September 5, 1918

Downton Abbey

"Matthew, do you have any obligations?"

"Yes, to my mother"

There were nods around the table, it was only to be expected.

"And I have a ward, a young girl"

Only Violet and Sybil did not stare slack jawed at Matthew.

Matthew told them the history of Marie Claire. The whole time he watched Mary. When she first realized what he was saying her eyes widened and it looked like she said a silent 'oh' then she slipped on her porcelain mask. From then on she displayed no more emotion about what he said than if he had been telling them about a flight of ducks he had seen.

No questions were asked of Matthew although he could see questions in their faces. Well he may as well give them something else to think about..

"I have a problem. When the war is over I have to get Marie Claire to North America. My mother can pick her up anywhere on the eastern seaboard. She will not be able to go back with me on the troop ship. I could smuggle her on the troop ship but I would risk losing custody of her if I were to be found out. If any of you have any ideas on how she can get across the Atlantic I would appreciate hearing them." He thought his best chance would be with Sybil and Tom fleeing west from her father's wrath but maybe someone would come up with something better. "Now if you will excuse me I am rather tired and I think I will retire early. Good night your Lordship, Ladies" Matthew nodded and left the room.

Robert broke the silence that followed. "I do not see that this changes anything, Matthew has a daughter..."

"She is his ward" objected Sybil.

"A technicality. It is clear from what he says that he loves her like a daughter. I imagine that at some point he will adopt her. The Estate can support another daughter. A son would have posed a problem" He could see the ladies were puzzled. "For the entail I mean"

Mary stood up "That damn entail is all you can think about!" She threw her napkin on the table and stalked out of the room.

Robert looked at Cora. "What?" She rolled her eyes at him.

"I will take Marie Claire"

They all turned to look at Violet.

"I have always had a desire to see Canada."

A desire which had never before been expressed to any of them.

"I will take Marie Claire"

They all turned to look at Cora.

"You know that I would like to see my family in New York as soon as the war is over"

Tom and I will take Marie Claire Sybil thought. When we run away.

I will take her. Sir Anthony and I can take her on our honeymoon Edith thought.

So now I have another daughter Mary thought as she stomped up the stairs.

With each step up she got madder so that by the time she reached the next floor there was no question that she was going to have it out with Matthew. She did not bother to knock on his door, she just stormed in. Matthew was already naked from the waist up.

"When were you going to tell me you had a daughter?"

"She's my ward."

"A technicality!"

"I answered honestly as soon as the question was asked."

"You could have volunteered the information!"

"Like you volunteered what a great actress you are?"

"What do you mean by that?"

Matthew didn't answer. She was so beautiful. She was flushed and she was panting. She was glaring at him. She was .. she was passionate. Audacity, always audacity. He walked up to her. He reached up with his hand and cupped her cheek. He tilted her head. He leaned down and kissed her. There was the briefest of hesitations and then she responded. Her hands went up around his neck. He reached around her and pushed the door to his bedroom shut...

She felt like purring. She had never felt this good before. Certainly never with ... it seemed like an entirely different act altogether. She stretched beside him. She reached up and played with his hair. She had hours before she had to sneak back to her own bed.

"This was a mistake" he smiled at her.

"It is a fine time to tell me now, after the deed is done" she smiled back at him.

"No, it's not that. I think I've busted something loose down there."

"What?" Mary threw back the blankets. Matthew's dressing had come loose but at least there was no blood.

Mary leapt out of bed. She started putting on her clothes. "What do we do?" she asked.

"Go find Sybil and have her bring a dressing up here. Don't act all furtive, you'll make people wonder. Just say that I found you and asked you to get Sybil because I had a problem with my dressing. All of which is true." Matthew looked at her. "On second thought go back to your room I'll ring for a footman and he can go get Sybil"

"No I will do it"

"Well then do something about your hair. You look pretty dishevelled and your dress doesn't look like you have it on right.. Not that I mind but the others may look askance at you."

As it turned out Mary went back to her room and rang for Anna. While Anna was getting Sybil she took her hair down and changed into a nightgown and a dressing robe She then went back to Matthew's room.

-0-

Sybil had a hard time restraining herself. "I will not say I told you so"

"Then do not" snapped Mary.

When she finished applying the new dressing Sybil said "The old dressing should have held to tomorrow morning, I cannot imagine why it came loose, especially since you had gone to bed. You must have had a bad dream. Or maybe a particularly good one."

"I really couldn't say" Matthew replied. Behind Sybil Mary was standing with her arms crossed, chewing on her lower lip.

Sybil started gathering up her first aid supplies. "In future be more careful how you ...dream" She winked at Matthew. As she was passing Mary she bumped Mary's hip with her own. "You too Sis". They could hear her laughing as she walked down the hall.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Mary closed Matthew's bedroom door and leaned with her back against it.

"What now?" Matthew stood by his bed.

"You do not have to worry about doing the right thing"

"I always worry about doing the right thing, it is part of my rustic charm."

"You can only go so far on charm"

"Have I gone far enough?"

"I cannot say"

"I would like to ask you to marry me"

"Because of that" she waved at the bed.

"Notwithstanding that, all that did was confirm the passion"

"The passion?"

"That's what we call it in Canada, may be you call it something else in England" he squinted at her "Or maybe what I felt was passion and you were just acting?"

"Acting?" she worked it out "You have been talking to Grannie. Did she put you up to this?"

"No, she suggested I kiss you"

"When she asks, and she will ask, what will you tell her?"

"That I kissed you" there, there, there and there Matthew smiled at the recollection. Mary crossed her arms over her chest. "Come here"

"What?"

"Come here" Mary made no motion to come to him so he walked up to her, took her by the hand, and lead her to the bed. He took her dressing gown off of her and threw it on the end of the bed.. He pulled back the blankets. "Get in" She got in "Slide over" She slid over and he got in beside her. He rolled on his left side to face her. "Now where were we?"

She ticked off the points on her fingers "You said you would like to ask me to marry you, but you did not; you insinuated that I did not know what passion was; and you also insinuated I was acting"

"Well let's start with the last two first. I could not tell whether you were acting. To me you were in the throes of passion. You told your grandmother you were a very good actress. Were you acting just now?"

"No"

Matthew kissed her. "Do you know what passion is?"

"Yes, now I do"

"Is there passion between us?"

"Yes"

Mathew kissed her again. He did not say anything..

"Do not fall asleep. You are not finished."

"You are insatiable"

"Not that. You said you would like to ask me to marry you. It sounds like that there was a silent 'but' at the end of that sentence. But what?"

"But..." Matthew turned so he was laying on his back.

Mary moved so her head was on his chest. "But ..." she prompted.

"But you do not love me"

"Grannie told you that?"

"She said you did not love me yet"

There was a long pause. Mary turned away so Matthew could not see her face.

"She was correct" Mary could feel Matthew's chest tighten under her. "Let me explain. A week ago I was locked in a dark room. I had been there a long time. I had locked myself in there and thrown away the key. I was hurting myself. I was hurting Patricia being there. But I could not help myself. Then you came along. You were not gentle and patient like my parents have been, waiting for me to let myself out. You just kicked in the door. And I came out into the bright sunshine. The brightness has blinded me. It has only been a week and I still have not recovered all my sight. Until I can see clearly I do not want to say anything which may not turn out to be true."

Matthew did not say anything. He did start stroking Mary's hair.

Mary continued. "I am not rejecting you. I am not saying you are just a friend. You are more than that to me. When I do recover all my sight I want you to be there. I want to really see you. Then I will be able to speak the truth"

Mary quit talking, Matthew did not start. They lay there for a long time like that.

After a time Matthew stopped stroking Mary's hair. She could feel his breathing become slow and even. She slipped out from underneath his arm and got out of the bed. She bent down and kissed him on the forehead and then she left for her own bedroom.

Matthew opened his eyes and stared at the closed bedroom door.