wasn't a gun. It was a Cerberus smoke grenade.
Jack's eyes widened as Ashley dropped the small cylinder, and it floated next to her, releasing thick clouds of black smoke.
The fire alarm reacted instantly, screaming
Jack's expression turned dark. "Dammit."
Ash went flying into the wall; though with a lot less force than Zero usually brought to bear. She slumped down, not moving.
"FIRE IN THE SHUTTLE-BAY! REPEAT! FIRE IN THE SHUTTLE-BAY!" The automated message shouted over the PA.
Jack swore as she pulled Ashley out of the Shuttle-Bay and behind a good solid pressure door. "Only Cerberus could create something to make my life difficult from worlds away!"
With Ashley safely out of the bay, Jack ran for the shuttles. Her original plan was to sabotage the other two in a way that would delay the rest of the crew from chasing her.
Her original plan was to have Shepard unconscious for at least an hour or two.
Joker's voice came over the shuttle radio. "Jack? I can see you on the monitors. What's happening down there?"
Jack ignored him, initiating the launch sequence. A moment later, the doors started to close. Jack gunned the shuttle engines quickly, flying out. She could hear the bay doors screech across the hull, but she made it out.
"Jack, what the hell are you doing?" Joker roared at her over the comm.
Jack grinned savagely. "I'm improvising."
"FIRE IN THE SHUTTLE-BAY! REPEAT! FIRE IN THE SHUTTLE-BAY!" The automated message shouted over the PA.
With a groan, Shepard felt the PA pounding into his brain, and he fought his way to consciousness. He had stims in the many zip pockets of his armor... his omni-tool was there on his bedside table, and it was closer.
Dragging himself into a half turn, he made it to the side of his bed and fitted the omni-tool into his hand. The virtual interface glowed around his forearm quickly, and he keyed the stims.
Feeling his head clear quickly, he got up. Only then did Shepard notice his omni-tool blinking. He had a message, marked as 'Urgent'.
Feeling a chill, he opened it.
"Shepard." Jack's voice said. "Here's the thing: I wasn't really alive. I was just surviving, and not even that real well..."
Shepard's brain cleared of fog instantly, the realization of what was happening like a bucket of ice-water. He immediately reached for his armor as Jack's voice came over the speakers.
The remaining Asari forces were surrounded on all sides, Cannibals and Marauders coming at them from all quarters. A roar filled the air unexpectedly, and even in battle frenzy, desperate to survive, they looked up as the shuttle came screaming down overhead. They looked up in surprise as the shuttle door opened mid-flight. Jack flew out the hatch, as the shuttle dipped, screaming down to the streets. The explosion heralded the new arrival, as Jack slammed down on the field of battle, her biotics lifting everything bigger than a building off the ground.
Biotics themselves, the Commandos recovered and took advantage, gunning away at the Reaper forces.
"Come on Squiddies, you wanna live forever?" Jack roared at them, as she touched down, and led the charge.
Without a better option, they followed the path she cleared, but inside seconds, she left them far behind. The commando did what they could to mop up, but Jack wasn't wasting time. She set a course for the Temple, right down the gauntlet that the Reapers had set.
Jack ran, feeling the distance vanish as she charged, the low moans of the husks nothing to her as her blood sang with adrenaline. They tried to stop her, tried to shoot her, burn her, grasp her, claw at her…
She was untouchable.
Free. Jack thought with startling clarity. I am free. All of it is gone. No doubts, no crazy… I even stepped aside and let Shepard and Williams get together. My one pure moment.
The Reapers brought reinforcements. She flowed through them, untouchable, her shield battering their attacks aside.
My god... Jack thought gleefully to herself. Sacrifice, nobility, certainty... I'm a goddam Angel!
"Ashley is a good one. She's like a female you. I screwed up each and every thing I ever did. Every single thing. It's a gift. So I can give you this. Even I can't screw this up. It's my one pure gesture. The only thing I've ever done in my entire life that didn't hurt good people or serve only my needs."
Shepard came off the elevator in the shuttlebay. He found Ashley picking herself up off the floor, gathering her wits. And weapons.
"One selfless act." Jack continued. "There was a time when I didn't care at all about doing a good thing for anyone, but now I do."
Ashley collected her armor as Shepard geared the next shuttlecraft for launch. Ashley had the good sense not to interrupt Jack's message, still playing over Shepard's omni-tool as they got ready to go after her.
"Thing about reforming is… it puts pressure on to do good things, and we both know I won't be able to keep that up, so I gotta pick a selfless act that I can do, and all I know how to do is make stuff burn."
Jack felt herself catch a shot to the side. She ignored it. Another drilled into her stomach and out her back. The pain flashed through her. She smiled at it. She lived for pain. She ate and drank pain. Pain just pissed her off, when it wasn't making her happy.
She could see the nest of them ahead, the core of their defense, and she charged it, the blood running down her legs was only going to be a problem for a minute, and after that it wouldn't matter.
Their shuttle-craft flew down steeply, going faster than was safe, and aiming closer to the enemy than was smart. Ashley didn't have to ask. Jack would land as close as she could and charge. It was what she did. She calculated how close Jack would be by now and set them on an intercept course.
They didn't talk about it and John was grateful. Ashley was helping him go after Jack. She was one of theirs, regardless of their feelings, and you don't send your own into hell alone. It wasn't what they did. Ashley believed that as strongly as he did.
"But whatever I am, whatever there is in me that does not live only for death and destruction, is thanks to you. Good things, I don't got. All my good stuff came from you, so here's my way to say thank you."
The eruption of blue fire was visible from the shuttle.
"How can she have this much juice?" Ashley asked in awe.
"By not holding anything back." Shepard said darkly. "She'll almost certainly fry her amp, probably her synapses too."
"Looks like the Commandos are taking this as a Mission. They're following the path she's blazing for them."
Shepard keyed his radio. "Shepard to Normandy, launch now! Everyone we got! Follow the trail of surprised looking dead Husks."
"Yessir!"
"But I couldn't leave without saying something. Not after all this. I am your Meska'Jah." Jack finished. "I love you, John."
Ashley twitched and pushed the shuttlecraft a little harder. Jack's trail of destruction was easy to follow.
"Goodbye"
They had barricades set up, mounted guns to stop her… her biotic shields would only hold off a barrage like that for a few seconds.
More than she needed.
Jack's skin flashed with her own unnatural blue flame, and she near flew, an avenging angel, sweeping from above. This was her music, her symphony, her dance, and she was a creature of power and grace.
Beautiful… Jack thought weakly to herself, feeling her brain start to shut down. I am beautiful…
And she fell on them, screaming a righteous death on them all.
AN: Pay attention folks, because this is where the story splits.
Truth is, I've always been a Talimancer myself, but Jack struck me as the most appealing character to write. I've really enjoyed writing her journey as a character, and whichever way it went, it was still her story.
It's interesting, the majority of those who voted for Jack Romance did so in reviews, and those that voted for Ash did so via PM.
So I wrote both endings. Pick whichever one you like the most.
Either way, I want to thank everyone who's been following it, and I hope you'll enjoy and review the ending.