A/N!: Chapters 1 and 2 are reversed as well as much editing due to slashing and deleted materials by some outside force. Unless you don't mind new inferences, please start again from the beginning. And yes, I promise, there is updates as well.
All Harry Potter references belong to JK Rowling and company. I simply write to fill the gaps between the books and movies for all! If you sue me you get nothing because that is what I now have in abundance.
Bold areas mean someone remembering the past.
Italic is handwriting (i.e. letters).
Magic Simply Is:
By: Bonnie S.
Chapter One:
Past and Present
The first summer of the official return of the Dark Lord was in full heat. Disappearances and outright attacks were rising. Severus could feel the stirrings and mistrust towards all that Riddle held for any outside of his precious Nagini. This made his life as a double agent even harder. Many days he wondered why he bothered until his mind floated back to her and the eyes she left behind.
After a long Order meeting held at the school under the guise of preparing for the coming year, a number of members had remained to eat together. Severus took the time to relax. The next few weeks were apt to near destroying him. Then news came to Hogwarts that morning to make it all the worse.
Severus knew that the letter Dumbledore received had to have been sent by Lupin from the handwriting on the envelope. The note within had to convey bad news given the old man's normal damn cheerfulness left the moment his hand touched the papers within.
Then in came the doctor's report.
Severus' mother, while still in hiding for her life (he never trusted the at large Death Eaters, and his mother swore that the Dark Lord was not gone forever), had been steadily growing weak. Only when the rat had managed to resurrect the Dark Lord did the woman understood how much her son still needed her. Eileen Devona Prince-Snape agreed to the doctor's visit. The report was not pleasing.
Professor Snape,
I have attended your mother as we discussed. Unfortunately, I have now good news to report.
Your mother's symptoms and the test results all point to a combination of severe physical exhaustion and the end stages of Faqueza-Ryce Syndrome. This disease has no cure and is progressive in its course.
This syndrome slowly eats away at a witch or wizard's magic from within, stealing their power until eventually the person becomes Muggle, not even a trace of magic within them. At this point all Wizarding medicines are useless. Once all magic is exhausted, the syndrome begins attacking the central nervous and circulatory systems. Once this process begins, there is only a matter of days to weeks of life remaining for the patient.
As of now, our mother's store of magical core seems nearly used up. Each spell she casts hereafter will drain her reserves more than normal, and there will be no rebuilding of her magic from within. My best estimation is one year before your mother's magic will be gone. After that, given her weakened body, I doubt that she will have a week or two left of her life.
My best advice would be for you to spend as much time with her as is possible. At this point in her condition, even conserving her magic by reducing the amount of magic used will do nothing to help.
I wish I had better news.
Sincerely Yours,
Bliant G. Deogol
Head Healer
St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies
That was it. His mother was slowly losing her place as a witch also slowly dying. At only ninety years of age, still young in Wizarding terms. Yet, what could anyone do? Nothing.
"Severus, I need to speak with you." The old man had somehow always gotten the better of the spy by sneaking up behind him. The distraction of the letter only made such easier than normal. Severus knew without a doubt that Albus Dumbledore had read the doctor's report as well and had some idiotic Gryffindor plan bubbling in mind.
Without a word, Severus nodded, folded away the message of doom, and followed the Headmaster to his office silently. Once in that familiar room, the younger man found himself ushered into the private sitting room behind the old man's desk. Sensing a powerful silencing and shield charm rise, Severus knew that Dumbledore wished for this meeting to remain private. The younger man was grateful, yet he did not wish to discuss what taters of his life remained.
"Severus, first I give even if you do not take my deep condolences on the message from the doctor about your mother. Eileen is a wonderful woman who has suffered far too much. Second, obviously you cannot remain here at the school while having any real time with her, yet for you to leave the school entirely would leave the both of you exposed." Dumbledore sighed.
Severus shook his head but before he could speak, Dumbledore moved on with his plan. "My boy, your mother would want whatever time she could gain with you. Therefore, you should go spend a bit of the summer with her in the safe house."
Now Severus was visibly confused. Dumbledore's eye regained their blasted twinkle. "After all, Eileen is in no condition to pack all of her own belongings."
The plotting of the old man was clear as mud now. Dumbledore intended on bringing Severus' mother to the school. "Sir, it will not be safe here."
"We will make it safe. Severus, as often as I know you would go to visit her now, leaving her in the safe house would be equally dangerous. Here she can have a room that will connected to yours, the house elves will be here to help guard and tend for her well being, and I will hire a nurse to also help."
Severus shook his head. "Sir, I cannot afford that. And to get the blessings to alter the castle …"
"…one needs the permission and blessings of the School Headmaster and three-fourths of the Board of Governors. Seeing as I am the Headmaster, there will be no problems with that requirement." Dumbledore's eyes were still twinkling.
"The Board would not be as gracious with me. After all, once again you have had to prevent my dismissal by them just yesterday. Besides, to show me favoritism would draw a red flag with the Dark Lord," Severus pointed out bluntly.
Dumbledore, however, was not about to concede defeat on this discussion. "Tom will not see a problem, because there are a couple of requests for enlargements for extra storage space in my summer paperwork. I believe the one Minerva handed me would be the right size for a second personal storage area in the dungeons. Leaving the only question as where to put the new room?"
"Explain away the nurse," Severus challenged, believing he had the old woman on this point.
Dumbledore smiled slightly. "who said that anyone need know the real reason your distant cousin, Sahar, is studying healing herbs under you and Madame Pomfrey?"
"Mother will not be content to simply remain in our rooms as long as she can move about on her own." Yes, Severus knew the dispute was over and his mother would be moving into the castle for her final days. There was still the matter of her safety. He wanted every precious day with her that he could steal away from death. "With the children of Death Eaters here, and the Dark Lord still wanting her dead …"
Dumbledore had an answer once again. "All but a very few children we know are marked to become Death Eaters or whose family are in Tom's service have transferred to Durmstrang effective next school term. What few are here will have many house elves to deal with. And a single house elf who finds the one he or she holds allegiance to is a force to be reckoned with."
"Potter yet again," Severus spat.
Dumbledore nodded slightly. "Yes, Harry. Dobby drove off Lucius with a single spell. I still say that the resemblance to James is a bit too convincing. So little of Lily there for the eye to see."
That was it. Severus had to get out of there before the old man had the chance to manipulate him out of that one last possibility left alone! "Headmaster, I must pack for my journey. Mother dislikes when I do not arrive when I say I will."
However, before he could get to the door, Dumbledore spoke again, "you could let him in … if only because he is a part of her."
Severus said not a word as he left for his dungeon rooms. He would never allow Potter to become a part of his life. No, he did not hate the boy. It was what might have been that haunted the potions master within the boy's green eyes … Lily's eyes. All that Severus gave up without knowing either way.
He quickly began to pack his things the second he was in his rooms. Already there were house elves measuring for the door that would lead to his mother's rooms come the start of the new term. One thing none could say of the Headmaster, that he was ever a procrastinator when he had won in any matter.
Severus nearly had his bags packed when his hand brushed the box.
For years, he had taken such care to avoid it in the back of his wardrobe's high shelf. Today, Severus was in such a rush that he forgot it was there. Instantly the lump he had nearly abolished from his throat had returned and his eyes ached with restrained tears longing their freedom. Fifteen years, nearly sixteen now since the end and that damned Halloween night. Yet, the pain remained in his soul. Suppressed by darker emotions, yet remained just beneath the surface.
Beyond his better judgment, Severus pulled the box out and sat on his bed. The shoebox sized wood box was a gift from Lily that first Christmas they had been friends. 'To hide away your secrets, Severus,' she had written in her letter … a letter he still had in the box.
He pulled it out and smiled faintly. She sounded very much like Granger! No wonder he used the pet name he had given Lily with the girl.
Dear Severus,
Happy Christmas to my dearest friend.
Despite not wanting a gift from me, you have received one because this is what friends do for one another.
This box can only be seen by you now. I charmed it to be so. This way you can hide all of your deepest secrets. Ask if you want to go over the needed charms next session.
One day, when you want to share it with another, all you have to do is knowingly open it in front of that person. Then they will see it, but only they and you. Hope one day I am one of those people.
Until later.
Love,
Lily Evans
He had wanted Lily to be the first to look in the box, on their wedding night. Nevertheless that night never came. She married Potter, just as Severus had asked her to.
A whiff of the old parchment told Severus that her old perfume was still as he remembered. She had charmed it to be detectable no matter how long it existed. Yes, he had things to bring her to his mind. However, Harry was the strongest of them all.
In his mind, Severus went back to that night that changed everything for him.
He had gone to the Death Eaters meeting expecting to pretend he was enjoying the horrific crimes he was encouraged to do. In truth, he was a stained man with no more hope than the few he could save on rare occasions.
At every meeting were his mother and sister standing between his uncle and grandfather. They were what made him join, participate, and remain with the Death Eaters. Otherwise, both women would have paid the price for his disobedience.
It was a rape and torture session once again. Even worse, Severus was 'given' a ten-year-old girl with gray eyes and curly red hair. Yet, for Severus, the child's face that hurt him most. Scarily, the child looked very much like Lily did at that age! Then his grandfather told of how Lucius's younger brother reported the amount of time the Mudblood-lover teachers forced 'poor Severus' to associate with the 'Mudblood' Evans in school. Moreover, the report pointedly described how many had seen Severus around her much since graduation. That meant this was the Dark Lord testing Severus' loyalty to the cause.
Even so, the resemblance was too much! Severus just held nowhere the level of malice or evil in his soul needed to raise his wand against the child. Especially as the two of them watched as her parents died at the wands of two other masked Death Eaters only feet away. He quickly took a coin from his pocket and created an emergency Portkey to an orphanage whose existence he knew the Dark Lord was ignorant of for the moment. Forcefully he pressed it into her hand and then activated it.
His disobedience cost Severus dear. His beloved little sister, Laila, feel after Death Curse hit her heart – sent at the young woman by their grandfather! In retaliation, Severus watched his mother attack her father with her nails. Thankfully, the woman escaped after leaving gaping wounds on the face of the patriarch of the Prince family. Severus knew that she went to the safe house her father knew nothing of thus far. He however remained and endured.
To him the agony was endless. For the young man, seemingly every Death Eater cursed and punished Severus severely for his obvious betrayal. A large number seemed to enjoy multiple turns at him before the foul snake ended this bout.
Once the cursing was over, the Dark Lord bent over him and asked Severus why. Even to the modern day, Severus had no idea why he said it, but he blamed that Dumbledore was scanning him for truthfulness. Then he came up with a story of considering the idea that spying on the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would yield promising information. He had not said anything for fear of word making its way back to the old dim-witted man. However, due to the sense of being 'checked up on' by the old man, Severus had to do something to gain the fool's trust.
The Dark Lord felt displeased by Severus' secrecy. Honestly, the villain seemed deeply unnerved at how well and seemingly long a time that the boy had hid the plan. Yet, he was pleased and impressed by Severus' ingenuity, nerve, and cunning. The Dark Lord had gone so far to suppose that this had been Severus' reason for conversing with Evans - a way to show his 'disgust' as a Death Eater to Dumbledore. The foolish Riddle then ordered Severus to do whatever it took to gain Dumbledore's favor and trust.
Severus questioned himself at how he could do so safely. No way would Dumbledore be fool enough to give him an audience, much less not turn him in to the Aurors. Meaning that he faced death or Azkaban prison; in truth such was the same fate that awaited him if he did not try. Nevertheless, he would not take either path until he had done the Dark Lord some damage for the death of his beloved sister. He only wondered how he could cause the greatest amount of damage in whatever time still allotted him.
With that 'truth' finally out, the meeting ended. Just in time. Severus still had a meeting tonight. The meeting he looked forward to since he got her message moments before his Dark Mark summoned him. Lily had to talk.
Then he began to consider the future. Lily Evans … his sweet Lily, all that made life worth living for Severus wrapped in a single package. She was Muggle-born, which meant she would become a target to hurt him if they were to become any closer.
Then again, there was only one way that they really could be closer - sharing the same last name. Resting his right hand over the spot on his left forearm where the Dark Mark still ached from the summons, Severus knew that was a dream stolen from him by his grandfather. A dream lost that he would forever hate the man because. Yet, Severus had to think about Lily's safety over his heartbreak.
Quickly as he could, Severus Apparated to the outside of the school he once called his home for seven years. Lily was waiting and pacing at the spot by the lake that had been their meeting spot for a year and a half. Obviously, she had made her decision. Severus doubted the news would be good.
In reality, Severus desperately fought with his tears. It had been such a long time since he truly cried. Not since the morning of All Saint 's Day, 1980 had more than a few tears fall from Severus' eyes. Yet, remembering that meeting and the dreams he lost always made him weep.
This was the Severus Snape only two knew – Dumbledore and Lupin. The man who was heart-broken, lonely, and filled with grief so powerful it was a wonder that it did not bring him to the edge of suicide. A private man, Severus wanted the rest to see him as they did – the cold-hearted, greasy, Slytherin favoring, bat of a git.
Yet, that night, everything went wrong. That night, Severus wept without solace.
He took out the oldest bundle of letters that he had received from her as tears and memory drew him deeper into the past. Quickly after receiving the box, he had realized that it was charmed never to fill completely. So many memories he had hidden inside of the box now. Looking at the letters, Severus wondered what his precious flower thought of all he had done and not done over the years since her death.
Hidden from mortal eyes, Lily Potter sighed. She too wondered what differences would be if life had only been different for them all. Yes, she was proud of her love. Moreover, she understood what he had done and left be. Yet, his pain, tears, and grief all tore into her heart. She had never wanted to cause his sorrow.
Lily too remembered that last meeting between them.
She paced back and forth. How could she have been so stupid? She knew that night had been cutting it close, but Severus had not held her in over two weeks. Lily remained faithful to her loves by then going to James a few hours later and lying with him. She never showed favoritism.
Yet, now it left her in her current situation. For two weeks, she suspected but that night sealed their fates when Madame Pomfrey turned suspicion into certainty. Lily was having a baby.
She thought back to their fifth year and Lily could not hold back her smile. Outside influences forced her and Severus together as one another's tutors in potions for her and charms for him. Dumbledore pushed the issue as needed to promote inter-house cooperation. That first session Lily struggled through her potion homework, while Severus blazed through like a Master. Afterwards it was Severus struggling with Charms, while Lily finished her homework for Professor Flitwick quickly. Her every attempt to help him was met with coldness and insults.
The next session, Lily Evans laid down the law though. She pushed Severus against the wall as soon as the door shut. The glare in her eyes left no doubt that she was not a witch for any to slight. "Listen to me Severus Snape. I need your help in Potions, as I know better than most you are the best of our year in that subject. Moreover, you need my help in Charms. See, I know that you are out to become a Potions Master – your class schedule gives that away to any with eyes and brains in their heads. However, all Potions Masters look at your entire grading career. Moreover, to be registered within the Ministry's Masters Program the requirements are strict to the greatest of extremes. You need to pass Charms. I want to pass Potions. We need one another. Now either start working with me, or you will find yourself alone here when we are supposed to be helping one another."
"Why not get help from your boyfriend, Potter?" Severus sneered.
Lily blushed softly. No one she thought knew of her seeing James. "He needs more help than I. James simply refuses to ask for it."
That had been enough to gain his mutual aid. Quickly their scores in the two subjects rose. After that, the sessions were simply for support and team studies the teachers were 'encouraged' to assign the pair. The day of the DADA written test, Severus heard a whispered conversation about his Mudblood girlfriend.
The summer before, his grandfather had placed Severus under the Imperius Curse and threatened the young man's little sister and mother with death—all to force Severus to become a Death Eater. All of the children of Voldemort's followers kept close tabs on Severus, knowing that his enrollment had not been voluntary. When he began to hear whispers of plots against Lily because of him, he decided to guard her by ending their friendship.
He knew what would happen if he went outside that day. He did it, knowing that Lily would stand up for him. It broke his heart to turn on her, especially when she got that shattered look in her eyes. After she left, he accepted the further torment as punishment. Half an hour later, Professor McGonagall stopped the Marauders.
Her broken and disbelieving expression still tore him apart. Lily obviously had begun to develop deep feeling towards him in their friendship too, so it was better that it all ended like this. Severus went straight to their old meeting room and was stunned.
The door slammed shut, heavy silencing and shielding charms went up, and he was facing a furious Lily Evans. "Explain now."
He had to keep her safe. "What is there to explain?"
"Severus Snape, I thought you knew me better than that. I am not about to fall for the Slytherin got the better of the Gryffindor Know-it-all crap either! Now explain yourself." Lily's eyes boded no argument.
This was an expression that Severus had seen her use on Potter and Black many times – neither of them stood long against it, and now Severus knew first hand why. It had a power all its own. "I am trying to protect you, damn it!"
"Protect me?" Lily's face softened with confusion.
"Yes, protect you! You are my dearest friend, but there are those who are recently induced Death Eaters who are plotting against you because of the time we spend together outside of class and studying," Severus explained. The truth was he had fallen in love with Lily, but knew she wanted to be with Potter. Even if she spurned the brat now, Severus knew the pair would be together eventually.
Lily softly smiled. "Severus, you have taught me enough DADA and Dark Arts protections to handle any of the newest Death Eaters. Plus I never have taken off the necklace you hooked on me the night Jr. Malfoy tried to rape me." Severus was stunned by that, she was still wearing his gift? Lily only nodded at first. "The one you infused with protections that not even I have sensed before."
Severus looked away. "I still worry."
All of the sudden he felt warm arms wrap around his ribs and breathed in the night-blooming jasmine perfume Lily always wore. Gods, how he loved that scent that he would forever equate with her. "Trust me, Severus. Trust yourself. Moreover, yes, trust James. We three make an unbeatable team. So long as we three can plan, scheme, and watch out for one another … then not even the Dark Lord can defeat us."
A snapping twig drew Lily back into reality. Turning around she saw her soul mate, and she saw the pain in his eyes. "Severus."
"Lily," his voice was so cold.
The moment her arms slid around him, Lily detected the shield and wall he was building between them. "I have news."
Severus sat without a word or embrace. Something certainly was wrong. "I have come to the fork."
The three of them all knew that this signaled Lily making her choice. However, Lily thought that Severus read the situation wrong. "And Potter wins yet again."
"No Severus. It is more complicated than before." She rested her hand on his left forearm … big mistake.
Severus hissed and leapt away from her side–in part from the pain coming from the still sore Dark Mark, and part in guarding her. He didn't want his poison to pollute her. All of these years he had been able to hide it, until that moment.
Lily deduced the truth very quickly. "How long has it been there?"
"Since the summer before we were 'brought' back together." Severus sighed. He would not lie to her.
"Was it of your own free will?" Her trembling voice dug at Severus' already wounded heart.
Severus gave up all hope. His dreams were shattered. All to protect the woman he dearly loved. "What does it matter?"
"It matters to me." Lily pushed. She always had to know.
Bowing his head, Severus shut his eyes. "No."
He then explained that initiation and every meeting since. He confessed his sins to his only love. Then he explained what had happened that night. Lily's broken heart bathed her face in tears. She quickly pulled him into her embrace and let him mourn, if only a little. He didn't cry but the silence around them filled with his grief.
Then he put her above himself. "Lily, I am not a safe man to be with. You have to go with Potter and make your life."
"I want ..." She began, but Severus stopped her. "I want you to remain safe, and with me is not so."
"Severus, I am three weeks pregnant."
Those few words hit him between the eyes. His beloved Lily was carrying a baby. "Whose?"
"I don't know. I was with you both around the time he was conceived."
Severus was shocked further, "he? But it is too soon to tell."
"Madame Pomfrey says he is so powerful that she is certain I am carrying a boy. She told me that the coupling that created him had to be from a powerful and deeply binding twin flame of mine. You and James are my twin flames, yes. However, you are more binding."
A son ... heir to one line or the other. With him, life would be servitude to the Dark Lord followed by a certain death or prison. However, with Potter, life would be fame and popularity. Severus knew right then what he had to do––give up the chance to be a father and husband … give up Lily and the baby. "This is Potter's child, and do not say otherwise."
"But ..." Lily felt her heart break. What was going on? She had hoped the news would make her love happy. Instead, Severus seemed shattered even more.
Severus looked into those vibrant green eyes he loved to gaze into for hours. This was his final night with her, one last night of happiness. "If I claim this child, look at the dark life he will have. I am bound to the Dark Lord's service whether I like it or not, until my death or I am sentenced to Azkaban. With Potter, you and this baby will live. This child will have all I did not growing up. That is the best I can do for this boy, and so I give you both up. Go marry Potter and live ... for what we once had."
"Severus, I don't want to lose you. This baby is drawn to you. Here feel." Sobbing, Lily took his palm and rested it on her still flat belly.
Yes, there was a spell building in her belly. Severus felt it pour out into his palm and soak through his skin. A blessing that would protect his soul and life, a very powerful charm – one that was difficult for most fully grown and trained Wizards with wands. This boy had to indeed be powerful to create such a charm using wild magic and at this stage of his mother's pregnancy. Now Severus held one possible hope in his heart to fight for–that Lily's child was his son. Never would he act on it, but he held it as his reason to go on and fight.
He sighed and kissed her cheek. It was time to let go of the dream he held for so long: Lily as his wife. "This is how life must be, Lily. Little one, you take care of your mother. I have to go and try to take down as many Death Eaters as I can before I am caught and killed."
The idea of this broke Lily's heart further. No, she would not allow him to commit this suicide. "Then one favor I ask of you, love. Go to Dumbledore. He can help you. Trust him as you have trusted me. Do this for the two of us."
Severus kissed her lips a final time and walked away. Lily held her tears back until she made it to the Gryffindor Common Room. This was where she and James had agreed to meet, as everyone else would be at dinner. Nevertheless, once she saw James' concerned expression, the truth hit her hard. She broke down into sobs and cried herself nearly out before explaining all that she had learned along with what Severus had said.
James was stunned. He and Severus both had shared the dream of having Lily as their wife for years. It was a dream that James had been sure would ever be only a dream for him. He knew that Lily was closer to Severus than to him, still James enjoyed what time as her love he had. Now, Severus had freely given him that sweet dream? "Let's go to Madame Pomfrey for the paternity test."
"No," Lily spoke firmly. "I never want to know, James. If this is not your son, I have a charm that will hide that until magically removed. This way if something happens, Severus can take it off and care for the baby. Please, for me?"
That was all it took. A month later, Lily Evans became Lily Potter. To all around she seemed so happy and in love. James did not doubt his new wife's love for him, but he knew that her true love was another.
July 31st, the little boy was born. James talked Lily into naming his best friend, Sirius Black, the child's godfather; with that grace, he was lenient on the boy's name. Harry James Potter. Everyone assumed it was James' given name in reversed order, and it may have seemed so. Yet, James knew better. Most of the Wizarding World did not call Lily the cleverest witch of their year for nothing. She had named the boy for both of his fathers—James Harry Potter and Severus Harrison Snape. James easily saw from the start that little Harry was a boy with a special destiny.
Severus went through the last bundle of letters he had received from Lily. Then he pulled out his mementos from the house. Her hairbrush – with a few of her hairs still within the bristles, both of their wands – still as they had been that night, Potter's glasses – broken from his death were unrepaired and in their old case, her favorite perfume – the bottle still nearly full as Severus had given it to her through Lupin as a gift for her birthday. All of it reminded the broken man of all he lost.
He thought back to the night he had given her up. Yes, he had met with the Headmaster as she begged of him. Severus still remembered that strange meeting vividly, even after all the years since.
Slowly he walked through the familiar halls. Severus knew this route by heart, but taking this trip did nothing to calm him as it had in his years here as a student. What was he doing? Severus was going to meet with his former Headmaster for the first time since his graduations from Hogwarts. Yet, why? That was a question that he often asked himself when he would do something that his Slytherin training screamed at him not to do. The answer once again was as it had been every time since he first questioned his actions done for Lily Eva … no Lily potter now. The answer one could find in two simple words: for her.
Severus stood before that familiar gargoyle in an attempt to deduce which candy the Headmaster chose for a password recently. He himself always felt that such was foolish, always using candy for a password. It was too easy to stand there and spout off different candies until the right one is selected. Once he voiced such to the Headmaster, only to find out that was the Headmaster's plan—in case a student needed access to his offices in an emergency.
Before Severus could hazard a guess, the statue leapt to the side and revealed the moving spiral staircase to the Headmaster's office. Within a heartbeat, Severus had his wand out and cautiously stepped onto the moving stairs up to the old fool's office. There were only two reasons for this to happen: 1) he had always been right, and the Headmaster had left himself exposed to danger that had ended the old man's life or 2) the old man was waiting for him.
At the top of the stairs, Severus slowly stepped closer to the old oak door. His ears listened to any implicating sounds. His heartbeat raced with fear and dread. Nevertheless, his muscles were tense and ready for a fight … whether if it were for or against the old man.
Within the beat before Severus could lay a hand on the doorknob and familiar voice called from the other side, "do you really need your wand against a senile old man, Severus?"
Therefore, the old man had been expecting him. Severus never had deciphered just how the old man seemed to know everything that went on in and around the school. Such made the old man near God-Like as any could seem.
Opening the door, Severus found Dumbledore standing behind his desk—wand drawn and pointed at Severus' heart. Not as much of an old fool as Severus often called him Dumbledore seemed. The old man's muscles were stiff and rigid; his expression was firm and chastising. Yet, the damnable twinkle in his eyes broke the fierce appearance.
Severus decided to start it all … the end of his life as a free man. "You are anything but senile old man, Headmaster."
"Well, there are those who would disagree with you certainly." The expression and stance of the old man did not change. "I believe that there is to be congratulations given, but is it to you or James?"
As always, the old man knew. Severus refused to pretend. "Potter."
The expression on Dumbledore's face turned to one of ambiguity. "Are you certain of that?"
"Yes," Severus answered shortly. He refused to hope for that which he would forever dream was real. That he would be a father soon.
To ease the situation, Severus put away his wand. After all, there was nothing left for him now but his waiting cell in Azkaban prison. In answer, Dumbledore too put his wand away. Severus took the seat the Headmaster silently offered as the old man sat behind his desk. For some minutes, they simply sat there quietly looking at one another. Finally, Dumbledore broke the encompassing silence.
"Why are you here, Severus?"
Severus swallowed. He did not really know why he had come outside of the fact Lily asked him to do so. Maybe she only hoped that their old Headmaster would either help him avoid Azkaban or get his sentence shortened somehow. Yes, that was all Severus had left before him–death or Azkaban … just as he had explained it to Lily. Time to get it over with quickly he decided. Severus took out his wand and rested it on the old man's desk. "I have come to turn myself over to you, Headmaster. I am a Death Eater. Call in the Aurors, sir. I will go quietly and without struggle."
That had taken every bit of courage Severus had: seven years of being around Gryffindors worth. He rested his face in his hands as he quietly waited. He heard no sound of the merrily burning fire that warmed the room becoming a communication conduit. Severus heard no words from Dumbledore's lips that would condemn him to the wizard's prison for life nor were there the sounds of anyone coming through to take him away.
Severus looked up to find that the Headmaster had moved away to sit behind his Wizard's Chess set – behind the white pieces. The old man sipped on some tea and looked as if he expected nothing at all to happen soon. Dumbledore was giving Severus a choice tonight, but the younger man could decipher what that second choice might be for his life. Should he take it not knowing what he was agreeing to? Really, Severus could not see any other choice.
The younger man stood and took his place behind the black pieces. Dumbledore moved his center pawn two spaces forward as he spoke, "you could trust me until Tom is defeated and gone, Severus."
Severus considered his pieces and his options carefully. "What would you have me do, Headmaster?"
Dumbledore sat back and waited patiently. "Tell me everything up to tonight. Tell me what you learn from here on out. Protect our people with knowledge that one can only glean from within, knowledge that your Occlumency skills can guard from Tom's curiosity and skill in Legilimency. Help create the plans that will ensure that the light will win. In short, become my hidden general and second."
Severus was shocked. The old man just might be senile to give him that level of trust so quickly. Spying his own teacup, Severus sipped it only to find his favorite: black tea, ginger, lemon, and sugar. There was no cool winteriness aftertaste; the aftertaste that a potions maker of any talent would note as traces of veritaserum that were hid within a drink. Dumbledore continued to wear his mask of innocence. "Trust, Severus, is a singular jewel that is as fragile as it is rare. Coming here you ask for my trust, would it not be obvious that you would expect the same to be given you in kind?"
With a nod, Severus took his center pawn and moved it to face Dumbledore's at the same time casting the die of fate. "Now I am the servant of two masters it would seem."
Dumbledore shook his head. "Not a servant of mine, Severus. You have joined me of your own free will, and you I will respect and honor as you shall me. This is where Tom goes wrong and shall help to destroy him in the end. While he sees you as his devoted servant and mere potions maker, I know you are my trustworthy general and head spy. He would eventually question and accuse, while I trust and defend you with all that I have."
As the chess game progressed, Severus once again confessed his every sin. Like when he had with Lily, Severus felt cleaner once he had finished his confession. Afterwards, he and the Headmaster of Hogwarts began to plan. By the time that the game ended, the battle was won in the Headmaster's favor twice over … Severus lost the match to his friend and mentor, and the younger man was a spy for the light.
Severus sighed as he again tied the final bundle of letters and sat them on his bed. Even after her marriage to Potter, the two of them kept in touch. Severus took out the old and battered photo album. This he treasured.
Inside were photos of Lily at first, showing that she was trying to be happy ... for him. Then it went on through her pregnancy. As her belly grew with each picture, Severus felt his deep hate grow again. It was a hate aimed more at his own grandfather rather than Potter. That Potter had been there and not him, only because of the Dark Mark—this truth still hurt. Then he came to the picture taken just after Harry had been born. Lily looked so tired, but happy.
Next came the only one of Potter he had, holding baby Harry. James had sent it with a note, a note that he had there tucked under the picture.
Severus,
Thank you for the dream. I only wish it were not so dangerous still. I found an old law that allows triad marriages. I know you are already rolling your eyes and plotting my death for mentioning it. But, I could stand being married to you if it made our Lily happier. She still loves you above all, even me.
Here is the first picture of our (and I mean us three, Severus) newborn son. Lily agreed for Sirius to be his godfather and I agreed to his name. Harry James Potter. It is not just my given name reversed. After all, Lily isn't the Gryffindor Know-it-all for nothing. Harry – Harrison ... ring any bells?
Please keep an eye on him if something happens to us. After all, not every kid has two dads. Besides, you have a responsibility to him too now.
James
Potter always was a smart ass. Severus smirked as he tucked the letter behind the picture. Yes, he would have entered the triad, if only to annoy Potter by becoming the dominant name for the family and to please Lily. James looked up at him expectantly. Severus finally found his voice again, "I'm doing what is right for him. I still watch over the boy, I just can't let him in."
The James in the picture shook his head and then focused on the tiny baby in his arms.
Severus still felt the pangs of jealousy he had the first time he had seen that picture. Yet, James had so little time after that night. One year and three months later, the dream was over for Potter and Lily – along with their lives. Severus remembered that horrid night clearly.
The Dark Lord summoned him yet again. It was Halloween, meaning expectantly there would be a hunt. Severus saw that he was not to be disappointed. The young double spy Apparated to an open field … a place that warily felt familiar to the young man.
The Dark Lord had him stand at his right hand. Then the worse of news was announced. They were to attack the township of Godric's Hollow! Severus knew that had been where Lily and her precious family hid away from the war! But, who had been the traitor? No … BLACK! He was their secret keeper! For all that was Holy … he was Harry's Godfather!
Yet, the Dark Lord walked right to the house and turned to Severus and Lucius. "Lucius, take Severus with your hunt party tonight. I have my own business to conduct tonight."
"Yes Master." Ah, Malfoy was always the faithful lapdog when he could gain by acting so meek.
Severus had no choice but to go. Then the Dark Lord made it all the worse! "Take care to watch for one another. I fear we have a spy amongst us. You two alone I know in heart and actions to be faithful. The Aurors will come shortly, no doubt of that. Severus, maintain your watch of the fool. Should anything happen to you I am certain he would do anything to defend his 'spy for the light'. Old man really has lost his mind."
Now Severus could not Disaparate away quickly to warn of the betrayal. All he could do was hope that Lily would have the sense to get away with the baby if Potter remained his stupid Gryffindor self as always. Severus pretended to cover Lucius' back while the idiot went crazy. The rest happened so suddenly.
Aurors Apparated in and took both he and Lucius into custody. Severus simply knew that it was too late. Yet, the Aurors gave him a single ray of hope as he listened to them.
"Can't believe it."
"Well, it's true. The boy really did it!"
"Wonder how he did it. Maybe the Dark Lord didn't attack him."
"Sure he did. I saw the poor tyke myself. Lightening bolt curse scar on his forehead. Right above his right eye."
"So, what will happen to him now?"
"Go to his mother's family. Dumbledore says he'll be safest there."
"More like so the kid doesn't get a swollen head from his fame."
"Think you're right. After all, people's already calling him 'The-boy-who-lived'. He'll never be forgotten, that's for sure."
"Just wish his mum and dad made it through. Awful mess, what was left of them."
"Death curse done with any great force does that."
After that, Severus went numb. Lily and Potter were gone. His beautiful Lily was dead. He had given her to Potter in an effort to keep her safe, and instead she has ended up dead! Poor Harry … his indirect son. At least the boy was alive, but living with Lily's family. Obviously, that meant her sister, Petunia—a woman that Lily disliked and never wanted anything to do with in life. Tunie was a woman Severus remembered all too well and wouldn't trust with the Dark Lord himself.
Minutes later, Severus was in his cell in Azkaban. He had told Lily that this was where he would end up. He hadn't protested nor revealed his position as a spy for the Light. Severus Snape was not foolish to show his hand like that. Nor was he foolish enough to believe that the Dark Lord was gone for all time. Besides, in his heart, this was where he belonged.
Having no joy left in the world, the Dementors left him alone. Yet, that was not the only dark factor to the prison experience. Those who the situation had driven mad cried out insanely. The newer prisoners shouted out curses or pleas for mercy. Some, scheduled for the Kiss, yelled the loudest of all.
Then he thought about her, and his exterior crumbled. Lily was dead even though he had given her away. The tears refused to stop pouring down his face as Severus sobbed and beat his hands on the cold, stone floor. All of his dreams were dead. All of his joy was gone. His only love was further from his reach than marriage had moved her once. He didn't know how long he mourned, but eventually all of his tears cried out of his eyes and Severus remembered the boy.
Harry would most likely not know the truth of his heritage until he turned eleven. Even then, Dumbledore would have to fetch him without a doubt. At least he would be far away from the only 'parent' he had left – a 'father' he could most certainly live without in spite of all fate had swirled out of control.
Severus hardened his heart and settled himself for his life in prison. He was justly there, and prepared to remain. Yet, fate had other plans for him.
Dumbledore arrived some hours later and smiled on Severus. "You are a very strong man, Severus."
"I have no joys left, Headmaster," was Severus' curt reply; even the few hours he sat in that place had altered him.
Dumbledore nodded. "We all have lost greatly this terrible night. I saw Harry off to his relatives an hour ago. He was sleeping peacefully."
"And what does that have to do with me?" Severus refused to allow the old man to him so easily. Yet, the fact that Harry was asleep without nightmare gave him some hope for the child.
Dumbledore simply smiled a bit. "I understand, Severus. You agree then that Tom is not gone completely?"
"The Dark Lord is only waiting, sir. The boy will be in mortal peril from the moment he re-enters our world on until the Dark Lord is completely destroyed," Severus voiced his one fear at last.
Dumbledore nodded. "Severus, I have obtained your release. You will not be safe either in the open."
"I can protect myself," Severus said coldly. "I have for many years now."
Dumbledore again nodded. "Yet, you should have a safe place to live. I have a proposition that would do us both a world of good, and protect young Harry the day he returns."
Severus was wary. The twinkle was bright in those damnable blue eyes. Without speaking, he allowed the Headmaster of Hogwarts continue, "I asked you to trust my decisions until Tom is gone, Severus. I ask you to trust me once again. Come to Hogwarts as the Potions professor. Professor …"
"To have that position, one must be a certified and registered Potions Master! And I am much better at DADA." Severus snapped.
"And all you lack for that honor is an internship by a registered Potions Mistress … or Master." Dumbledore answered. Yes, that what had taken him so long—Dumbledore had a plan in mind and had already set part of it into motion.
Severus growled to himself for a moment. He had been willing to trust his former Headmaster before, for now he would continue to do such. "When would Professor Slughorn have me start?"
"Tonight it would seem. He has been onto me for years to find a suitable Slytherin replacement for both his class and post as Head of Slytherin house."
Severus was in shock, "But sir! Head of my former house?"
"Why not? I know no one better, plus it follows the tradition that each Head of House come from their particular house," Dumbledore said simply as if there was nothing wrong.
Severus on the other hand saw many things wrong. "Sir, I have been imprisoned as a Death Eater. The board of directors will not accept me kindly as the head of the house all love to hate and believe breeds nothing but Death Eaters. I will be lucky if they accept my application for the potions position."
Dumbledore's expression grew serious. "Then make them fools to think such, Severus. Don't worry about the Head of House position … I will take care of that."
Severus sighed and looked out of his grimy window. "I would still be better at teaching DADA."
"You know that I haven't that form of influence over the Wizarding World, Severus. Nevertheless, someday that may come to you. Just continue to work as you do." Dumbledore soothed over the hurt. Severus doubted that he would ever be that trusted. Then the Headmaster went on. "He will need you to watch over him when he comes to Hogwarts in ten years, Severus. Are you certain …?"
"He is Potter's son, which is the way it is to be. I have seen his pictures, and he will grow up to be his father made over." Severus sighed. His one-time hopes crushed when he saw that picture of the boy. All but his eyes and nose looked like Potter. The eyes and nose certainly came from Lily.
Dumbledore went on. "I have heard that James felt you were his father as well. Many have commented on how he said that you too were parent to young Harry."
"But that will not hold up in court. With my being a Death Eater … there is no chance for my taking in the boy. You did right leaving him with those filthy Muggles." Severus dearly wished he could take the boy and make him his own, but he knew the world would not allow it.
Dumbledore had his annoying twinkle in his eyes. "Presently this is the case, but time can work situations into our favor. We need only wait for the ripening before making our move."
"That day will never come, sir." Severus gave up on ever having a family or falling in love again … Lily Evans-Potter would forever hold his heart. After his death, his family line would die with him.
The very thought of all that he lost tore at his heart. However, Dumbledore still had his own point of view. "Watch and see, Severus. For now, we had best be going to Horace's estate. You have much to accomplish before the end of the summer if you are to teach Potions at Hogwarts."
Severus did work hard, as that was all he had left. He was determined to make Lily proud of him every day. She would ask him to watch over her son, and he was going to keep himself in a position to do just that.
By the end of the summer, Severus tested far above all of the past Potions Masters in Hogwarts history except one – he was one point behind Salazar Slytherin himself. Slytherin was the premier Potions Master of his day and none had come so close to tying him. That was enough to give the Board of Hogwarts Directors no argument in placing Severus as a Potions Master and the Professor of Potions in the school. The same honor easily gave him the position of Head of House, though with a severe warning about further troubles with the law.
Fall of 1981, Severus took over his new potions. The night before the students were to arrive, he thought about what a mere decade would soon bring him. Her son … the boy who might have been his own. However, allowing himself to long for the boy as his own would put Harry in danger. He could not let the boy care about him. It would cost Potter his life to do so. That left Severus one choice; make the child hate him.
From his first class on, Severus was cold, calculating, biased, and everything that Harry met that first day of Potions. Severus was judging the way the Muggles had raised the boy the moment the first years arrived on–as expected woefully under skilled in everything. It was not surprising that the Headmaster had reported of having to send Hagrid to fetch the child.
Yes, there before him was in face James Potter made over as he had expected, but Lily's eyes and nose made the difference. Harry stood there underfed, far smaller compared with any of his classmates, and so withdrawn. What Severus wouldn't have done to make the boy his own child and make life better for the boy. A dream he would never have.
When he heard of Malfoy getting Potter on the Gryffindor team a year early, Severus lodged his expected protests, but inside he had never been more proud. The youngest seeker in a century … maybe some of himself had somehow rubbed off onto the boy indirectly—though Severus could imagine how. Yet, the boy hadn't learned not to judge people on appearances.
Halloween was a fiasco. Severus knew that Quirrell was up to something, he just couldn't understand what. Moreover, why was it that his nearly faded Dark Mark would burn near the man? He was able to stop the stupid DADA teacher, but only to get bitten in the process. Then he found that the boy had taken on a mountain troll like a Muggle! What was the boy thinking? Harry should have known that he had a wand for magic not retrieving Troll bogies! It was so apparent that Ms. Granger was lying to cover for Harry and his Weasley friend.
Severus remembered his first match the next morning as he dressed for breakfast. When he walked up the isle to the staff table, the Potions Master saw that Harry was nervous about the match as he once had been. That was why he had encouraged the boy. Nothing more. Then to watch as the child that morning as an unknown attacker nearly killed Harry by a curse. Severus gathered his wits fast and began to chant very quickly the most powerful counter-curse that he knew while strengthening his shields. None could know how Severus Snape looked at Potter's boy like his own child. This action was enough to block Harry from even more serious danger. Severus heard the girl's whisper, but never knew that she blamed him for trying to kill Harry until later when the trio was plotting in the Hallway. Of all the places to plot! It was a good thing that the Sorting Hat had not put the three of them into Slytherin.
If only he had known then it had been the Dark Lord! After the incident in the dungeons, Severus wondered how he could keep the boy from killing himself. All night he sat at Harry's bedside, beneath his own invisibility cloak. The rhythmic rise and fall of the boy's chest relieved Severus' nerves. The child survived and was kissed in the morning as Poppy came in to check on her patient. This was only a reason to leave Severus reminded himself.
Second year, Harry seemed to have taken in his lesson about judging by appearances well … though the boy could have tutored his little know-it-all friend on the subject. Lockhart was lucky that Severus hadn't killed him 'accidentally' in that duel. Then Harry spoke in Parseltongue! A trait that was rarely found in the Wizarding World and NOT in Potter's family line, nor did it hide in Lily's family. Merlin! Lily … she acted like … and in womb Harry … could Severus have relinquished his love and son?
The meeting with the Headmaster afterwards did not go as Severus thought. Yes, the Old Man's reasoning was sound. The ability might have transferred through the curse into Harry. However, then again, he had said that the Sorting Hat had wanted to place Harry in Slytherin at first. Harry's bad run in with Draco Malfoy and the fear of everyone expecting him to be as evil as the Dark Lord had been were sound reasons to request not being in Slytherin. It didn't make it any easier to know that he had lost so talented and powerful a student to Gryffindor. Then, the Headmaster asked Severus to agree to the paternity test. No, it was better never to eliminate him as Harry's father and his dreams.
Third year he had never been angrier with James Potter than he had been with Harry! How could he have betrayed Lily's memory so? Severus was not sure how Harry helped Black to escape, but he was sure that was what had happened. It wasn't until Severus ran into Pettigrew that he realized he had come close to destroying his old nemesis pointlessly. Using Legilimens covertly, Severus gleaned the true story of Halloween 1980 and felt his stomach turn. Nevertheless, before he could discern why Pettigrew had joined the Death Eaters, the Dark Lord expedited the meeting to its conclusion and since the little rat always remained close to the Dark Lord.
Fourth year. Severus knew that Harry hadn't placed his name into the goblet. However, when the truth came out, it was worse than any scenario Severus' mind created. Even before Harry told the truth, Severus already knew the truth—THE DARK LORD HAD RETURNED TO FULL POWER!
Fifth year, Severus barely hid away his jealousy of Black. Harry was so happy to be back with the mutt. If only … no he wouldn't think of that. Severus remembered how angry he had become when Harry looked in his memories hidden within the pensive. It was a lucky thing that the boy had went in on the day fifth year that he had. Any sooner or later than that day and the secret would have been let loose. Severus was certain that Harry would have demanded the paternity test—dream shattered or … no, there was no chance that his dream was true! He was proud of Harry's not complaining about Umbridge's foul treatment, and asking for special privileges. Severus only wished that Harry had trusted him a little. Maybe then, the boy's Godfather would have survived.
Severus sighed and shook his head. So many 'if onlys' filled his mind as he repacked the box, just as they had the last time he divulged his heart's need to remember. Just as Severus had the box safely stored in his bags, the fireplace activated—meaning that someone wanted to talk to him. Only the Headmaster knew that he was still in the school.
"You are lucky, sir. I was nearly packed."
The look on the old man's face truly showed his years. "Severus, I need you in my office immediately. It is about Harry."
The floating head disappeared, but the portal remained opened. The Headmaster had not been kidding on promptness of Severus' arrival. Severus sighed and shook his head. "Can't that boy keep himself out of trouble for a single summer?"
I do not know why the site has ruined most of my chapters. For the sake of my readers, I am re-writing all of them and cutting them down in length incase that is the problem. As you can see also chapters 1 and 2 are switched. Please tell me how you like the new editions. I have also had to fix grammatical rrors, if you find any other typos please alert me.
QUESTION:
If, and this is a big if, I bring back James and Lily Potter, how would my readers like to see this played out? Triad marriage or James dying again?