This one is for Marykate who I know was really excited for this. I was planning on getting this out today anyway but…. Anyways, she's absolutely amazing and she has reviewed so many times, so thank you.
Thank you guys for ALL the reviews and PMs. You really are the best. I really wanted to get this chapter out before Hurricane Irene hits. My town will probably be involved so I don't exactly know when I can update next if the electricity goes out. Thank you once again and I'll try my best to update soon!
AN: I don't own anything.
The sun's rays peaked through the white curtains, casting over Camille and her friends. Camille was snuggled up against Logan who had his arms around her and his neck nuzzled into her neck. Her hair, courtesy of James, was now untangled and neatly put in a braid. Jo and Kendall were cuddled next to each other while James lay at their feet, all of them fast asleep. Stephanie had laid her head on Carlos' shoulder which is where it still laid.
It had been a week since Camille had woken up, since the police came to interrogate her. A week full of nightmares and crying. A week of hiding the trial from Camille. Logan had still not mustered up the courage to tell Camille about the trial. Though he still had time, he knew he couldn't hide it from her much longer. Their friends know, but they left it up to Logan to tell her.
There were three weeks left. Three weeks to tell Camille and prepare her for the trial. Three weeks until Camille had to face her "father" once again. They didn't even know how they themselves would handle it. They weren't sure if they would be able to restrain themselves from going up and beating up her "father" themselves.
Camille was always there. But, at the same time, she wasn't. She became more distant everyday. Sometimes, they would ask to watch a movie and she would simply shrug and not talk for hours, even after the movie was over. Sometimes, when they asked her if she wanted to eat, she would shrug or shake her head and lay down, eyes wide open. She would spend time everyday just simply staring into space. For Camille, that was unusual. Normally, she was a free-spirited girl who loved talking and was passionate about everything she cared about.
Her friends were starting to worry about her. This wasn't like Camille at all. In fact, they were having a hard time remembering the last time she laughed until she cried.
She would waking up screaming and crying every day. They missed the old Camille and they wanted to help her, but she refused their help. The most she let them do is comfort her from nightmares.
It had been three months since everything had happened. Three months. It had officially been three months since their group of friends had been struck with tragedy, three months since their group had changed.
The doctors had recommended some counselors and therapists to them, yet they refused to believe that Camille needed… help, especially in that form. But even though they didn't want to admit it, they were beginning to consider it. They thought it might help Camille to talk it out with professionals since she never did so with them. They hadn't mentioned it to Camille, though. They weren't sure how she was going to react and they didn't want to take the risk of asking her so soon. But, soon. As soon as she got worse, (as much as they were hoping she wouldn't), they would.
The sun rays hit the teenagers who are sprawled out in the room. They squint as they open their eyes. That is, all except Camille. She lays asleep and they're grateful. She hasn't gotten much sleep lately, a result of nightmares.
"Good morning," Kendall speaks up, expecting a response from someone, anyone.
"Good morning," Logan replies, rising from the hospital bed. They have been sleeping in the uncomfortable hospital room everyday. They don't care about the visiting hours and by now, the doctors and nurses have given up. It is uncomfortable, yes, but if it's for Camille, they'd do it any day. Mr. Adams, Mrs. Knight and Katie come visit everyday, never failing to bring at least a small smile on her face.
This is the first time in a week that they've woken up in their own, not because of Camille's sobbing. But, they speak too soon.
"NO! Don't come any closer, please. Leave me alone. I'm sorry!" Camille sobs in her sleep, sweat slowly starting to glisten her forehead. "Stop, please! Ahhhh!" she screams while sobbing, thrashing around in the hospital bed.
"Camille! Wake up." Logan gently shakes her shoulders but she doesn't respond.
"No, please. Get off of me!" Camille screeches, tears running down her cheeks freely.
"Should we call for a doctor?" Carlos asks.
Logan shakes his head and says, "Not yet, give her a minute. If she doesn't respond by then, we will."
Logan leans down into her ear and stars humming the tune to "Nothin Even Matters" while rubbing her back soothingly.
She visibly relaxes and cracks one eyes open, unsure, then the other one. When she sees all her friends' concerned faces, she sighs in relief and hugs them all.
She falls into Logan's arms, who instantly catches her.
"That was a bad one, Logan. I wish they would just stop." Camille tells him, her voice hoarse.
Logan nods sympathetically and leans down to kiss her tears away.
"Do you want to talk about it, love?" Logan asks as he pulls her impossibly closer.
Logan can feel her shake her head against his chest. "No, I'd rather forget about it." Logan sighs. He should've known that she wouldn't want to talk. But, she should. She should talk it out rather than bottling everything up inside.
He leans down and presses his lips to her hair and then tilts her head up so she's looking at him.
"What do you want to do today? Watch a movie? To get your mind off of things?" Logan asks, hoping for anything but a shrug. But, she does shrug.
"I guess, I'm-," she cut off when the nurse enters the room.
"Good morning, Camille! How are you today?" the nurse asks brightly. As much as they are thankful for her changing Camille's dressing, no one really likes her. It's not really her fault, though. She's just trying to be nice but she's always too cheerful. She doesn't understand what they're going through, but she doesn't need to be so happy all the time. Just like they're not. It seems like she's rubbing it in their faces, showing off her happiness, even though they know she doesn't mean to.
"I'm fine," Camille whispers, wiping away the last of her tears. They are escorted out of the room. They're not allowed to be in there when her bandages are changed. It makes them worry really. Was it really that bad and they didn't even know?
They wait there, outside her room. They don't know when they could back in, it varies everyday.
"We should tell her soon, Logan. She's going to be more heart-broken when she finds out that we kept this from her all this time," Kendall tells him.
"I know. I- I just don't know how to tell her, she's going to be crushed." Kendall nods, understanding the situation.
They wait in silence until the happy-go-lucky nurse comes out and tells them that they can go back in.
"Hey Cami. Better?" Logan asks, seating himself next to her on the bed.
"Yeah, thanks. How about that movie?"
"Yeah, your choice. What do you want to watch?" James asks.
For the first time in a week, Camille actually answers instead of shrugging her shoulders. "I don't know, but pick a comedy. Maybe it'll lighten the mood."
James nods and picks up a DVD of "The Pink Panther". He inserts it in the DVD player and sits down next to all his friends. The movie begins and all of them play close attention to the movie. They are laughing a good thirty minutes into the movie until there are tears in their eyes.
Camille, for most of the movie, is enjoying herself and laughing along with her friends. But, she finds as she looks around, that she's becoming more upset as the movie goes on and as her friends laugh more. She likes doing this, she does. She wishes that they could enjoy themselves like today, doing little things like watching movies. But, she's upset. She wonders why they can't be this happy everyday, why everything always went wrong for them. She wants to stay with her friends forever, happy, not having to worry about any dangers of the world.
She hates the nightmares that keep her up at night. She hates the fact that every time that she closes her eyes she sees him. She wants it all to end. She hates how ugly she looks now. She hates how she's afraid that Logan will leave her for someone prettier, less messed-up. She hates thinking that everyone sees her differently. She hates it, she hates it all.
It's killing her. She tries to focus on the movie, but fails miserably. She shuts her eyes clenching her teeth. She can't take it anymore. She wants to scream and yell but she doesn't. She wants someone to tell he that no one will ever leave her, but no one can promise her that. She knows that they will all leave her eventually. They will realize that she's useless and worthless just like he did. They're going to leave her once they get tired of how messed-up she is. Logan will stop loving her, who would even like her like this? He's going to realize how ugly she is, and leave her for someone much prettier.
She looks down. All she sees are her long nails. She promised herself she wouldn't do this to herself again. She wouldn't harm herself, but the emotional pain was getting to her. She wanted to stay this happy forever. She didn't want to face the world tomorrow, breaking down at the littlest of things.
She does it. She pulls up her sleeve up to her elbow. Her fingernails slowly grazes her arms which hold cuts that are healing. Then she bites a small part of her nail to make sure it's sharp. She takes it to her arms and slowly but steadily drags it up her arm, making a thin cut. She's surprised that her arm is so steady, but continues to make the thin line slightly longer. But it's enough for her. She feels sweet relief and she watches little droplets of blood pricking through the skin. She smiles a small smile to herself but quickly hides it. It worked. She got her mind of the emotional pain and got caught up in the physical one. But, she regrets it, tears well up in her eyes.
She looks around to find her friends totally engrossed in the movie. She pulls down the sleeve of her over-sized sweatshirt and looks at her friends. She's forever grateful that the doctor permitted her to wear normal clothes instead of hospital gowns two days ago.
"Hey guys, I'm going to the bathroom okay?" Camille informs them.
They shrug her off and Camille smiled to herself. Any other day, at least one person would have followed her there to make sure she was okay. They would not leave her alone for a minute. They must really like the movie...
Camille adjusts her sweatshirt as she stands up and makes her way to the small adjoining bathroom. She looks in the mirror, finding her face perfectly intact. Besides the scar behind her left ear, her face had healed quite nicely.
But that's not what she's there for. She lifts her sweat shirt sleeve once again and gazes at the smeared blood that had oozed out of her cut. She takes one last good look and rinses the blood from her arm. When it stops bleeding, she pulls down her sleeve one last time and exits the bathroom.
Just as she exits, guilt and regret washes over her again. She really wishes that she didn't do that. Tears well up in her eyes once again. She could have just talked it out, but noooo she cut herself. She wants to try so she promises herself that she will...eventually.
She wants to talk it out, she does but she doesn't want to be a burden. They already spend so much time with her that she's afraid she's depriving them of lives outside of her. They want to be there, they've told her so many times, but sometimes she can't help but wonder at times.
She climbs onto the bed and lays down, cuddling up against Logan. She holds back her tears, not letting them fall. She had promised not to do this again but then again, some promises are meant to be broken. But she knows that her friends will be crushed if they find out.
Never again, she promises herself, but she herself doesn't know if that promise will be kept. The most she can do is try to make sure it never happens again. But then again, some things are out of your control.
AN: I hope you enjoyed that, but I definitely did NOT plan that on happening. It kind of just happened while I wrote. I promise to update as soon as possible and please tell me what you think. Please review.
My mom is trying to drag me to the supermarket, which I refuse to go to. I do NOT want to be run over by hundreds of people who are freaking out over food and supplies. Wish me luck in talking my mom out of it.
PLEASE REVIEW!