AU:
Awkward chapter x) I enjoyed writing this :P enjoy!

CHAPTER 3

"Mike,"

"Yeah?"

"Can you set me up with a blind date?"

"Why?"

"Please. Tonight, at 7 in the Criterion."

"Fine, I'll try, but it is a bit last minute, so don't hold your breath."

"Cheers." John hung up his mobile and chucked it onto his bed. He was in a really shit mood. A restless sleep filled with the images of Sherlock wearing only a towel had left John with one thought, "I really need to get laid."

As he exited the room he saw a yawning Sherlock with unkempt hair, staring off into the distance. His buttons were one out at the top, and his eyes were only half open; his sleep couldn't have been any better. "Bad sleep?" He asked, trying to strike up a conversation,

"I guess you could say that," he responded, snapping out of his trance and returning to his newspaper. Would John ever be able to sustain a proper conversation with this languid guy?

Even after his 'investigation', John knew very little of Sherlock Holmes, except that he had the most peculiar range of knowledge. He had a vast understanding of the most peculiar things, but knew very little of what seemed like common sense to John - like how the earth went around the sun.

"I couldn't care less if we went round the sun, the moon or round and round the garden like a teddy bear!" Sherlock yelled in response, agitated, "I only remember what is useful, not 'Who is dating who' or any other nonsense like that. It has no use to me."

Aha, a clue.

Knowledge of pop culture: None
Knowledge of astronomy: None
Knowledge of philosophy: None
Knowledge of politics: Feeble
Knowledge of toxicology: Assuming its vast - does a lot of research on it
Knowledge of anatomy: Quite good - not very systematic
Knowledge of botany: Nothing practical
Knowledge of general chemistry: Very profound
Knowledge of law: Fair

Doesn't seem to be that athletic - Plays violin

Forensics maybe, Law? - Too lazy.

"Lazy? That's not very nice." Sherlock said with a smirk on his face as he peered over the investigative roommate, who jolted at his suprise appearance, "You could just ask."

"Yeah, but you hardly ever talk," John sighed and asked anyway, "So, what is it that you're studying?"

"Pathology." Pathology? Why would he need law or botany for that? Nevertheless, John was happy that he finally learned something about him. "Wanna eat out tonight? There's a great chinese down the road." Sherlock asked him,

"Sorry, I've got a date tonight." John felt slightly disappointed that he had to pass up this rare invitation,

"A date?" Sherlock irked,

"Yeah, you know when two people who really like each other go out and do something fun."

"That's what I was suggesting."

"It's not quite the same, anyway Mike is setting me up with someone." His phone rang from his bedroom, and he quickly checked his texts before continuing, "Ooh, someone called Jamie." A grin grew on his face as anticipation grew from within him.

John had waited for his date for 15 minutes, re-reading his text for the hundredth time:

I'll meet you outside, I'll be wearing a red corsage :)
Mike's told me all about you, I can't wait 3 xx

"A red corsage? How old school." He chuckled to himself as he tried to picture what his date would look like. Suddenly, from the distance, a red corsage hit his eye and he examined his date-to-be: Blonde hair, green eyes, pale skin, shorter than him, thin... male. Shit.

Jamie approached him with a kind smile, making John's heart sink as he decided how he'd break the news. It was several hours into of the evening, and John was still squirming in his seat at every advance the male threw at him. "SHIT. How am I supposed to do this." He thought to himself in a panic, when suddenly there was an outburst from his date,

"You hate me!" He said, with his face buried into his hands, John patted the poor guy's shoulder to comfort him as he finally broke the news,

"It's not that..." he looked away, gathering up his courage, "I'm just... not gay." Jamie looked at him in shock and embarrasment,

"I'm so so sorry!" Jamie's face turned a very bright shade of red, and the two swiftlly settled the evening - with John paying of course.

Waving good bye to his 'date' as he entered the taxi, John rang his friend in a fury, "What the hell was that Mike?"

"Not your type?"

"Not my ty- OF COURSE NOT."

"Oh, why not? He was shorter than you n' all!"

"I'M NOT GAY! Goddammit Mike, I've known you for years, how could you think I was gay?"

"Your roommate told me."

"Sherlock?" John built up with rage as he stormed off to confront his meddling roommate.