They spent the next three hours playing the most stimulating games of chess Jim had ever had. They hadn't even noticed how much time had passed. Plus, it seemed like Spock was enjoying himself as well. After four games, they began to converse easily about themselves. When Spock mentioned his childhood tormentors and, in a quiet voice, how his mother used to comfort him, Jim made a quick decision.
"You know Spock, I have something I've been wanting to tell you."
He could tell Spock was intrigued, "Yes Jim?"
Taking a deep breath in order to steady himself, Jim stared straight into Spock's eyes and put all of his sincerity into his next words, "I'm sorry."
The ice that had been present during the entire evening in Spock's eyes melted almost instantly, but he would not give in to an emotional response, "Jim, apologies are illogical-"
"Dammit Spock, I know they are, but I need to do this." Jim moved his chair so he was directly in front of Spock and held his gaze.
"I'm sorry I said those awful things about your mother on the bridge. I had to figure out a way to stop that bastard Nero, and you were so goddamn stubborn that it was all I could think of." His laugh was empty, bitter.
"You know, pushing people's buttons is the only way I know how to get a reaction from someone. I'm an asshole by nature." He scoffed and shook his head as if scolding a child. "The only other way I know is by charming my way into the bed of some nameless bystander." Spock flinched at that, but otherwise made no other movement. Jim kept going, " When I saw Uhura follow you into the turbolift...shit, I couldn't stop the blind jealousy and guilt that racked my fucking mind. If the situation had been different, I would have followed you and nearly begged for forgiveness." He again laughed that hollow laugh that Spock was beginning to hate.
"I guess that's what I'm doing now, isn't it? Begging. I just want us to be-" A pause. No, a hesitation, "friends."
Jim just couldn't say T'hy'la, he had already given up hope on that. With pleading eyes and bated breath, he waited.
For a while, Spock said nothing, just stared at a spot on the wall just above Jim's shoulder. Then, he stood up, gave a polite, "Goodnight Captain."
And left.