Eve brought me and herself two plates of a nice smelling potato soup and assisted me in eating it. "What's with Philip and Daniel? Why are they here?" I asked curious. "They're best friends. Phil is about five years older than Dan, but they're inseparable. We're pretty close. Since Erwin and Levi didn't wanted to leave you alone they left them with you. And Dan is hurt anyways. He's got a digestive problem but takes medicine to get rid of it. They look after you and Fenris . Together with me" she explained. I took another spoon full of the potato soup. It smelled nice and tasted very good. "They must love children" I assumed and stopped eating. "They're so sweet and kind" Eve said dreamily. We continued to eat in silence. My thoughts trailed off to Levi and Petra. He was a mystery to me. A strange man with more mood swings than a girl in puberty. It seemed like Levi had a different relationship to each person. And Petra seemed like one of the closest ones to him. She obviously was jealous of me. The Levi squad wanted him all for their own. Even the straight guys like Gunther that Levi made part of his team. I assumed that Levi wasn't rude, but because everyone liked him he begun being rude to keep the people away from him. This didn't work with his squad. They were resistant against his rudeness. They loved his behaviour. Maybe Petra fell in love with his distant acting. But with me his rude behaviour worked. I was afraid of that man. He made me curious, he pushed me away and I was hurt. It was like the weather. It was always either good or bad, or you couldn't stand it. And currently it was good weather. But he wasn't with me and if I was unlucky, he would never return. "Eve?" someone asked at the door. "Hey Dan. Come in" Eve greeted the cadet. He entered the room. The cadet was tall, had curly brown hair and big brown puppy dog eyes. "I'm Dan. I'm glad you're awake. We were worried about you" he introduced him and gave me his hand. I took it, but was still too weak to shake it. "I hope you will never try this again. Fenris asked a lot about what you have done. We explained to him, that you were sick and sad because Levi had to go away for work" he explained. Then he blushed and looked to the ground. "We said daddy instead of Levi. And we called you mommy" he said. "That's okay. Can I see him? Where is he?" I asked. "He's asleep. Phil brought him to bed and fell asleep too. Can I have some of this soul too?" he asked. Eve brought him a plate and spoon. "I hope it tastes well. You and Phil are better cooks" Eve warned him. "I think it's very good. You can cook Eve" I tried to cheer her up. "But I wasn't able to save you. I didn't knew what state you were in. I could have done much more. But instead I always watched and did nothing. And then I ran away in fear it could be my fault you're killing yourself. But now I've the chance to help and again I'm just watching. You're already skinny and now you're cutting yourself" she shouted. "It was never your fault. It was always my father. It was always that bastard. He hurt me and I got skinny as a silent protest against his abuse. He's a grown man and you were a small girl. There's nothing you could have done" I explained. Eve looked at me. "At least I could have tried something. Eren saved Mikasa on his own, he killed a grown man and he was nothing but a child. I could have tried something at least" she growled. "No, Sunniva is right. You couldn't have done a thing. But you can help her recover. That's much better than killing anyone" Dan explained. We finished our soup in silence and decided to go to sleep afterwards. Even though I slept a lot I fell into a dreamless sleep. I was glad I didn't dream of Levi disappearing or anything else.
"Sun, wake up" someone whispered and shook my shoulder. I groaned and turned away "Wake up already" he said a bit angry. So I turned back and faced the man, slowly opening my eyes. The man had black hair and I recognised his facial features. "Phil?" I asked sleepy. "There's someone at the door. Looking for Fenris and a girl named Shura. Shura Roxanna Anushka Fenriz-Kupin, to be exact. You're her, right. The one who's watching over Fenris and the people at the door are looking for. Right?" he asked. He was very clever, figuring that out. "Yes. Bring Fenris to me. We'll hide and run away. Tell Eve to hide Grisha and Juno. They'll be silent if she tells them to be. Who's answering the door?" I asked. "Dan. He told them that he's alone together with me and Eve" Phil said. Then he ran off. I stood up and started to get dressed. The trousers and shirt Levi gave me, the boots my mother once owned. I put my hair into a bun and closed the belt of the trousers. Phil took a while but he came back with Fenris sleeping. I took the boy and smiled sadly at Phil. He was so nice. "I'll hide in the forest. Come looking for me when they're away" I said and left the room. I carried Fenris downstairs and left house through the back door. Eve waved at me, she stood behind a bush. "Phil already told me what to do and so I rushed to get The horses ready. Now, run" she whispered. Then she ran back to the castle. I sat Fenris on Grisha and wrapped a few strings around him so he sat safe in the saddle. Then I mounted Juno and rode off.
I hoped no one heard us. I was all alone in the dark forest. With no direction we rode through the dark. Grisha showed the way. He didn't slow down, he took the way that was best for us and stopped on a small clearing. I hopped to the ground, took a blanket and laid it under a low tree and took Fenris and rested him under the low tree. The leaves hid the small spot where Fenris laid. Then I hid Grisha and Juno near to the place where Fenris laid. After that, I laid down next to the boy on the blanket. It was cold. I heard the nature around me. There was so much life in the night. An owl screeched. The wind howled in the trees. I heard a fox barking in the distance. Juno and Grisha were silent. They probably slept already. But I laid awake. My thoughts were racing. Why did they take so long to search for me? Who told them where to search? I was curious but to find it out I had to get caught. My heart beat like crazy. There was no way they could find me in the night. Tomorrow morning I should get up early and ride away. I turned around and hugged Fenris. I needed to save him. He mumbled something but didn't wake up. I closed my eyes and thought about Levi. It wasn't fair. Being so far away from him. Fearing for his life. And for my own. I remembered his voice, how afraid he was when he opened the door to my room. At that moment he wasn't able to hide his feelings behind a mask of uninterest and rudeness. He showed how much he cared for me and how important I really was to him. Petra and Gunther were wrong. He didn't belonged to anyone. He wanted to be part of our lives. He wanted to be part of my life. I feel asleep.
When I woke up in the morning, Fenris sat on my belly and laughed. "Oh boy, it's far too early" I mumbled. But I got up and folded the blanket. It was still gloomy and early. The sun still didn't show. Grisha and Juno stood nearby. "Let's go. We have to move on" I said and put Fenris back on Grisha's back. Then we were off again. I took the opposite direction of the headquarters of the Survey Corps. We rode a few hours until the sun showed up. It was about to be a beautiful day. But not for me. I feared. My father searched for me. Fenris was in danger. Levi wasn't with me. Erwin couldn't protect me. I was all alone in the middle of a forest I didn't knew. "Mama" Fenris said. "Just a bit more" I told him. I started sing children's songs to him, tell him stories and talked to him about several things. "You know papa is outside the wall? He's hunting titans. He kills them. He fights to keep us safe. Erwin is the leader" I explained. "He have to run away because a bad man is hunting us. He'll hurt us if he gets a hold on us" I told him. Time passed by slowly. I listened to the sounds around us. There were no people. No horses. No one. We were all alone.
Currently outside the walls
Levi couldn't focus. His mind was somewhere else. With Shura. The girl he was told to stay away from. She meant danger. Erwin knew it. He told him to keep away from her. The Kupin family was a bunch of rich assholes. They're called the Kupin Mafia where he's from. Illegal work and drugs were their business. Levi hated the head of the Kupin Mafia. No one else than Shura's father. The greatest asshole on earth. Levi clenched his fist and threw a dark glare to the sky. He would keep her safe. He wasn't able to save his squad and now everyone was dead. Died for no reason. "I'll fight for her. She won't die on me" he whispered. He opened his hands and looked at his palm. His nails left dark red marks in his skin. "Shit" he cursed. What was wrong with him? He never allowed himself to feel love. He hated love. It made people do awful things, go insane. Levi knew, everyone saw how much control he had. His own sanity made people have hope. As long as he kept his feelings under control he didn't had to worry. He left his feelings inside the wall. Together with her. The girl. Shura Roxanna Anushka Fenriz-Kupin. The daughter of the greatest asshole in the world. And he fell in love with her. He left her behind. He left her to save humanity. At least he thought he would. But no one could figure out how devastating this mission would end. And now, on their way back, all he could think of was that small girl. That helpless girl he left behind. "Corporal? Can I ask you something?" an cadet asked. "Yes cadet Olive?" he asked the redhead besides him. "You seem sad. I wanted to know if you're alright" the girl said. "I'm thinking about trainee Sunniva. I'm wondering if she woke up. Or if she's already dead. Like everyone else" Levi answered. There was no need in hiding the truth. "I'm so sorry for your lost, corporal" she said and pat his shoulder. The girl wasn't one of the cadets Levi knew. She was always with cadet Eve and she told him about her friend. That's why he recognised the cadet. "It's okay. I just don't want to suffer any more losses. The boy needs her" Levi shrugged her hand off. "Which boy?" Olive wondered. "Fenris. Erwin adopted him, but Sunniva was watching over him" Levi explained. Olive didn't knew a thing about it? He expected the news to be number one topic in the Survey Corps. "I'm sorry, I didn't know. I don't have many friends here. And I'm not from headquarters" Olive explained. That's why she was so surprised to hear all this. "So you're friends with Eve? Did you know Eve stayed behind to look after Sunniva. If you want you can join me on my way back to headquarters" Levi proposed. "That would be nice. I haven't seen her in a while" Olive smiled. Levi started to get into a better mood. He was sure Shura would be still alive. He knew she heard his words. Words he never wanted to speak. It was hard to admit that he fell in love, even though Erwin helped him. But speaking it out loud was the hardest thing he'd ever done. Shura had to be alive. He wanted to hug her and her the words from her. He didn't need a kiss. A hug was all he wanted. A hug and the three magical words. "Levi" Erwin asked. Levi answered with a growl. "Do you think Sunniva is alright?" his best friend asked. Levi turned his head to Erwin in surprise. "Why are you asking?" Levi asked. Did his friend had feelings for her? At least she was his fiancée. "I'm worried. She tried to kill herself. And she's my fiancee. Also, I know what you're feeling for her. I won't get in between you and her" Erwin explained. Levi nodded. "She should be alright. She's alive" Levi answered. Erwin still worried about Levi. The dark spark in his friend's grey eyes showed how much fear he has. How angry he is. "Don't worry Levi" Erwin mumbled and touched Levi on his arm. "Commander? I'll be joining Lance Corporal Levi on his way back to headquarters. Is it okay?" Olive asked. Erwin smiled at the girl. "He needs a little company. It's okay if you go with him, cadet Olive" Erwin allowed her. Unlike Levi, Erwin always knew the names of the cadet he was talking to. Levi showed not enough interest and forgot names easily. Erwin used to help Levi with remembering names. "Erwin. You're my best friend" Levi said. "Yes, I am. And I consider you my best friend" Erwin answered. "You told me what I was feeling before I knew it" Levi said. "I know what you want to say. And no. I won't let you go" Erwin insisted. He glared at Levi. "You're too strong for this" he said. Levi nodded. Erwin was right. Following Shura won't bring her back. It won't work for him. "I'm just too stubborn" Levi realised. He was useful for humanity. He saved thousands of people. It felt great, making a difference for the future of humanity. And his life finally changed, so there was no reason to end it because of a stupid girl. "I won't do it" Levi proposed. "Do what? What are you talking about? What does he feel? Corporal Levi, did you fall in love with trainee Sunniva?" asked Olive. "That's none of your business cadet Olive. Mind your own" Levi shouted. He didn't want to get angry at her. But the nearer they came to Wall Rose, the greater were his worries. "Calm down Levi. And cadet Olive? Mind your place. Our private life is none of your interests" Erwin told the girl. She nodded. Erwin mustered the girl. Her green eyes kept locked on the saddle on her horse. Levi looked at Erwin. Then at Olive. "Cadet. I'm sorry. I didn't wanted to shout at you" Levi excuses his behaviour. "No problem. I'm just worried about Eve though. She's very sensible" Olive explained. "You two are pretty close, right?" Erwin asked. "Oh yes. Very. She's my girlfriend" Olive said and laughed. Erwin smiled. "I'm happy that there's still so much love in this world" he said. Levi shook his head. "Feelings are a weakness" he stated. "But still you have it" Erwin pointed out
Back with Shura and Fenris
We paused at a small river. The horses needed food and water. And Fenris was hungry. I gave him some cookies and a cucumber. We rested for a bit and eventually fell asleep. I woke up when I heard horses. I rushed to pack our things, and get Fenris back on Grisha's back. "Faster. Faster Juno!" I sat up and screamed. "There she is. Follow her. Catch her!" a man behind me shouted. My father. Anush Kupin. Grisha rushed off and I let go of him. He would bring Fenris back, I hoped. But Juno wasn't as fast as Grisha. I wished I would wear the 3D maneuver gear. Then my escape could be easier. I pressed my feet in Junos sides. She sprinted away over a fallen tree, a bush, a river. We were fast. But the men catched up with me. Grisha was nowhere to be seen. So I turned around. "Don't come near me. I'm dangerous. I'm infected with a deadly virus!" I shouted. The men started laughing and came nearer. The last one to join was a figure I knew too well. "Shura. Just like that girl told me. You know, she told us where to find you. And how you changed your looks" Anush told me. "What was her name" I asked. Could it be? Has Eve told him? "Petra. I don't remember her last name" Anush said. "She's a bitch" I spat. "Don't use such language, young Lady" he growled. "Yeah? I should not? Well then I'm no lady. I'm trainee. For the Survey Corps. And if Erwin and Levi will find you, they'll destroy you" I shouted. "Levi? Ackermann? That asshole is worthless" Anush said. "Don't you dare to talk about him like that!" I screamed. Anger raised in me. "What? Why shouldn't I?" Anush asked. I was in rage. I didn't hear his intonation that should have told me to stop. I didn't hear anything. "He's nice. He's a good man. And I love him" I said. Then I realised what I had done. Now Anush wanted him dead. There was no other man than him that I was allowed to love.