Well, here I am with a second chapter! This one is Estranged by Guns n' Roses. Please enjoy. Hermione next chapter! ^^
...
Well I jumped into the river too many times
to make it home
I'm out here on my own, an drifting all alone
If it doesn't show give it time
To read between the lines
'Cause I see the storm getting closer
And the waves they get so high
Seems everything We've ever known's here
Why must it drift away and die?
...
The feeling Sirius had felt when he found out he had been disowned he remembers as the worst moment in his entire life. Sure, he'd hated his family. He'd hated them with all he had, actually. He'd even left them of his own accord. But still, it hurt. The thought that they had given up on him, that he was a disappointment to anyone, that was terrible.
But that feeling didn't match the horrible, gut wrenching feeling of your best friend dying by the hands of another friend, and being accused and thrown in prison without trial for the murder. It just gave him things to think about.
Here in his cell, curled up in the form of a big, black dog, thinking of nothing but how he was alone, how he had no one, and probably never would again. He should have seen it coming, how giving the location to anyone but himself was a mistake, but he hadn't known it at the time. He should have seen it, but he hadn't, and now he was paying the price.
All by himself. Not even Michelle had stuck up for him, which is what hurt the most. Would there ever be anyone who trusted him? Believed that he hadn't killed James and Lily, and injured baby Harry? Probably not. No, they all thought of him as what he was-a drunk, a scoundrel, a skirt-chaser, a burnout. They wouldn't see him as a top Auror in the Order, James Potter's best friend, Harry Potter's godfather, loving suitor of Michelle Perez, Outstanding Hogwarts student; none of that mattered to them, now that they believed he'd killed his two best friends. And Remus? He'd even left him.
Were they ever his friends at all? Michelle, Remus, Peter, the other members of the Order? Had they ever loved him? Had his parents ever thought twice about disowning their son? Did they love him?
A small whimper escaped him. He went by unnoticed.
He didn't ever change back. If he did, all he felt was this horrible feeling of lonliness. They'd all left him of their own accord, leaving him stranded him by himself. James would have stuck up for him. James and sweet, kind Lily. They would have believed in an instant that he hadn't given them up to Voldemort. Of course they would have. They knew the truth-that it was Peter's duty to keep the secret. But he liked to think they would have believed him anyways.
Sirius had taken to talking to himself. Even though he was a dog, the sounds that came out of his mouth were words, words only he could understand. It was as if no one was there at all if he spoke to himself. They couldn't understand him. They probably didn't care either way.
It was so dark in his cell, that he couldn't even see himself. If someone from the outside were to look in on him, all they would be able to tell of his existance would be a few little no-face whimpers and whines.
That's the way he liked it, though. Maybe someday they'd forget about him.
He didn't expect to stay here forever, oh, no. He had too much in his life ahead of him to stay in this dark, cheerless cell. No, he'd get out if it was the last thing he did. And if everyone forgot who he was and that he was there, he'd definitely have a far better chance of escaping.
He had several reasons for needing to break free. First, he wanted his name cleared. He didn't want to be associated with anyone on the same side as his family, or with anyone not Gryffindor enough to man up and stick to what he believed. Second, he wanted to find Harry. He needed to know that Harry was okay. He was really number one in Sirius' thoughts, but to find Harry would mean to have Harry trust him, meaning he needed to clear his name. Third, he wanted to find Michelle and make sure she trusted him and still loved him. How long had he been in this cell? Two years? Three? It was the ultimate test. Did she love him enough to stick around, to believe that he was telling the truth when he said he'd escape and come back for her? Did that matter to her? Sirius needed to find out.
And finally, what Sirius wanted more than anything that wasn't listed above, was revenge. Sirius wanted revenge on Peter for getting him sent here. He wanted revenge on Peter for giving up James and Lily and having them killed. It was all his fault. Another thing he wanted revenge on was the ministry, who was so corrupt they couldn't tell a hero from a traitor anymore. They needed to be taught a lesson as well, it seemed.
But these were the things egging him on. And when he saw the sunlight for the first time in 12 years, he knew exactly what he was going to do.
He was going to find Peter, and he was going to kill him.
...
Hermione comes in during the next chapter! She'll only be thirteen, so nothing really happens, but then she comes in for sure in the few chapters afterwards! Hooray! ^^