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Thank you Tenshin-no-Tsubasa, and JJ for reviewing!
Disclaimer: I don't own KHR but I do own Yukiko
Ikitai yo kimi no soba ni chiisakutemo chiisakutemo
Ichiban ni kimi ga suki da yo tsuyoku irareru
Negai wo nagare boshi ni sotto tonaetemitakeredo
Nakanai yo todoku darou kirei na sora ni
I Want To Go To Your Side, Even If Just For A Little While
I Love You The Most, This Strong Feeling Never Left
I Tried Silently Wishing On A Shooting Star
But I Won't Cry, My Wish Will Reach That Beautiful Sky
I spent six years killing mafioso and the people connected to them. Six years of tainting my hands with their blood. Coming back to Namimori to finally have peaceful life and not be near any mafioso was a dream that I wished for.
To have my childhood friend, the one I couldn't wait to see, become the one thing I hated sucks. I can't even describe how much it sucks. And you know what the worst part is? I still want to be with him. I still want to go out and talk to him like nothing happened. Catch up on the six years we haven't seen each other. Even if it's for a moment I wouldn't care. As long as I talked to him.
A bitter chuckle came out from my mouth as I stared at the light night sky. Here I am wanting to go be friends with the one thing I hate a mafioso. I'm one messed up girl .I believe this is karma at its' best. Either that or I did something to piss off fate.
"Stop your moping! You still have your whole life ahead of you kid. Why waste your time on this?" Momoko stated. I turned back and gave her my scariest glare before turning back to the sky.
"Just face this head on. What you think is anger is actually fear. You're afraid that you'll lose more than you actually have. That's why you thought revenge and killing was the best option there was, but it isn't. Maybe it's best this way kid. Maybe now you can finally face your fear head on without making your way around it."
"You don't understand." I hissed my hands clenching my teddy bear even harder. She doesn't even know what I feel! So how can she think my anger is fear? She doesn't know what I went through!
"What I don't understand is why a girl who has killed hundreds of people, is holding a stuffed animal." She joked before coming to where I was. I glared at her again to which she put her hands up in mock defeat.
"Okay, well make me understand." She stated taking a seat by me on the bed. I sighed and buried my head into the teddy and mumbled something about old hags being nosy before looking back at her.
"I hated the mafia because they ruined my life. They took away the things I loved. Prime example Reina." My grip became tighter and I became angrier as I went on. "They destroyed my childhood and stole my innocence! I hate them to my very core!" A hand covered mine snapping me out of my anger. I looked at Momoko who smiled at me. My grip relaxed and I took a deep breath.
"Coming back was a dream that I thought would have never come true and voila you come. I was excited and nervous to see him and I was happy when we met. Then this hoodlum comes, to tell you the truth I think he was the one who corrupted my clumsy Tsuna," I rambled getting off topic. Then the old bat smacked me on the head and gave me a look to continue. I stuck my tongue out at her and rubbed my head.
"Anyways, he was all like 'You better not be seducing Jyudaime to become his right-hand man' or something like that." I mimicked making my voice all deep. "Oh and he was smoking too! I hate smoking." I cried out throwing my hands up in exasperation. Momoko gave me another look that said 'either-get-on-with-the-story-or-I-will-hurt-you'.I gulped and scooted closer to window ready to jump out.
"Then this baby comes and he says he's Tsuna's home-tutor and he asks me if I wanted to join the family. After I ask about it he tells me that Tsuna is going to be the next Vongola boss." I sighed and hugged the teddy closer to me.
"I know he's not lying because I've heard about the Vongola family. They're one of the main families in the mafia world." I said softly.
"What was the baby's name?" The old bat demanded giving me a stern look. I looked at her surprise. She never talked to me like that whenever we would talk. She also seemed more sober now than usual.
"Reborn?" It sounded more like a question as I watched her face become dark. Abruptly she stood up and walked quickly to the door. She paused for a second at the door before quickly going out. I stared after her confused. There's no way she knows that baby, right?
"Go to bed! It's four in the morning!" She yelled from down the hallway. I shook my head and laughed at myself. I'm just being a little paranoid now. There is no way that old hag is connected to the mafia.
"Why do you always stare at the stars?" Cy asked me . I sighed and laid down.
"Because I just want to." I stated not really wanting to tell her. She scoffed and laid down next to me.
"That's not a good answer." She muttered lightly hitting me. I chuckled and playfully pushed her. I took a deep breath and sat up. A gentle breeze blew causing my dark brown hair to tickle my face.
"Well it's an answer." I mumbled. I could feel the glare she was giving me. I sighed and looked up. No harm in telling her right?
"I like to think that he looks up at them as well." I answered smiling a little. Cy placed her hand on my back and lifted herself up.
"Do you love him?" She asked. My jaw dropped as I turned to her a little surprise.
"W-What?" I cried out, my facing turning red. She smirked and ruffled my hair.
"There's my answer." She chuckled before getting up. She stretched and looked down at me.
"Just don't let it get away on our missions." Her face became stern. "You have to know that something as small as that would get away in our goal. Don't let you're feelings for someone make you weak. That is what makes it easy for someone to target you. From now on forget your past and what happened at least until we get our revenge." She took a deep breath and stared at me. Her eyes were so emotionless that is actually scared me. It made me wonder what happened to the old Akane whose eyes always shined.
"Remember what they did to us! Don't forget it. The mafia needs to pay. And do you think they'll go easy on you just because you have something to want to go back to? No they'll use that to their advantage. Forget what you feel, forget everything. Don't let nothing get in the way of our goal. This is the only way Reina can finally rest in piece. Please don't let something so small and insignificant get in the way of that." She sighed and started to walk back to the hotel.
"We may be young but we can use that to our advantage. No one would expect a few kids to be assassins. It'll make our job easier and it'll help if you comply with becoming a stone cold killer for that as well. We need to make the mafia feel what we had felt. For that we need no emotions because they are useless to us and will get in the way." She called out.
"Love him?" I scoffed and laid back down. "She's a bigger idiot than I thought." I mumbled lightly glaring at the sky. My glare softened as I thought about the rest of the things she said.
"Emotions are not useless. It's what makes us human. But for me to help reach out goal, I have to become inhuman. I can't do that. I may be able to hide my emotions, but I wouldn't be able to completely forget what it feels like to have them. I guess I fail as an assassin, but I'll do my best for our goal. I'll just use my memories as an escape like I did from my first kill." I mumbled closing my eyes.
"It's time say goodbye to the old me. To Zurui Yukiko, the girl he knew. I need to become someone even he wouldn't recognize. Someone who is willing to do anything to get what they want. But the thing is, can I become that?" I whispered to myself.
The wind blew causing my hair to fly on the sides of my face. It wasn't long enough to cover my face, which I actually do miss. I sighed and pushed myself a little more on the swing. I stared at the bare playground a little sad. It's been a long time since I've been here and it brings back so many memories.
I looked a little away from the park to where a lot of trees where. I slowed to a stop before getting up. I walked towards the patch of trees and sat down under a big oak tree. A smile grew on my face as I lightly touched the tree. I looked back up at the bright sky and leaned against the tree.
It was here that we snuck out to see the stars. It was here that we made great memory, one that I would use to get away from this world.
I sighed and closed my eyes. Six years ago I made a silent wish on a shooting star. A wish that everything would be the same and we'll still be great friends. Six years later it wasn't the same. IT changed a lot. But, even though one part of my wish didn't come true doesn't mean the other wouldn't as well.
Even though he's the one thing I hate, I'll bear that just to be friends with him. I want my life to go back to normal. Even if normal means that I'll be friends with the one thing I hate. But if I'm not, I'm afraid that my life wouldn't be normal. No not without him.
I'll make one part of my wish to come true. Even if it means I betray myself and them. I'll betray those years of silence and hatred to find something better.
I opened my eyes and stood up. I wasn't going to cry about this no more. Because I now know it's better for me to face my hatred dead on than finding excuses as to why I couldn't. My revenge and hatred only prevented me from actually dealing with it, but not this time. I'll prove to that old hag and Reina that I can deal with what I hate. And then one day my wish will reach the stars and come true.
I smiled to myself. I wasn't going to runaway anymore. I wasn't going to hide anymore. Maybe if I do this, Reina my be able to rest better.
Hiro and Akane will most likely hate me for this, but I too need to show them the cruel things we've been doing like Momoko had showed me. I want them to see that even in the darkest place there is a light and it is our salvation. They must know that there is someone who is willing to help us if we let them.
I found mine and he doesn't even know it. Tsuna may be understanding but what I done might make him hate me, but I'll take that risk because how can I live my life knowing that he didn't know what I did for six years. He'll pull me out of this pit of darkness, well I at least I hope he will.
It has been so long that I've been able to be myself without having to watch out and wonder about if someone is watching. It's been so long since I could be my old self. I guess for those many years I did become a true assassin or could I just have been hiding? Maybe that's why it's so easy for me to act the way I used to. But why does it also feel so suffocating?
Well I hoped you guys liked this even though I feel like this wasn't the best I could do -.-
Please give me reviews. I like to read what people think of this so far.
A person can go so far on inspiration alone you know ^.^