Chap 18 Cries of Pain
Walking away is all he can do for now, after all, the woman he loves has finally made a choice. And even though that choice didn't mean him, he respected her decisions, even if it tears him apart. It took all of him to turn his back from her as he tries to ignore the lingering pain in his heart. Truth be told, after what had happened earlier that day, after the moments they shared between battles, he had hoped or rather truly believe that she was at peace with her feelings towards him. He had believed that she'll finally come back to him knowing full well that she loves him very much willing enough to save his life. Because no matter how much she dismisses it, the fact of the matter is, he felt it, and that alone gave him the strength and the will to fight. But he was wrong, that thought crumbled down on him as he hears the need in her voice. The need to save Saemael who was in the brink of death; her voice pleading, as if begging, for him not to leave her. It was devastating and painful to listen to the cries of pain from the one you love. So even though it was against his will, he made the decision to save Saemael for her. Only for her. JUnpyo knows that he will regret this decision as he witness them reunited. His heart breaks at the sight of them caught in each other's arms as if everything surrounding them was a blur, including him. His body that was engulfs by her warmth suddenly turns cold as it finally sink in. She had chosen to be with Saemael. She had chosen to leave him. Dragging his feet and the rest of his numb body, he walks away and with one last glance at Jandi's beautiful face, he tenderly smiles, his eyes full of unshed tears, memorizing her every features, before disappearing.
-0-
As soon as Jandi felt jUnpyo's aura was gone, the tears in her eyes where unstoppable. She shuddered in Saemael's arms, clinging onto him tightly than before. Her eyes shut as she forces herself to believe that she made the right decision. She felt SAemael slowly pulling away from her but she held onto him. "Thank you. Thank you for coming back to me." She whispers to him, wiping the tears in her eyes before allowing him to release her. He stares deeply into her as she tries to hide the pain she felt.
"Just for you." Saemael lovingly mutters while caressing her face.
"I Love you." Jandi softly whispers to him as she assisted him to stand; Ga eul embraces her brother. Jihoo and Woo bin eyed Saemael and when they saw no signs of danger; they gave him a smile and pat his shoulders. Jandi informs them that Saemael's body is still recovering and that she wishes to let him rest. They agreed and assure them that they will follow soon after. "We're going home. See you." Saemael declares before disappearing with Jandi.
-0-
Seo Jin acknowledges JUnpyo's request as the latter disappears out of sight, knowing full well how painful it was to be rejected. Her heart goes out to him as she felt his spirit crushed from what he just witness. Jae kyung stirred, her face wet with tears as she attempted to come after her best friend. She tried to stand up but was stop by Seo Jin who shook her head.
"But .." Jae kyung objected when YI Jung held her shoulders. "Let him be! He needs to be alone!"
Seo Jin knows that YI jung has a point. It might take time but Junpyo will be alright. He just needed time to heal, all of them needed time to heal. After all, this incident didn't just happen for no apparent reason, it was fate. She closes her eyes, releasing all the overwhelming feelings she had kept inside for so long when she heard his footsteps, approaching towards them. Even though her back was again him, she could still feel his strong presence as it clearly syncs into her. Surprisingly, she found it impossible to believe that her brother didn't even stop him from coming closer to them. "Can I have a word?" Came his voice, so gentle yet so strong.
Her silence serves as his cue to proceed as he passes between Jae kyung and YI Jung who were already on their feet, clearly giving them space and time. He was sure that both purebloods where not akin to their decision to leave if it weren't for the fact that they too have unfinished business with his siblings. So without looking back for Ga eul and Woo bin he sat beside Seo Jin who was still caught in a trance.
Her thoughts where of the times; when she was still young, her father's handsome face smiling gently at her, giving her utmost confidence when she first acquired her vampiric powers. Long before Jae kyung and Yi Jung where born, she was his only princess, his most precious daughter, as a father Darien had given her everything, the will to be strong, and the power to believe in oneself. And just like he always dreams, she did become strong and confident. He had thought her a lot of things, especially, the fact that even vampires can love. Yes, he did, because long before her father betrayed his best friend. He fell in love with a certain beautiful woman, Arianna, their mother. Looking back, she smiled and closes her eyes, whispering words of goodbye to her father as she watches the dark sky.
He was next to her. His presence so calm and serene that she sighed deeply, thanking the heavens that he was back from his usual self. Jihoo hesitated. Sighing. As he tries to compose himself, for what he was about to say to her. For starters, he needs to explain everything to her. To ask for forgiveness and to tell her how much she means to him. How everything doesn't matter, just as long as she is with him. Everything will be alright. But somehow this thoughts where only engraved in his mind as he seems to have a difficulties putting it into words. He furrowed his eyebrows totally finding the right words to reason to her.
"This is gorgeous night." Seo Jin serenely spoke as she continues to looks at the sky, feeling the man besides her fidgeting. Jihoo looks above and agreed with her. Surely the stars compliments the moon as it shadows them, he tenderly smiles, knowing full well that she was trying to lighten his moods when it should be other way around. "Yes indeed." He answers, eyeing her.
Silence fills the air and to avoid the further eeriness of the night, JIHoo begun to speak as Seo Jin did. Same exact words, caught up in unison as they abruptly look at each other. "I'm sorry." They both spoke. And somehow it surprises her how those words seems to warm her soul, she tries to fight the tears that were already watering her eyes.
He exhales deeply fighting the urge to hold her hand. "Seo Jin, I .. I am terribly sorry for what I've done to you and to your clan."
"You don't have to. What my father did was a taboo to our kind. His actions where unforgivable and as the law stated, he deserves to be punished. Killing a pureblood was a heinous crime, he never should have committed that act and for that he paid the price." She stated. "So don't be sorry, for I would have done the same thing if it happened to my family." She continues eyeing him with her sad eyes.
"Seo Jin." He mutters as he couldn't believe what he was hearing from her.
"I understand JiHoo. So it's okay, you don't need to explain anything. In fact, I am thankful." She tenderly looks at him, finally letting the tears fall. "I am thankful because, if this didn't happen, I would have never met you. So thank you JIHoo. Thank you coming into my life. Thank you for saving me all this time." She cries whole heartedly, pulling him closer to her as she embraces him one last time.
JiHoo was stunned. His body; which was grazed by her warmness as she hugs him tightly, froze, as his hearts ached. She was embracing him lovingly, as he wanted it to be but why, why does it hurt him? Why?
"JiHoo, you are a pureblood. This … all of this belongs to you and your family now." She says. And he felt the most excruciating pain he's ever felt as his heart shatters. Then in a flash, he stood their looking at her retreating back as she lets go of him. "Goodbye Jihoo!" Her whispered words still lingering in his ears as he stood there, speechless.
-0-
When Saemael had gone with Jandi; Ga eul decided to explore the mansion one last time, her feet leading her to a familiar place. She whole heartedly smiles, as she realizes where she was at. She was surprisingly at one of the massive halls the So mansion have, the exact ones where she first meet him. She closes her eyes, feeling the hall, as she struts in the middle of the dance floor. Her hands in her heart as she spins around, imagining that special night when he walks towards the bar, the crowd parted to allow him to pass, to reach her. Her imagination so vivid as she approach the bar without opening her eyes. She reaches it, her hands closing in on the counter as she remembers the exact place where he sat, even with the absences of the high stool. She went behind the counter, her back against it, as her eyes where still close, memorizing every detail of the place where she fell in love with him for the very first time.
Yi jung looked back at his sister who was sitting on the ground, looking at the sky when Jihoo sat next to her. His twin sister, nods at him, disappearing soon after the three of them came to an agreement. An agreement in which involves, leaving the So mansion and the vampire world to the hands of the Kang pei clan, after all, they were the first heir purebloods, deserving heirs to Vlad Dracul. To him it was nothing, in fact, even before Seo Jin had made the final decision, YI Jung had long thought about it, for in the first place, he wasn't really interested with all those politics anyway. As a matter of fact he was more than happy to let them lead on. But there is one thing that he didn't want leave behind, it was of course her. Chu Ga eul. He didn't want to leave, at least not yet, not before he gets to see her. So he sets off to find her, he was sure; she was still in the mansion as he tries to feel her presence. Without a doubt, he felt it soaring high in the air as he flash step towards her location.
He suddenly appears behind her as she was leaning against the counter of the bar where he was first enticed by her beauty. Her hands rested on it, fingering every tiny details of the smooth surface. He could tell that she had her eyes close as she always does when she's solemnly thinking. He leans next to her, his elbows slightly touching the fabric of her dress which sends electrical impulses to his whole being. He smiles, knowing that she still had this full effect on him, making his body enthusiastic even with just the slight connection. He looks at her face, the face that magnifies perfection and solidarity. Every features like of a goddess, never fading, and such beauty to look at. Yi Jung waited, waited until she finally drifts away in her trance as she seems to be in deep thoughts.
Ga eul felt the connection between them as he stood behind her. Opening her eyes, she looks at him in her peripheral vision, seeing the pronounce So Yi Jung smirk displayed in his face.
"Straight 151 shot, please" Yi Jung begun, that smirk still plastered on.
She laughs at his orders, remembering that this words where the first ones he uttered that special evening they met. She turns towards him, fighting the urge to gawk at him when she was face to face with him. "Coming right up!" She happily replied, bending down to take out a shot glass, just like she always does. She expertly made his drink, pouring the alcohol on the glass and when she was done, she presented it in front of him. "Thank you Miss!" He took the drink, the alcohol running down his throat. After putting down the glass, he saw her make other drinks, donning two shot glasses, one for him and one for her. She raise her glass and drank the alcohol as he did, their eyes locked into each other's stares. She was the first one to break their eye contact when she put down her glass. He eyed her sadly, reality coming back to them as he needs to break the ice.
"We're leaving." Yi Jung breaks the silence, eyes still lingering on her. "All of us." He continues as Ga eul now stares at him with a surprise expression written in her face. "Seo Jin decided to leave the So mansion and the ruling of the vampire world to you Kang Peis. And … Jae kyung and I agreed, JiHoo, you, Woo bin will be great leaders."
She remains still, quite astounded as to hear the sudden news. "Especially you, Ga eul." He continues. "You're strong and kind hearted. Those characters make a fine leader." He stated.
"Yi Jung." She spoke for the first time. Her throat dries as she fights the urge to cry. Somehow, she has an idea where their conversation is leading and she's starting to feel pain.
"It's okay Ga eul. This is for the best! After all, I've missed traveling." Yi Jung tried to be strong as he felt his heart shatters. Hearing her voice, seeing those eyes water makes him want to cry. He looks down, avoiding it as he blinks to stop himself from shedding a tear.
"But.. I … "She painfully sighs, couldn't make out the words she wanted to tell him.
"What is it?" He asked her, hoping, praying, that she'd tell what he wishes to hear.
"…. I'm sorry." It wasn't the words he wanted to hear but it was a start. "For deceiving you and for hurting you, Yi Jung. I didn't mean to. .." She cries, looking down at her hands as she avoided his gaze. He held her hands, moving closer as he turns her body towards him. He wipes the tears in her eyes and kisses her forehead. "You don't have to explain, it doesn't matter. What matters is I Love you and I don't care about what happened, all I care about is you." He whispers.
".. And I love you too, Yi Jung. .. but why? Why are you leaving?" Ga eul finally submits to her emotions, as her heart was screaming for her to say those words. For once in her life, her mind and body agrees with her heart, as they acted into one, finally succumbing to the feelings she felt a very long time. There were no arguments or constant fighting between her conscious and subconscious towards her decisions in life. For once she wanted to be free, free to love, free from the hatred she'd felt for him.
"… Because this is what we need. This is what we all need. We need time to heal. To heal the wounds that were severed for a long time. To find ourselves, of who we truly are. Not just for ourselves but we do it for our love ones too, for our family. Ga eul, my sisters need me, just like JiHoo and Woo bin needed you." Yi Jung painfully sighs, now releasing the tears in his eyes as he embraces her tightly. ".. just remember Chu Ga eul, when the right time comes, I'll come back to you. Only to you Ga eul… I love you my Soulmate." YI Jung cries and kisses her passionately.
Ga eul clings onto him, kissing him back like there was no tomorrow. Their faces wet from the tears falling from their eyes, both of them were crying, as they allowed themselves to feel each other. She held him so close, so tight, that she doesn't want to let him go. It was hurting her, hurting her so bad, tearing her heart into pieces. She wanted to stop him from leaving. But she can't, because she knows he is right. They can't be selfish right now, after the entire ordeal they went through, it was miracle they all made it alive. Even though the root of all this bloodshed was forever laid into rest, the fact of the matter is, the damage was still there, it lies in their hearts, it wasn't far beyond repairable but it surely will take time. As she felt his arms pulls away from her, his back away from her, she couldn't help but sobs painfully. Her breathing harsh as the tears falls. His retreating figure, slowly walking away from her, his feet dragging him farther and farther away from her and just as he was about to disappears. She screams at him.
"YI Jung, I'll wait for you. I'll wait for your return, no matter how long it takes." She sobs.
And when he hears it, soft sobs where coming out of his chest, as he couldn't control it anymore. He wanted to turn around, to run towards her but he chooses not to. It's hard enough not being able to say goodbye to her, let alone face her at his weakened state, so in order to give his acknowledgement to her promise without turning back, he raise his hand above him and gestures a wave of goodbye before he vanished.
-0-
Woo bin knows exactly where to find her as he arrives at the lake house. She was precisely in front of the lake, throwing rocks at it as she sat there with her hair swaying from the breeze. It was still dark yet in 2 hours the sun is about to come up. He silently approaches her, his heart beating rapidly as he comes closer. She must have sense his presence as she turns her head towards him, her eyes glistening from the moonlight. He stares at her, marveling at her beauty, as always, she is the most beautiful being he's ever laid eyes on. He sat next to her, not failing to notice the blush in her cheeks. He smiles to himself as he realizes he still has the same effect to her.
"What are you doing here?" Jae kyung started as she tries not to ignore the loud beating of her heart.
He smiles. ".. I came to see you."
"Why do you want to see me?" She asked, obviously trying to mask the immense happiness she felt when he is close to her. He looks at her momentarily, before responding. "Because I wanted to know where we go from here."
His words didn't surprise her at all. Ofcourse she knows that he wanted to know where they stand, she herself wanted to find out too. After all, there was no denying about how they feel towards each other, they love each other and just before he even confess to her, she believes he is her destined half. But what now? What happens to them after that sad ordeal? What happens to the love they shared after knowing everything that has happened in the past? Would the horrible past matter to them? Would it keep them apart? Or will it make their love for each other stronger? Those were the questions that fill in Jae kyung's mind as she tries to contemplate on how to tell him all of that.
He sighs desperately as she didn't answer. "Jae kyung, I know we've been through a lot and right now I need you to answer me. Do you love me?" He didn't hesitate, nor hold back any words. He needed to ask her. He needed to know. He needed to hear it from her, because he's willing to forget the past, to erase those horrible memories in his mind just for her. Just for it to work out.
"I do. God knows how much I love you … but that isn't good enough Woo bin!" She answers him, facing him confidently as the tears in her eyes falls.
He was surprised to see her crying, the pain in her eyes so intense that it hurts him. "What do you mean, it isn't enough? If you love me and I love you, how is that not enough? It's more than enough Jae kyung. More than enough for me!" He scrutinized her reaction as he stares at her face.
Jae kyung sighed, looking down. "Things has changed Woo bin! A lot of things happened."
He knows exactly what she's talking about. So he tells her. "We can forget about the past Jae kyung, We can erase it in our memories, we can be together. I don't care about what happened! I don't care at all." He explains.
"No I can't. We can't! My father killed your parents, my clan destroyed yours. We took everything you hold dear and I just can't forgive myself for not even showing the slightest remorse towards my father. I should hate him. I should curse him but I don't Woo bin. I don't! That's why I can't just be with you and not face the consequences. If the council finds out about this, we will be sent to punish. We will be prosecuted! That's why I can't be with you! I have to protect my brother and sister. I have too…." She sobs.
"That won't happen! I won't allow it! JiHoo won't allow it!" Woo bin looks at her tenderly, cupping her chin.
She pulls away and said. "It's already too late. The council has been notified and they will send an army to bring us to justice soon. I'm sorry Woo bin but Seo Jin has decided. We will be leaving soon." With that said and done she stood up, slowly walking away from him. She gathered all strength, mustering all the courage she could as she force her body to move away from him. It was too hard. Too painful to leave him. But she knows she needs to, right now the only that is important is her brother and sister's safety.
"Jae .. wait .." Woo bin stands up, approaching her from behind.
"Stop right there, Woo bin! One more step and I will end my life before even the council gets the chance to take my head." She warns him, crying painfully. She heard him gasped and realizes that he stood there frozen just watching her. "So long Woobin!" She sadly spoke and with that she vanished right in front of him, leaving him shattered as he hold onto his heart.
-0-
Just this once! Junpyo thought as he was at the Kang Pei clan mansion looking at her who was taking care of the sleeping Saemael. His vivid eye sight sees her beautiful face, smiling lovingly towards SAemael as she tucks him in. He ignores the stinging pain in his heart and told himself that for the last time he would see her. He thought of it for hours now and convinces himself that he truly loves her, he will be happy for her. And he will, because even though it hurts, just by seeing her smile, looking happy is more than enough for him to move on. He was leaving. They all are. But before that, he needed to say goodbye to her. So with more discreet and swift motions, he vanished from where he stand, appearing behind Jandi who was now outside the veranda.
Jandi felt his aura and suddenly turns around eyes wide open. "Junpyo!" she steps back a little, surprised from his sudden appearance. "What are you doing here?" Her eyes roam around to see Kang Pei vampires around, fearing that if they ever see him, jUnpyo will be killed.
"I need to see you." He walks towards her.
"For the last time Jandi." He reaches her.
Then without expecting it, she was in his arms, embracing her so tight that he was cutting her circulation. But surprisingly, it didn't bother her, in fact, she finds it comforting. She didn't know how long they were in each other's arms, nor care if someone will see them. Being this close to him just seems to right; her body yearning for his touch; relaxes as she wraps her arms around his back. God knows how much she wanted to stop the time, god knows she wanted to turn back time and wishes that she knew him the other way around. Not like this, not when she has to give him up because she has no idea how can she survive without him. Thinking about it, makes her breathing heavy, she tried to control the tears but it wasn't just possible. Crying will only make it worst but her body couldn't just bare the pain.
Junpyo felt her pulls him closer and that made him happy as he inhales her scent, treasuring every detail, every features of her body. "I love you" He whispers to her, his voice mix of longing, pain and happiness. Her sobs increases as if acknowledging his feelings, Junpyo pulls away and without hesitation, stares deeply into her eyes. She stares back at him, lost in it as flash backs from the past couple of years they've been plays back in her mind. She cries, tears falling down her perfect face. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She sobs.
He wasn't prepared for the words she throws at him. And for the first time he finally understood her feelings for him. She did love him. In fact she loves him very much. And then he finally cries, shedding the tears that were long due. "don't be! Just tell me, tell me how you feel?" He tenderly looks at her as she nods. "I love you Gu, Junpyo! I love you very much! And I'm sorry, I'm sorry that we can't be together.. I can't do anything.. I can't fight for you when I'm bound to a promise." He understood this! He fully understood this! It was a vampire promise, bound and secured by blood, power and will and that will never be broken unless it was release by Saemael himself. And junpyo knows it was impossible, it will never happen! So without holding back, he kisses her passionately, tenderly, even just for a small period of time. Just this time. He doesn't care. Every moment was precious to him.
Jandi played with his tongue as she kisses him back with everything she goT! At peace with herself, she finally accepted that it was truly him she loves and will forever loved. Even when she is with Saemael, her heart will truly belong to him. Only him. She finally let go of her emotions as the kiss they shared were warming her soul. She will remember this, the way how he kisses her. And then finally as minutes passed, jUnpyo pulls away and cups her face.
"Good bye Geum, Jandi.!" She knows this is it for them and so she muster a smile. A smile that didn't reach her eyes as she confidently held herself in front of him. She promises to herself, she wouldn't make it harder for them. Especially for him. So with all the courage she can muster, she says. "Goodbye Junpyo." With that he nods at her, turning back from her, and painfully disappears.
Jandi didn't closer her eyes, she stares at his retreating figure even though her eyes were clouded of tears. She wanted to engrave his memories in her mind and when she felt his presence gone, she finally lets her emotions sinks in as she staggers to the floor, kneeling, sobbing, embracing herself for the intense pain. She cries whole heartedly, not knowing that someone above her, looking down at the terrace, was painfully watching her. His heart breaking as he realizes, it is time to let go.
Author's Note: thank you guys for reading this story.. here is chap 18. Hope u like it.. Mikaelv and Monirosez! Thank you for the support and reviews.. u gys are amazing!