Again, extreme emoness awaits! Listening to epic music is strongly recommended!
I do not own Heroes of Olympus (Rick Riordan) or For Those Who Wait (Fireflight)
Anne's POV
As soon as the bunker door closed, I sank down to the ground with tears flooding from my eyes. I didn't even try to comfort myself, I just sat on the cold floor and let the tears flow. My body wracked with sobs that echoed into the cold stillness of the bunker.
I didn't care if anyone found me. I didn't care who heard me. I just kept crying, kept letting all my emotions find a voice. My tears dripped one by one to the floor, reminding me of whenever I'd cried in California. Diamond, my loving, faithful Diamond, had stood with me patiently for as long as I needed, letting my tears saturate his mane and neck.
I needed someone like him now. I needed something solid to lean on. But all I had was a cold cement floor and walls that echoed my cries back to me.
My tears began to slow until at last they stopped. I just sat there, feeling raw inside, like a knife blade had scraped across my skin.
It was going to end.
The laughter, the smiles, the running through the forest and sitting by the lake. Watching the sun glint off his hair, feeling the brush of his lips on my skin, melting at the affection for him that flickered in my heart like a flame. It would end.
How long did I think this would last? I asked myself sharply. I didn't think Leo would be with me forever and always, did I?
A small voice said, you'd hoped.
That hadn't helped me any. I'd befriended Leo knowing he was part of the second Great Prophecy. That hadn't mattered to me. Now I wished I'd been smarter. I wished I'd been more logical. Think, you idiot! What did you think he was building a flying ship for? He was going to leave. You just didn't open your eyes to the facts.
"But he promised," I muttered angrily to myself. "He promised he would come back. I believe him."
Leo had never lied to me. But what good was his word against that of the Fates themselves? What if Leo was destined to go on this quest and never return?
I realized something. He'd said he'd see me again. He never said things wouldn't change. What if he met another girl on the quest and decided to replace me? Especially a guy rumored to fall in love with every girl he met.
What if I was nothing more than a pawn of his mercurial emotions? Had I been the only girl stupid enough to love him back?
I'd had enough crying. I burst through the door of Bunker Nine and took off at a full sprint in the direction of the woods. Maybe if I ran fast enough, I could outrun all the hurt that hung around me like a choking gray fog.
I ran out of breath some time later, I didn't know when or where I was, but I really didn't care. I hadn't outrun the hurt. It was still with me.
Tired and breathless, I sat down and leaned against a boulder. When I'd caught my breath, I listened for the babbling of the creek. It was close by. I got to my feet and walked in that direction until I caught sight of the ribbon of water snaking through the trees. I trudged to the edge, knelt, and scooped up some water with my hands. I threw it over my head and almost instantly felt invigorated. As my hair dripped water down my face, the hurt changed from grief into angry defiance. I didn't even really know who I was angry at, but it wasn't Leo. It was myself more than anything. When did I become so illogical? When did I become this maniac person who didn't trust her own boyfriend?
You're just figuring out how to deal with all this emotion, I told myself. There's nowhere you need to be right now, so just take a minute to figure yourself out. You're a mess.
"Okay," I said aloud. My own voice, hoarse from crying, made me jump slightly. I kept talking, trying to reassure myself.
"So he's leaving," I began. "But he's going off to war, not to a party! When's he going to find the time to meet another girl?"
My annoying inner voice tried to argue with me, but I kicked it away and kept thinking. The night in the woods…he said that that kiss was his first. Would he toss me aside after he gave me his first kiss and I gave him mine? My gut told me no. Didn't I trust Leo? Of course I did.
"What in Hades am I so upset about?" I exclaimed, angry now. "I'm busy worrying about whether or not Leo will leave me for another girl, when I should be worrying about whether or not he'll come back alive!" I scratched my fingernails across my arm, which I know makes me sound completely emo, but I couldn't help it. I was really angry at myself.
"Remember Penelope!" I hissed at myself. "She waited twenty long years for Odysseus to return, and she knew he wouldn't betray her! She trusted him! She waited as long as it took, and it paid off in the end; she got her husband returned to her."
I clenched my jaw, determined. "Well, I'm gonna wait forty years, if that's how long it'll take Leo to come back safe and sound. 'Just know there is a purpose for those who wait'," I said, quoting a song by Fireflight.
Suddenly I had an urge to sing, and this seemed like as appropriate a song as any. I had no qualms about screaming a song into the forest; I wasn't ashamed of my voice, as a daughter of Apollo.
"This is for those who wait…
Another day, another waiting game
A little different but it's still the same
I am here but where's the one I'm longing for?
I'm having trouble, feeling all alone
Will my heart ever find a home?
I want to hope but sometimes I just don't know
I know I'm not the only one…
So we sing a lullaby
To the lonely hearts tonight
Let it set your heart on fire
Let it set you free
When you're fighting to believe
In a love that you can't see
Just know there is a purpose
For those who wait
The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference…
So we sing a lullaby
To the lonely hearts tonight
Let it set your heart on fire
Let it set you free
When you're fighting to believe
In a love that you can't see
Just know there is a purpose
For those who wait!"
The sound seemed to echo into the darkening forest as I sang the last line. I let the last word trail away, my voice resonating into the trees. I waited for one heartbeat, two, then three. I got to my feet. As usual, music had made me feel a lot better, especially a song that really related to me at the moment.
I began to walk back through the trees, back in the direction of the cabins. It was beginning to get dark. I could catch up to Leo at the bonfire and ask him when they would leave. I would make sure this precious time I had left with him would be spent well.