Chapter Fifteen
Gossip in the Grain

Aunt Pol had always been a head strong woman. She was the backbone of the family, keeping all the men and boys in line so they did not stray too far. She kept up appearances, never once leaving her lips without the red stain that soon became her signature, nor once leaving the house without looking as if she was going to step onto stage. She was a matriarch of sorts, with the boys in the Shelby clan, as well as those who worked for them, following her advice and rules. She was respected – wholeheartedly respected by all – and those who did not give her the respect she deserved knew they would pay a price. She had worked hard to get to where she was, but with power came hidden heartache that was relentless. It threatened to show at times, but she was good at keeping the mask she wore from slipping.

And it often slipped at the best of times. Tommy had seen the mask well and truly clatter to the ground more times than he would ever admit. Loyalty was huge part of the Shelby family, and he always made sure that when Aunt Pol's mask did slip, that he took a step forward and controlled the situation. They had an unspoken respect – both had been in positions where they believed their world was becoming darker than what it was, and both of them were able to build each other back up when it all became too much.

When Tommy returned from war, he was not the same Tommy that had left. He was different, scarred, damaged. He suffered from debilitating nightmares. He would find himself cowering into the corner when he heard raised voices or loud noises from afar. He would spend nights pacing across the floor of his bedroom believing that the enemy were in the walls listening and waiting until he fell asleep. He would only be able to sleep if someone was in the same room as him. And that person had been Aunt Pol.

Aunt Pol had become his backbone, his pillar of strength, and his shoulder to cry on. He was vulnerable, with the war having stripped him down to nothing more than a shell of his former self. She took care of him, showed him that he should not let his pain engulf him, allowed him to take time to fully heal from the mental scars that plagued his life.

The guilt of what she had done weighed heavily on her shoulders when she saw how much pain he was in. He was crippled with anxiety, plagued with an unknown enemy that seemed to creep out of the darkness when he was least expecting it. He had needed someone, and even though Aunt Pol had been there, she understood that he did not want her there. He had needed the woman who had shown him how to love. He had needed the woman who had spent years by his side. He had needed the woman who had loved him with her whole being, and the woman who she had sent away.

Martha had been removed from his life in a heartbeat, and it was all down to Polly's decision. It scared her to know how Tommy would react, and she knew he would take it badly when the truth came out. Martha was his sweetheart, and he believed she had left him because he was damaged and weak.

Once the truth had come out that Aunt Pol was behind the letter that had been sent to Martha, it felt like the weight that was beginning to bury her into the ground lifted and she was able to see the world a little clearer. She knew that Tommy resented her for lying to both him and Martha, but part of him understood her reasons for doing it. She was thinking of Martha and the pain of seeing Tommy differently. He hated the idea of returning from war – if he returned at all – and having to see the pain in Martha's eyes when she realised that Tommy was not the same man. It all made sense to Tommy. For Martha, however, it hurt her. Even though she had been young when Tommy went to war, there would be nothing in the world that Tommy could ever do for her to see him in a different light.

Tommy had saved Martha more times than she liked to admit. Having been orphaned and having no family whatsoever to be there for her, her future was bleak. She had been thirteen years old, wrapped up in rags with her hair and skin matted with dirt. She had slept on the street for a few months before Tommy had stumbled across her one evening when he came home from the pub. He had taken her to the Shelby house and had her clean herself up. The house had been empty with the family remaining in the pub. As Tommy gave her a plate of food, Martha had slowly undressed knowing that payment was always required for food, to which Tommy had looked away and ordered her to dress herself once more. Martha had been confused and Tommy had explained that not all men were like the men she had met. Her actions had not angered him, but had upset him to think that a girl close to his sister Ada's age had been made to do such demeaning things for basic survival.

Martha had quickly found her role in the household, and Ada was pleased to know that there was another young girl who she was able to talk to. Being the only young girl in the family, she often found herself wishing she was somewhere else. But as Martha got used to the chaos and mayhem surrounding her, she was able to understand that she was not expected to leave so soon. For Ada, she was able to have the young sister that she had always wished for. Through the years, Martha and Ada had become close and bonded over their love of theatre. They would read the newspaper and see all the glamorous photographs of women in black and white on stage dressed in beautiful gowns and hoped that one day, it would be their own photographs printed for everyone to see.

Martha's departure had not only hurt Tommy to his core, but it had broken Ada. Her non-biological sister had disappeared from her life, and there was nothing she could do to make sure she returned. Ada just had to hope that one day Martha returned. But when the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months and the months eventually turned into years without any trace or word from Martha, the pain Ada felt had turned into anger.

Martha's return, however, had not softened the blow for Ada. And Aunt Pol understood that Ada had been hurt by her as well.

Footsteps on the stairs caused Aunt Pol to snap back to reality quickly. She watched and waited as Martha came downstairs, and offered Aunt Pol a small smile. The atmosphere between the two women had been tense after Tommy's injury. Tommy had explained to both of them separately that it was probably best to keep away from each other until he was better. They both agreed but both women acknowledged that it could not continue this way.

Tommy had left the house to see over a few jobs that required his attention. He left Martha a note on his pillow letting her know where he was going. She had gotten dressed and had taken a deep breath before descending downstairs.

Aunt Pol took a sip of her steaming cup of tea and nodded towards the young girl. "There's tea in the pot if you'd like some."

Martha thanked her, and poured herself a cup. She took a seat at the table, opposite Aunt Pol.

"I'm sorry," Aunt Pol said, breaking the silence. Martha glanced up at her and remembered the burn of the slap across her face. She tenderly reached her hand up to her cheek. "Not for that…"

"That would be too easy," Martha commented to which Aunt Pol smirked.

"It would. But that felt good," Aunt Pol said, to which Martha rolled her eyes. "I wanted to apologise for what I did… that made you leave."

"Are you though?" Martha asked boldly.

"Yes," Aunt Pol said. "I've watched him these last few days and it's like no time has passed. I wanted him to move on from you. It was selfish, I understand. He was so in love with you. You were so in love with him. And that made me sad to think that if Tommy didn't come back, how would you cope? He plucked you from the street and you'd created this life together with the promise of London being your destination and I thought to myself, 'This cannot last'. You were still young enough to find a husband who would give you financial stability."

"You thought that I wanted financial stability?" Martha said, disgusted. "I loved Tommy. His 'death' caused me to not want to live either. The only thing I could truly do was to try and live the way he would want me to."

Martha fell silent. Aunt Pol watched the young woman for a moment, noticing how her eyes filled with tears. Aunt Pol was not a cold nor cruel woman. And all she wanted to do, in that moment, was to wrap the girl up in her arms and give her comfort. Martha had been young when she joined their family, and Aunt Pol had always seen potential in her. Even though Martha had not had the best start in life, she had the potential to make her life the best it could be. However, whether that was with Tommy or not, Aunt Pol was not sure.

"There was no malice in what I did," Aunt Pol said calmly.

Martha nodded slowly. "Is that an apology?"

Aunt Pol chuckled. "Maybe."

"Then I'll take it," Martha said. "I want to reassure you. I love Tommy with all of my being. There's not a thing about him that I don't love."

As the two women made up, Tommy stood outside silent, the door slightly ajar as he listened to the two important women in his life make amends. It felt such a relief knowing that they had forgiven each other for what had gone on. There was no denying the fact that Martha's words regarding him were true. It showed on her face and how she moved that her love towards Tommy was just as strong for him now than it was then. He was happy – for the first time in a long time. But something weighed heavily on his mind as he thought about their current situation and the fact that Michael had been seen around the area by Shelby's men, and the threat of him returning was something that Tommy was unable to shake.