CH. 2
A/N: So, I had fun with this one. Emma breaking the fourth wall, Clay being a smarty-pants, and a healthy dose of Raikim make for a good fanbase, I'm told. Also, you can tell I don't know how to play chess, so I completely skipped the game. Sorry. But otherwise, I hope you enjoy!
The Xiaolin Warriors looked into the abyss that separated them from their goal. The pipe they were walking in had been perfectly normal up until they stumbled upon the huge hole in the pipe. It quickly disappeared into the blackness, so they couldn't see how far it reached.
"Ooh, chasm. I've always hated chasms," Dojo said. "Especially in tunnels! I can never fly over!"
"So... ya think this is the first test?" The Warriors cast disparaging glanced at the Irish girl. "What? WHAT? Why are you guys always looking at me like that?"
Kimiko rolled her eyes and turned back to the hole. "We can't go into it-"
"- we can't go past it-" Omi added.
"- so we'll go over it," Clay finished. The others gave him the you-crazy look, which he ignored. "Courage is the test first faced, to make it you must be fast-paced. Ah reckon it means ya gotta go back a ways, then take a runnin' leap an' hope ya make it."
"Are you sure?" Omi asked, leaning precariously over the edge. "I think a most unpleasant demise awaits us if we fail."
"I don't hear anyone else coming up with any better ideas," Kimiko sighed, standing. "Wish we'd brought the Jetbootsu or Mantis Flip Coin or Monsoon Sandals or something."
"True. But I cannot make an ice bridge over it, you cannot jet us across, Clay cannot make an earth bridge over it and Raimundo cannot fly all of us over. To do that, we would need to know how far away the other side is," Omi speculated.
"No kidding," Raimundo muttered. "Anybody wanna go first?"
"I'll do it." The Xiaolin Dragons turned in surprise to the resident witch-in-training. "I'm just a Warrior, not a Dragon. If you guys croak the world'll be in serious danger. If I do, it'll probably be a better place."
"Emma, are ya sure?" Clay asked. "We ain't that important."
"Are too." She spun around, dashing away in the direction they had come from.
"Great, she's finally lost it," Raimundo said, facepalming.
"She had it in the first place?" Kimiko asked. Then a blur of black and green sped by, leaping over the chasm. Time seemed to pause for a moment as Emma disappeared into the darkness. The Dragons watched and waited for a scream, but none came.
"... Emma?" Clay called. For a moment, there was no response, and they feared the worst. Then a familiar voice replied.
"C'mon over, it's not far at all!" They exhaled as a group, sharing glances as they mentally debated who should go over next.
"Ah reckon Ah oughta go now," Clay drawled, glancing into the receding murk of the tunnel. "Dojo can make it over if Ah can get at least halfway."
"Wait, what?" the little dragon asked. Clay backed up, then ran forward, jumping across. Dojo screamed and covered his eyes as they disappeared into the dark.
"Emma's right, it ain't far!" Clay called from the other side.
"I think I saw my life flash before my eyes... and I get filthy stinkin' rich!" Dojo said happily.
"I will go next," Omi offered, moving back. "Raimundo, you can fly Kimiko over, correct?"
"Yeah, I think so," he said, nodding. Omi nodded back and leapt across. However, he tripped on exiting their side of the tunnel, plummeting into the chasm.
"OMI!" Kimiko screamed, she and Rai starting forward. But a lasso shot out from the darkness on the other side and hooked Omi's ankle, pulling him back up.
"We can still see into the hole," Emma called, her relief evident in her voice. "Omi's okay."
"You okay, lil' buddy?" Clay asked as Omi was pulled into the darkness.
"Oh, I am most okay," Omi replied. "I do believe my timing was off, though."
"C'mon, you two, fly over!" Emma called. "We're all fine!"
"Ready?" Raimundo asked Kimiko. She nodded, taking the Torch for him as he built up a gust of wind. He grabbed her around the waist so she wouldn't fall halfway across the chasm, letting the wind build up a little more. Which, of course, wasn't an excuse to enjoy the fact that her arms were wrapped around his torso, and if he moved just a little he could very well kiss her-
Then he realized what he was thinking and lost control of the wind, sending both of them rocketing across the pit and crashing into the others. Everyone hit the ground, Kimiko ending up sprawled on top of Raimundo.
"Love on the battlefield," Emma giggled, pointing them out to Clay, who began snickering. Kimiko and Raimundo quickly realized what they looked like and moved apart, both blushing madly.
"Way to make yer move, Rai," Clay chuckled, nudging the Brazilian with his elbow. Raimundo blushed harder, looking anywhere but Kimiko.
"Cut it out, you two, we got a Wu to find," he snapped, heading forward. Emma and Clay continued to snicker about it behind them as Omi followed, confused as to what they found so funny.
"Okay, one test down, two to go," Kimiko said, hoping to change the subject.
"Yeah, you never did tell me what I said," Emma added, frowning.
"First you said there would be trials. 'Courage is the test first faced, to make it you must be fast-paced.' So we passed the first one," Raimundo said.
"Next ya said, 'secondly, a test of mind, death is what the failures find,'" Clay said.
"Ooh. That's pleasant," Emma said, though it was difficult to tell whether she was being sarcastic or not. "And the last trial?"
"'Last you must not ever stray from the path you've laid today. For if you give up the fight, the water takes your life tonight,'" Omi recapped. "So if the first was a test of courage, perhaps the second will be a test of intelligence."
"Yeah, that's how it always goes in the movies," Dojo muttered.
"But we're in a TV show, not a movie," Emma sighed. "Actually, a poorly written fanfiction, but whatever."
"Fer th' last time, we ain't in a TV show! Where are ya gettin' all these ideas?" Clay sighed.
"They're not ideas, they're fact. And the fangirls support it! Right guys?" Emma asked, facing the screen. The others looked in the same direction, confused.
"... What are you looking at?" Kimiko asked slowly.
"You can't see them, can you?" Emma asked. The others shook their heads. "While I'm breaking the fourth wall, I'd like to thank Xiaolin Fan and TheXGrayXLady for reviewing Bits and Pieces. It's an awesome collection of drabbles also featuring me, and y'all oughta check it out. Yay for self-promotion!"
"What?" Raimundo cried in exasperation.
"Never you mind," Emma said, walking on. "Well, c'mon, we got a Wu to get!" The others snapped out of it and followed, still trying to process the extents of Emma's... specialness.
After a while, a dim light came from ahead. They entered a large room that looked more like a cave. However, the floor was perfectly flat. They climbed down into it, looking around to see what their next challenge would be.
Kimiko was the first to spot it. "Uh... guys?" she called, looking at the giant chessboard set out in front of them. "I think I found the next challenge."
"A giant chessboard in a cave," Emma muttered to herself. "It's the Sorcerer's Stone all freakin' over again."
"What was that?" Omi asked, the only one to have heard something.
"Nothin', O. I vote Raimundo does this one!" she said, walking up to the others to gawk at the giant board. "I hate chess. Wizard's chess especially."
Raimundo glanced at Kimiko, who shrugged and twirled a finger next to her ear. Raimundo chuckled and turned back to the board.
"Look, pieces are missin'," Clay pointed out. "Ah recon we gotta take their places and play."
"Okay. Omi, you'll be a pawn. Kimiko will be the queen, Emma will be a rook, Clay will be a knight and I'll be the king, okay?" Raimundo said.
"If you were my king, ooh, I would be your queen," Emma sang, nudging Kimiko and grinning.
"Will you knock it off?" the Dragon of Fire roared as Emma ran, giggling, to her spot. Kimiko gritted her teeth, annoyed at how everyone thought she liked Raimundo. Oh, sure, he was handsome, talented, funny, sweet... no! Nonono, she did NOT like Rai! No way, no how! No matter what that stupid leprechaun said!
"We're white, so we'll go first," Raimundo said. "Pawn 5 to E4." The game continued on, painstakingly slowly. But Raimundo was a good chess player, and had the black pieces in check several times. However, they always managed to slip out of his grasp. He put his mind to work, mulling over each decision with the tenacity he usually reserved only for poker night and betting matches for soccer.
"... Time out," Raimundo finally said. The black pieces acquiesced, and he pulled his team in for a huddle. "Guys, I've got a plan, but I don't think you're gonna like it."
"Probably not, but go ahead," Dojo said nervously from his perch on Clay's hat.
"My plan is gonna get us out of here alive, I promise. Only problem is, to make it work, one of us needs to take a dive," he explained, glancing at Clay. Everyone turned to the Texan, who had already realized what his friend meant.
"... Ah trust ya, Rai. If me goin' down means we can win, Ah'll go down."
Emma gave his shoulder a reassuring pat and a small smile. "Atta boy."
"Okay, just follow my lead." The Shoku relayed his plan to all of them, making sure they understood what to do. They then walked back onto the chessboard, Raimundo watching the other team carefully. A few more moves went by, then he set his plan into action. "Knight 1 to G8." Clay strode towards the square, knowing perfectly well what was about to happen. He stood in front of the black queen, the only obstacle between his team and victory. He tipped his hat to her before turning back to his leader. "Now?"
"Now!" Raimundo yelled. Clay spun back around and jumped, vaulting off the queen's throne and into the pipe that began again on the other side of the wall. The others followed, dodging would-be fatal blows from the stone chess pieces. They all made it to safety, Raimundo waving to the chess pieces they'd left behind.
"So long, suckers!" He followed the others down the winding pipe,
Tenzin Torch lighting their way. They slowed to a walk once they'd put some distance between themselves and the chess pieces, then burst into laughter.
"Nice job, Chief," Emma chortled, wiping her eyes as they walked down the pipe. It was much larger than the previous one had been, and branched off left and right every now and then. However, they had opted to keep going straight for the time being.
"Oh, yes, we certainly had the fall on them," Omi agreed, grinning. "They were most dumified by our angry talents!"
"... We had the drop on them, and they were stupefied by our mad skills," Kimiko translated. "Nailed it!"
"Awright, Rai, ya did a good job, but ya don't have to keep making that fan screamin' sound," Clay said.
Raimundo raised an eyebrow. "What fan screaming sound?"
"Y'know, exhalin' like yer fans are screamin' fer ya. It's startin t' get annoyin'."
"Uh, I just stopped." Both boys froze, making the others stop in confusion. "Who's doing that?" Everyone closed his or her mouth, but the sound only got louder. A lot louder.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that sounded like a..." Dojo trailed off as a gargantuan cobra rounded the corner, as slow as if it knew they'd be paralyzed with fear. "... snake." It's scales glittered a shade of green that looked haunted in the Torch's light. It's eyes were a shock of yellow, contrasting deeply with the emerald hue on it's body. Black lines marked it's body like racing stripes, narrowing near it's tail.
"Giant snake in pipes. Any originality this story may have had dies now," Emma muttered to herself. "J.K. Rowling, I offer my sincerest apologies for the butchering of your genius."
"Just back away slowly," Raimundo whispered. "We had these everywhere back in Rio, and the worst thing you can do is make sudden movements."
"You had giant asps?" Emma squeaked.
"Actually, asps are found in southern Europe, not South America," Clay murmured. Everyone gave him the you-crazy look (again,) and Omi glanced back a little further than the others.
"Uh... would now be a bad time to mention the group of angry stone chess pieces behind us?" he asked quietly. The Warriors turned, standing in a circle with their backs to the center.
"So, basically, we're screwed," Emma said. Kimiko nodded as she replied, trying not to look the snake in the eyes. "Ohh yeah."