Author's Notes (December 19, 2011): Thanks to Aleeab4u, duskwatcher2153, and GreatChemistry for their notes on this one. I took them to heart and applied so many little changes here and there that I've probably made new mistakes or typos. Feel my woe.
Chapter music: bit(dot)ly/sotpm31-music
"SINS OF THE PIANO MAN"
CHAPTER 31: GETTYSBURG MEADOW
"And the blood of her veins…throbbed to her love's refrain."
From "The Highwayman" by Alfred Noyes
ISABELLA SWAN
The newborns were gaining on Edward. They snapped their teeth, and their red eyes were wild with bloodlust. They were my nightmares made real, everything I imagined savage vampires to be. Had the newborns ever really been human?
I watched over Edward's shoulder as a tall, brown-haired newborn scrabbled at another, shoving the smaller, black-haired vampire to the left. The female of the three snarled and moved to the side, putting greater distance between herself and the taller one. Though I couldn't see it—fast as we were moving away from them—I heard a loud crack as the thrown newborn collided with a tree trunk. It seemed like only the tree got injured from the contact, as he was back to chasing us shortly after his crash. Vampires were far too durable.
Sometimes I saw a blond-haired vampire chasing us, too. Unlike the newborns, who seemed to have no control over themselves, when he was close enough, I could see he was more aware of what was happening. He'd grin at me, his long rat face pinching up in amusement and what looked like triumph. It was like they were all soulless. All they could think about was the chase and blood. My blood.
I held onto Edward for all I was worth, my fingers slowly going numb. "We—we need to go faster."
Edward grunted and cut his eyes at me, as if to say, I'm doing all I can, but I felt his body lean forward and push harder, just the same.
We'd been doing this for a long time. I didn't know how long, but it was bad. My body was stiff from being held and bumped up against unnaturally hard muscles. I couldn't even feel my legs. It felt like I was freezing, head to toe.
It got colder the higher up the mountain we went. After a while, I was just numb—unfeeling to the cold, resigned to the newborns behind us. Still, Edward ran.
"Are we gonna make it?" I whispered, not knowing where it was he was taking me (and suspecting he didn't know, either). I looked to his face for an answer. He didn't reply, but I watched his lips turned downward and his brow pull together.
That was answer enough, I thought.
Time no longer had meaning. All that was left was the cold, the sometimes-numb, sometimes-prickling-tingling pain in my fingers and toes. It was getting hard to hold on to Edward; I let one of my arms sometimes hang limply as he ran with me. The bruises I suffered from being held against his body only worsened the longer he carried me—no matter how gentle he tried to be.
Sometimes I felt tears on my face—hot, and then cold, as the air flattened them to my cheeks and the curve of my nose. I hated when I cried, which only made me cry more. I knew it made things harder on Edward, but my body had a mind of its own, and I was so tired and guilty and frozen. And scared. The wind took my hiccupped breaths away until it felt like there was no air left in my lungs.
After a while, the sky above slipped in and out of focus: a world wrapped in a patchwork quilt of dark grey and blue-white winter cream. My dreams sometimes surfaced. Sometimes I thought I was standing, ankle-deep in snow, waiting for it to take away everything I loved before swallowing me whole.
"Hey, stay with me."
"Huh?" My head lolled to one side, which pressed my nose into tough, sweet-scented skin. I breathed in deep and felt the cold burn in my lungs.
"…get you someplace warm."
Warm…
"Bella… Stay with me…"
I meant to say, "I'm here," but nothing would come out.
Edward was shouting. What was he saying? I forced my eyes open.
"Jasper! Wait! What are you doing? Where are you going? Stop!" Seconds passed. "Fuck." Edward's head whipped around while he still ran.
I blinked hard to try to stay focused and peered over his shoulder. The newborns were still there…but closer. Much, much closer. "Jasper?" I whispered. I didn't see him.
"I hear his thoughts," Edward said loudly. "He's nearby. So is Maria. He's headed her way—so are we." What he said next was softer, more a cry. "There's nowhere for me to take you."
Nowhere?
I closed my eyes as I realized what he was saying. We were being herded by vampires to the devil herself. I knew I should care, but that seemed to require resources and feelings I no longer had available. Shivering, I drifted away again.
"No!" A snap. A snarl. My body got jerked one way, then another.
Voices. Arguments. Coarse laughter.
Suddenly I was airborne—screaming, flying, soaring, and then falling as gravity took hold. The world came back to life as I landed with a crunch in snow that saved my bones from breaking, but did nothing for my bruises. I sucked in a breath to replace the one that had been knocked out of me and looked around.
I was in a large, snow-covered clearing, a bald spot of the forest. There were vampires present, some no farther than fifty feet from where I'd fallen. Nine of them, I counted. Nine. Edward was hissing and growling a few yards away, pulling against a vampire nearly the size of Emmett, whose burly arms bound him. There was no chance Edward would get free. I didn't think the vampire was exactly a newborn, or there'd be no struggle at all, but he had bulk that Edward, lanky as he was, did not.
Jasper was beside Edward and the big vampire. He stood freely in torn clothes, his hands fisted at his sides. Why doesn't he help Edward?
Now, even more than with the newborns trailing us, I sensed danger and felt my little hairs rise to attention. My body found warmth, as if it had always been there—stored away in my organs for when I would need it most. I hardly felt pain now. I was alert where I sat to the side on the ground.
Run, run, run, my insides screamed, but I stayed where I was. I'd been thrown to the side because I was inconvenient where I'd been in Edward's arms, but I was no threat, and there was no chance I'd be leaving. They knew it. I knew it. Holding in a groan, I crawled backward until I hit the trunk of a tree.
When I rested at its base, Edward stopped struggling. Our eyes met, and I saw his raw fear. I could only imagine what I looked like. His sweater, providing what little warmth it could, swallowed me whole. My windblown hair was tangled around my face. I couldn't feel my toes. My heart seemed to want to jump out of my chest.
I could hear the rushing sound of a nearby river or waterfall. During summer, this place was probably pretty, probably a meadow filled with wildflowers, a nature lover's paradise. Now, it was only a cold, snowy expanse, fenced by scraggly trees and filled with pale, unnervingly beautiful figures with keen, red eyes. The newborns were especially eager as they licked their lips and stared at me. They looked like they might pounce at any minute. But they were held in check, for now.
They had…eaten, it looked like. Even from a distance, I could see the blood on their mouths, how it had dribbled down their chins. I was glad I hadn't been awake to see who they'd eaten. Selfishly, I was just glad it hadn't been me.
The greatest shock came when I realized I recognized one of the vampires in the clearing. I let out a disbelieving huff of breath. It was her, the redhead who had caused my accident several years back. Edward followed my gaze, his brows shooting up high on his forehead as he put it all together. He glanced at me, and I nodded.
The red-haired woman didn't miss our silent interaction. She smiled at me, amused, showing all teeth, as did the blond, rat-faced vampire who stood beside her, the one who had been chasing us with the newborns; he had an arm thrown over the redhead's shoulders. Their smiles weren't friendly, only menacing. The scar on my face burned in the cold, reminding me of how close I'd come to death in the past…
And how likely it was that Edward and I were going to die now—or worse—at the hands of the petite woman in gauzy black dress who stood in the middle of the clearing. I stared at her profile, having no doubt of who she was: Maria Esperanza.
Though she was more olive-skinned than either Edward or the Cullens, and shorter than I'd imagined she'd be—she looked even shorter than I was—there was something about her, even if you only knew of her, that didn't allow you to mistake her as being anyone else. She emanated a sort of unhinged power, like a broken electrical line lying on a deserted road.
"Mi amante," she purred to Edward, spreading her hands out. Bangle bracelets slid up her slender arms. "I'm so glad you've finally arrived—and with your Isabella, no less." She looked over at me. "A little more bedraggled than I thought she'd be." Edward growled, and Maria let out a raucous laugh. "Only teasing." She turned to Jasper. "I'm glad to see you as well, cariño. It's been a long time—too long."
Jasper glared at Maria with unadulterated disgust. It was then that I felt his hate for her in the air, spilling out of his pores and into mine, so that I felt my own loathing for my situation and for her. Other vampires in the clearing shifted uneasily, fighting the feelings, not sure of how or where to direct them.
"What is it you want?" Jasper asked, his voice cold.
"Companionship," Maria answered simply. "You've run from me long enough—run from who I know you to be—a wild creature, a lover of what we are. We held all of Mexico, you and I." She glanced at Edward. "The three of us would be magnificent together; we would control mind, body and heart."
"Four of us," corrected the blond-haired vampire who had chased us. "That was the deal for me finding them."
Maria inclined her head. "Of course, James."
James nodded and smiled. He must be pretty stupid, I thought, to believe she was keeping any deals with him. Even now, he and the redhead stood apart from the other vampires, creating their own little unit. They didn't quite fit in. The redhead seemed to know it, even if James didn't; her eyes cautiously shifted back and forth between the other vampires and sometimes to the woods.
Edward was looking between James and Maria. His brow furrowed in frustration. "Where are the Volturi in this?"
"Volturi?" a high-pitched voice echoed. It was the redhead. She began tugging on James' arm. "Are you trying to get us killed?" she hissed. "You never said they were involved."
James glared at her and smacked her hand away. "What's he on about?" he said to Maria, his eyes trained on Edward.
Maria only laughed. "You believed that, mi amante? I wasn't sure you would, but I thought it'd be fun to see—a test. Your human's made you too trusting; the old you would have known better. I'm not actually working for them, if that's what you're wondering."
"So what are you doing?" Edward asked.
"Something no one else has dared try before," she said with a smile. "I told you I was going to have this territory, but I'm going to do more than that. I'm going to take all of Washington and Oregon—every last person. Those who will join me will be changed; those who won't or who try to stand against me…"
She was going to make everyone a vampire? No wonder she didn't want the Cullens around; that would go against everything they believed in. Oh God, has she already gotten them?
Jasper snorted. "You've built armies before, Maria. You know how this goes. If you aren't teamed up with the Italians—and I don't think you are—they'll just come and wipe you out like they always do."
"And let them come. I welcome it. This time I'll be ready. This time I'm going to take down the Volturi."
That was the opposite of what she'd told Edward.
The other vampires hadn't expected her to say this either. I could see them hesitate; some nervously glanced at each other, obviously reconsidering their allegiance. The female newborn tilted her head in confusion. Whatever tall tales Maria had told them before—how many different stories had she told?—they hadn't involved overthrowing the world's only vampire government.
"You want this too much," Jasper said. He seemed to be the only one unmoved by Maria's mission. "No matter what you do, it won't fill the emptiness Jacinto left behind, and you know it. It'll just get all of us killed."
Jacinto?
Viper-like, Maria turned to him, a finger pointed close to his face; she had to stand on her toes and reach up to achieve the effect. Jasper didn't flinch. "Silencio! What would you really know of my feelings? Your gift lends no context—not in this case. You can't know how lonely it is. How could you possibly understand? If I want to end it by trying to take them down with me, then so be it; it's my choice, not yours."
I frowned, hearing the ghostly echo of Charlie's words on the day he told me he'd quit chemo. But what had Maria so frazzled? What would make her so willing to give her life to take out the Volturi? Jacinto? Who was that? I looked to Edward to see if he understood, but he looked nearly as confused as I was, and I remembered he couldn't read Maria's thoughts well.
"This is mine to have," Maria spat. "That I offer to share the victory with either of you is an honor, considering how I've been treated."
"Join or die isn't much of a choice," Edward said. It was subtle, but I saw he was struggling against the larger vampire again.
"You should choose me!" Maria yelled, her collected façade slipping. "I made you into something amazing—something you'd never been without me. Something those culos in Italy would never let you be. Free. Guiltless. Wild.
"Do you honestly believe they'd let you have her like this?" she challenged Edward, now pointing at me. He scowled, and then his eyes shifted to Jasper, his brows pulling together.
"I'll join you, Maria," Jasper said suddenly. "Let Alice go free, and I'll help you get your revenge." He laughed without humor. "You know I'll do it. I've done it before."
Though she seemed pleased by his words, she was also wary of Jasper's sudden commitment. "She's my bargaining chip, cariño. You'll leave if I let her go. I need your gift by my side to do this."
Jasper's lip curled. "I keep my word. If I say I'll join you and help, that's what I'll do."
Maria was silent as she considered this. "And you, Eduardo?" she asked a moment later. "Do you have similar terms?" Her red eyes briefly darted my way.
My heart was in my throat when he looked at me, his gaze gentle and sad. I knew exactly what it meant, and I shook my head. No, no, no. Don't do this.
"I'll join you," Edward replied. "But you'll let me arrange Bella's transportation to a safe place—one I won't tell you or anyone else of."
"So she's to stay human?" Maria said in surprise. "I didn't expect that of you, what with your…playing house with the girl. Are you sure you don't want to keep her?" She eyed me like I was a curious art piece she couldn't decide whether she liked.
"The life you're offering isn't one she deserves."
Didn't I get a say in this? But as it was, I didn't think any words would come out of my mouth. I was still and powerless in the cold snow.
Maria nodded. "So be it. I agree to both your terms." She smiled slightly. "But, Ricardo, you best still hold on to Eduardo for now. He can be a little impulsive at times. One of my favorite things about him."
Edward wasn't looking my way anymore. He wasn't looking at anything. His expression was dull, and despite Maria's instructions to Ricardo, he wasn't struggling against the larger vampire.
Though I couldn't begin to understand all of her machinations, I had a feeling Maria was getting everything she'd wanted and planned for. I began to feel cold again. Adrenaline doesn't last forever, especially when you begin to realize it's time to give up.
"I want to see Alice before you let her go," Jasper said, and I felt his twinned emotions of gladness and despair before he pulled them back in.
"Of course, cariño. I had every intention of letting you see her." Maria gestured to one of the newborns. "Bring the bruja to me and I'll give you a treat for your good behavior." The newborn nodded eagerly and disappeared into the woods.
Shaking, I pulled my legs up under my chin and watched Edward. He still wasn't looking my way. I wished I could read his mind. He had another plan, didn't he? We'd run away again, right? This couldn't be the end. It just couldn't.
"Jasper…" Edward's tone was low and filled with warning.
Jasper looked at Edward, a question in his eyes.
"Alice isn't well."
"What's—"
"Ah, here she is!" Maria turned and smiled as the newborn came back to the clearing; he was carrying something.
Not something… She? I squinted to look more closely and gasped. He had brought Alice. But not…all of her. I felt bile rise to my throat as I took in the newborn and the…stump he held. Alice had been torn apart. She lay limbless in the vampire's arms; a frilly, black skirt draped awkwardly over legless hips. Her eyes were distant, unblinking…dead.
The newborn dropped her to the ground not fifteen feet away from me, as if she was nothing to him. Her body rolled forward, so that her face pressed into the snow.
Maria had the gall to smile as she looked down at Alice's still form. "Now you maybe have some concept of my feelings," she said as she turned back to Jasper, who for a few moments was completely still as he stared down at Alice. "You will help me, or it will be much worse for her. You've listened to her for long enough now."
There was numb shock—mine and Edward's, and more than ours, Jasper's.
Then everything fell apart.
Too many things happened at once. Jasper let out a chilling, inhuman yowl; anger, agony and fear tore through the clearing in waves that left me quivering into the rough bark of the tree I leaned against; the tornado of emotions were almost too much for me, like they might tear me in two, like my body wasn't big enough to contain them.
The newborns, overwhelmed, and with so little control over themselves, turned on each other. Their growls were loud and grotesque, and when they clawing nails met vampire flesh, it sounded like stone was being cracked apart. Screams filled the clearing.
"Stop this!" Maria shouted angrily, but then Jasper launched himself toward her. It surprised her, but she was quick. Her black dress swirled elegantly over the white snow as she dodged his attack with a sickening laugh.
James stepped forward to help her, but his redheaded mate tugged at him again, hissing words I couldn't hear over the commotion. He seemed angry, but he allowed her to lead him into the woods, away from the danger. Had they gotten more than they bargained for?
Seeing an opportunity and no doubt affected by Jasper's anger, too, Edward threw back his head toward Ricardo's face, the tendons of his neck standing out with the force he used. Even over the newborns' tussle, I heard the crack of the large vampire's nose. Ricardo stumbled back a step, raising one hand to his face, while the other groped blindly. Edward grabbed hold of Ricardo's hand and yanked him forward.
Clouds of snow flew up from the ground, obscuring their pale forms as they moved at top speed, and above this was the haunting cracking-crumbling of their flesh. Half of the time I didn't know who was fighting, much less who was winning.
Maria and Jasper danced around one another, evenly matched, evenly brutal. Ricardo fell to his knees after a blow to the head. Immediately, Edward turned toward me, his eyes frantic and black. We were going to run. We were going to get out of here. On legs that screamed in protest, I made to stand, using the tree for support.
But Edward didn't make it, and I collapsed back to the ground.
Ricardo grabbed hold of Edward's wrist and pulled hard. Edward spun on his heel. He scrambled to meet his attacker, and Ricardo pulled again, but harder this time. Hard enough.
Nothing—not even Charlie's rattling breaths before he died—could compare to Edward's scream as the large vampire tore his hand from his arm, yanking it apart at the wrist. He threw it to the side, some distance away. Long, slender fingers lay still, nearly as pale as the snow.
"Edward!"
Edward glanced at me from where he barely held Ricardo away from him with his uninjured arm. "Run!" he cried, his voice hoarse with his pain.
Mouth hanging open, I shook my head. "I can't," I whispered. He'd hear me over the clamor.
Running was a stupid request. He had to know that. I didn't know where we were. And how could I outrun vampires? How could I possibly leave him? I wouldn't.
I stayed, and the battle continued. Ricardo bit into Edward's shoulder, all too close to his neck. Two newborns died at the flames of another's matches. The sole survivor joined Maria against Jasper.
Maria seemed to be growing…weary, so the two of them didn't overpower him. Jasper slammed his body into Maria's, and I watched, confused, as she did little to protect herself from his attack. The newborn drew him away from her.
I wasn't sure how long they had been fighting—it could have only been minutes—but it felt like forever. Alice's warning to not let Edward fight was fresh in my mind as he jumped away from Ricardo's latest attack. He was at a disadvantage now; he could dodge most attacks using his gift, it seemed, but the loss of his hand kept him from going on the offense.
I looked for something—anything—I could do to help, but I was only human. We were going to get snowed in, drown, die in flames, all because I couldn't save any of us. This was my nightmare, worse than ever before, because it wasn't a dream at all.
Alice.
It didn't seem the others, even Jasper, paid me any mind as I crawled toward her body. She was too heavy to drag away from the onslaught, so I stayed by her side, trembling in fear. I turned her over, grunting with the effort, and stared at her pale face. Alice? Are you there? Tell me what to do. I've got to do something. She'd been so wrong—whatever she'd thought she was doing—but maybe she could help fix things. It was my last ditch effort.
Her eyes, black as midnight, slowly gained focus. I gasped when her mouth yawned open. At first I thought she was trying to speak, but then I saw, to my horror, that she had no tongue; like her limbs, it'd been torn out.
It took me a moment to realize she wasn't looking at me. She was looking at my throat. In pain and starved, she was like the newborns now. My pulse, my blood, was everything. She couldn't see the person I was.
Vampires have a weakness. Just like hunger can be a human's Achilles' heel, so too is it a vampire's. I saw that as I looked at Alice, the way my friend disappeared in the face of her thirst. It always comes back to water and food—or blood if you're made that way.
Somehow, it always comes back to life and death. The only question is which side you're on.
"No, Bella!" Edward shouted. "Don't!"
I looked at him. He wasn't looking at me as he fought with Ricardo, but I thought he might have seen something in Alice's thoughts. Maybe she was still in there, somewhere, still having visions. It didn't matter. I couldn't run. Edward was already hurt. Jasper was evenly matched between the newborn and Maria, even as she seemed to slow down. I had a hidden weapon. What it would do, I didn't know. I just knew it'd do something.
As if fate had planned it, a long stick was poking up out of the snow, mere inches from where Alice lay. It was a root of some kind, but it easily snapped away from the frozen ground. Its end was long and narrow, creating a sharp pointed edge. It was perfect.
I stared at it for a few seconds. I'd never liked blood, especially my own, but I'd gotten over that for Charlie, and I'd get over it if it'd buy Edward some time. Maybe he could get away if the others wanted me.
This isn't going to work, I thought, as I pressed the stick's pointed tip to the crook of my arm, my cold fingers protesting each time I bent them. You know he wants your blood just as much as the others do. No. I wouldn't think like that, even if I could hear Edward's words in my memory. Let's not test your theory.
But every theory needs to be tested, especially if it's the only one you've got. I tore into my skin, cutting all the way down to my wrist in one brutal stroke. Adrenaline kept the pain at bay as my blood welled up, dripped down and spilled over. Some of it fell to the snow; some of it fell into Alice's mouth.
Vicious hisses erupted in the clearing. Alice lifted her head up and moaned in combined pleasure and pain.
And the battle converged over me. Maria, the newborn and Ricardo turned to me as one, like horrifying, synchronized dancers. Hunger was in their eyes as they crouched in preparation for the kill. But they never made it. This time Edward made it to me first.
I fell back to the hard ground as he bowled me over, our bodies colliding painfully. My breath rushed out of my lungs in a gust. I expected one of the others to pull Edward away, but no one did.
There was a deep growling all of a sudden, shouting and more voices than before, but I couldn't see who had entered the clearing. In my peripheral vision, I could see Jasper forcing Maria to her knees as she yelled and tried to claw her way to me, but they didn't have my full attention.
All I could really see was Edward's black eyes. He had me pinned with his legs, and he hovered over me on one hand, staring ravenously. His other hand—stubbed off at the wrist—he pressed at my neck, maybe to feel my racing pulse. The open wound oozed a cool, sticky liquid on my skin. He wasn't breathing, but I could tell by the twitch of his lips that he was fighting with himself. Fighting his monster.
What would it do to him if he killed me? No swan song would soothe him.
"I love you, and you love me," I reminded him softly, my voice shaking. "Don't forget that."
He growled, and the vibrations traveled through his body to mine.
I felt dizzy; the sky behind Edward spun on occasion. Had I lost that much blood? Or maybe it was the adrenaline mixed with the blood loss. Venom dripped from Edward's teeth onto my chin.
Suddenly, the pressure of his body was torn away. I let out a cry, thinking Ricardo had finally grabbed hold of him, but when I managed to look up, it wasn't the scary, hulking vampire I saw. It was…Carlisle. "Go!" he shouted at Edward as he shoved him away. "You don't want to hurt her." Edward still looked feral as he stared down at me with black eyes, but he shot away at top speed; I heard him break into the woods a few seconds later.
"Carlisle?"I whispered in disbelief.
"We're here now." He knelt beside me. "Everything's going to be all right." He worked faster than I could keep up with, tearing off a piece of his black sweater to tie around my arm. "That should staunch the blood flow," he said, and smiled at me reassuringly. "I've gotten you out of worse scrapes than this. Your fingers concern me, though. We need to get you somewhere warm."
No kidding. I almost hated him for reminding me of how cold I was. My body seemed to remember, as well, and started shivering again.
Esme was in the clearing. After my wound had been covered, she took over for Carlisle as he went to help Jasper—with what, I didn't know, until I heard the unnerving sound of stones breaking. I knew it wasn't stone, though.
"Oh, my sweet girl, I'm so sorry," Esme said as she had me rest my head in her lap. "We were trying to get to you. Maria had more newborns than we knew. One of her followers must have let her know what we were doing. We were ambushed and had to deal with them the whole way back to Forks. I don't know what we would have done without the wolves."
"Why didn't you let us know?"
She sighed. "Satellite phones might have reception everywhere, but they don't stand a chance against an all-out battle. We were down to our last two when we last called, and diving into a river took care of those. We just did our best to get to you. When we found Lucky all alone in Charlie's house… Well, we didn't stop to call from the landline. We followed your scent all the way here. I was so afraid we were going to lose you both." She looked around, her sweet, rounded face troubled. "We almost did."
I was beginning to feel a little foolish—or at least like I had incredibly awful timing. Did I slice into my arm for nothing? But I asked, "Is Edward okay?"
"He will be."
"Are you sure?"
"We'll make sure."
I believed her. "Did any of you get hurt?"
"Emmett," she said, but she smiled. "He got into the spirit of it all a little too much. He's fine, though. Has a few scars he'll be bragging about for the next century."
"Maria—"
"Is dead. Or will be very soon." Esme's tone turned cold. "She won't be bothering us anymore. Good riddance, I say."
As if to punctuate her words, I saw smoke from the corner of my eye as it floated up to low-hanging clouds. A pungent scent stung in my nostrils. "She wasn't working with the Volturi," I said, my voice quiet. "She said she was trying to kill them."
But why? I didn't understand her motives or why she'd lied to Edward and the others she'd been involved with. What was she doing? Now she was dead, though. There'd be no answers unless we could maybe get them from James and the redhead. Not that I had any desire to see them again.
"Don't worry about it right now." Esme ran her fingers through my hair. "Just rest. We can talk about everything later. You're safe. That's all that matters."
I wanted to ask her where Edward had gone, if Alice would actually survive, but my body took her words to heart. Snow fell to my face as I closed my eyes.
I was in a bed. I knew immediately that it was a Cullen bed, because only extravagant Cullen beds cradled you this way. An electric blanket had been put over me, and a hot water bottle was nestled at my feet. I could actually feel my fingers and toes; they weren't even tingling. Outside of the distant, throbbing sting of my wounded arm, I was in a toasty-warm heaven.
Then I remembered everything that had happened since this morning. I sat up quickly, my head spinning as I looked out a window. It was nearly dark outside—late afternoon. I'd slept the whole day away.
A knock sounded on the bedroom door, nearly making me fall out of bed. "Come in," I squeaked, my spine rigid. It'd probably be a long time before surprise visits didn't make me freak out.
Esme's head popped inside the room. "Heard you wake up"—there were no secrets in vampire houses—"and thought I'd bring you some hot chocolate." She entered the room, a small smile on her face.
"Thank you," I said, taking the steaming mug from her outstretched hand.
"How are you feeling?"
I wriggled my toes. They felt a bit stiff, but okay otherwise. "Almost human again," I answered. With my free hand, I fingered the bandages that ran from my left elbow, down to my wrist. "Where's Edward?"
Esme sat beside me on the edge of the bed. "The front porch."
My brow furrowed. "Why?" I wanted him here with me. Why the hell wouldn't he be beside me after all that had happened?
"I think he's very upset that he almost hurt you," Esme said gently.
I almost choked on my hot chocolate. "It wasn't his fault!" I'd cut into myself like some suicidal butcher. I'd known there was a risk. A really huge one. Maybe a completely stupid and unnecessary one, to boot.
"Maybe it wasn't his fault, but I think he believes it was."
That was nothing new. I thought of the collection of binders in Port Angeles. Not to say Edward didn't have good reason for his guilt, but Esme had no idea just how self-flagellating he could get.
Esme stared at the patterns on the bed quilt, then patted my leg. "It's dangerous business for a human to be involved with our kind, Bella, especially of late."
I nodded, though it was hard to imagine Esme could be dangerous, even if she had been fighting crazed newborns. As I sipped the last bit of my hot chocolate, I remembered Alice. "Is Alice going to be okay?"
"Alice is with Jasper and Carlisle," was all Esme said. "Her recovery is going to be a slow process."
I swallowed uncomfortably. "Did you find her…limbs?" And tongue, I wanted to say, but couldn't bring myself to.
She frowned slightly. "We did. Mostly. We think one of her legs was burned."
"What… Is there something that can be done?"
"Don't you worry. We'll keep looking. Alice will be able to tell us herself if that's what happened. Edward tried to read her thoughts, but…she was too far gone by the time we got to you. What we did find wasn't far from where you were. Carlisle believes Maria was only looking to prove something to Jasper."
She'd counted on his fear, but not his anger. "It backfired," I said.
"Yes." Esme patted my leg again. "Go see Edward." She stood. "Oh! Do you need help down the stairs? I can carry you."
I snorted at her motherly eagerness. I had no desire for any vampire to carry my bruised body any time soon. "I'm good, I think. Thanks, though." I threw my feet over the side of the bed, ignoring the burn of my muscles and itchiness of my skin.
Esme helped me stand, and when she saw I was too stubborn to accept and further help walking, made to leave the room. She turned back before passing through the door. "There's a coat waiting for you downstairs. Don't let yourself get a chill. You've already been so cold today!"
And just like that, things were kind of back to normal in the Cullen household. Kind of.
Carefully, I made my way downstairs without breaking my neck. In the living room, Rose and Emmett looked up from where they were cuddled on the sofa, books lying open on their laps. "Saw what you did," Emmett said, pointing at his own, flawless arm. I couldn't see where he'd been injured. "That took guts, B."
"You could have gotten yourself killed," Rosalie added. Though her tone was disapproving as always, I detected a hint of respect.
I gingerly tugged on the coat that was set out for me. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
"Jazz said it made all the difference," Emmett commented. I didn't know if he was telling the truth or just trying to make me feel better. "He also said you smelled awesome before he stopped breathing." He grinned.
"Um, thanks, I think?" I let out an awkward laugh, and he gave me a thumbs up as I went out the front door.
Edward was sitting on the porch steps, his shoulders slumped from where he rested his elbows on his knees. He looked at me over his shoulder.
"Hey," I said.
"Your heart sounds better now," he responded. "Do you feel all right?"
I was in pain from head to toe, but I shrugged as I gingerly sat beside him and pulled my coat close. "Just glad to be alive, I think. What about you? How's your hand?"
He didn't answer me. "You almost didn't make it." He shook his head. "I'm sorry I—"
I let out a groan and interrupted him. "Can we skip this part?" At his raised brow, I said, "I mean, it's not like I didn't do this to myself." I waved my bandaged arm a little, ignoring the sting of protest. "And weren't you just telling me you'd grown fond of how down I am with monsters?"
"That was before half a dozen of them nearly chased us to your death. Before I nearly sucked you dry."
"You weren't about to suck me dry." Well, maybe he had been, but I wasn't about to admit it. That didn't seem like it'd help our relationship or his self-esteem.
"Wouldn't you say things are different now?"
Rolling my eyes, I rested my head on his shoulder. "Not between us." Or maybe they were, but not for worse, I thought. Leaning up, I kissed his cheek. "I'm not going anywhere." He looked down at me, and a crooked smile slowly pulled at his mouth. I smiled back.
We sat for a while, each of us in our own thoughts. I noticed he was holding a brown rag in his hand and asked what it was. "Oh," he said, looking at me sideways, "that would be my left hand."
"You're just sitting here without a hand?" I said in disbelief, while trying not to show how creepy that was. I'd seen a lot of weird things the body could do when Charlie was sick, but…calmly carrying around your own hand like it was some accessory? Only in a vampire's world. I sucked in a deep breath and nodded at the rag. "Can I see?" I'd seen it in the clearing, but not up close.
"You sure?" At my nod, he placed the bundle on his knee and unfolded the cloth, revealing fingers I knew well.
It didn't look real, I decided; it looked like one of those pale plastic hands you see around Halloween. "Makes me think of The Addams Family," I said without meaning to. I closed my eyes. "Please pretend I didn't just say that."
He didn't care, though. His head fell back as he laughed, and it wasn't long before I joined in.
A huge weight lifted off of me that I hadn't even realized was still there. Our laughter proved something. We'd made it. We were alive. We were going to be together. Always.
"It can mend, right?" I asked, touching his arm. "Esme said Alice could heal, but it'd take time."
His laughter trailed off, and he looked down at me, his expression tender. "It takes a little while, yes; it will for her, especially. It's painful, or so I've been told in the past." He frowned down at the motionless appendage. "I've been putting it off." He snorted. "Emmett says if I don't man up soon, he'll hold me down and do it himself."
"Want me to hold your good hand while this one…fixes itself?"
"No, I might hurt you without meaning to—squeeze your hand too hard. One broken hand between the two of us is enough, I think."
"Can I at least sit with you?"
"I'd like that." He sighed. "Guess there's no time like the present."
Lifting the hand in his good one he brought it close to his face. He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. "You might want to look away."
I didn't believe in turning my back on a hurt loved one. I watched as he licked the pale pink tendons and whitish bones, coating them with venom. And I sat with him when he pressed it into place and let out his breath in a hiss.
"That's all you have to do?" I all but shouted. "That's amazing. It just heals back together?" He nodded, his eyes squeezed shut. As fascinated as I was by the whole process of vampiric reattachment, he clearly didn't want to think about it. "Where are Jasper and Carlisle with Alice?" I asked, hoping to distract him from the pain. I thought I could hear the creaking and cracking of his bones melding back together. That couldn't feel good.
"In the woods," he answered, his voice tight. "Jasper didn't want to do it in the house with you here. There's a lot Alice's body has to heal." He opened his eyes and looked toward the forest line. "She's screaming."
"I can't hear her…"
"That's for the best."
I chewed at my lip, then changed the subject. "Edward? I don't really understand what happened today. Is that just because I'm a human and missed half of everything?"
He snorted. "Are you referring to Maria?" At my nod, he said, "None of us understands entirely. We're hoping Alice will be able to explain some things when she's better. But I think it's perhaps simpler than we first suspected. You heard her speak of Jacinto?"
"Yeah, who's that?"
"Her mate, apparently. She lost him long before I knew her—sometime in the early eighteen hundreds, even before she changed Jasper."
"What happened to him?"
"He was building armies, Jasper says; that's partly how Maria got into it. The Volturi caught up with him. They killed him and left Maria to live. She never told me about him—or that she'd even lost a mate—but her thoughts were slipping when she fought Jasper. She was thinking of him sometimes then. Jasper filled in the gaps for me on the way back. What he knew, anyhow. She never told him much, either, but that's what we were able to piece together."
"So all of this probably was revenge against the Volturi."
"Perhaps."
"Why now, though?"
Edward sighed. "You know, when she came to Port Angeles, she said to me, 'Eternity stretches on longer than you can fathom.' I took that as a threat, but I wonder now if she wasn't speaking personally. Vampires don't have the best track record when it comes to handling the loss of our mates."
There was something disturbing about learning our enemy might have had a reason for being as screwed up as she was. I didn't like how knowing made it harder to process Angela's death, which still didn't seem quite real to me yet.
"She wanted to die," Edward said, pulling me from my thoughts.
"Is that why she seemed to stop fighting after a while."
"You caught that? Mm, she knew the Cullens had taken out most of the newborns, and she wasn't sure she had it left in her to fight; she was tired of existing."
A disquieted shudder rippled through me. "I really thought she was gonna beat us for a while there."
"She caused her own downfall. She was less stable each time I saw her; only I never knew why. I think today she hoped she could coerce Jasper and me into helping her—use Alice and you against us—but she went too far. When she realized that, that she'd lost not only the newborns she'd created, but us too, it wasn't long before she wanted it all to end. She begged Jasper and Carlisle for death."
I thought about what Alice had seen Edward becoming again if I'd rejected him; the same thing might have happened if I'd died in the clearing. I tried to imagine a world without him, the world that had seemed to be staring me down in the clearing. I didn't know what I would be without him, either. I'd still be me, I knew, but…less. Not as whole. A box of crayons, missing the color green; Phoenix without the sun or Forks without its rain.
"I almost feel sad for her," I said and felt frustrated with myself.
Edward looked at me incredulously. "I think it will take me a few decades to gather my sympathy."
"I said almost." I looked at the way he was holding his injured hand close to his body. "How's it going?"
He grimaced. "Tolerably."
"That bad, huh?"
Instead of answering, he said, "Carlisle and Esme want to leave Forks when Alice is well again."
"Leave?"
"It's past time for them to. They want us to go to Wyoming with them."
Leave Washington? Leave Dad? "What's in Wyoming?"
"Nothing," Edward said dryly. "I think that's the idea."
I sat for a little while, thinking it over. All the times I'd thought of leaving Forks and Port Angeles, I'd never actually been close to doing so; it had been a fantasy. This area had been my home for four years, though, and my father was buried here. Angela would be buried here. I had roots, whether I liked it or not. It would hurt to leave.
Sensing my uncertainty, Edward nudged me. "You don't have to decide right now. It will take them a couple of weeks to prepare—and us, too, if you want to go." He smiled at me almost shyly. "Wyoming's sparsely populated, you know—would be good for a newborn."
For a new life, in other words, one not haunted by his past or mine. "Will I…be like the newborns we saw today?"
"I'll help you through everything, Bella."
"You didn't answer my question."
"For a time, bloodlust will be difficult to overcome, but you'll never be like those creatures you saw." He shook his head. "I won't let you lose yourself like that."
I couldn't hold his hand, but I tucked my bandaged arm around his good one and leaned close. He rested his chin atop my head. I tried not to think about dead loved ones, red-eyed monsters, the screams of a friend I couldn't hear, about unanswered questions or Edward's pained, uneven breathing. I tried to think of a new, better future.
Closing Notes: If you're wondering at the title, it's because the Battle of Gettysburg is considered to be the "turning point" of the U.S. Civil War. The meadow is the turning point of the war with the newborns for the Cullens, Edward and Bella.
Three more chapters remain (1 BPOV, 2 EPOV), for a total of 34. Hopefully I'll get the next chapter out to you guys before 2012, but no promises. I've had all of this planned for a long time, though, so I know where it's going. The next chapter's probably my favorite, so here's to hoping. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing!