The Man Who Laughs
Zombozo had heard stories, stories about another clown invading his town. Everyone in the criminal underworld said it was the notorious Joker. But Zombozo didn't believe it for one second.
"A bigshot like him wouldn't bother with this dump of a town, but still, if he's really here, maybe he'll kill Ben 10 for me."
Finding the Joker was surprisingly easy, if you were a villain, because many of the average mooks wanted the pay he was offering.
One of them looked at him, "You're lucky; Joker said he wanted to meet you."
"Really, I'm flattered," Zombozo walked in with a swagger and confidence, hoping that Joker would cut him in on his plans for Ben 10.
He could see the criminal in an expensive purple suit and a joy buzzer. His green hair and pale skin were creepy enough, but the Glasgow smile on his face was even more unsettling.
"So you're Zombozo," Joker greeted him dismissively.
"I'm flattered you wanted to meet me," Zombozo replied, trying to play it cool.
"Don't be, I just wanted to see the guy who claims to be the Alien Weirdo's nemesis. I thought that title belonged to some octopus face named Vilgax."
"I used my Psyclown machine to suck the life out of my audience, and I almost got Ben 10 too!" Zombozo tried to make it sound more impressive than it actually was.
"But he beat you," Joker replied.
"Well, yeah."
"Is that supposed to be impressive?" Joker scowled.
"What do you mean by that?" Zombozo asked. "I have quite a notorious criminal career; I'm a nemesis of the Alien Hero. I even tried to kill Ben's mother, but his stupid cousin stopped me!"
"You think you're a villain?" Joker screamed. "You suck the laughter out of people, fat boy. I send people to the Funhouse in the Sky. When ol' Saint Peter asks sad sacks how they got there, they say, "Joker sent me with a smile on my face!" I fill entire graveyards! You tried to kill a woman and got scared off by a little girl! You're pathetic, and I refuse to let a cheap knockoff wannabe Joker steal my thunder!"
Zombozo tried to fight, using all his gadgets.
He used his Seltzer first; he began spraying it at the Joker straight into the homicidal maniac's face, right in his mouth.
To Zombozo's shock, the Joker actually started drinking the acidic Seltzer that could split trees in half.
"You should be screaming in pain!" he shouted. "Why aren't you dead yet?"
"I've been shot in the face, dropped off a great height and been beaten up by more than any normal human being, I swear I've died quite a bit and yet I'm not dead. Your little Seltzer acid is a cakewalk."
Joker pressed the flower on his suit and sprayed his own acidic formula at his counterpart.
Zombozo managed to avoid it, but the Joker removed three playing cards and launched them at him. Zombozo tried to dodge them, but one of them sliced his shoulder open.
The Joker was suddenly hit by Zombozo's giant extending arm. He flew back and landed on the ground. He used his steel streamers to tie up the Joker.
"You're not that tough Joker, I wonder what makes you so famous, you're no challenge at all."
"Heheheheheheh!" Joker began to laugh. "You think you're all that? I'm letting you do this to me because I'm the one having fun!"
"What?" Zombozo shrieked.
Joker suddenly stood up and with a strength that Zombozo could only describe as inhuman, he snapped the steel streamers, and stepped forward, punching and kicking him in the face as the Clown Prince of Crime sprayed him with his notoriously infamous Joker Gas.
Panic overtook him and Zombozo grabbed his hammer and tried to fight him off so he could get away.
Joker wrenched the hammer from Zombozo and began beating him with it, repeatedly pounding his skull over and over again. Blood began to splatter on the walls and covered Zombozo's face.
"Hahahahaha!" He howled. "Now this is funny! Come on Fat Boy, who's the real funny man around here?"
"Stop! Stop!" Zombozo shouted. Joker didn't listen. He continued beating him until his face started to bleed.
"Now, what to do first," Joker began. He seemed thoughtful. "Do I cut out your tongue; do I shoot you in the head? It's all so interesting!"
"Please, please, I don't want to die."
"Says you and everyone else in the world!" Joker cackled.
Joker took out a gun and aimed it. Zombozo winced and prepared to die. He looked up and saw the BANG flag as Joker fired the gun.
"Phew!" Zombozo breathed a sigh of relief.
"No, not relief, just death, and a mighty entertaining one at that!" Joker smiled as he produced a small knife.
"What are you doing?" Zombozo asked fearfully.
"What do you think I'm going to do?" Joker asked.
"No! No! NOOO!" The clown started shrieking and screaming and wouldn't stop.
Joker began to laugh as he moved the knife toward Zombozo's eyes. He wondered how long the clown would survive all the things he planned to do to him. He had a feeling it wouldn't be very long though.
Later…
Joker was making the finishing touches to his plans. Everything was almost ready and his glorious plan was proceeding as he'd envisioned, but he was almost bored, where was Batsy? Or this Ben 10 fellow? Sure the Red Hood was there, but it wasn't the same, at least the flying rodent brought a challenge to the table, unafraid and determined to stop him. That's what made the games so fun.
Ben 10 had actually freaked out. The so-called Savior of the Universe was scared of clowns. It should have been funny, but he didn't find it to be funny at all.
The henchman ran into the room. "Boss, we got trouble, Ben 10's here!"
Ben and Gwen were simultaneously taking out the armed thugs. Kevin was across town, foiling a bank robbery. They had just finished knocking out the final goon when Joker opened the door and stepped out in a grand fashion.
"Well, well, the Alien Weirdo himself, I'm honored. Ben 10, it's nice to meet you!" the man said. Ben swore the face he was looking at was Zombozo's, but the voice wasn't.
"Ben, that's not Zombozo," Gwen warned.
"What?" Ben asked.
"You don't like my mask?" the Joker asked. He began peeling off the "mask" he was wearing. Ben began visibly shaking, he saw skin. Human skin and dried blood. That wasn't a Zombozo mask, it was Zombozo's face.
"Now you know what you're dealing with," Joker taunted. "Do you still think you can stop me?"
"I might die trying, but I sure am going to try!" Ben slapped the Ultimatrix and turned into Humungousaur.
The Joker smiled. "Ooh, big dinosaur, fun, fun, fun!"
Humungousaur attacked the Joker. He began punching Joker, he blocked his punches and immediately began slamming his knee into Humungousaur's face over and over.
"That's the problem with you hero types, you people always underestimate me!"
Ben felt pain shoot through his groin as Joker's knee connected with his body. He didn't even think that he could be hit there. Ben doubled over in pain as electricity jolted through him from an electric joybuzzer. The pain was too much. Joker began to pistol whip him across the face.
Gwen tried to run to him but she couldn't as several thugs grabbed her and began beating her in the face and kicking her.
Ben was overwhelmed by the group of thugs, they pinned Gwen's arms behind her back and tied her up.
They grabbed Ben and kept beating him until he could no longer use the Ultimatrix as they kicked him and beat him.
They tied him up as well. Ben stared at the Joker defiantly. "You're not going to get away with this!"
"Oh I will, and then I'll do what I want with this town."
"The only way you'll be able to do that is if you kill me!" Ben shouted.
Joker smirked at the Alien Hero. "You think I'm gonna kill you?"
He began to laugh, "No, you're not going to die yet. I'm not really here for you. I'm here for him."
"Him, what do you mean by him?" Ben asked.
"I'm talking about the Red Hood," Joker stated gleefully. "It was so fun, the last time I saw him. I can't wait for him to come here; it will be quite the party."
'Why would you want to kill a guy whose killing criminals?" Ben asked.
"We have a history, he and I; you could call it a vendetta."
"I'm looking forward to our reunion, but I'm happy to give you both a front row seats to his death."
Joker turned to his thugs. "Don't let anyone come in here, shoot anyone you see."
"Got it boss," the mook replied.
"Good, I'm going to take care of some business, if Hoodie shows up, kill him."
"What about the girl?" the mook asked.
"What about her?" Joker replied.
"We all…could have a little fun with her while you're gone."
"Don't be stupid!" the homicidal maniac snapped. "You're not dealing with Batman. If he were here and you raped the girl, he'd put you in the hospital for six months, rape the girl and Red Hood will kill you, in a very horrible fashion, probably much like I would. Leave the girl alone, it's not worth it, because I'd kill you, and it wouldn't even be funny."
"But boss, you've raped girls before, didn't you rape that Barbara Gordon chick?"
"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't, but when it comes to Barbara Gordon, all I did was shoot her in the back and strip her naked, and take pictures to mindscrew with Jimbo's head. I'm sick and demented, but I only do things if it's funny, rape is not funny, not to me anyway."
Gwen visibly shuddered at his words and how casual he was talking about shooting a girl in the back and taking naked pictures of her; she hoped this Barbara was all right somewhere.
Kevin Levin had slipped into the room, quietly listened to the activity in the room. This was his chance; he knew he could stop the Joker. But he had Gwen and Ben to think about.
He'd have to stealth his way through these guys. He stayed in the shadows, waiting for his chance. He saw the men spread out and begin patrolling the room.
He'd have to use all his skill taught to him by Batman to rescue Ben and Gwen out of here. Normally, he'd go in guns blazing, but he didn't want to accidentally shoot Ben or Gwen.
This wasn't the first time he'd done this, but it was far more complicated now that his best friend and his girlfriend were in the room.
Consider yourself lucky Joker, if you had even touched Gwen, I wouldn't have hesitated to kill you. If only it were two years ago, I would have given everything for a moment to kill you without Batman here to stop me. But things are much different now; at least I know they won't touch Gwen.
There are only ten guys, not much trouble. Kevin remained thoughtful. I could use my guns, but I don't want them to hear me.
Kevin used a grapple hook to pull himself up onto a high ledge. He spotted one of the mooks headed in his direction; he was separated from the main group.
He removed a sharp shuriken from his utility belt and aimed it at the mooks head. He knocked him unconscious and he hit the floor as Kevin jumped down and used his Kris to slit his throat. He wouldn't kill all of them; he needed one of them alive to tell him where the chemicals were.
He grappled to the other side of the room and ducked down into a grate that was there. Kevin heard the men chatting nervously.
"One of our guys is dead! The Red Hood is here!" They began looking around.
"What killed him?" Ben asked.
"I thought they said something about the Red Hood."
"But how would he know where we are? And more importantly, why would he rescue us?"
"I'm not sure, but if he helps us out, then it's better."
"I can telepathically contact Kevin; we don't need the Red Hood."
"That would be better I think," Ben nodded.
Kevin, come and get us, we've been captured by the Joker.
I'm in the middle of a fight now; I'll be here as soon as possible.
Hurry, we don't know when he'll come back.
I'll be there soon.
Ben looked at his cousin.
We could fight them off, Ben told her telepathically.
We're both too tired and they'd kill us before I could get a shield up. We should rest, Kevin will be here soon.
"Nine guys left, easy!" Kevin smirked.
Kevin waited until they left and got out of the grate, he spotted a large container and attached small explosives to the side and launched them at a small group of men; the crate threw the men into the wall and knocked him unconscious as Kevin ducked away. The other men found their friend and tried to wake him.
They began to search more frantically. They had found his former hiding spots with ease.
He turned around slowly and saw all eight of them staring at him, guns aimed at him.
"Well, it looks like you got me!" Red Hood smirked.
"Yeah, we got ya, and now we're gonna kill you!" the goons began to open fire.
Kevin somersaulted back and aimed his guns at them, shooting them through the skulls. Two dropped dead. Seven left. Kevin slammed his elbow into the man behind him, jabbed the man in front of him in the throat as he kicked the man beside him. Four left. He used the wall to propel him into another mook as he shot one of them through the heart. Two left. He quickly removed his Kris and threw it into another man as he knocked the final mook out with the butt of his gun.
Kevin walked over to them, "Well, I'm not surprised."
Ben smirked. "You gonna gloat?"
"No, not now," Red Hood told them. "It seems your third wheel is busy. I suppose I'll have to help you out."
"We don't need your help!" Ben retorted.
"And it was working so well," Red Hood said sarcastically.
"What did you do to Kevin? Gwen demanded, gripping the Red Hood by his shirt.
"Nothing," Red Hood stated calmly, "Absolutely nothing. Your friend is perfectly fine."
"Where is he?" Ben demanded.
"He's busy," Red Hood replied.
Kevin quickly cut the ropes tying them up and they climbed to their feet. He walked over and picked up one of the surviving mooks off the floor.
"So, where's the chemicals?" Red Hood demanded.
"I ain't telling you nothing!" the mook shouted.
"So, about your fingers…" Red Hood said, gripping the man's hands.
"What about them?" he retorted.
"I'm wondering about how many you still want to use after tonight," Red Hood stated calmly.
"What do you mean?" the mook sounded terrified.
"I'm going to break your fingers, and I'll be generous, I'm not going to cut them off."
The Red Hood broke the first finger.
"Please! Please stop! I'll tell you what you want to know, just stop!"
"Where's the chemicals?" Red Hood repeated.
They're in the amusement park! In the funhouse I swear to God!"
"Good of you to tell me," Kevin removed his Kris and slit the man's throat as Gwen let out a horrified shriek.
"Red Hood, you didn't have to do that! Ben shouted. "We could have used him to get more information!"
Kevin let them see the smirk beneath his partially broken mask, "He wouldn't have been anymore help to us. All these scumbags deserve to die."
Ben looked at him. "Why would you rescue us?"
"Did you really want him to kill you two?" Red Hood looked at him.
"No," Gwen told him.
"Then you should thank me," Kevin laughed, his mask had partially been shot off, below his mouth.
"Hood, what are you—?" Gwen protested as Kevin pressed his mouth to hers. Gwen pushed him away.
"Can't help it, I like pretty girls," he laughed.
"Consider yourselves lucky he didn't stick around," Kevin warned, "And Tennyson, if you're careless with him…you'll die. Don't make that mistake again."
He turned and left, using a smoke grenade to get away. They searched for him, but he was was utterly puzzled. "Ben what do we do?"
"I'm not sure. He's a lot like me, except I try not to kill people. I really don't know what to do. If he helps us stop Joker, then what will happen?"
"I have no idea," Gwen told her cousin.
"We'll just have to stop both of them."
Kevin came running in, looking around. 'What happened?"
"We found the Joker, he captured us, but Red Hood showed up and rescued us. Joker got away. Where have you been?"
"Looking all over for you," Kevin replied. "Are you all right Gwen?"
"I've got bruises but I'll live, Ben, you should rest."
"I was stupid and careless, I thought I could take him down like any other villain," Ben groaned. "I won't make that mistake again."
"Ben, we should call in Batman," Gwen told him.
Ben gave his cousin a funny look, "Like we can get him on the phone. "Oh, Batman, we got Joker in our city, come and help us." I wonder why he hasn't shown up already."
"I don't know, but maybe we could get someone who knows him, maybe that Nightwing or Red Robin or Robin or Batgirl. They all can't be too busy to give us a hand."
Kevin knew for a fact that Batman was busy dealing with the Court of Owls, Batgirl was dealing with Mirror and Robin was with Batman, Nightwing was busy and Red Robin was running around with the Teen Titans.
He couldn't tell them that of course, Kevin knew he'd have to take care of this himself. He'd stop the Joker, and keep Bellwood safe, all without Batman; he just hoped he'd get to the chemicals before Joker did.