SO SORRY I HAVE NOT UPDATED. i HAVE BEEN BUSY WITH SCHOOL, AND ESCAPING FROM AN INSANE VAMPIRE.
Authoress: I tell you. I do not own the rights to Van Helsing. Go after Director Sommers. He's the one who had you killed.
Dracula: Even if that is true, you are still going to kill me in this, looks at my writings contemptuously, this rubbish.
Authoress: If i kill you, and then bring you back, will you please stop trying to strangle me?
Before he can answer, a new person arrives.
VAN HELSING: You are the Miss Sommers who killed my greatest foe? Thank you." And he gives me a massive hug.
Dracula: So it is true. Liar, prepare to die.
Authoress: VAN HELSING! save me from this lunatic. I did not write that you died in that movie, but if you persist, i shall kill off in my rubbish as you call it.
Dracula: No. Don't kill me. I won't strangle... For now.
To be continued The advetures of the authoress
Chapter 2 Battles with Brides
I awoke early the next morning from a disturbing dream. All I can say was that it involved vampires, our guests, lots of blood, and me. I rolled over and saw the clock: 6:25 a.m. For a second, I thought the incident of last night was just a dream, but as my mind cleared, and I noticed I was still in my Halloween costume, everything started to come back. Slowly making my way to Maddy's borrowed room, I went in, and saw she was already up. "I didn't sleep well," she complained, "bad dreams." "Me to," I said flopping on the bed, "though I must say, it is pretty exciting." "Exciting," she exclaimed," you would think it terrifying if every single vampire seemed to be picking on you." "Hey, you were the one wishing for vamps to be real, not me. Anyway, I am in as much a fix as you. Every single one of those annoying pests thinks I am a Van Helsing." I said, my tone reflecting irritation and delight in the whole matter. Madeline just sighed and stared out the window. We went down and had breakfast, where my parents informed me they were taking Holly and would be going out for the day. As soon as they left, I hurried to my dad's room, and pulled out a box of bullets. I had never returned the borrowed revolver, and I wanted to have every protection possible. Digging through his stuff, I found a large hunting knife and belted it on. 'My dad will have a fit if he ever finds out." I thought wryly. Grabbing Madeline, who was pacing back and forth, I pulled her out the door and hurried to Madeline's house. "Hope Carl did not break everything." Maddy giggled nervously. I grinned at the thought as we went in through the back door. Everyone was in the living room, conversing quietly. "Everything alright?" Maddy called from the doorway. "No, everything is not alright," said Ienna with a lofty sniff, "when you are in a barbaric land, that produces food that tastes like cardboard, when the bed is horribly uncomfortable…" she went on and on until Anna silenced her with a look. " Please excuse her," Anna apologized, "she just is not used to all this." I nodded my head. It had been dark the night before, and their features had been barely recognizable, so I took the moment to study their appearances. Ienna was a petite girl of around 15, a sour, petulant expression on her face, and a generous smattering of freckles. Her hair was in a tight braid, and she was dressed in a long flowing skirt and peasant blouse. Anna looked almost exactly how the movie showed her. Same hair, same clothes, even the heels, but her face with slightly different. In my opinion, this Anna was even more beautiful then the one portrayed in the movie. Carl was the same. He stumbled over words, had a lock of blonde hair slipping into his eye, and was continually looking around as if afraid of something. He looked very confused, and was no doubt wishing for his abbey. And Van Helsing. He stood silently, a tall figure with his duster pulled over his face, and a vast array of weapons peeking out from under his coat. He had those same dark brown waves to his shoulder, and he seemed a little sterner than in the movie. Anna continued talking as I took this mental survey, "What we need to worry about is how to finish off these menaces and get back to our era." "Alright, time for a meeting," I called loudly. Everyone gave me his and her ear. "As Anna told us last night, supposedly, the only thing that will kill our friend the count is the sword of the Angel Gabriel, which is thought to be hidden in Castle Dracula. Am I right?" The group nodded. "Well, that is impossible for the moment, since we are far away from Castle Dracula, and even farther away from Castle Dracula in your world. So is there anything else that could possibly dispose of him?" I continued. Carl ahemmed loudly. We all turned to face him. "This is only a legend," he said, "I cannot say if the information is credible. I found the manuscript in an ancient section of the Vatican Archives, and there were suggestions that it might be forgery, so I can't say this will work, considering…" "Just get to the point Carl." I snapped. "As I was about to say, before I was so rudely interrupted," here he stared at me, "the manuscript gave a formula, that if followed, guaranteed the destruction of any evil creature. A red rose and a sprig of wolfs bane must be burned together over a fire of dogwood and lilies. The ashes must then be mixed with Palm Sunday ashes, and mixed in holy water. The mixture must be coated over a weapon of silver crosses must be engraved into the weapon, and three prayers in Latin, Hebrew, and Greek must be said over them for three days." With that, he pulled out a yellowed manuscript with the ending slightly torn. "Well, we should at least try," said Anna skeptically, "it's our only hope." "It is our only hope if we want to prevent him from wrecking damage in our world." Madeline said softly. "Finally we have a chance to destroy this dude," I said, "were-wolf venom always seemed a little unrealistic. " Why does everyone wish to take part in my destruction? Leave me alone and I would leave you alone." Said everyone's favorite count who was hanging from the ceiling. "Cuz' you're an evil lunatic who loves destruction, and for the betterment of society you should, and will be eliminated." I shouted angrily. He leaped to the ground and stared at me in the shocked silence that followed. "I never knew you could speak so forcefully," Maddy whispered. The vampire turned to Van Helsing. "Tut, tut Gabriel. Such a coward you have become. Having little girls fighting your battles." Van Helsing turned livid, and would have rushed him if Anna had not held him back. "Little Girl?" I screamed, "I'm no little girl. I'm a teenager. I fight battles for no one but myself, and no one ever fights mine." Everyone turned to look at me. "Are your kind, teenagers you call them, always so vocal?" He asked curiously. "Just about always," I said glaring, "And let me tell you another thing. You are the real coward, coming here. Go back to hell were you belong." Dracula let a half smile appear, "I can assure you, it's not as nice as here." "Well, you are going to be there for eternity, why not start making yourself comfortable." His smile vanished, and the look of an enraged predator appeared. "Why not leave us in peace." I continued, ignoring the danger. "Peace?" he scoffed, "I live on discord and chaos." "True signs of someone who belongs in a madhouse," I bit out. Ienna gave a little gasp, and the count's eye turned icy blue with a tint of red. "OOH! I think we are in the presence of a very dangerous psychopath," I mocked, "better stand clear." "Girl," he roared, "you dare mock me? Matching your wits against mine. Me who has commanded armies?" "A fine job you did, I'm sure. Anyway, as I tell people: those who live by their wits usually die in a brainless way." I said. Any last bit of self-control he might have had snapped. He slapped me across the room and I went flying into Mrs. Bauer's white patent leather couch and over the side. "Not the couch." Shrieked Maddy, who shut up as the vampire glared at her. "Ugh, Van Helsing," I said woozily from behind the couch, "isn't this where you shoot our friend here for his outrageous breach of etiquette toward a lady?" Dracula gave a harsh laugh, "You were the one being unladylike." I didn't respond, thinking dire thoughts directed toward revenge. MY face felt on fire, and I was going to have a massive lump. "Please, just everyone get out of the house." Said Madeline, sounding flustered and frantic. "Why don't you get out?" He replied caustically. "Leave them out of this," Van Helsing said, speaking for the first time since his nemesis appeared. "This fight is between you and me." "Empty threats blowing in the wind; try Gabriel, try and kill me." "Plagiarizer!" I muttered from behind the couch. "A what?" the vampire snapped. "A plagiarizer," I shouted, "Director Sommers could sue you for plagiarizing. Using lines without a copyright." Peering around the corner of the couch, I saw Anna shifting uncomfortably. I pulled my head back and thought that maybe I had gone a little too far. Still, it was fun screaming at that jerk. Being thrown across a room is not a pleasant experience, I can assure you, and vampire or not, Dracula or not, Prince of Darkness and other such rot or not, I was going to have REVENGE! There was silence; a very uncomfortable silence for about 3 minutes before Dracula said a very insulting thing to Van Helsing. They started verbally sparring again, when I happened to look out the window. The sunny day was starting to grow steadily darker and darker. It hit me. That sneaking twerp I thought. He is distracting us while his brides attack. I started grinning like the Cheshire Cat. I had just busted wise guy's plan. I crawled to the door, and slipped out. Walking over to a tall oak in the front of the house, I scanned the area. The sky above the house had become so dark it looked like night. Pulling out my dad's revolver, I readied myself for battle. The brides landed in front of the window, and probably would have crashed through, when I called, "Going somewhere?" They hissed in distaste, and wheeled around. They saw a young woman with flashing eyes, a drawn gun, and the other hand on her hips. She wore a confident smile that was edging on superior. "It's that other Van Helsing," said the blonde Marishka. "What do you think you are doing?" Said Verona in disbelief, "We are stronger, faster, and more intelligent than you. You must want a death wish." "Yeah," I smirked, "but you definitely aren't as mad as me. Insanely so." I riddled her with bullets, slashed at the blonde's chest with my sword which I had drawn, and kicked Aleera in the face. Verona had recovered at this time, and I had to duck as she lunged at me. Everyone inside the house had rushed out, and I could see Van Helsing aiming up with his crossbow. Claws dug into my jacket and I was lifted into the air. I grabbed the hunting knife and slashed the foot holding me, hitting the ground with a thud. I saw Dracula staring at me with hate, no doubt for busting up his surprise attack. Seeing two of the brides standing together, I pulled out my sparring pole and twirled it twice. "Hey, you want to know something," I called, "you guys eat humans and I am going to eat you." I rushed at them and they shrieked, going to cower behind Dracula. "Aw, poor little girls. Scared of one defenseless, human girl." I taunted. "I would not talk like that." Their master said. "Why not?" I shouted. "Because you might get hurt." He said, smiling evilly. "Come on, take your best shot." I replied, being careful to avoid his gaze. "As you wish." He vanished, and I realized he was going to come from behind. I instinctively flipped out of the way with a back flip. As he appeared, I hit him with my Buddhist Monk's staff, and sprinted away. I saw I had been carried away a good distance from the house and frowned. I could see Van Helsing aiming at Aleera, and Anna and Ienna where up against the other two. Carl and Madeline were not in sight, so that meant I had the count to myself. "Terrific," I growled. A fierce started blowing and knocked me sideways. It stopped, then returned with such great force I went right into a tree. "That's playing dirty," I shouted to myself. "Is it?" said his voice. I could not see him and that made me nervous, and as the wind stopped, I sprang up. I looked around and saw nothing. I backed up and hit something hard. Lashing out with my fist, I punched someone that felt like a brick wall. "Agh," I cried, shaking my numb fist. "That's what happens when you don't act ladylike," he said in a cool voice. I let a scornful smile appear and muttered something very unladylike. "This is what happens to those who don't act gentlemanly," I retorted and threw my second ninja star. Without waiting to the results, I ran like heck. "Guess it didn't do as much damage as I had hoped," I said in disgust, as he appeared right in front of me. "You can't kill me, so why try. It is delusional to believe that." He said in persuasive tones. "We have nothing, if not belief," I said quietly, "I believe we can kill you, and kill you we will. Pride goes before a fall." His brow took on a frown, and I took the moment to peer toward the house: everyone was busy fighting. 'Come on someone,' I thought, 'give me a hand here.' "Ah ha," he laughed, "you are starting to feel fear." "Excuse me?" I blinked. Then I realized, drat, mind reading. Thinking of Eragon, I imagined a dragon scale in my mind. It must have worked, since his face took on a look of concentration. I felt my wall crumble, and stared in dumb rage as he sifted through my memories. "Hmm, has an unhealthy interest in vampires, and looks for trouble." His lips quirked into a smile. "Hannah, a very nice name. Means flower in Chinese, and Happiness in Hebrew." 'Happy isn't a very appropriate word,' I thought, 'with this creep's ugly face in front of me.' "I saw that." He said. I growled in anger. Now I was starting to get p*s*ed off. "In Dei Nomini Retro." I screamed. The vampire was flung back, and the mind contact broke. I started to rush back to Maddy's house, but risked a glance over my shoulder. He seemed dazed. Putting on a burst of speed, I arrived to see the UnDead ladies surrounding Van Helsing. The others were not in sight. "HEY. Pick on someone your own size." I called. They shrieked in dismay when they saw me, and flew into the air. "AW, are you afraid?" I called after them, "Come on, show a bit of back bone." "Your time will come, human. And when it does I shall feast on your dead body." Cried Aleera. "YOU can't feast on me if you are flying in the opposite direction. Cowards." Nevertheless, they were gone. "Where are the others?" I asked. "Ienna got knocked up a bit, so Anna and your friend brought her inside. And what about you? You are looking a little rough." I gave him a weak smile, and said, "I respect you lot more after seeing what you have to contend with on a daily basis. To answer your question, I was being flung into trees by yours truly." His eyes widened, "Are you okay? No broken bones?" I gave a negative and he shook his head in disbelief. "You must have a very powerful guardian angel," said Anna, coming out of the house. "Ugh, thanks. Is your sister okay?" "She is fine. I wouldn't doubt if she is exaggerating a bit. At any rate, Madeleine stayed with her," she said with a friendly laugh, "well, in spite of all this we really haven't had a chance to get to know each other. You are Hannah, right?" I nodded, and looked up, noticed it was already evening. "Anna, how about we chat tomorrow when we start brainstorming about collecting the items needed for Carl's formula. At this moment, Maddy and I really should get back." I said. Madeline walked out of the house, looking exhausted. "Are you sure she's related to you?" she asked Anna with an exasperated air. Anna just settled for a wry face. "Wait, where is Carl?" asked Madeline. The friar was not in sight. "Here," came a muffled voice, and he popped out from behind some shrubbery. I raised an eyebrow, "I never knew you were that of a chicken," I commented. "I'm not a chicken," he huffed, "I was trying to get this. It was the last one," and he held out a red rose. Gabriel smiled and shook his head. "We'll see you tomorrow," he said, "be safe."
Musical Entertainment
After church the next morning, I hurried to my room and changed into my Van Helsing Vampire Killer clothes. Grabbing my iPod, I listened to 'Oh, it's only in my mind, it's not the real life, I must be dreaming,' as I waited for Madeline to change. As soon as she was dressed, we quickly rushed over to her house. Everyone was talking excitedly in the front of the house. "What is wrong?" we questioned. "Marishka paid a surprise visit and tried to get rid of us, and Carl's manuscript," explained Anna, "it did not work though." "What a victory," I crowed, "we are kicking vamp b**t left and right." "That was no victory," said Madeline solemnly, "that was a defeat." I stared, "What? We totally destroyed them three days in a row." "Dracula heard our plan. This surprise attack proves he is nervous about this secret formula. He is going to be out for blood." "Smart girl," said an icy voice. I saw her freeze, and a strained look passed over her face. We all saw Dracula right behind her, and Anna gave a mild oath. "You are probably more annoying them my little sister and Ienna combined," I said tersely, "and let me assure you that is saying a lot." Ienna gave a disgusted sniff. "Now," said the count conversationally, "you will be so kind as to give me that paper your holy man is keeping." No one stirred. "If you refuse," he added, "I will, hmm…" and he let the sentence trail off, while placing a cold hand on Maddy's shoulder. She squeaked, and her face turned white. I ducked behind Van Helsing, and whipped out my iPod. Vampires supposedly had sensitive hearing, and this would be the test. Turning it on super high, I came out from behind the monster hunter and pressed play, 'I want to hear you scream,' came blaring out. Oh yeah, that vampire screamed. Madeline went flying to the ground, and I grinned wryly as I helped her up, "Vampires seem to like you." "I think I'll pass," she said, breathing heavily. I stopped the song, and waited for Dracula's reaction. He shook his head in annoyance, and flicked his head a couple times, then turned his attention toward me. 'Not good,' I thought. "You must think you are so smart," he said in a menacing tone, "but you will be screaming for mercy in the end, and there will be no one to help you." "Yes, I wouldn't want to miss it," I said, smiling sweetly, "I'm sure your next demonstration will be even more impressive than the one we just witnessed." As my words hit him, understanding flashed across his face. His eyes turned red, and he lunged at me. Van Helsing stepped between him and me, but he was swung out of the way and hit the side of the house. "Gabriel," cried Anna. The vampire wrapped a hand around my throat, and lifted me into the air. An evil smile twisted his face, "Very young, very stupid. Not a lot of sense." I spit in his face, and pressed play on my iPod. "We all live, we all die, but that does not begin to justify you," sang Amy Lee. "You might be dead," I spat, "but it certainly does not justify you." My fist connected into his face, and he stumbled back. He transformed into his bat form and flew away. "And Don't Come Back," I called after him. Now that all threats were retreated for the moment, I felt my strength evaporate. I saw Anna by Van Helsing's side saying over and over, "Are you all right, are you all right." I noted maliciously that she was preventing him from getting up. Ienna looked at me with a glimmer of respect, and awe was written all over Carl's face. "Well," I breathed, "that was entertaining." "Define entertaining," said Madeline, who still looked a little shook up. "Anna, please let me up," came Van Helsing's voice. Anna blushed as she realized she was clinging to his arm. "We really need to find all the ingredients for Carl's magic potion," I said shortly, "I'm getting a little tired of being Wonder Woman and saving everyone." I leaned against the side of the house and closed my eyes. I listened to the sound of my breathing for a few moments before I stood up straight. "If we spread out, we can get everything we need in no time. We'll get you some proper clothes, and then we will decide who should go find what." I said tersely. Anna fit comfortable into a pair of Mrs. Bauer's jeans, and a white blouse of Madeline's, and Carl reluctantly put on a brown polo and cargo pants. Ienna, however, turned her nose up at everything, and Van Helsing flatly refused to change. I told Gabriel he could stand guard at the house, but turning to Ienna, I wasn't so nice. "You get out of that gypsy skirt and blouse at once, or you'll be sorry." I roared. Her eyes grew wide, and she dashed into the bedroom. She came out five minutes later wearing a green tee shirt and grey slacks. She wore a sulky look, and her eyes were flashing angrily. 'She's the youngest, and has probably been sheltered. Well that's all about to change,' I thought smiling. Excusing myself, I went into the kitchen and made myself an iced coffee. Mrs. Bauer had a bit of a weakness when it came to her caffeine, so I made one out of the supplies. Shooing everyone into the parlor, I called a meeting. "A call to order everybody. All right, Carl, you look around the neighborhood and try to find a dogwood plant and lilies. Madeline, you and Ienna will go to that exotic plant store and try to find wolfs bane. Anna and I will pay the local church a visit, and attempt to procure holy water. Van Helsing, you stay here and guard the manuscript. Any questions? No? Okay, get going." And I pushed Madeline and Ienna out the door, ignoring Maddy's silent plea for a different traveling companion. "Princess, would you join me," I asked respectfully. She nodded, and after giving Gabriel a light touch on his arm, she walked out the door. "So, Anna," I said, "would you care to tell me a little about yourself, and how you met Gabriel, and also how you think you got here? If I'm not being too inquisitive?" I said all in one breath. She was about to answer when I saw her freeze, and a look of horror came across her face. "What is it? Vampires?" I questioned. "What in the name of all that is good is is that?" she stammered. I saw her point, in the direction of a Chevy Truck. "It's a car," I said with amusement, "a moving machine made out of metal." As she still looked freaked out, I tired to explain better, "Think of a metal horse or boat that goes really fast. Or, maybe, um, a stagecoach that is powered by, by, um, ugh, power?" After realizing it was not dangerous, she began to examine it carefully. "Can we ride on it?" she asked. "You ride in it. And no, sadly we cannot. I am not old enough to get my driver's license, sigh, so, no riding. But how old are you Anna?" "I was twenty three on my last birthday." She replied. "Aaha. You could technically drive. Anyway, come on." Her eyes sparkled when she heard that, and she looked back at it wistfully. "As I said," Anna continued, "I am twenty-three years old, and am the oldest Valerious child. I am the leader of the village of Vaseria since both my parents are dead. As far as I know, Ienna is my only remaining sibling. There was my brother Velkan, who was being schooled in Rome. He would be about 17 now. He had just turned 15, and had written us a letter concerning his schooling, and that was the last we ever heard of him. Ienna was barely 13, and it left a large impression on her, turning her into a cynical person." "Just like me," I muttered, "hard, cynical, and sarcastic." "You might be cynical," said Anna with a small smile, "but you are not hard. You have a large heart, and have put her life I danger to save us, complete strangers. Anyway, I was in the marketplace of Vaseria, when Carl and Van Helsing appeared. The brides made a surprise attack and he rescued us, afterwards tracking them to Castle of Frankenstein, were Dracula told him he was the angel Gabriel in human form. I rescued Dr. Frankenstein while Carl caused a diversion. Seems the count was forcing him to slave away in a laboratory for three years experimenting with life. We were able to give him asylum with the Vatican were hopefully he will be safe. Well, Dracula was mad that we had taken away the most gifted scientist ever from his keeping, added to the fact of Gabriel's sudden appearance. Supposedly, Van Helsing is a fallen angel and killed him several hundred years before. Hoping to trap him, and secede in eliminating Gabriel, he kidnapped me, and took me to his palace in Budapest. Last night, Gabriel caused a diversion, while Carl and Ienna rescued me. The annual All Hallow's Eve ball was going on, and every single vampire was after us. The only way of escape was through a massive stained glass window. We crashed through, and we appeared here." Anna said. "Hmm, maybe that window was a portal, a rare chasm between your world and ours," I speculated, "since how did Dracie and his bimbettes appear also?" Anna just shrugged, as unsure about the whole thing as I was. We stopped our talking as we got to the Cathedral, an imposing building that was very impressive. "Okay," I said was we neared the doors, "this is what we do. You stand guard and talk theology to any person who gets to curious, while sneak into the storeroom." "But it is a sin," exclaimed Anna," stealing from a church." "Borrowing," I corrected, "anyway, a sin is not a sin when it is done for the greater good." "You might get caught," argued Anna. I sighed, "I'm really good at sneaking around. Come on." We stepped inside and walked toward the sanctuary. Crossing ourselves, I whispered, "This is going to take more then three Hail Mary's." Making my way toward the altar, I climbed the stairs, and opened the first door on the right.
Authoress: So what do you think. Everyone. fans or otherwis, please review. THis is my first story ever. And i want to know if i should continue writing as a way to supress lonliness. You would really start having writer's block if you were surrounded by an insane vampire, and shoot em up monster hunter, and a very nervous fluttery friar, so give me your ideas, your dislikes, and ect.
Dracula: No doubt the reviewers will say it is the worst piece of writing ever and deserves to be thrown into the trash.
Van Helsing: Talk more civil to the lady, or i'll make you.
Dracula: Oh, trying to tell me what to do? TRY!
Authoress: No fighting in the house. Carl, help me lock these two up in seperate closets.
Drac and V.H: WHAT?
Carl: A excellent idea. Then you can have some more quiet to work on your story.
D ad V.H: We wont fight. PROMISE.
Authoress: I glare at them suspiciously. Hmmm.
Be continued
And if you don't review i will send a were-wolf to eat you. Till next time.