I was gonna post this like four hours ago but homestuck upd8d and I'm trash so. I can't believe in the year of 2016 homestuck is still able to make me cry.
Im a mess
It took me ten years to write this because I couldn't figure out a good way to do the fight. protag is seven shades of fucked at the moment but I wanted it to be dramatic! ! I live for drama! and angst ;3c but mostly drama!
so I ended up rewriting this like four times and now I've just... Decided this is good enough. maybe someday I'll have a better idea of how to do it but rn protag is tired and injured and I wanted to portray that accurately.
I tried my best friendo.
But anyway! ! ! !
get hyped! ! !
We're nearing the End.
He did. He said the L-word.
You relish in that as you settle down for your nap, and if War notices the brilliant smile you can't seem to get off your face (which you're sure he does) he has the decency not to hold it against you.
The headache makes your nap rather unpleasant and fitful, but you think War being so close makes up for it. You also think when this whole mission-quest-thing is over, you'll crash into your bed (or Strife's, if you're honest) and sleep for at least an entire twenty four hours.
And maybe War will join you.
You like that idea.
"So..." You start, not looking up from your backpack. It needs to be sorted one of these days, because there's more trash than actual food, but you don't really feel like putting Silitha off anymore. Maybe when you're back by Samael.
War tilts his head in your direction, waiting.
"Silitha was the first boss that killed me in game. I think. And by 'me' I mean you." How very meta.
"You are worried." He responds.
You roll your eyes, "I'm always worried. It's worse when I can't see you though. Like whenever you're out of my line of sight I'm constantly 'where the fuck is he? Is he okay? Am I okay?'"
War gifts you with a minuscule grin.
You can't think of anything else to say that's not overly touchy-feely, and instead settle for smiling. You grab your halberd and it buzzes excitedly, mimicking your contentedness. You can practically hear the cheerful "come on, come on, lets go murder!"
War helps you to your feet after you replace your backpack, eyes narrowing when you sway dizzily. "I'm fine." You assure him. "We've got a spider to kill. And if ChaosEater is half as anxious to do so as Fate, I don't know how you deal with it."
His lips twitch. "You become accustomed to it."
"In how many years, old man?" You taunt.
War's laugh is one of the best things you've ever heard, and you take no small amount of pride in being the one to make him laugh. It's rough, and half smothered being his general unwillingness to be laughing in the first place, but you love it.
Shadow rejoins the two of you as War yanks the door open and you get re-accustomed to using your oversized halberd like a crutch. Unlike your legs, it doesn't want to give out on you the moment you out weight on it. You wonder if maybe you're just injured in general, and slamming your head against the floor was just the straw that broke the camels back.
"Are you two done flirting?" The Watcher hisses, its eyes narrowing as it takes in your state. "You couldn't have picked a better time, Glitch?" It doesn't make any moves to actually help, but it does brush the hair out of your face. You only just now notice the color's changed with dried blood. Gross.
You can't help but be a little snarky, saying with obviously fake confusion, "You say that as if I haven't been flirting with you this entire time."
If it had the pupils to do so, you're pretty sure the Watcher'd be rolling its eyes. "You're incorrigible."
War is (surprisingly gently) pushing you into the next room before you can come up with a good response, his near perpetual scowl back in place. You don't even need him to say it to know he's wondering what the hell is up with you and the Watcher's relationship. You doubt he's familiar with the term frenemies anyway.
The Watcher returns to its gauntlet when the barriers go up, while you hobble over to the corner of the room and get your gun out.
War seems considerably happier to slash the demons apart than he was to fret over you. Poor thing must be so worried by how very easily you're injured. You guess its good he's at least quiet about his worries. Fury and Strife, on the other hand...
You press your hand to the bump on your head, knowing they'd both be demanding you not even leave your bed until it heals. Fury less aggressively so, but still. You know that's not really a luxury you and War have though. The Destroyer knows you're coming for him and allowing the demons to get organized isn't something you'd like. Or survive.
But speaking of the others, maybe you'll have to push your nap back a little. You'd like to get reacquainted with them (or maybe you'll just throw your arms around them and cry like a sentimental frick) before totally crashing.
War seems confused when the fight's over, and you make a face in return. "What?"
"Why are you smiling?"
"Because I miss your siblings." You answer. "Like on a scale of one to ten, my homesickness is a seventeen."
"You've not even been gone a year." He says.
"Dude." You give him your best deadpan expression. "I'm human. How long do you think we live exactly? A year is a pretty significant amount of time."
That makes him pause, his scowl making a reappearance. "How long do you live?"
You shrug, "Don't worry about it."
As the two (or three, you guess) of you continue on, it's very obvious that War isn't taking you're advice to heart. He keeps sending you confused glares between skirmishes, teeth bared in annoyance.
You wonder, very briefly, if anyone besides yourself has ever thought to call that particular expression cute. Maybe Death, although obviously not in the same "I'd like to smush your cheeks and tell you how amazing you are" sense.
You doubt Death has ever explicitly called War 'amazing' honestly. He's not the verbally affectionate type. He is known to occasionally pat your head after training, not dissimilar to how he pets Dust.
You try not to let that irritate you.
"Does Death pat you?"
There's a beat of silence, War turning to face you with an utmost perplexed expression. "What?"
"Like, petting. He used to pet." You lean up on your tiptoes and stretch to pat War's cheek. "Death would pat my head. Only you're too tall so," You shrug.
"Oh." War says, blinking. "When I was much, much younger he'd try."
Well, that sounds ominous. "War, what did you do?" You deadpan.
The Horseman smirks. "Made it clear I didn't like being pet."
You can only imagine what younger War thought an appropriate warning was. He seems awfully amused when you slowly draw your hand back, but doesn't otherwise comment.
The way to Silitha is filled with a ridiculous amount of backtracking and you having to sit out while War takes care of the mini bosses. Not that you really mind missing out on fights with arachnids the size of your torso, but it does get pretty boring.
You bide the time by looking over the map War so graciously provided you with, trying to figure out whether or not you should follow him into Silitha's lair (you also tell War where to go next, but that's hardly new).
The protective and needy parts of you say yes, of course you should stay with him, but the more logical side wonders how you'll survive the floor giving out underneath you. Damn War and his flair for dramatics.
Also damn him for saying the L-word and continuing on like its no big deal.
If you weren't in the middle of something, you'd curl yourself up and loudly complain about that, but because you are, you let it slide. Just this once, you will allow him the L-word with no explanations.
If you're a little sharper with your directions than usual, neither the Watcher nor War make any note of it.
War is even more protective than usual, even when you feel strong enough to start helping. "Use your gun and be careful," He says, making sure you stay on the fringe of the battlefield as one of the mini bosses approaches.
You reply with a half hearted eye roll, part of you pleased he's warmed up so much. Beginning War wouldn't have cared. "I got it."
He doesn't appear to take that promise to heart, and several times you find yourself glaring at War while he steps in between you and the spider. How the hell are you supposed to shoot when there's a Horseman in your way?
And when he does allow you a Horseman-free shot, it's still obstructed by ChaosEater.
"Why are you like this." You mutter. It's not so much of a question as it is a lament. You'd bet your life savings (not that they're worth much at this point) that his siblings would be the exact same way if they were here. Overprotective losers.
Fragile human, a voice that sounds an awful lot like Death reminds you.
You ignore said voice in favor of sending War your most unamused glare when he finally kills the damn thing. He only responds with a confused head tilt (and you are still adamant a Horseman of the diddly dang Apocalypse should not be so cute).
"You kept blocking my shots." You hmph.
"And yet it is still dead." He responds.
It takes you a second to process War sassing you, and the Horseman looks very pleased by the angry blush sweeping your cheeks. "You're horrible." You grumble. "Horrible, horrible, horrible."
"You wound me." He says flatly.
"I'll show you wounded, mister blocking every single shot with either your body or ChaosEater." You threaten, tucking your gun away before you dutifully start leading the way again (War might want to carry you every where and the lovesick part of you might want that also, but your pride simply won't allow it).
"What a title."
Was that sarcasm? From War? You glance back at him with mock worry. "While you're doing a marvelous impression of Death, I'd like my War back, thank you."
His lips quirk, and you're unsure of whether its because of "my War" or the joke itself. He falls silent after that, and you fill that silence with nonessential tips about defeating Silitha that you remember from the game. Although, you doubt throwing beds at her from outside her aggro range will work in this scenario.
Being actually in a game is still very strange, if you're honest.
You just barely remember the chest that contains War's special item, and he scowls when you demand he turn around and go get it mid jump, but still does as requested.
He looks very confused when he grabs the item, bearing his teeth in annoyance. "How did this..."
"End up in what appears to be an inpatient housing facility that's crawling with abyssal spiders?" You finish with a shrug. "No idea. Honestly the idea that this desert used to be a city in the first place makes me uncomfortable."
How many people would be in a city of this size anyway? There's plenty of subway systems, which leans towards it being fairly large. A couple million?
War scoops you back up into his arms before you can really begin to feel the weight of that thought. You grab at his armor anxiously, although you really doubt he'd ever drop you.
But the swinging. Now that is a new shade of terrifying. While War takes to it like a fish to water, you're left dizzy and wondering, not for the first time, how the hell you got yourself into this mess.
War sets you back down as soon as he's able, and you gather your bearings as he smashes open the health chest. You fleetingly wish said health could heal you too. But then you remember those chests are demon produced and who the hell knows what kind of magic that is. Demons, while clever, aren't the most... Gentle of creatures in your experience.
But, they are still no where near as intimidating as War yanking the spider webbed door to Silitha's den. He lets you go in first, and if not for the fact he's snarling at Silitha, you'd probably make some offhanded comment on how surprisingly gentlemanly your Horseman is.
You pull your gun out again and, although you're sure War's sharp teethed grimace is much more frightening than your own, you give it your best shot.
"You honor me with your presence, Horsemen. There are so many stories about you... and your little human. The last of your kind," She croons, "how tragic."
Oh, shit.
You back step, pressing yourself against the newly restored webbing. It's tacky, but not so much you'd find it difficult to move.
Silitha moves with grace unbefitting of such a creature, making her way closer to War to hiss, "And you, Horseman, you've killed three of the Chosen. Taken their hearts. Disturbing."
You respect War's ability to keep a straight face because if her fangs were that close to you, you'd probably have a mild panic attack. She's freaky looking, okay? Shelob has nothing on Silitha.
"Is that why you have come? To slay the final Tower Guardian? To take my heart?" Her words drip with accusation. "Did Samael tell you how we came to bear his tainted blood? Why his accursed power beats within our breast?"
No, but I did. You huff silently, side stepping every time one of Silitha's legs come too close for comfort. You almost want to run back to War, but while that might make you feel safer, you know that's the most dangerous idea you've had yet.
"Our charge is to prevent Samael's return at any cost." She continues. "You may kill me and return to Samael with my heart, but in him you will find a greater threat than all the Chosen combined."
War grabs ChaosEater, and you internally wonder how the hell it remains sharp when he keeps shoving it into the ground like that. Your own hand moves to Fate, petting your beloved halberd. I'd never do that to you.
"I did not come for your counsel, Spider." War inadvertently interrupts your moment, his voice hard. "Or your stories."
Silitha flinches back as if she honestly expected War to give up because of a not so shocking reveal. War. He's literally named War and she thinks he'd leave peacefully.
You roll your eyes. That's like expecting Strife not to hold a grudge. They picked their names for a reason.
"My children will dance to the sound of your screams!" She curses.
The first phase of the fight is probably to hardest, considering how much she teleports around. She really loves trying to crush War. And yourself, although only once, and you're certain she was aiming for War anyway. He body checks you out of the way just in time, taking the blow himself.
If not for the tail bone cracking landing, you might've thought it was a kind gesture. But let it be known that having a Horseman slide tackle you out of harms way might just be more painful than the actual danger you escaped. That armor hurts.
You hiss in pain as you lift yourself back up, once again using Fate to keep yourself upright. What a good halberd. Once you're healed you'll be sure to use it even more than usual, to make up for this.
Now where the fuck is your gun?
You glance around widely as War continues his violent dance with Silitha. Strife is gonna be pissed if you lost your gun because of a spider.
Thankfully, your panic is for nothing. Your gun skidded under one of the mattressless cots Siliha keeps around (for aesthetic? Maybe? You can't imagine she has any use for them). You kick said cot away before scooping up your gun. It's covered in dust, but you quickly remedy that and get back to shooting Silitha's face.
Easy peasy.
Until she starts jumping from wall to wall and you're forced into the middle of the room to avoid her legs skewering you. Thankfully she doesn't seem to be aiming for you, obviously thinking War to be the greater threat. Which, you have to admit, is very true. A wounded human with a gun probably isn't the most intimidating for a twenty foot tall spider.
You try your best anyway.
Your arms are aching from holding the gun up so long by the time the two of you finally damage her enough to enter the third and final phase, and you quietly move back to your place at the fringe.
War seems to understand what he's meant to do almost immediately, although the Watcher still tries to boss him around a bit. "You have to find a way to get close!" It snaps.
You really have to have a talk with it about asking nicely. Or least asking civilly.
War hooks onto a bomb first try, and if you didn't know any better you'd say Silitha looks alarmed by this turn of events. Although its very hard to tell given her... Spidery-ness. Trying to read a spider's expression, even a huge, sentient, and apparently wise Spider's face, is very hard.
War's dramatic finisher move is just as impressive as you thought it would be, but once they plummet through the floor, you have a limited view and therefore can't appreciate it properly. And you're exhausted, so that might affect how excitable you are.
The light that's kept you safe this long doesn't slow down the drop between floors, but you are able to land somewhat gracefully on the floor below. You land on the side with the soldier artifact, which you grab without hesitation and shove into your bag.
"Hey, War!" You yell, leaning precariously over the edge to look down at the Horseman. "There's a chest up here."
War looks like he's going to respond, only for Shadow to start hissing about returning the final heart and Samael's potential betrayal.
What a pessimist.