This... Is unusually short compared to the other chapters of this fic.
I didn't wanna start the mini game with the black hammer quite yet though and putting another break would be too much. I promise the next one will be longer though! !
And, I am very excited to say the name-your-halberd contest/poll will be closing very soon and I'll write in who won! ! ! I hope you're as stoked as I am!
Also... I may or may not post a human Darksiders ficlet inspired by some tumblr post later so if any of you are interested... It's got Strife. Because I love him.
You lied. Oh, god, did you lie when you said 'it'll be fine'.
That noise the fan makes is going to make your ears bleed. It's just so loud and abrasive and...
You are being carried.
"War." You say tersely, hands still clamped over your ears. The Horseman, at least, seems completely unaffected by the horrible sound. He must have super strong ear drums or something because this is the second time this has happened.
You try not to make a face as he just shrugs, carrying you out of the room and down the hall. He only sets you down when the demons appear, and without the coordination necessary to help him with your head ringing like it is, you just skirt around the edges while he slaughters them.
He doesn't even try to scoop you up again, although you reach up to white-knuckle his pauldron after he breaks open the chest. It's just... Comforting to you, for whatever reason.
"You've gotta do some swimming." You say conversationally.
"And what of you?" He huffs, eyes narrowing as the tunnel system blends into lush greenery and then towering stone walls. You smile.
"Hopefully I can just admire the view." You have to admit, the harsh sunlight is a welcome sight after the week you've had though. "There's a chest in the Shadow Realm, by the way."
His bright eyes narrow. "More Shadow Realm?"
You raise your eyebrows, "You don't like the Shadow Realm? That's... Not good. Considering that's where the Armageddon blades pieces are hidden. That'll be a real pain..."
For the first time since you met War, your chain begins to burn.
Of course, your first reaction is to go completely rigid and hiss, "What the fuck!?"
War falls silent, and you know he's giving you a very confused look while you yank your shirt up over the chain. Sure enough, the skin is already starting to turn red. "Ow, ow, ow." You whine, scowling.
"What... Did you do?" War asks, more confused than you've ever heard him.
You flinch when Shadow answers, having not noticed its appearance. "Even the Advisor has some limitations. It seems you've been a little too chatty." It laughs.
Oh, goodness do you want to shoot the Watcher.
You grind your teeth and ignore it though, instead pulling your shirt back down over the fresh burns and nodding at War. "Lets go. I can put burn stuff on it when you do the Shadow Realm. And maybe chat with Vulgrim."
His bright eyes narrow, but he doesn't contest your instructions. "Vulgrim is nearby?"
"Vulgrim is always nearby. He's like... Constantly tailing us, just waiting for you to get him more souls. You'd think he could just get his own with all the traveling he does." You distract yourself from the pain by talking.
"He's busy swindling others." War shrugs. He moves one hand towards you, and for a second you swear he's going to offer to carry you and your heart does a flip, but demons begin rising out of the ground and the moment is lost.
Fucking demons. Your lips pull back in annoyance, pulling your halberd off your back in one smooth motion. You bring it down on the nearest demon with all your strength, and it howls in pain. A shame you can't kill them in one hit. Although... That is a little ambitious given you're human and all.
And injured, as your waist is so happy to remind you.
Thankfully it doesn't take War long to steal your fight, and he makes very quick work of the demon.
You wince as you set the weapon down. "So..."
War raises his eyebrow.
You just shrug and continue down the winding path. It's nice that you can completely avoid the water. Well, you can. War certainly can't, and the way he's eyeing the ledge, you get the feeling he wouldn't want to anyway.
"Are you gonna jump then or? Because there's treasure down there." You chirp helpfully, pausing to stare at him.
You have to admit his conflicted expression is pretty darn cute.
Finally he seems to make a decision, and nods for you to continue. "Be careful."
"Always." You respond breezily. One hand moves to your gun, just in case.
Thankfully the only thing in between you and the next gate keeper is a flock of crows, which you toss a few scraps of food at. They seem to pleased, you think. You get an incomfortable pang in your chest though, remembering Dust. He always pecked at your cheek when you fed him, and you're almost certain that's the crow approximation of a kiss. It was cute, if not a bit painful.
Definelty not as painful as your waist currently is though.
You set down your temporary camp near the gate and on the edge of the little stream thing, immediately yanking off your shirt (you figure there's really no need for modesty at this point) and setting to slather burn heal on your injury.
After a few seconds of pawing through your backpack, you become a little worried though. Fury did remember burn heal, right? She couldn't have just forgotten.
You distinctly remember her saying to use it first thing after a burn, to help prevent further scarring.
Biting down on your lip, you start taking out everything and setting them neatly off to the side. It's gotta be here. Fury wouldn't...
"What the hell?" You pluck the rather large object (wrapped meticulously in pale green paper) from the very bottom of your backpack.
So that's why Fury grabbed my bag for me, you realize abruptly. It had struck you as odd at the time, but Fury is always sending people secretive looks. It's sort of her thing. So this must be a gift then, huh?
You tear into the paper, smiling excitedly.
Your smile quickly turns to a confused pout though, twisting the gift around this way and that. "Is this..."
A Polaroid?
Where the hell did they get a Polaroid camera?
Something in the paper catches your eye, and you set the gift off to the side to read the small note. Thankfully your frantic tearing didn't damage it.
Fury's spiky handwriting greets you, although further down the page you see Strife's over the top calligraphy (which you're almost certain developed to irritate Death, because Strife has never struck you as someone who takes the time to add curls to his g's).
The Watcher's found this a few weeks ago, but after learning its purpose I decided it was more suited for your journey than our Realm. Make sure to document your quest for the others and I!
Strife writes and progeny between the margins and you snort in amusement.
There's more film in one the the pockets, I'm sure you can find it. You probably won't need it, but I felt it best to be prepared. The Watchers claim this type of camera is sturdier than 'modern' varieties, but that is not an excuse to be reckless.
Strife interrupts again, although this time it looks like Fury simply handed him the paper: not that you need a reminder to be careful, right, little one? You're the most cautious thing on Earth.
Apparently sarcastic scripture runs in the family. Fricken Horsemen.
Fury steals the paper back and finishes, We wish you the best, and know we're thinking of you. (Especially Strife because he lo-
The line goes flying off the page, and you picture Strife furiously tearing it out of her hands. You press you lips together in an attempt to stop yourself from smiling.
Nerds, you think, picking the camera back up. You've only handled one of these like... once, but it seems fairly simple. You hold it up and smile, hoping the angle isn't too wonky.
It occurs to you as you wave the picture around you're still shirtless, and gosh, do you hope that doesn't shove up in the photo. That would be fun to explain. Strife would have a field day.
You pull on your shirt while you try to come up with a hypothetical explanation, your burns completely forgotten.
When War returns from his treasure hunt, you've taken at least ten photos of yourself and the surrounding area, and he looks awfully confused by how excited you are. "War! War, War, War, come here! I gotta get a picture of us both together."
You press close to the Horseman, smiling and laughing gleefully. "Smile!"
"Why?" War looks confused when you glance up at him, one eyebrow raised curiously.
You snap the picture.
You make sure War is around to 'summon' Vulgrim before he sets off to break the seals for the gate, although you're careful not to mention you literally cannot summon him on your own. That might give Shadow an edge you don't him it to have.
"Here!" You tell Vulgrim as soon as War is out of hearing distance, holding out your most recent letter. If it can really be called that. It's mostly just photos that you strung together with one of the ribbons Fury packed (she is 100% against you cutting your own hair on this journey, and threw those in for if it gets in the way).
The demon seems startled by your forwardness, laughing as he takes the offered letter. "And what is this? A family photo album?" He asks, flipping through.
The part of you that still retains a giant crush on the red rider immediately jumps to marrying into the family, picturing a cutesy domestic scene with War. Unrealistic, yes, but nonetheless enough to make your heart get all fluttery. Oh goodness.
Vulgrim seems to notice too, his grin widening. "Hit the nail of the head, did I?"
You blush furiously, "No! I just figured Death would wanna see War. You know, outside of the apocalypse." You try to play it off.
His voice is singsong as he responds, "He's going to see how lovesick you look, human."
"Lovesick? I do not!" You reply hotly, folding your arms across your chest.
Vulgrim holds up a picture of you and War, one of the many you'd snapped before he spoke with the gate. War doesn't appreciate your enthusiasm, but he also didn't complain when you practically crawled into his lap to get a good selfie.
"Look at that. You're starstruck and he's scowling." Vulgrim says airily.
"He's, like, always scowling though. I think that's just his face." You say, tilting your face away from the incriminating photo.
Vulgrim snorts in amusement, "Ahhh, I miss humanity. You're so interesting. Who in their right mind falls for a Horseman?"
You're sorta wondering the same thing.
You fall silent as Vulgrim continues to flip through your photos, occasionally making remarks on your photography skills (which are nonexistent, unfortunately). Are you falling for the Horseman?
On one hand, it seems like the obvious answer is yes, you've always loved War, ever since playing Darksiders. But on the other, you've only loved War the character. Not the living, breathing person with you now, who may or may not hesitantly view you as a friend.
But, even with that distinction, there is no doubt you still foster a huge crush on him. Whether it is or will grow to be love is completely up in the air at this point.
Oh gosh. You think dismally. Oh, gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh.
You wish more fiercely than ever that you could contact the other two Horsemen. Surely one of them would know what to do, right? Strife, at least, could distract you from your mushy romantic feelings, and you're sure Fury would have some good advice on how to go about 'courting' War.
Not that you plan to court him.
Well.
Maybe not right now?
"Ugh." You groan, hiding your face behind your hands.
"Is the third kingdom crumbling?" Vulgrim teases.
You gape at him. "That was rude as fuck."
"Oh, please. What do you expect, I am a demon." He laughs, moving to pat the top of your head condescendingly. "Now, you must cheer up before your Horseman returns, human. He won't be in a buying mood if he sees you so sour."
"That's a real motivator." You snap, dripping with sarcasm.
"Indeed." He agrees as if you were sincere, and you don't have to look up to know he's got that infuriating smile on his face. God damn demons. Always trying to start something.
As you turn away from the merchant, you hear the tell tale sounds of the gate beginning its departure. You also feel it, forcing you to pull your halberd off your back to lean on.
You wave when War makes it around the bend, his expression neutral as ever. "Ready to go?" You chirp.
"Yes. You talked to Vulgrim, I assume?" He means to ask if Death wrote back, you know.
Shaking your head, you shrug. "Yeah, but no reply. He's got things to do I guess. Apparently he's almost finished." Your knowledge of his timeline ends somewhere in Lostlight, but you know he apparently visits earth sometime after that, talks to Lilith, and then... You don't wanna think about that.
War narrows his eyes, "What troubles you?"
"Nothing! I mean," Your hands move to your waist, brushing the warm metal of your chain. "Nothing I can tell you, at least. And I already know its going to be resolved and I shouldn't worry about things that practically fix themselves but I just..."
The Horseman just shakes his head, moving to scoop you up. "Lets go."
"I can walk." You huff.
"But you cannot swim." He must've looked ahead before coming to retrieve you. Huh.
You just roll your eyes. "I can totally swim. Not as well as you can, admittedly. I'm more of pool party kind of swimmer."
War gives you a strange look, muttering something in that nephilim language.
You should really ask about that later. Request lessons or something. You know the first thing Strife would teach you are curses. You smile at the thought.