Chapter 7
I woke the next morning beside the long-dead fire ring. Rin and Chiyoko were nowhere in sight. I rubbed my eyes and looked around once more. The sun was already high and it was late morning. I could smell Sesshomaru nearby, but I couldn't decide if I wanted to see him. I knew I had to talk to him about what I was doing here. About why he looked so tired. About Chiyoko's creation. There was much I still didn't know.
I sighed and walked toward his sent. I could not yet see him when I heard coughing. Sesshomaru coughs? The sound only became worse. I stood still and listened, figuring Sesshomaru would not appreciate an audience in his moment of vulnerability. The coughs subsided until there was silence again. Hesitantly, I continued my approach. He was just a few yards in front of me when I realized I was nervous. This powerful demon lord, my brother, this man who has towered over me without being taller, and shaken me to my core without having touched me, just had a moment of weakness right in front of me, and I was sure he knew it. I wasn't sure if I should be flattered or frightened.
I gingerly sat on the grass next to him, crossing my legs as his were. I looked over at him and immediately wished I had never come to see him. I gasped and stumbled over the sight, though Sesshomaru was calm, staring at his blood-covered hand. Red stained his lips as well, making his skin look sickly white in contrast. His eyes moved from his hand to my face, but his head remained still. Staring at me now, he wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand, then smeared the mess onto a cloth in his lap.
He composed himself and sat up straight. It seemed for a moment that he would pretend nothing had happened just then, but after a moment he spoke.
"You have questions, Inuyasha. Ask them."
I wasn't sure that I should speak after what I had just witnessed. There were a thousand and one thoughts in my head. Why was this happening to him? How? Demons to not get sick, or cough, or become tired. Demon lords do not have such moments of weakness. Sesshomaru cannot be anything but perfect unless I say otherwise. After a short time, I found my voice.
"You… you haven't been yourself. Why? What's wrong?" Once I started, I couldn't stop the flow of questions, and my voice became louder with each one, "Why is Rin living with half demons? Where did Chiyoko come from? Where are they? Why are you bleeding like that?" In my despair and confusion, I got closer to him, I was almost touching him. I almost did, but remembered I was not allowed. My voice became soft again as I asked my last question. "Why are you so… weak?"
For a long time, we said nothing. The only sounds were birds singing and the wheeze of Sesshomaru's breathing. He looked at me like he has never looked at me before, and I imagine, no one else. His face was stoic, but different. He looked tired. Old. There was still a smudge of blood on his chin. And his eyes… they were sad, pleading, distressed. I looked into those tired eyes as they searched mine for something I could not fathom. The situation was surreal. I had never seen him so weak. So human. In that moment, it seemed like he was my equal, perhaps less than that even. I gave myself permission to touch him.
I laid my hand ever so gently on the shoulder that had no limb. He put his hand on mine. His large, hot, perfect hand. He was touching me for the first time. Gently. He continued to look into my eyes. We were equals then as we never had been before.
Softly, he began to speak. But I didn't want to hear what he was saying. "Inuyasha… for a long time, you were nothing to me. You were not my brother. You were less than human. You were less than dirt. I have changed. And I wish I could have changed sooner." I looked at the ground. Anything but his face. "I will not lie to you, Inuyasha. Though, right now, I want to lie. I want to tell you that you are here now because you are my brother and I have brought you with me to ask for your forgiveness. I am dying, Inuyasha." I squeezed my eyes shut. My head hung low, my hand still on his shoulder.
"Why?" I asked weakly. "Why now? How?"
"I have been cursed by someone more powerful than I. It is slow, and unpleasant, but it is only spring, and I will last until the next frost, I believe. I decided, after much thought, that I want to spend that time doing what I can for the future of our kind. That includes you. And Chiyoko. There are others, and I will take you to them before my time a-"
I shook my head vehemently, over and over, not wanting to think about the words he was saying, and what they meant. I could not lose him. I was not ready to hear this, just when he accepted me. Just as I became his brother. Really his brother. It was unfair of him to tell me this now. I didn't want to know.
I pulled my hand from his shoulder but he caught it and held on. "I will not speak of it now, Inuyasha, for your sake, but mark this. It is a reality you will have to face sooner than later, and I am sorry. Believe me, brother, I am sorry…"