If Casey was pressed to choose the thing he'd learnt most working as a firefighter, it would probably be appreciating the little things. A small group of preschoolers cheering for them might not have meant a lot to any other person and it certainly wasn't the home cooked turkey dinner with their families that each member of house 51 had been hoping for this year, but it was enough to bring smiles to each of their faces.
Though those were quickly wiped off when they had to go back in, in search of the janitor who they found in the basement in the middle of a meth lab.
Herrmann's disappointed words summed up the feelings of just about the entire house. "Really, Leonard, with the kids up there?"
Severide turned off all the burning flames while the truck guys lugged the unconscious man out of there before following them out.
The pain in his neck hadn't been too bad during the shift, not having acted up on any of the morning calls, and briefly, naively, Severide had thought that that had meant that despite what the doctor had said, his neck might be getting better. He was brought back to harsh reality at the end of the call when he tried putting his gear away, intense pain shooting throughout his right side as soon as he tried to lift the halligan, something he'd never had trouble with before.
A strangled yell left him despite his attempts to stifle it and he had to hastily set the tool down again lest he drop it with undoubtedly loud consequences. He dug the blister packets from the leg pocket of his turnout pants popping one of the strong pills without letting himself think about it. The relief wasn't instantaneous but Severide knew it would be coming soon and Severide pulled his helmet from his head and leant his sweaty forehead to the cool metal of the truck interior.
"Can I get everyone to gather up."
Severide shifted the halligan to his other hand and hefted it onto the shelf with a grunt and shuffled outside, waiting impatiently for the pills to kick in.
"Ok I've talked to the higher ups and everyone on scene will be having a baseline drug test. Today."
Severide's heart simultaneously dropped to his stomach and leapt to his throat the sensation and the words making him want to throw up.
"Happy Thanksgiving," he heard Otis snark distantly but was too preoccupied trying to keep his composure, making sure his face showed only appropriate irritation at the inconvenience and not the absolute turmoil of fear and desperation that was writhing inside him.
"Hey, Chief, Dawson and I didn't go down there," Severide heard Shay protest and turned to listen, anything to distract him.
"I don't care," Boden said, not unkindly. "Anybody on the premises. We have to know how much any of you have in your system."
Shay nodded reluctantly and joined Dawson at the gurney wheeling their patient away and toward the ambulance. Severide waited for Boden to wander away and for Dawson to climb into the back of the rig and shut the doors behind her to catch up with Shay.
"Hey," he said after a surreptitious glance around him.
"Hey," Shay said slowly, already weary.
"I may have taken something this morning," he confessed, feeling a hysterical smile tug at his lips. Even as the pain in his shoulder receded, the churning feelings in his stomach intensified.
Shay narrowed her eyes. "Toradol?"
Severide hummed faux thoughtfully, stalling. "Stronger," he said finally when Shay moved to push past him.
"What?"
Severide glanced around again and dug the blister packet of pills from his pocket already knowing what she was going to say. As expected Shay took one look at the writing on the foil and scoffed.
"Michael Jackson couldn't have handled those. Where'd you get them?"
But Severide wasn't selling Anna out that easily.
"Will it show up on the test?" he asked instead.
"Will these narcotics show up on a drug test?" she asked sarcastically. Severide expected her to walk away at that but she surprised him by staring defiantly up at him not moving an inch. He could only hold her gaze for a few moments before he had to step back and look away, the crushing sense of hopelessness rushing over him. Even as he closed his eyes for a moment he could still see the hard edge in Shay's eyes devoid of all warmth and now not only was he afraid of the drug test but also of the very real chance of losing his best friend. He turned back to say something, anything but she was already gone, slamming the door of the ambulance behind her and peeling away from the sidewalk.
Severide ducked his head in momentarily shame before schooling his features, squaring his shoulders and heading back to his truck and waiting crew, unaware of the eyes drilling holes in his back.
Now that Voight had finally been put away and he and Hallie were safe, Casey could finally focus on something that had been bothering him since before the drama all started. Something was wrong with Severide, he knew that, had known that for weeks now but every time he'd tried to focus on it, get Severide alone to talk, Voight had done something else to drive it from his mind. That wouldn't be happening this time.
Casey's eyes were on Severide's retreating back when he jumped from the truck and onto the apparatus floor back at 51, which was why he didn't see Hallie until her hand was closing around his wrist and she was pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"Hey baby. Thought we could hang out for an hour or so before the parade." The suggestiveness in her voice and smile told Casey all he needed to know about what they'd be doing for that hour and he felt instantly torn.
He glanced back to Severide to find the man seated at the Squad table being dealt into a new hand of cards. Hallie's eyes were narrowed at him when he turned back and he smiled apologetically.
"Why don't you go wait in my quarters. I just need to talk to Severide about something real quick. I'll only be a few minutes," he added when she didn't say a word and her expression showed no signs of lightening.
"What's so important that it can't wait an hour," she said. Casey could tell that she was trying to keep her tone light but the tightness in her voice ruined any attempt.
"It's uh- hard to explain."
Hallie spun away without another word and Casey fought the urge to curse. Things between them should have been better than ever, now that Voight was locked away and they could get on with the rest of their lives. But things had been oddly strained over the last few weeks, odd fights that seemed to crop up over nothing, Hallie snapping at him out of the blue, muttered comments as she turned away. Casey had put it all down to the lingering stress of the arrest but he knew that eventually they'd have to talk about it. Especially after this. But first: Severide.
Casey approached the table just in time to see that Severide had folded from the game, catching a glimpse of the rubbish hand before it was tossed down.
"Hey," he said leaning on the back of Severide's chair and sending it tilting back.
"Hey," Severide responded twisting in his chair to meet his eye.
"Got a sec? I need to talk to you about something."
Severide spun around completely in chair - forcing Casey to straighten - so he could face the other man completely. His brow was furrowed in concern and when he spoke his tone was deliberately light.
"Sounds serious."
Casey looked over his shoulder, relieved to see the squad crew was still thoroughly engrossed in their game.
"Uh, yeah, kind of is."
He could feel Severide's eyes scanning his face, trying to read the situation but didn't betray anything. This wasn't something that needed to be discussed in front of everyone.
Severide stood with a nod. "Sure, let's do it."
Casey jerked his head to indicate inside, planning on this going down in Severide's own quarters but they only got a step towards the doors when the bells when off stopping both of them in their tracks.
"Squad 3, Assistance required at 134 Franklin street."
Severide looked at him apologetically while his crew burst into action around them.
"Raincheck?" he asked and what could Casey say? It wasn't like he could say no.
"Go," he said. "This can wait."
He got a brief smile in return and stepped back, out of the way of the rushing firefighter's watching them pile into the truck and take off with little more than a burst of sirens and screech of rubber on tarmac, leaving him to deal with the undoubtedly angry fiancee waiting for him.
As he'd expected, Casey found Hallie pacing the tiny room with her arms folded irritably across her chest. She shut the door after him and he noticed with a grimace that she'd let down the blinds to block out the rest of the house. He was definitely in trouble.
"So is this how it's going to be?" she hissed, practically spitting in her rage.
Casey had been considering taking a seat at his desk but he quickly got the feeling this was a conversation he'd rather be standing for.
"How what's going to be," he ventured carefully.
"Oh don't play dumb with me, Matt," she snapped. "Severide; now that you two are all buddy buddy again, I'm just going to be pushed out again."
"What are you talking about-" he tried.
"Don't give me that," she said. "Taking his opinion over mine? Keeping secrets?"
"When I have taken Severide's opinion over yours in this relationship?" Casey hissed back, mindful of the firefighters on the other side of the door.
"The Voight deposition."
"Oh, you mean how you went behind my back to my best friend to manipulate me into doing what you wanted. And if I had done what you wanted Voight still would be out there and not locked up like he is."
"Yeah and we could have ended up dead in the process."
Casey rolled his eyes, mostly just because he knew it would annoy Hallie even more. "You really don't have much faith in me, do you. I had a place lined up. I would have kept us safe."
"Where?" Hallie asked flatly.
"What?"
"What place did you have 'lined up'?"
"Severide's," Casey admitted with a shrug.
Hallie scoffed and looked away, muttering under her breath an exasperated "Of course."
"What was that?" Casey demanded, ducking slightly so he could catch her eye.
Hallie looked up at him slowly. "You really don't see it, do you?" she asked in disbelief.
Casey crossed his arms defensively, hackles rising at the implication that he was missing. "Severide offered," he said gruffly. "He just wanted to see us safe."
Hallie scoffed again, though less harshly this time and somehow that was worst because to Casey it felt like she pitied him now. "Trust me the last thing Kelly Severide wants is to keep me safe."
Before Casey can call her out on that and demand to know why on earth Severide would want her hurt - they may not get along but his best friend certainly didn't want his fiancee dead - she changed the subject.
"Don't think I've forgotten that you're keeping secrets from me."
Casey's hang flung into the air angrily. "There's no secret," he exploded, unable to care now who heard him. "I just needed to talk to Severide about something."
"Must have been pretty important to blow me off," she noted coolly, the calm one now.
"What for five minutes?" Casey scoffed.
Hallie glared at him. "Please we both know you two would have talk for an hour if he hadn't been called away. And it's not the first time."
Casey wanted to scoff again but he was growing tired of the circular argument and knew that it would only incite Hallie's rage further. Since their reconciliation he had been hanging out with Severide more and sometimes those times occurred when Hallie was off shift but he had never cancelled plans with her to hang out with Severide. Still he didn't point that out because if they started fighting about that they'd never get this resolved.
"Regardless, I'm not keeping secrets from you. It was just something I've wanted to check with Severide for a while and that was the only chance I'd gotten. I could be completely wrong and it could be nothing."
"So tell me what it is," Hallie said, without missing a beat.
"What?"
She shrugged. "If it's so small, you can tell me what it is."
But Casey didn't even have to consider that option. There was no way he was going to give away one of Severide's secrets.
He shook his head. "If it is something, then it's not my secret to tell."
Hallie's cool demeanour slipped away again and molten anger peeked out, sending Casey's head spinning as he tried to keep up with her moods.
"We're going to be married Matt. That means no secrets."
"I won't do it, Hallie," he said resolutely, turning to busy himself meaninglessly with the clutter on his desk.
But Hallie wouldn't let up. "So I guess you really don't love me, if you can't even tell me this."
"He's the most important person to me!" Casey yelled, losing control for the first time since they'd started fighting.
Everything grew silent after his outburst and Casey froze in horror as he realised what he'd said. He dared a peek at Hallie, the last thing he wanted to do and found that all the anger and annoyance had slipped from her face, leaving only a hurt look that was physically painful for him to look at. Then she blinked and her features smoothed over into a blank mask.
"That's not what I meant-," he backtracked. "I mean other than you of course- I love you, Hallie, I do. It just- I mean- He's my best friend. And he's always been there for me."
"No, of course," she said hollowly. "I understand what you meant. It's alright."
But it wasn't because she couldn't even look at him and he had no idea what to say to make this better.
Casey didn't know if the knock at the door was a blessing or just another unfortunate part of this day.
"Uh, Lieutenant," came Mills voice. "You got some visitors."
Casey's eyes slipped closed in tired resignation. It was clear from the kid's voice that he'd probably heard a good part of what had just been said and while he might love his house unconditionally he could admit that it was full of gossips which meant his relationship trouble would be known by every person within it by the time they all sat down to a turkey dinner that night.
"Thanks, Mills," he said finally and waited until he heard the kid walk away before he even looked at Hallie. When he did he found she was already watching him, eyes and face still unreadable.
"They're early," she offered after a long moment, referring to her sister Vivian and her two kids Hallie was accompanying to the Thanksgiving parade.
Casey exhaled slowly what might have been an agreement.
"I should probably go."
Casey nodded dazedly, his shouted words still ringing relentlessly in his ears. He pressed a kiss to her cheek as she passed but he guessed she only allowed it because she was still in shock over the fight.
"I'll see you later?" he asked, watching her leave.
But Hallie only nodded absently and left without a word, shutting the door quietly behind her. Once she was gone he finally allowed himself to sink into his desk chair, buried his face in his hands, releasing a shaky breath.
"Fuck," he said, utterly defeated.
He'd barely been sitting there, running over every word of the argument, for five minutes when his door opened again and he hurriedly sat upright again, looking every bit the perfect picture of composure.
Herrmann stood watching him from the open doorway, not looking nearly as fooled as Casey had hoped.
"Saw Hallie leave here in a rush, Lieutenant," he commented lightly. "Just wanted to make sure everything's ok."
It was only their long friendship that kept Casey from telling the man to mind his own business. As it was Casey regarded his former mentor for a moment before sighing wearily.
"Everything's fine, Herrmann." When the man look unconvinced Casey continued, "Really, we just had an argument. Hallie thinks…" but he found himself trailing off, not wanting to give voice to the issue because there really wasn't anything going on between him and Severide. Right? "Let's put it this way: Hallie has nothing to worry about."
But Herrmann merely hummed, thoughtfully and unconvinced. Thankfully he didn't offer anything more on the subject; Casey didn't know if he could survive another scrutiny of his friendship with Severide.
Instead Herrmann just said, "Buy you a cup of coffee, Lieutenant?"
Resisting the urge to point out that the coffee was free here, Casey nodded gratefully and followed him from the room.
Turns out Casey had been spot on about Mills because the minute he stepped inside the noisy rec room everyone grew quiet before Mouch started talking loudly about the Thanksgiving Parade, giving it shit like he did every year. Out of the corner of his eye he caught Herrmann's glare and the way Mills looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Casey didn't let it bother him while Herrmann went about making up a fresh pot of coffee leaving his lieutenant to listen to Cruz try to convince Mouch that parade detail wasn't all that bad.
"Peter Mills," Mouch called, just to prove Cruz wrong. "Hold up your arm."
After a moment's hesitation Mills did so, abandoning the lunch he was preparing.
"Now keep it there for five hours," Mouch continued. "That's what being in the parade is."
The room snickered a little and Mills shook his head with a small smile and got back to the food in front of him. But Cruz wasn't convinced.
"Mills," he said, twisting in his seat to look at the candidate. "The shriners - they throw out candy - clean up, man," he finished, envy colouring his words.
Herrmann handed Casey his coffee which he took with a murmured thanks and the pair took a seat at the table just as Otis wandered in, arms full of some kind of camera gear.
"Now listen," Otis started earning the room's attention. "I know you guys are gonna give me crap for this."
"Go on," Herrmann said slowly, apprehensively.
Otis took a deep breath as though he was bracing himself for a hit and said, "I want to start a podcast."
A beat of silence. Then.
"What the hell is that?"
Casey chuckled at the confusion on Herrmann's face while Otis heaved another weary sigh.
"Well, I record myself being equal parts charming and brilliant," he explained patiently. "Then I put it up on iTunes. And people subscribe, and they follow me."
"A mute would be better at that than you," Herrmann put in and the room erupted into laughter.
Otis took it good naturedly though and continued unperturbed. "It's going to be a "Day in the Life of a Chicago Firefighter" sort of thing.
"We have a slow day, and you're just gonna reinforce the stereotype that all we do is sit around and eat."
Mouch didn't seem to notice the irony of his statement especially as he crammed another morsel of cake into his mouth but Otis seemed to be struggling not to comment. Eventually though he got himself under control and turned to Casey.
"You got a problem with it, Lieutenant?"
Casey considered it. He doubted Otis could do any real damage with the podcast and it might just bring them a little good press for once.
"Go for it."
The squad company came filtering through, having just returned from their call, lead by Severide and followed by Boden. On his way past Severide made a swipe for Casey's coffee but the blonde evaded his clutches and nudged the other man towards the still steaming pot with his foot. The easy smile on Severide's face slipped away at Boden's announcement however.
"Drug tester's on his way. And again, this is mandatory."
Casey noting the change in Severide's demeanour rolled over, looking up at him carefully.
"Everything ok?"
"Yeah, fine." The smile Severide gave him was forced and the words a lie and Casey almost called him out on it. But he was more interested in getting to that conversation they hadn't gotten to have that morning than a white lie Severide had told him. He opened his mouth to suggest they go to Severide's office when the other man smiled at him apologetically. "Gotta go make a call. See you later?"
"Sure," Casey murmured but Severide was already gone.
The ring of the bells and the call for them at a gunshot scene kept Casey from pondering on Severide too hard. The Truck company jogged outside with the Ambo girls right on their heels, leaving Squad 3 in the warm comforts of the station.
The scene was deserted but for a lone kid sprawled out on the curb, or so it seemed. The second they left the safety of their truck, shots rang out, amplified as they struck the side of the fire engine. The firefighter's dropped to the ground without a thought, some scrambling back inside, while others wriggled underneath, and the rest ducked around to the other side.
Hidden under the engine, Casey checked to make sure Otis beside him was alright before focussing in on the scene. Over the radio he could hear Dawson shout desperately for backup.
"This is ambulance 61, I need a 10-1 at Elmwood Park. They're still shooting here!"
"Copy that," came the cool reply from dispatch.
Another well aimed shot took out one of the truck windows showering Otis and Casey in broken glass as they desperately turned their unprotected faces away.
"Where the hell's the CPD?" Otis yelled, fear motivating his anger.
The victim on the ground groaned painfully and called out for help. "Help me, I'm bleeding."
Casey heard Cruz yell something to the shooters in rapid fire Spanish but either they couldn't hear him or didn't care for what he'd said because they fired off another few rounds. Casey glanced around, forming a quick plan in his head before whistling softly to get Dawson's attention where she was crouched behind the ambulance with Shay.
"Truck," he mouthed when she looked over. "Ambulance, barrier, move."
She squinted at him, obviously confused and he fought the urge to curse and groan knowing it wouldn't be helpful and merely repeated his message, accompanied this time with hand motions. Finally after what seemed like a decade Dawson's eyes cleared and she nodded her understanding, leaving Casey to hope she'd understood correctly.
He and Otis shuffled out the other side where the rest of the company were waiting for instructions.
"Cruz," he called. "Can you drive the truck forward so we can use it as a barrier and stay out of the line of fire?"
Cruz glanced at the window the shooters were standing at and thought for a moment. "I should be all right."
"Ok. Be careful."
He jumped up into the cab of the truck, making sure to keep as far left as he could and slowly began to drive forward, slowly enough that the firefighter's still on the ground could keep up. Shay drove the ambulance closer to the victim and parked it in the safe shadow of the truck which was taking more and more gunshots as the shooters tried to take them out, to no avail.
While Dawson, Shay, Mouch and Mills tended to the bloodied victim another kid came slithering out of the nearby shrubbery, where he'd been apparently hiding from the gunfight.
"Yo," he said cool as anything and watching them tend to the other victim. "Yo, there's another kid over there by that tree."
While Dawson strained to see the supposed kid Shay and the firefighter's lifted the first victim, loading him up onto the ambulance.
"You got this, Shay?"
"Yeah," the blonde said, still focussed on her patient.
Herrmann moved away to meet the oncoming sirens of police and Casey nodded at Otis and Cruz to go with Dawson. Casey helped Shay load the patient, watching as bandage after bandage was soaked through with crimson, blood, waiting for Dawson to return.
She did only a minute later, slightly breathless from running and clambered into the back while Shay took the wheel.
"The other victim?" he had to know.
"Arm wound. He'll be fine. I've already called for another ambulance," she panted.
Casey nodded and slammed the doors shut, Shay taking off immediately with a screech of rubber on tarmac, leaving him and his truck company to wait for the other ambulance. But only a few moments later and Cruz appeared holding who Casey presumed was the other victim in his arms, with a confused Otis trailing behind.
"Help in him," Cruz spat, ignoring the rest of the company's questions and Mouch and Herrmann helped pull him into the back.
"Cruz," Casey snapped, needing to know what was going on.
"He's my brother," the firefighter said short and simple and Casey nodded his understanding thinking of his own sister. Cruz climbed into the back with his brother and Casey found himself in the driver's seat, a place he hadn't been for years.
The ride to Lakeshore was quick and tense, ending with Cruz leaping out of the truck to follow his brother while the rest of the company trailed behind a little slower. But his brother, Leon, had ended up fine as they heard from the doctor. Casey had offered Cruz the rest of the shift off but the man had declined after barely a moment's thought and Casey didn't push; he got the feeling that relationship was a complicated one.
The moment the call connected Severide got right to the point, "Is there anyway to mask the use of those pills you gave me."
Anna on the other end of the line was appropriately. "Kelly? Is that you? What are you talking about?"
"There was an incident on scene this morning and there's a mandatory drug test," he explained impatiently. "Is there some masking agent I could take?"
"To throw off a drug test? Today? Come on." Anna's voice was pure exasperation but Severide could hear the hint of fear as well, because he was breaking the law taking the pills but she'd also broken the law giving them to him.
"Look, I'm looking for a way- any way out here. What- what about poppy seed muffins or something like that?" he asked scrambling for anything he'd heard masked drug use. "I heard that-"
"Do you have 70 of them? Because that's what it would take," she snapped.
Severide buried his face in his free hand, feeling his pulse thudding against his fingertips.
"Look, I warned you," her voice was unapologetic now and Severide wanted to hate her for it, for being the one who would get out of this but he couldn't. This was all on him. "Please leave my name out of this." The beep signalled the end of the call and resounded in his ear for a long moment before he finally pulled the phone away from his ear and tossed it down on the desk.
If Severide was a petty man he might have entertained the idea of giving them Anna's name just because but as it was he didn't even consider it. Because at the end of the day this was on him and Anna had only given him those pills as a favour; he wasn't about to throw her under the bus for that. So he would just have to man up and take what was coming.
The drug tester, Jenkins found him not too much later and as it turned out, Severide was better at lying to himself than he'd thought because he thought he was ready for this. But all it took was one look at that innocuous cup and all he could see was what his life would become if he went through with it. No job. No benefits. He'd thought the life his father was leading - living off benefits, fishing all day, doing the odd job when money was tight - was hell, but looking at what his life might become, Severide found himself wishing for it. He'd told himself he was ready but now that it was time to face it all he could think of was ways to get out of it.
By the time dinner was rolling around Casey still hadn't heard from Hallie and he was starting to get worried. She'd promised to stop by for a bite to eat before meeting her parents for dinner.
Casey: Hey, you still coming by for dinner?
The rec room was a flurry of activity around him; Herrmann and the kid Boden had invited around, Ernie were setting the table, Mills had a very eager audience watching him put the finishing touches on dinner, members of the Squad were messing around with the radio looking for thanksgiving music to play during dinner and Severide was explaining apologetically to Jenkins how he misplaced his tester cup. Casey was too distracted by the ping of Hallie's responding text to wonder what Severide could have possibly been doing to lose the cup.
Hallie: I'm going to go straight to the club with my parents.
The way she didn't offer up an excuse or add in an apology for basically blowing him off told Casey all he needed to know about how things were going to go down next time they saw each other.
The appearance of the turkey at the head of the table stopped Casey from brooding too deeply about the state of his relationship. Mills came to the table laden down with bowls and platters of delicious smelling food.
"Okay, we've got cranberries, gravy, that stuffing is the sh-" Mills broke off when he caught sight of Ernie halfway down the table. "Uh that- that stuffing is really good," he amended.
"This is the best looking bird we've had in years," Boden said picking up the carving knives as the house took their seats all down the table.
Otis tapped his knife and fork together to get everyone's attention. "Ok, what are we going to name it?"
A mixture of weary groans and laughter echoed down the table and Elise, Mills' sister who had stopped by to help get dinner ready frowned in confusion.
"Name it?" she asked, setting the last bowl down on the table.
"Yep. Always name the bird before you eat it. Usually after an old girlfriend or boyfriend or something," Boden explained and Elise laughed.
"Interesting," she giggled and the rest of the table laughed again.
Only Cruz didn't seem amused by their strange tradition. He was glaring at the table and only spoke when he suggested they name the bird, "Leon."
The laughter died down and Otis looked to his friend in concern. "You want to name the bird after your own brother?"
"After today?"
"Leon it is," Otis announced with a shrug.
Boden had just settled the tip of the knife to the flesh of the bird, preparing to carve when the blare of alarms sounded and a simultaneous groan travelled around the room.
"Squad 3, Truck 81, Engine 51, Ambulance 61."
Chairs were pushed back all up and down the table and Elise wielded a roll of cling wrap to save the feast while they were gone. Severide dug the cup from his pocket and tossed it to Jenkins as he passed.
"I'll hit it when I get back," he promised and hurried off before the other man could reply.
The trucks of House 51 pulled up to the sight of a run of the mill garage fire, light smoke drifting out onto the road, enveloping the three arguing people out the front.
"Turkey fire, guaranteed," Herrmann muttered as they left the truck. No one bothered contradicting him because of course he was right.
"What happened?" Casey asked as they approached.
"Uncle Brad is what happened," the woman drawled contemptuously, glaring at the older man out of the pair with her.
"I know how to deep-fry a goddamned turkey, Sharon," he argued back. "You put in too much grease."
"You can't fry a beer can turkey," she countered.
Casey growing tired of their arguing broke in, "Is everyone out of the house?"
"Duh," the woman said with an eye roll.
"Why aren't you putting out the fucking fire," the second man wanted to know.
"Engine will be here any moment," was all Casey said in response. "Cruz tell Squad they can head back."
"Allright, is anybody hurt? Is anybody burned?" Shay asked.
The three shook their heads and Dawson clapped her hands together. "Ok. 'Cause we're going to go back and eat."
Otis watched the pair go sadly. The entire company was annoyed they were stuck here with the still arguing trio when they could have been enjoying their dinner by now.
The sudden outbreak of a fight between the two men drew their attention however and the firefighters were quick to jump between them while Casey kept the woman from joining the fray. Mills had to wrestle the younger of the two to the ground before he would stop struggling and then what he said made Casey wish for the fight back.
"Oh God. My snowmobile."
The truck company snapped around to look in horror as the flames danced closer to the snowmobile in the corner as the newly arrived engine company approached to put it out. A slight shift in the breeze was enough to force contact between the fire and the snowmobile and it immediately went up taking half the garage with it.
Casey and his company burst into action heading around back to make a vent while the engine company worked at it from the front.
"Window," he said pointing and two firefighters, Otis and Herrmann immediately began tearing at the boards covering it while Casey went for the back door, breaking it down with a well aimed swing of his axe. With the back opened and the hoses set up out the front the blaze was doused easily enough and leaving engine 51 to do the minimal overhaul, 81 hurried back into their truck and pulled away quickly.
Unable to help himself Casey called a saccharine sweet "Happy Thanksgiving" out the open window to the still arguing trio.
They arrived back at the house to find an impatient Dawson and Shay waiting for them.
"What took you so long?" Shay wanted to know as Casey peeled off his jacket and stripped off his turnout pants.
"Turned into something a little bigger," he explained. Shay nodded distractedly and wiped at an errant line of soot across his cheek.
"And Severide?"
Casey frowned at her. "Severide? We sent them back before you."
Shay blinked. "Well he's not back yet."
Unease started to form in Casey's stomach but still he tried to shrug it off like it was nothing. "Probably just got held up in traffic. I'm sure they'll be here soon."
Shay nodded but Casey still saw something hard in her eyes that he made a note to ask about another time when it wasn't Thanksgiving Day. He looped an arm around her shoulders and guided her inside along with the rest of the house where Otis and Cruz were trying to convince Mills to microwave the turkey.
Severide knew it was stupid, and fruitless but on the way back from the call he couldn't but help but order Tony to fill up the tank adding a good half an hour to their trip.
"We've got three quarters of a tank," Tony said carefully, the closest he would ever come to disobeying his lieutenant.
"Let's do it anyway," Severide said trying to keep his voice light despite battling the steadily increasing terror building inside him. He toyed with the religious medallion around his neck, a nervous tick he'd never been able to shake and tried not to think about Jenkins waiting for him back at 51.
Severide didn't even manage to make inside the house before Jenkins found him, holding out a cup wordlessly and he knew he was finally out of options.
"Coming right up," he promised with a smile that felt forced and headed to the bathroom, heart sinking to his stomach. He was so caught up in his own torment that he didn't notice Shay following him from the room until she found him at the sinks, contemplating his reflection in the mirror.
She didn't say a word as she dropped the full container on the sink beside his hand and he didn't insult her by thanking her. He met her eye in the mirror though and hoped that he conveyed how grateful he was. Her eyes remained hard and she turned away without another word.
It was suddenly like he could breathe again when Severide left the bathroom, feeling lighter than he had all day. And he knew that he shouldn't feel this elated. He knew, he knew, that something was going to have to give and that it was quickly becoming a choice between this secret and his friendship with Shay. But that was tomorrow's problem and he couldn't help but be so fucking grateful that it wasn't all going to end tonight.
The dinner was just getting laid out for the second time that night, the turkey being slid from the oven when the bells went off again.
"Squad 3, Truck 81, Engine 51, Ambulance 61."
Severide could hear the groans from his fellow firefighters and could practically hear Jenkins annoyance. So he threw him a bone, almost literally. The cup of urine went sailing through the air and Jenkins caught it against his generous stomach looking half terrified that it would open and half disgusted.
"Sorry it took so long," Severide said with an almost savage grin. He wouldn't be sorry to see the back of the man.
Traffic was backed up for miles as they approached the scene which didn't bode well for the nature of the accident. Casey counted at least ten cars that were out of commission and that wasn't even close to the heart of the accident.
They headed straight for a woman standing beside her car, frantically calling for help for her husband. Dawson and Shay headed straight for her while Casey focussed on the cars crowded around it, knowing that getting a stretcher near would be difficult without moving them first. He and his company fanned out, intent on getting all the bystanders out of their cars before they moved anything.
The last car they had to clear had a couple in the front seat pinned tightly and the doors refused to budge. The husband looked unconscious but the woman was panting harshly, interspersed with pained grunts.
"I've got a pin in over here," Casey yelled and the rest of his company scrambled to get the gear. "Ma'am, you ok?"
But the woman didn't answer and after a long moment she managed a slight shake of her head.
"Ok, I need to cover your face."
Casey waited until she turned her head away and lifted an arm to cover her face and together he and Cruz began to saw at the cracked windshield. Through the spidery cracks spanning the glass Casey saw the man start to come round.
"Carol," he mumbled. Slowly he looked around. "Carol, are you ok?"
But the woman, Carol's, only response was a long yell of pain and Casey doubled his pace, testing the balance of speed and keeping the windshield in one piece.
"Oh my God," the man yelled.
Finally the windscreen came away and Casey passed it off to someone behind him so he could get closer to the couple.
"Sir, we're going to get her out. We'll get a paramedic over here as soon as we can." Casey had heard Boden ask dispatch for reinforcements but so far their house was alone out there.
"She's having a baby," the husband broke in, looking wide eyed between his wife and Casey. As it was Casey could only gape back for a few long moments before the man yelled "Do something!" jolting him back into action.
Casey stepped away from the car, taking a moment to breathe and reorientation himself before barking orders. "Ok, we need to move this car and get this door open," he called, pointing to the car wedged right up beside the couple's car.
While Casey stayed with the couple, he kept an eye on his company as they surrounded the car that needed moving and then on Cruz' count began to shift it sideways. They wouldn't be able to move it far like this, in such small increments but they got it far enough that Casey could get a halligan in and start tearing at the jammed doors. A minute later Casey had the door off and was hauling it out of the way. Cruz helped the man out while Casey helped the woman shift until she was sitting sideways in her seat, legs dangling out of the car.
He pulled his radio closer, "Dawson, Shay?"
For a moment all he could hear was Dawson talking to another victim and Shay barking orders at a tow truck driver but then, "Yeah, Casey."
"I need you guys up next to 81."
Shay's voice wasn't apologetic when she replied but Casey didn't take it personally. "We're stuck here, Casey. Arterial bleed. Mic's open."
"Uh, I got a woman about to give birth on the highway."
From the way Carol was grunting, Casey didn't think they had time to get her to 61, let alone wait for another ambulance to show up.
"Is the baby crowning?"
Casey ducked between the woman's legs shifting her skirt aside to look and squinted trying to see in the dark. A moment later a torch appeared over his shoulder and sure enough he could see the top of the baby's head for a few moments before it disappeared again. He related the news to Dawson and Shay.
"Oh God, he's coming!" the girl screamed. "I can feel him coming."
Distantly Casey felt a twinge of sympathy for the woman, out of the all the outcomes she'd imagined leading up to this day this was the one she'd probably never considered.
Dawson's voice came over the radio, "Ok, you're going to have to do this, Casey."
If there was time Casey might have been terrified at the prospect of helping a woman give birth. He had basic medical training sure and had picked up a few things after being a firefighter for almost 12 years but this was a whole new world.
"Otis," he barked and the man hurried forward to take the helmet Casey gave him, closely followed by his turnout jacket. He unwound the radio from his chest and flipped it to open and chucked it onto the dash where he could hear it.
"Ok, tell me what to do, Dawson."
"Tell me what you see."
He squinted between her legs and tried to describe what he was seeing best he could. "Uh, I can see the head. It keeps coming out and then going back in."
"Tell her to push."
He sat up a bit so he could see her face. "You gotta push, Carol."
"I am," she panted and screamed as another contraction tore through her.
"You can do it, Carol!" he encouraged grabbing her free hand, giving her another thing to squeeze as she pushed. Casey hated to say it but he knew they were getting nowhere like this. "Push harder."
"I am," she screeched again, digging her nail into his hand and beside him he heard her husband yelp as he received the same treatment but Casey barely felt the sting.
"Ok," he said and waited until she met his eye. "One big breath in and then a push. Ok? Let's do this."
She fought to catch her breath and then with a drawn out, wailing scream that tore across the night sky she pushed and Casey knew this was it. He yanked his hand away so he could guide the baby out and cradle it's impossibly small form against his chest. But as quickly as he'd known that final push was the one he knew now just as quickly that something was wrong.
Shay must have known to. "Casey?" she asked when he didn't speak for a moment.
"Shay, he's not crying. I don't think he's breathing."
Above him Carol had started to sob and her husband just seemed to be in shock because he didn't say a word. The hand that held the torch trembled slightly.
"It's an obstructed airway. You have to put your mouth over the baby's nose and mouth and breathe for it. It's just like CPR."
The baby felt even smaller under his mouth as he forcibly pushed breath into it's little body, begging it silently to just take a breath. To just breathe.
"Casey," he heard Dawson say.
But he couldn't focus on her. He couldn't even focus on Carol who was asking over and over if her baby was ok. All he could focus on was making sure he didn't lose this baby in the middle of the highway.
Finally he leant back, gasping for breath and waited, ready to dive back in when he heard it - possibly the most beautiful sound he heard in his life up until that point - the little cry the baby gave when it first drew breath. The sound built until the baby was full out wailing for it's mother, joined now by the quiet, relieved laughter of the firefighters around them and then the clapping, sounding like rain at first until it was thunderous as Casey handed the baby up to Carol.
He fell to the side after that as the other firefighters whooped their feelings out into the night air, joyous for the sight of birth when they were so used to death. Casey reached up, slightly startled to find his cheeks damp with tears. It was a long moment before he could look away, give Carol and husband a moment of privacy with their new baby boy and his eyes fell on Severide, breath stolen away for the second time that night by the pure, unguarded smile on the man's face, the smile Casey had always loved and he felt his heart burst all over again.
The men finally began to disperse, tending to the miscellaneous victims still wandering the scene and a new pair of paramedics arrived to take care of Carol but Casey only had eyes for Severide. He didn't know what this was between them; it didn't feel just like friendship, maybe they weren't capable of that anymore but if felt like something and that both scared the hell out of him and exhilarated him in equal parts.
The sun was just scraping the horizon when House 51 finally got their Thanksgiving dinner. Thanks to the wonders of Mills' talented hands the turkey was still amazing but the time they got to eat it and nothing had gone cold yet.
"Great shift men," Boden said surveying his house with a rare grin. "Proud of all of you. Leon," he said pointing to the bird now and gathered up the carving knives. "Your time has come."
The last shift must had had an effect on Cruz, Casey thought because he said, "Hey Chief. Maybe another name?"
"Sure."
"Call it 'Jenkins the piss guy'," Mouch piped up, still perturbed by the man.
"Jenkins, it is," Boden chuckled amidst the laughter of the rest of the House and finally, finally began to carve, serving up the thick slabs of meat quickly before anything else could go wrong. "You'll be pleased to know that all your tests came through negative on meth or any other drug."
Severide's smile fell slightly at the reminder but it was hard to be melancholy when the noises of his family were all overlaid the top of each other, asking each other to pass dishes down, complementing Mills on the excellent cooking, joking, and laughing. His shoulder could be tomorrow's problem, today all he had to focus on what was he did have and all that he was thankful for.
And the problems did catch up with Severide the next day because the second they stepped out of the house and got to his car Shay was on him.
"What were you gonna do?" she asked, staring at him over the top of his car.
"I don't know," he admitted. He knew it sounded stupid but in that moment he couldn't come up with a better answer.
Shay was silent for several long, charged moments. "I don't who this is, Kelly, but it isn't you," she said finally.
"Do you want a ride or not?" he asked just to change the subject. Just to get her off his back for a little while longer. Until they could get back to the apartment.
But Shay wasn't having it. "You know what?" she said and stepped back. "Happy Thanksgiving." She slammed the car door shut and stalked off down the street without a backwards glance.
He'd known this was coming but he'd still had no idea how to stop it and all he could think of was how he was losing another important person so he did the only thing he could think of: slam his fist into the side of his car, hard.
Casey arrived at Hallie's apartment still high on the adrenaline of the last call and he hurried inside, ready to put their stupid fight behind them and talk about this amazing thing he'd felt when he'd given that baby his breath. But all that drained away when he found Hallie at the dining room table, tears on her face and her engagement ring on the table in front of her.
"Hallie?"
Her head jerked up and it was clear she'd been waiting for him because she stood and faced him.
"I don't…" he trailed off at a loss for words. He'd known the fight that morning before hadn't been the best but he hadn't ever thought it would result in this.
"I really don't know what we are anymore," she said in this heartbroken voice that made Casey just want to hug her and apologise for doing this to her.
He dropped his bag onto an empty chair and took a step closer but jerked to a holt when she stepped away.
"If this is about-"
"It is," she said and sniffed wiping at her face with the heels of her eyes. "It is about him."
"Nothing's happened between me and Kelly," he said weakly and the unspoken yet hung in the air between them.
"And I believe you," she said with a watery smile. "But I also think you're lying to yourself if you think you don't still love him."
"I don't," he said, angry unexpectedly
"And that's the saddest thing of all," she said quietly and Casey hated the pity in her eyes. "Lakeshore's funding a trip to Africa to do some relief work. They asked me to go and I wasn't going to because of us. But now… well I think it'll be good for me. I just need some time to move on from you, get some new perspectives."
"If you need to move on then why are we doing this?" he asked, angrier still but Hallie ignored the question.
"I know it doesn't seem like it but I do love you Matt. And before you say it I know you love me too. But that doesn't mean we were meant to be. He'll always be that one person you can't live without." Casey wanted to protest but found the words sticking in his throat. Her smile was bittersweet as she approached him carefully to brush a final kiss across his cheek. "Don't wait too long," she whispered, warm breath ghosting across his skin. "You deserve to be happy with him, Matt." She stepped back and cleared her throat. "I'll give you some time to get your stuff."
And that should have been harsh, should have been the final kick in the balls but Casey could see how hard this was for her, could the emotion warring in her eyes and let her walk away without a fight.
It took a depressingly short time to locate all the accumulated items that had made their way to Hallie's apartment. Casey was sure he'd missed a few things, a CD here, a t-shirt there but he trusted Hallie to get them to him. He paused at the kitchen table on his way out, box of belongings in his hands and stared down at the engagement ring glinting against the wood, took the time to pick it up, deliberate whether to take it with him, wonder if that's what she wanted. But in the end he put it back down again because it didn't mean anything to him anymore.
He was sitting downstairs in his truck when his phone started to buzz and he had to wonder if the universe loved irony because it was Severide's name lighting up the screen.
"You want to buy me a drink," Casey said instead of a proper greeting.
Severide's voice was low and smooth over the phone. "I was just about to suggest that myself. Personally I wouldn't mind forgetting the last few hours. Why are you drinking Matt?"
Casey didn't answer the question and didn't ask Severide the same either.
"I guess I can afford to buy your lightweight ass a round or two. What's that old adage anyway, a round of drinks for the deliverer of a baby?"
Casey snorted, lightweight his ass. "Sounds right to me."
Severide chuckled. "Meet you there in ten?"
"See you in ten," Casey said quietly and dropped the phone to the passenger seat, feeling unexpectedly thoughtful. Today might have brought the end of him and Hallie but maybe there was another new beginning on the horizon after all.
A/N: Wow, it has actually been forever since I updated this, I'm sorry about that. But life has actually been kicking my ass lately and my trial HSC exams start in two days so of course instead of studying my ass off I decided to finish the ch of this I've been working on forever.
So update, just finished writing chapter seventeen and am posting chapter fourteen now. Am expecting maybe another six chapters after this one so 21 in total I'm thinking?
Anyway, I think that's about it. I hope you liked the update, and I haven't lost you all with my unexpected hiatus. As always will love to hear your thoughts.