Hey, guys! Alright, this is where I start to stray from the original story line a little bit, if I haven't already...

I don't own Harry Potter or Welcome to the Jungle by Guns n Roses. ^^

...

Welcome to the jungle

It gets worse here everyday

Ya learn to live like an animal

In the jungle where we play

If you got a hunger for what you see

You'll take it eventually

You can have anything you want

But you better not take it from me

...

Sirius woke up to cool fingertips brushing against his forehead. His eyes shot open and the fingers were immediately gone, making his skin prick, as if on fire. As his vision cleared, he could make out several things: One, he was back in his bedroom. Two, he was naked. And three, there was a strikingly beautiful witch at his bedside, leaning over him with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"There, he's awake, you can leave now."

Sirius' eyes jerked away from Hermione Granger's brown one's in a split second at the sound of the voice that made his stomach do somersaults. He tried to sit up, but felt a burning pain rip along his right hip and his spine.

"Michelle?" His voice was hoarse. How long had he been out?

"I'm here, Sirius," Michelle replied, all but violently shoving Hermione aside as she now swam in front of his vision.

Sirius grinned up at her. "'Ello, love," he said.

She continued to glare at him. For what, he had absolutely no idea.

"Sirius, what on Earth were you thinking?" she snapped.

Sirius shrugged. "Depends. When was it? Was I drunk?"

She rolled her eyes and glared at a tiny snicker, which came from over her shoulder.

"Sirius, I told you. Stop putting yourself in such dangerous situations! Next time, if you've got the chance for escape, take it."

"What wonderful advice; and leave everyone else behind. Oh, how chivalrous."

Michelle turned to look daggers at Hermione, who was lounging boredly against the wall, examining her cuticles.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Michelle hissed. "All I'm doing is trying to keep my Sirius safe."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Please. Wasn't it you who not ten minutes ago tried fix his spine with a spell for fixing leaky pipes? If I weren't here, he'd be dead."

Sirius swallowed, feeling incredibly awkward. "Now, now, ladies, let's not fight..."

Hermione leaned back against the wall, looking back down at her fingers. "All I'm saying is that she's as incompetent as Ron."

Sirius rose his eyebrows.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "I didn't mean to-ugh, never mind."

Michelle smirked at her. "Teenage love problems?"

Hermione made a face at her.

"Well, thank you for fixing me, Miss Granger," Sirius said. "Now, would anyone mind explaining to me what happened?"

"You were blasted into a chain-link fence last-night," Hermione replied. "Remus took you back here and I just now finished healing you."

"Much obliged," Sirius replied, nodding.

Michelle, not wanting to be outdone, placed her hands on either side of Sirius' face. "I was so worried!"

Hermione glared. Yeah, right. She had been the one to do most of the worrying. The only thing Michelle did was whine and complain about how if Sirius died, she would lose the only love she'd ever had or some other crap like that. In Hermione's opinion, she figured by "only love," Michelle had obviously meant Sirius' money. Remus had told her the story of Michelle's past. She'd been pretty poor, and the first guy with money to love her was only her first love because of the fact that he had something neither she nor the other scum she'd dated had-millions and millions of galleons.

"Come on, Sirius, let's go to that party Joe was throwing..."

Hermione picked up on the conversation and jumped away from the wall, throwing her arm out as if she needed to physically stop them. "No! Sirius needs to stay in bed, or near it, for at least a week. He could paralyse himself if he were to move around too much."

Michelle glared again and straightened her back. "What do you know?"

Hermione sneered. "Far more than you, that's for sure. There is no magic that can instantly cure someone. And because this was so severe, the magic is going to take some time to settle. Like I said, at least a week. Sirius. Have you noticed your legs don't move?"

He shifted, but his legs remained in the same position.

"Well then," Sirius said, staring down at his legs, alarmed. "I guess that's it. No party for me."

Michelle turned her glare to him. Hermione couldn't pin-point Sirius' type for whom he chose to date-slutty moron or evil [female dog]. From what she could see, it was both.

Therefore, she quickly suppressed her rapidly reforming crush on the much-older man.

"Well, I'm going," Michelle drawled, as if Sirius had voluntarily chosen not to go. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Goodbye, then," she said, leaning down to give Sirius a less-than-appropriate kiss before leaving.

Sirius sighed. He wanted so badly to go after her, to celebrate his successful mission. Well, successful not counting his current predicament. But he knew that if the consequences of moving and enjoying now would mean that there would be no moving or enjoyment in the future. So he stayed put and watched Michelle strut out of the room, her expensive bag thrown over her shoulder and her expensive shoes clacking and her expensive hair extensions bobbing up and down her back.

"Alright, Sirius, time for your potion."

Sirius glanced over at Hermione, who had her back turned to him and was stirring something as she leaned over his dresser.

"Potion?" Sirius said nervously. He hated any potion. You never know what it might do.

"Right," Hermione replied, turning around with a goblet full of something that was emitting an unsettling fog. "You need to drink all of it."

"What's it for?" Sirius asked, trying to prop himself up against the back of the headboard without moving his legs.

She rolled her eyes. "Your stupidity. Now drink it."

Sirius grimaced. "Harsh." But he drank it all. "Why am I sensing a little bit of hostility in your voice?"

"I just had to spend seventeen straight hours with your slutty girlfriend," Hermione said stiffly, turning so she could return to making the several potions Sirius would need. She had been the only one with a brain who knew that sending a wanted man to St. Mungo's wouldn't end very well. No matter how much she wished she didn't have to be the one to take care of him. "I think I have the right to be more than a little irritated at the moment."

Sirius' cheerful attitude dropped. "Don't talk about Michelle that way, Granger."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Sorry if I offended you, but I'm not the only one who thinks this way. I just don't understand how you find anything appealing about her."

"She's-!" Sirius stopped. "Well, she's-!" He groaned.

"Horrible?" Hermione helped. "Disgusting? A slut? Take your time in choosing, I know there're a lot of words to describe her."

Sirius glared harshly as Hermione left with the tray of medicine and potion ingredients, but he couldn't help feeling as though he were going to be in big trouble with this one.

...

So, here it is! Chapter 6! Stay tuned for chapter 7, then. ^^