The next Friday, 2 weeks after everything that had happened, Blaine walked into the choir room with one mission and one mission only-to at least talk things out with Kurt if not win him back. He had stayed up way too late last night learning a new song that he knew Kurt would love it-not so sure if he would love Blaine again-but the song had to make a dent somehow, or at least Blaine hoped it would.
"Alright guys, with nationals coming up, we've got to get our set lists figured out. Any suggestions?" As he turned around to face the class after writing 'NATIONALS' in big letters on the white board in the front of the classroom, like he seemed to do every single damn day.
Blaine raised his hand with hesitation as chatter, mostly from Rachel about her already chosen song selections, quickly rose throughout the room. "Yes Blaine? What are your thoughts-oh that's right, almost forgot! Everyone, settle down, Blaine's going to sing something for us, so Blaine-take it away."
Blaine got up and grabbed his guitar that he brought with him earlier this morning and Blaine grabbed a spare chair with his other hand and sat it directly in front of Kurt. A shocked expression spread across his face quickly, trying to avoid Blaine's eyes, but that didn't stop Blaine from doing this. He needed Kurt more than anything and needed to let him know, right now.
Blaine took Kurt's hands in his despite the guitar in his lap and looked deeply into Kurt's eyes and said, "If anything, just please listen to every lyric of this song, please, it's all true. I know we have a lot to talk through, but just listen to this song open-mindedly." And with that, Blaine let go of Kurt's hands; everyone in the room was staring, but they all started to fade away once Blaine started strumming and singing, it was just the two of them.
When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
Blaine looked directly at Kurt with all he had, making sure he heard the lyrics and wasn't just ignoring him, especially right now. And he wasn't, Kurt was listening intently despite the whole room full of people were staring at them.
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up
Blaine was reaching the faster part of the song and hoped he didn't mess up-this needed to be absolutely perfect for Kurt.
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.
I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
Blaine put as much emphasis on that lyric as he could because it fit so perfectly with everything.
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Kurt and Blaine both looked up at each other with that last line in unison and a tear slid down both of their cheeks and the joined hands once Blaine set down the guitar. It was just them, nothing else in the world. "We can fix this." Kurt said, thinking he said that in his head and not out loud, but too late.
The couple were sucked back into reality and quickly felt embarrassed when he room burst into applause and cheers from everyone-even Santana, she was linked pinkie fingers with Brittany. Even Rachel who was a little uneasy that the spotlight wasn't on here right now, but that was ok because she was holding hands with Quinn. Tina and Mike shared a quick kiss and Mercedes and Sam and Rory and Sugar did the very same. Everyone just was in awe this whole thing Blaine just did-just for Kurt. "Great job, Blaine, that was wonderful." Mr. Shuester said as the applause and the love fest died down.
"Hey Shu," Mercedes piped in, "I think you need to let these boys go early. There's a lot that needs to be sorted out and I can fill them in on what they miss." Everyone once again returned his or her attention to Kurt and Blaine.
Kurt and Blaine made eye contact with Mr. Shuester and he said, "Go ahead boys, Blaine talked to me earlier and it's fine, we'll see ya tomorrow."
"Thank you, I owe you." Kurt whispered to Mercedes as he stood up, grabbing for his bag, but Blaine took it, carrying his guitar case in the other hand.
"No problem, go have fun with your boo." And they left. Kurt went to his locker with Blaine, took his bag back from him and put some things away. Blaine insisted that he carried Kurt's bag-so Kurt caved and said all right to his wish. He turned to him after he shut the locker door.
"You still have that picture of me from last year in you locker?" Blaine asked as he leaned against the row of lockers, staring back at Kurt.
"Oh, yeah, that. I thought of taking it down, but it didn't feel right, I don't know…" He trailed off.
"Well where do you want to go now? There's the Lima Bean, the car, anywhere you want to go is fine with me."
"How about I drive and we'll come back for my car, later." Blaine agreed and they headed down the hall, towards the parking lot.
Kurt and Blaine automatically reached for the other's hand but then stopped when their hands touched. They looked at each other, not sure what to do. "Sorry," they both said in unison.
"I guess this is the first time I've walked down these halls with you and not held your hand." Blaine blankly stated.
"Yeah, we did always seem to read each other's minds." Kurt said as they reached the door that lead out to the parking lot. Blaine opened the door for Kurt and they walked to Kurt's car.
They drove without speaking but listened to the radio. A song about some days tasting like lemonade and some days feeling like razorblades, talking about floating away, it was pretty accurate, actually, that's all Kurt wanted to do-float away from all of this crap going on in his life. They both groaned when Adele's Someone Like You can on the radio. They both reached to turn off the radio and their hands met again. "Sorry," Kurt said as he pulled his hand away from Blaine's, "that song is just way too overplayed."
"I couldn't agree more." Blaine said. "Well, here we are." He turned off the car and grabbed a blanket that was in the back seat. He knew he wanted to talk to Kurt here so he kept the blanket there for whenever the time came. Blaine wanted to take them somewhere alone where no one could judge them, bother them, ect. He drove them to a place he had visited recently with everything that had happened. It was a beautiful little field with trees all around. Little daisies and dandelions were sporadically placed throughout the tall green grass. Blaine grabbed his guitar and walked with Kurt to the middle of the field and placed the blanket on the ground as they sat in an uncomfortable silence.
"Just like, before, please listen to every lyric." Blaine said, resting a hand on Kurt's knee, making eye contact.
"Ok." And then Blaine began singing.
Hello, tell me you know, yeah, you've figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment to see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now
And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Well you and I, why we go carrying on for hours on end
We get along much better than you and your boyfriend
Well, all I really want to do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me
Well, how long can I go on like this, wishing to kiss you
Before I rightly explode
Blaine dared not to look up at Kurt and his lips with that last lyric, but he couldn't help it, it was 100 percent true. He missed him in everyway, with everything; he just hoped Kurt felt somewhat the same way.
And this double life I lead isn't healthy for me in fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all
Well, baby there's a lot that I miss in case I'm wrong
All I really want to do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me
If I should be so bold, I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said a word I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again
Well, all I really want to do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me
I think it might kill me
And all I really want from you is to feel me
It's a feeling inside that keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me
It might kill me
Kurt leaned forward quickly, maybe a little too quickly, because he was soon dizzy when his lips met Blaine's in a needy, desperate kiss that they both wanted. It only lasted a few seconds because Kurt pulled back when he realized what he did.
"I'm sorry-that was too much, I'm sorry." Kurt sat back where he was before and blushed, looking at the ground.
"Hey," Blaine reached a finger under Kurt's chin, making him look into his eyes, "we're teenagers, we have urges and do things we can't explain, don't worry about it. And I am glad you did because if you didn't, I would have and I didn't want to come off too forceful with this."
"Ok."
"So where to begin?"
"I'll go. That Friday, I truly felt sick and needed to go to the bathroom. I was on my way out, back to class when Karofsky walked in. He told me he loved me and then he shoved me up against that wall and forced me into that kiss the second you walked in. I tried to push him off, he was too strong and you have no idea how badly you broke my heart with that look on your face when everything happened. If I didn't feel like I had to throw up earlier-I sure as hell did right there, still don't know how I didn't, actually. I slapped him when you ran off and then went after you. If anything Blaine, none of that meant anything-I swear. You had every right to be mad at me and I'll never hurt you like that again. But ever since that moment on that staircase at Dalton, you've captured my heart, completely. You are the definition of my world and I hate that this happened because of me."
"First of all, it wasn't because of you, it was because of Karosfky. Secondly, I'm sorry for what I did with Sebastian. He saw I was upset with you, he assumed we had completely broken up, and took huge advantage of that, obviously. He wanted to mess with you and I shouldn't have gone along with it. I was angry, upset, everything and you didn't deserve that."
"Thank you. Well, guess we both screwed up, huh? Guess we have two people's asses to kick on Monday."
"Yeah, oh that'll be fun." Blaine said with a small chuckle.
"So where does that leave us?"
"You didn't feel anything when Karofsky kissed you and I sure as hell didn't feel anything with sleaze-bag-Sebastian, so want to just go back to normal life being boyfriends?"
"You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say those words." Kurt leaned in again to kiss Blaine and this time it felt so right. They stayed out in that field for hours, making up for the few weeks that they had spent apart, kissing and cuddling the hours away.
The end. Thanks for reading