Sabrina ran two blocks before she stopped to furiously flag down a cab. Once inside the dingy vehicle that smelled faintly of cabbage, she stared out of the window and tried to collect herself; both her heart and head were pounding like the drum section of a high school marching band. She was positively furious, and her hands were clenched in fists in her lap. She wondered if that's what he did when he wasn't with her. How dare he! Couldn't he wait just a few more days until she was gone before moving on? Apparently not.
After paying for the cab, Sabrina hurried inside the hotel and up to her room, her hand trembling as she slid the keycard through the slot. And that's when it hit her. What the hell was she mad about? She'd been warned by Harry, and she'd been told of Dan's reputation numerous times – what had she honestly expected? A marriage proposal? Not to mention that, but the reality was that she had zero claim on him. She was a fling to him just like he was to her, so why did she feel nauseous, like she'd been betrayed by her best friend?
As she paced around the room, Sabrina's inner voice started to answer the question, but she cut it off right away. She was just having a weak moment was all; she'd let her guard down a bit too much. She played the game, and she played it well. The heart never got a game piece; she knew better than to allow that.
Wine. She needed wine. That would help calm her down and get her thinking rationally again.
Thirty minutes later, the phone rang. Sabrina glared at it, telling herself that she should ignore it. But then, what if it was Harry? She'd feel bad if she ended up ignoring her cousin just because his co-worker was a Grade A jackass.
With a heavy sigh, she gave in and grabbed the receiver, saying a quick prayer to whatever deity might be listening that it would be Harry.
"Hello?"
"Sabrina – please don't hang – "
The second that she heard Dan's voice on the other end, Sabrina slammed the receiver down. Dammit! She knew she shouldn't have answered it.
When it rang again, Sabrina waited for it to stop and then took the receiver off the hook. At least Dan had enough sense to not show up; she was thankful for that.
Reaching for the wine bottle, she poured more of the magic liquid into her hotel-issued plastic cup that would help her continue to ignore the hurt that she felt. Then she leaned back against the pillows and repeatedly told herself that she didn't care about him or what had happened in his office one bit.
The next day, Sabrina stayed in bed and watched television. She was nursing a bit of a hangover and didn't feel like doing anything. So she didn't.
The image of that woman sitting on Dan's lap never left Sabrina's mind, though, as many times as she tried to forget it. It made her mad on one hand, but it made her feel like a fool on the other. She'd whole-heartedly believed that there was another version of Dan – one that his co-workers were not allowed to see – and it had made her feel special that she'd been the one to see it. She wasn't accustomed to that feeling; she usually kept herself emotionally distant from men on purpose. But she'd thought Dan was different. She'd believed him when he said that he'd told her things the others didn't know. She'd believed the happiness that had shown in his eyes when they looked at each other. Even though she hadn't told him that she was moving up yet, there was a small part of her that was hoping he might be interested in still seeing her once she did. Apparently, the truth was that it was all just part of his game. Who knew if his stories were even true? Maybe he made up new ones for new women. She had to admit – he was good. She'd certainly fallen for it.
Around six-thirty that evening, there was a knock on the door. Sabrina's stomach did somersaults, and she briefly considered not answering.
Looking through the peephole, she was relieved to see one of the hotel staff standing there, so she quickly opened the door.
"Pardon the interruption," the older man said, handing her a note. "But a Mr. Stone was worried when we couldn't ring your room after numerous attempts. Have you been having problems with the phone?"
Sabrina was embarrassed, and she knew her cheeks were probably pink. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't feeling well and took the phone off the hook for a while. Guess I forgot to put it back."
"Can I get you anything? I believe we have some sample size cold medicine available."
"No, that's all right. Thank you for the message."
After closing the door, Sabrina immediately felt awful for making her cousin worry and quickly dialed the courthouse before he showed up at the door to check on her.
"Where are you?" Harry asked his voice full of worry when he finally got on the phone. "And what's going on with Dan? He won't tell me anything and looks guilty as hell."
It was obvious that Harry was upset, but the last thing Sabrina wanted to do was cause their workplace to be awkward.
"I'm at the hotel. I think I caught a little cold or something – I've been in bed all day. I don't know what's wrong with Dan, though. He – uh – hasn't said anything?"
"Not a word. So nothing happened with him last night then?"
Sabrina chose her words carefully. "I didn't see Dan after I left the courthouse."
Harry sighed on the other end. "I don't understand. He's so out of it – very sad. It's not like him. I figured something happened between you two."
Sabrina glanced up at the ceiling where she sat on the bed, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "I need to get something to eat. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Can I do anything? Get you medicine or something?"
"No. I'll be fine. Thanks, Harry."
After she hung up, Sabrina thought about what Harry had said. Why would Dan feel sad? Because he got caught? That didn't make much sense. As she considered what to do for dinner, she tried to put it out of her mind. It didn't matter, anyway. She just wished that the knot that had lodged itself in her stomach would disappear.
Sabrina had been in bed for at least a couple hours when quiet knocks on her door startled her. She'd been having a difficult time going to sleep, especially after her dinner hadn't agreed with her. She climbed from bed, her heart racing, and hoped like hell that it was the hotel staff again.
Looking through the peephole, she gasped when she saw Dan standing there. And he did look sad. His shoulders were slumped, and his eyes were fixed on the carpet. Was that stubble on his face? She told herself that she wasn't going to open the door, but she knew that she'd just lie awake the rest of the night if she didn't. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.
Guilty brown eyes lifted to meet hers as he clasped his hands in front of him submissively.
"I'd understand if you never wanted to see me again, but I would appreciate the chance to explain what happened first." His voice was soft and sounded uncertain.
Sabrina bit her lip as she stared at him. She really didn't want to let him in. She wanted to continue her assumption that he was a player because, to be honest, it was easier. The knot in her stomach tightened painfully. She supposed she could at least hear what he had to say.
"Come in."
Dan barely got four steps into the room before facing her and starting to speak.
"Technically, you don't owe me an explanation, you know," Sabrina quickly told him, sitting on the edge of the bed and crossing her arms.
"But I do," he insisted, tossing his coat into the nearby chair and kneeling in front of her. "Sabrina, I'm so, so sorry. That woman – she doesn't take no for an answer. She walked into my office and just – "
"What – came onto you?"
"Yes! I've known her for a few years, and she always expects to get her way. I told her to – "
"And does she usually get her way with you?" She really didn't want to believe him, but the way his eyes were pleading with hers was confusing.
Dan looked like a scolded puppy. Glancing down in shame, he simply answered, "Yes she does."
With unjustifiable and completely irrational anger brewing inside her again, Sabrina got up and walked away from him. She told herself that she was being stupid, but she couldn't change how she felt. She wanted to believe that he was blameless so bad.
"Sabrina, please – "
"I don't know how to respond, Dan," she exclaimed, facing him as he stood. "I'm angry and hurt, yet I have zero reason to be. She's obviously someone that you've spent lots of time with. I'm just a fling – I mean absolutely nothing, and yet I - "
"That's not true," he insisted, taking two long steps towards her. "You mean a lot to me. Sure, I've had a few romps with her, but we've never talked about the things that you and I have. I've never felt as if I could tell her anything and everything like I feel with you."
Sabrina narrowed her eyes. "And how do I know that you didn't give her the same story?"
When Dan's face fell, his Adam's apple bobbed slowly when he swallowed, and Sabrina instantly regretted her caustic question. He nodded a couple times and shrugged while the knot in her stomach threatened to expel itself.
"I guess you don't," he said sadly, his gaze suddenly hard towards her as he straightened his shoulders defensively. "But I thought – rather, I'd hoped – that you did."
When Dan turned away from her, heading for the door with no further word, Sabrina was flooded with a wave of guilt and a burst of emotion that she wasn't expecting. He'd been so open with her about everything else. Perhaps he was telling the truth now.
"Dan, wait," she called out, going after him. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."
Without turning around, he said, "Sure you should have. It's true. I'm scum. I just thought that maybe this time could finally be different, but I guess not. Who would believe anything I say? I'm just a user, right?"
Sabina wasn't sure what she was doing, but she knew that she wasn't ready for him to leave yet. She needed to hear his side of the story. "Um – why don't you tell me what happened?"
Dan turned around to face her, and the disappointment dulling his eyes cut her deep. "Will it matter if I do?"
Sabrina couldn't blame him for the bitterness in his question; she deserved it. "Yes, I think it will. Please tell me."
He stared at her; it seemed as if he was trying to decide if her words were true or not. Or maybe if it was worth the effort.
"Her name is Sheila," he began, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "She works in the building, and I first approached her a few years ago. Since then, we've been together maybe six times. She comes around when I'm otherwise occupied, you could say."
"What does that mean?" Sabrina asked, sitting beside him.
"Well, I was drugged the first time we were together and don't remember any of it."
"She drugged you?"
"No, no. Long story. We'd had a hostage situation in the courtroom, and I accidentally ate some of the food that had been drugged for the criminal."
"Oh…okay."
"Apparently, we had an amazing time, and initially, she said that we wouldn't see each other again. Then she visited me when I was in the hospital for surgery and ended up putting me in a coma."
Sabrina gave him a skeptical look. "Dan…seriously?"
He held up his hand. "Scout's honor. I woke up with Harry asleep on my chest. You can verify everything with him. Ever since then, she seems to only come around when I don't want to see her. She's – um – very dominating. She wants what she wants when she wants it, and that's it. She's more of a game player than I am, if you can believe it."
The knot in Sabrina's stomach was finally loosening a tiny bit. "Is that what happened in your office?"
"I'm sure she'd heard about you, so suddenly she wanted me again. She came in and just behaved like she always does, assuming she can have her way with me. What you didn't see was me trying to get her off of my lap, and what you didn't hear was me telling her to stop."
Sabrina nodded as she studied his eyes and posture, looking for any indication of lying but not finding any. His eyes didn't leave hers, and he wasn't fidgeting at all. "What happened after I opened the door?"
"She clung to me like a hungry octopus after I called your name. Once I finally got her off of me, I knew it was too late to go after you. I have felt sick about it ever since which is why I decided to talk to you about it tonight."
Sabrina had to admit that it all sounded like truth, and his face expressions and mannerisms matched. She knew what lying looked like. He looked sincere. The knot lessened a little more.
"I want to believe you."
Dan's gaze was desperate; she'd never seen that look on his face before. "I swear, Sabrina. That's what happened."
She thought for a couple minutes. She knew that he knew she could get confirmation – or not – from Harry about a lot of it, so she decided to take his story as fact. She didn't want to be mad at him; she wanted to believe him, and her gut instinct told her that he was telling the truth.
"Okay."
His eyes were large and full of hope as he stared at her. "Okay? You mean – you believe me?"
Sabrina offered a small smile and nodded, the last of that damn knot finally dissolving. "I believe you."
Relief filled his face as he reached for one of her hands to hold. "I'm so sorry," he repeated.
"You didn't go after her, Dan; at least, not that time. I've known women like her. I know her type and how demanding they can be."
"But it hurt you and upset you and that in turn hurt me and upset me, too. We had quite an argument about it. Harry knew something was up because I was a mess worrying about what you were thinking."
"Did you tell him anything?"
"No. Did you?"
"No. And I don't want to."
"I won't say a word," Dan assured her as he let go of her hand and stood. "Um…I guess I'll go. Forgive me for showing up so late, but I just had to talk to you and try to straighten things out. I was afraid that you'd never speak to me again."
Sabrina stood, as well, feeling much better about everything. "It's okay. I'm glad you came by." She reached for his hand and held it between hers as a new kind of knot formed in her stomach; that time because of anticipation. She'd missed seeing him and didn't want him to leave. "It's already so late. Maybe you should just stay."
When Dan lifted his free hand to caress her cheek, she leaned in to his gentle touch. "I would love nothing more. But perhaps I shouldn't."
Gazing into the eyes of the man that she knew she was falling for, Sabrina told herself that she should run – distance herself from him. She was going to be leaving in just a few days, anyway. This was the perfect opportunity.
"Just stay," she said with a smile.
Well, so much for that.
Dan returned Sabrina's smile, looking more like himself, and wrapped his arms around her, one hand cradling her head as it pressed against his chest. She held on tight and inhaled deeply the clove and leather scent of his cologne that she loved, acutely aware of the fact that she cared for him more than she wanted to admit. She'd tried so hard not to, but she couldn't lie to herself any longer, and she swallowed the lump that was burning the back of her throat.
"I'm sleepy," she said, quickly stepping away from him in a futile attempt to rein in her building emotion. "Let's go to bed."
"Yes ma'am."
Dan took off everything but his boxers and under shirt, made a quick trip to the bathroom and then joined Sabrina in bed.
"Thank you for believing me," he said, snuggling up against her, his arm over her waist. "I can't tell you how much that means to me."
Sabrina inhaled deeply, feeling quite content at the moment, and thought that perhaps she would finally be able to sleep and snuggled closer to him. Sleeping alone had always been her norm, but the night before had felt all kinds of wrong without him. "Thank you for telling me the truth. That means a lot to me."
"You mean a lot to me," Dan whispered, giving her a little squeeze.
Sabrina fell asleep a few minutes later with a smile on her face.
Happy New Year!