Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox.
Thank you so much for your patience and your encouragement! I'm glad some of you (the reviewers!) seem to be enjoying this story. This chapter was difficult – I had to completely rewrite it so that Finn went from being a complete ass to his more in-character self, which changed practically everything in how the chapter went. But finally, here it is. Please enjoy!
The day after her Scandals escapade, Rachel Berry found herself walking into the Lima Bean. She searched around the store before…there he was. And he even had her coffee ready and waiting for her. He really was super sweet.
"Hi!" Rachel said brightly as she sat down at his table.
"Hey Rachel," Blaine said with a smile. He looked a little more worse for wear than she did…but then again, he had been drinking more than she had been last night. "Thanks for meeting me," he said. "I hope it wasn't too early for you."
She took a grateful sip of her coffee – it was just the right temperature. "No, I'm doing perfectly fine. I didn't end up drinking too much last night. Definitely not like the last time," she assured.
Blaine looked relieved. "Well good. I mean, good that you don't have a hangover or anything. And that nothing happened like last time," he grinned.
"Right," Rachel said, awkwardly grinning back. Does making out with a different gay (but yet not gay, apparently) guy count, even if she wasn't super drunk, count as similar to last time?
"Did you have fun last night?"
"Yes, of course!" Rachel immediately assured with another false smile. She wasn't sure if 'fun' was really the right word. Last night was…something she hadn't gotten around to tackling in her mind just yet. She had begun to write an outline of the events and her feelings on her easel when Blaine had texted her. Hopefully the point of this conversation was going to be about some Regionals inspiration that Blaine had, or something.
"Okay, good. Because I realize that Kurt and I kind of abandoned you and Sebastian for most of the night, and for that I wanted to apologize." Hopefully Blaine didn't notice her wince when he said Sebastian's name.
"Oh, no need to apologize. You two were having fun. He and I…" made out on the dance floor. "It was fun," she finished lamely. She had to keep her mind away from Sebast – him. It had taken her forever to fall asleep last night because the feeling of his body next to hers, his arms around her just would not go away. And only Barbara Streisand herself would ever get her to admit that she had wished that her pillow had smelled like him. He just smelt good, okay?
Blaine looked concerned. Shoot, she should've been smoother or something. "Rachel," he said softly and took one of her hands. "Did Sebastian say something last night? I know he can be blunt sometimes."
"No, no he didn't say anything." It was more of the actions and not the words – and it was really more her fault than his.
"Okay…" Blaine said, but didn't seem to believe her. "I mean, you seemed a bit…anxious…last night when we left. I want to make sure that you're okay. If we made you uncomfortable last night I'm really sorry. I know Kurt really wanted you there and I'm really glad you came with us but if you honestly didn't enjoy yourself then I can make sure that Kurt understands and he won't pressure you again –"
"Oh, Blaine, no! No, really. Last night was fine," Rachel reassured. Now she felt guilty that Blaine was feeling guilty because he thought she didn't enjoy herself when really the issue was that she enjoyed herself all too much. "I was just preoccupied when we left." Yeah, preoccupied with Sebastian who she had ran away from because she had cheated on her boyfriend with him. Preoccupied seemed pretty accurate.
"I know Kurt is your usual confident, but know that I'm here for you too. If you want to talk, I'll listen."
Oh, Blaine was just too sweet. Rachel felt horrible that she was hiding this huge major event from him when he was only being nice. But she couldn't tell Blaine - that would be cruel to make him carry her secret around. How could she expect him to keep it from Kurt? And if she told Kurt, how could she expect him to keep it from his step-brother? But…oh God…what if Sebastian was going to tell Blaine?
Her thoughts were interrupted by her phone buzzing. She was so relieved that she had a legitimate reason to look away from Blaine's soul-searching gaze and derail her train of thought. She had a text message from an unknown number. She opened it – So last night? Super hot
Oh God. She could just hear Sebastian's smirky, confident tone all over that message.
"Did – did you give Sebastian," there, she finally said his name and didn't even stutter, "my number?"
"Uh…yeah. He asked for it last night after we left. I guess I didn't really think much about it and just gave it to him. I'm sorry; did you not want him to have it?" Blaine asked, sounding very apologetic.
"No, no, it's fine. I was just confused. It was an unknown number asking me about last night."
Something on her face must have given her away, though, because Blaine continued to press her. "Rachel, be honest. Is Sebastian being…inappropriate?" He was so stern, at any other time it would've been laughable. But Sebastian's words weren't inappropriate, just the images and emotions that they recalled. Rachel bit her lip and avoided eye contact.
"Show me the message," Blaine ordered. This was why Blaine was so sweet – Kurt would've just grabbed her phone. Blaine asked for it.
She couldn't show him, though. Then Blaine would ask what Sebastian found so hot about last night. Could she lie and pass it off as the duet? But no, Blaine probably didn't know about Sebastian's lack of discrimination towards sexual preference, so his message might clue him in to his target switching from Blaine to Rachel. That would bring up a slew of uncomfortable questions that Rachel really didn't want asked or be forced to answer…
The decision was taken out of her hands, literally, when Blaine snatched her phone. Kurt must be wearing off on him. "Blaine!"
"Super hot?" Blaine repeated in a confused tone, reading the text. "Is that like his go-to phrase, or something? And what about last night was 'super hot?'"
"Our duet?" Rachel offered weakly.
"Okay, the duet was just insane. And a bit…yeah. But Sebastian doesn't play for your team so why would he find that super hot?" Blaine thought out loud. He stared quizzically at Rachel and she didn't know if he was expecting an answer or not. She fidgeted. She took a sip of coffee. She tapped her fingers on the table. Blaine just wouldn't stop looking at her like she held all the answers – which she really did; she knew exactly what that message meant. But could Blaine try to figure it out while staring at someone else?
Suddenly she just couldn't keep the words in anymore. "We kissed," she whispered before slapping a hand over her mouth.
Blaine was jolted from his thoughts. "Wait – what?" He gaped at her. Clearly that wasn't what he was thinking at all.
"Sebastian and I. We kissed…when we were dancing…right before we left," Rachel confessed, her voice practically pleading for him to understand.
Blaine continued to gape. "Wha-but-Sebastian…he-he's gay…he-me…I…Finn," he babbled.
"I know!" Rachel said, nearly in tears. "but he's not actually gay – Sebastian, not Finn – he's more bisexual – doesn't want to discriminate – or so he said after our stupid duet. And then you and Kurt left and we – Sebastian and I – played this game and I didn't want to lose but he wouldn't stop so I had to because I just couldn't. So he won and claimed a dance as his prize. I didn't want to – I knew it was a bad idea – but then he said he's go after you so of course then I had to dance with him. So we danced and this song came on and he sung – and he really is good, you know – and then I turned around and – we kissed," Rachel rambled at a very fast pace.
Blaine sat stunned, absorbing all the information she had just flung at him – and probably trying to make sense of it. "Whoa," he finally said, shaking his head.
"I just cost us Regionals," Rachel gasped. She felt like she was going to start hyperventilating.
"Whoa, Rachel," Blaine said, immediately sitting up straight at that. "Relax. Breathe. You're fine, New Directions is fine, Regionals is fine, everything is fine," he assured her.
"Everything is not fine, Blaine Anderson! Sebastian is going to wait until right before Regionals to tell Finn that I cheated and then Finn won't be able to focus and he'll blow the whole performance!"
"Rachel, calm down. We can fix this," Blaine said, grabbing her arms before she hit any passing customers.
"We can?"
"Yes, we can," Blaine said slowly but calmly. A small part of Rachel wondered whether he regretted this entire conversation yet. But the fact that Blaine had said we could fix it instead of simply she could fix it? Heart-warming. And it helped keep the hysteria at bay.
"But…but the last time I cheated on Finn – " and the hysteria was back.
"Rachel!" Blaine interrupted quickly. "We just need to explain to Finn very calmly about what happened last night. There's no way he can blame you for something that isn't your fault. If anything it's mine – I knew Sebastian was forward but to force a kiss on you…I didn't think he would go that far. I'm sorry, Rachel. We can make Finn understand. And I'll make sure Sebastian stops harassing you."
Oh. Blaine thought that it was all Sebastian's fault. Rachel contemplated letting Blaine believe that Sebastian was the evil villain – that she had been the faithful girlfriend and didn't want it – but that would be a complete lie. She couldn't even blame it on being drunk because Sebastian had stopped her from having anymore alcohol. She had agreed to the dance despite her misgivings. She hadn't broken from Sebastian's hold, something she easily could have done. And the moment that she just couldn't forget was the one in which she had turned around, he had hit her with that smile, and she had pulled him down for a kiss. Rachel Berry couldn't lie to herself – she had kissed Sebastian, not the other way around.
But if they told Finn that Sebastian had basically man-handled her into it…she wouldn't be the traitorous girlfriend and – and Finn would hunt Sebastian down and probably attempt to kill him.
Sebastian may be tall but Finn was the quarterback of the football team and lifted weights with 'the guys' every Tuesday afternoon. The only possible result of such a confrontation would be that Finn would beat Sebastian into the ground or Sebastian would reveal the complete truth and then Finn would break up with her. Or both. Probably both.
And then she probably wouldn't even get Sebastian after that because her then-boyfriend would have pummeled him because she had lied and blamed everything on him.
Rachel Berry knew that she often manipulated events to suit her own needs. But she also had gut instincts – and they were telling her that if she tried to point fingers at Sebastian, it would end badly…most likely for her. Sebastian was too clever to let her get away with something like that.
"And now I've given him your phone number. Rachel, I am so sorry."
"Blaine, stop," Rachel said. Now it was time for a true confession...and tears. "Last night wasn't Sebastian's fault. It was mine." She made sure to make eye contact with Blaine so he understood what she was saying. "I wasn't drunk, he didn't force me. I kissed him. I mean, Sebastian is guilty for being way too attractive but that isn't an argument I can use with – with Finn."
Blaine was speechless and looked more shocked than when Rachel had previously admitted there had been a kiss at all. "…oh," he finally said.
"Still think we can fix it?" Rachel asked with a very weak laugh as she brushed tears off of her face.
"Do…do you really want to?" Blaine asked. "With Finn, I mean. Do you really want to fix it with him?"
"Of course I do!" Rachel stated automatically. It felt like more of reflex than anything, though. It was a saying that, just like 'I have a boyfriend,' was supposed to stand by itself and protect her from further inquiry. Why couldn't Blaine have been like anyone else and just automatically assumed that she would fix it with Finn – just like she always did?
"Of course, Rachel, I'm sorry," Blaine said, immediately back-tracking. "I didn't mean…I just thought…if you wanted…no, I'm sorry. Forget I said anything."
A fresh wave of tears spilled over as Rachel had an instant insight into what Blaine was too kind to say. She had only met Sebastian that night – Blaine had been rejecting Sebastian's advances repeatedly for weeks. If she was so loyal to Finn, why had she wanted to kiss Sebastian – and then proceed to do so – in less than a few hours of meeting him?
Rachel left the Lima Bean in a state of emotional turmoil that she had been attempting to avoid all of that morning. Talking with Blaine had brought everything out and made her re-think last night…and Finn. Blaine had been adamant that she confess to Finn about what happened sooner rather than later. She couldn't exactly say no, of course. The look of relief on Blaine's face when she had agreed with him told the whole story. He in turn had agreed to not say anything until she told Finn – including anything to Kurt. Oh God. She didn't want to think about what Kurt's reaction would be when (if?) he found out. Probably worse than Finn's reaction.
Finn. She didn't really want to think about him just yet. She grabbed her phone and re-read the message Sebastian had sent : So last night? Super hot.
Last night was a mistake, she texted back.
By the time she had driven home, she had a response. Only because you left.
Don't the words 'I have a boyfriend' mean anything to you?
Nope. Told you that last night. Didn't seem to mean anything to you then, either.
Stop it.
Stop what? I can't help that you find me irresistible.
She threw her phone down on the bed in frustration. There was no point in denying it.
Rachel knocked on the door of the Hummel-Hudson home. She bit her lip and shifted her weight as she waited for someone to answer the door. After a few moments, it opened to reveal a beaming Finn.
But then his smile dimmed as she plastered a wide one on her face.
"Rachel?" Finn asked, confused. "What are you doing here? We don't have plans, do we? Because it's Sunday football…I thought you were Puck."
She inwardly sighed. Yes, she could remember that there was football on Sunday afternoons. No, she never made plans because they were futile. Even if she managed to drag Finn away from a television he was only distracted. "Can I come in?" It was cold and she didn't want to do this standing outside.
"Yeah. It's just…the game is on soon…" Finn said, opening the doorway to let her in but there was obvious reluctance in his movements.
"I know, Finn. This won't take long."
"Hi, Rachel," Burt greeted from his position on the couch. "Kurt is out with Blaine. Or did you come to watch the game?"
"No, I'm sorry. I just needed to talk to Finn for a few minutes. I promise I'll be done before the game starts," she said politely, but Finn's face still looked worried.
"Kick-off is in, like, ten minutes. Are you sure whatever it is can't wait?"
No, it couldn't wait. She had thoroughly planned this conversation and even timed it a few times. She was heavily relying on the fact that Finn would want to rush through this and get back to the game. The distraction of football could be used in her favor, this time.
"I'll be quick, Finn, I promise. Do you mind if we go to your room?"
She had even accounted for the time it would take to persuade Finn to leave the room with the television so she could have the conversation.
"Go ahead, Finn. I'll yell before the kick-off starts," Burt said, waving them away. He didn't even bother to tell them to keep the door open – nothing like that would happen when a football game was going to start soon.
"Fine," Finn conceded, leading Rachel to his bedroom.
She entered behind him, almost closing the door but keeping it open a fraction out of pure habit. Finn didn't waste any time with sitting (or offering her a seat) and simply stood there.
"Yeah?" he prompted.
"I have something I need to tell you – about last Friday night. You remember I went out with Kurt and Blaine?" she reminded him.
"Oh, yeah. Kurt said he had fun but I'm glad I didn't go. Would've been kind of awkward for me."
She didn't know what to think about that. What if Finn had gone to Scandals that night? Nope, don't think about it.
"It was fun. But you need to know that something happened while I was there."
"What do you mean? Kurt didn't say anything."
"Kurt wasn't there when it happened. I was dancing with this guy and-"
"Wait," Finn interrupted her. "I thought it was a gay bar."
"It was. But I'm still allowed to dance, Finn. I dance with Kurt and Blaine all the time," Rachel explained. She took a calming breath - now for the tricky part. "But when I was dancing with this guy he got very close to me." Here is where she turned on the tears. "I-I turned around and…our lips touched. I'm so sorry, Finn. It wasn't…I didn't…he was…I left immediately."
"Oh," Finn said. He looked overwhelmed by the tears and she didn't know if he understood what she said. "So it was all just an accident? He just got really close when dancing and so when you turned around to tell him to back off you accidently kissed?" he said, seemingly to placate her.
Relief spread through Rachel as Finn made the assumptions she had wanted him to make. She didn't let it show, though. Instead she let more tears fall and said, "I'm so sorry, Finn. Please don't be angry."
"Why would I be angry? It was an accident. I mean, the guy likes dudes, right?"
"He does," Rachel agreed. It was the complete truth, after all. Sebastian did like men. She stopped the tears.
"He's probably more traumatized than you, then. At least you've kissed gay guys before," Finn concluded with a smile and a shrug.
Rachel felt her eyes go wide in shock. Wow. Okay. She wasn't that bad at kissing, even if the guy was gay. Sebastian had seemed to enjoy it well enough. But she tamped down the anger that was rising. She still needed to be careful with her words.
"Are we okay, then?" she asked.
"Yeah. Was that it?"
"Yes, Finn. That is all I wanted to tell you. Thank you for understanding."
"Okay. Cool," he said. Then suddenly he was leaning down to kiss her. It was typical behavior for them as a couple, something she had trained him to do. After most of their conversations he would lean down to kiss her – it's not like she could reach him, after all. She'd just never felt so uneasy for one before.
Then they were kissing. It was nice, very pleasant – there was no denying that. It was exactly like most of the kisses she and Finn had shared over their time together. But now, it no longer felt like enough. She deepened the kiss…but it didn't seem to matter – it was still nice, sweet. The heat and pure want that she had been flooded with Friday night weren't there. The desire for more wasn't there. Well, okay, she desired more now – now that she had a taste of what-could-be. She just had a sinking feeling it wasn't going to come from – No! She wasn't going to think that. She had made her choice.
The doorbell rang and they broke apart. "That's Puck," Finn explained. She followed him out the door without comment.
Rachel's conscience was clear. She had confessed to Finn - or at least told the truth. She may have left out a lot of details…but if he had wanted them, he could certainly have asked for them. Just because she had carefully arranged and executed her plan so that he wouldn't ask questions didn't mean that he had to follow her script. Blaine's conscience could be clear, too, because now he wasn't keeping her secret. He may not feel that way if he ever found out the exact nature of her 'confession' to Finn, but what Blaine didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
She had chosen Finn - because she and Finn were meant to be together right? She hadn't struggled to make a relationship work for the past two years all to toss it away senior year. Just because a handsome boy waltzes in and sings really well and holds her close and makes her feel…doesn't mean she should just give up everything she'd worked so hard for. She'd promised Finn her senior year, hadn't she?
Yet despite all of her reasoning, she couldn't stop the smile on her face when she looked at her phone and saw she had a new text from Sebastian Smythe. She also found she couldn't resist the temptation to respond.