40th chapter. I can't believe it but let's do this. Oh and have any of you read Incantation by Alice Hoffman? I just started but the first page is so BEAUTIFUL! AND my best friend told me I write like that which made me want to hug her in the middle of class. LOL.

I've been so hyper while writing... I don't know why but that's really besides the point.

Oh and a very big shout out to all my loyal friends and reviewers, I really can't thank you enough.

AN: This is the 40th time I'm doing this for this story. No, I do not own Big Time Rush or anything related to it. All I own is the plot and the characters I have created. Anyways, hope you guys like it.

"So nice to meet you all, Camille has told me so much about you!" Dr. Coleman says as she smiles enthusiastically.

A few weeks had passed by at this point and it was safe to say that Camille was healing. All of them, Camille included, were amazed at the fast recovery and how Camille was somewhat becoming her old self again. She would never be that girl she once was, that was for sure, but she was coming as close to it as possible. It was easier for her to talk to her friends about her feelings when she needed to and it was easier for her to be confident even if it was for the littlest of things. That fear, though not completely shed, was fading and the overwhelming love from Logan, her friends and everyone else had taken place of that fear. Tears came now and then but it was easier for her now. She always had someone to catch her when she fell and that made her feel safe.

But there was one thing they hadn't done. They hadn't talked about how her friends felt. They hadn't talked about what they went through. They hadn't talked about how horrible it was for them to see their best friend struggle like that. So that's what made them end up here at Dr. Coleman's office. Together. For group therapy.

If anyone saw them, yes, they would seem perfect even though that wasn't the case. Kendall, James, Carlos and Stephanie, when they first found out, were hurt that she didn't tell them how much she was suffering and worried that they would somehow trigger another hasty action. But after she reassured them that it wasn't the case and endlessly apologized after having a talk with them, they forgave her.

Jo was another story. Maybe it was because she and Camille were so close or maybe because she was simply hurt but she avoided Camille. She would shift her gaze when they locked eyes and rushed away as soon as the petite brunette came a bit too close. Camille wasn't going to lie- that hurt. But a strange feeling in the bottom of her stomach told her that she had hurt Jo ten times more. But she missed Jo. She wanted her forgiveness and it had yet to come.

"So we're going to start off with a little exercise, alright? Let's start with you, Kendall is it?" she asks as Kendall immediately nods his head.

There was no way to actually despise Amanda. Her sweet and down to earth self made it almost impossible for anyone to do so.

"How did you feel when you first found out that Camille had harmed herself?"

Kendall casts his eyes over to Camille, staring at her sadly. "Worried and as much as I don't like to admit it, scared."

"You don't like to break your walls down?" she asks casually, peering over at him with interest.

"Hate it," he replies nonchalantly.

"What about you... James?" She looks at the pretty boy who in return doesn't make eye contact with her. Instead, he looks down at his hands, clasping and unclasping them together.

He sighs, slowly looking up. "Shocked... Scared."

If this was under different circumstances, he would have laughed at how cliche this all seemed. It seemed like a scene in a movie with all the people all gathered around discussing their "feelings" with a therapist. But he couldn't laugh. He hated how this was. Oh how he wished he was watching this as a scene in a movie rather than actually being there. Now all he could do was go along with the flow because it was the only way to make all of them stronger.

"Carlos?" she asks, recognizing the young Latino. "Stephanie?"

Carlos extends his hand, reaching for Stephanie's hand and holding it tightly. "Scared," he whispers. "Worried."

"And... you, Jo?" she asks, looking at the blonde girl who was sitting off to the side, away from everyone else.

"Hurt. Shocked. Worried. Scared. Need I go on?" she chuckles to herself humorlessly, hugging one knee to her chest as she stares off into space.

"Bitter much?"

Jo sighs, hugging the knee closer to her chest. "How can I not be?" she asks, turning her head to look at Camille. "I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're thinking Cam. I'm just... upset that you didn't tell me. I hate that we can't tell each other everything anymore. I keep on asking myself, 'When did everything get so complicated?' and even though I sort of know the answer, I still hate it... Sometimes, I get scared that you don't talk to me because you don't like me anymore. I know that probably sounds really childish and probably stupid but..."

"Jo," Camille pleads, "You know that's not true, right? We're best friends. That'll never happen. I know I haven't talked to you or anyone else for that matter about what was happening to me and I'm really sorry. But, Jo, you know that I love you right?" Camille asks, reaching out to her and pulling her into a hug.

"I know," Jo whimpers into Camille's shoulder, "I'm sorry too."

Camille pulls back, "So... we're good?"

Jo nods. "We're great."

They part, exchanging smiles before returning to their seats.

Then, silence falls over them until Dr. Coleman breaks the silence.

"How do you feel about you father- I mean Andrew, Camille," Dr. Coleman asks sweetly.

Camille silently curses, looking away. She had talked to Amanda about it before but she never wanted her friends to learn her feelings about Andrew.

"Cami," Logan says, lifting her delicate face with his index finger, "What is she talking about? You don't... you don't still... you don't hate him, do you?" he asks in realization.

He hated Andrew with a burning passion. If he was alive, he would jump at the chance to kill him even if that wasn't in his nature. He was the calm, straight headed one yet the very thought of Andrew Roberts and what he did to Camille was enough for him to want to punch someone.

He looks at Camille in shock, taken aback. How could she not hate him?

"No, I don't, Logan," she whispers.

"What? Why not?" Carlos asks, releasing Stephanie's hand to focus on Camille.

Camille shuts her eyes, holding back tears and trying to swallow the growing lump in her throat. "Because he's my biological father."

"That's not a good enough reason, Cam," James says crossly.

"I know, James. Believe me, I know. I know he hurt me so much but I can't help it. You all knew the monster he turned into but y-you didn't see the great father he used to be. He used to be perfect and I loved him then. I loved him to no end and that kind of love doesn't just disappear. I can't say I love him right now but I don't hate him. Even though I can't forgive him, I don't hate him."

"Okay. I still don't understand and I don't think I ever will but..." Kendall trails off, squeezing her shoulder.

"Thank you guys. I know you told me not to thank you but what you've done for me and what you've put up with for me deserves more than just a thank you, but right now, that's all I can give you."

"Cami, you know that you don't have to give us anything in return. You don't even need to thank us. We do everything because we love you, not because we expect anything in return, you know that right?" Stephanie asks, pulling Camille into a side hug.

"I know."

In all honesty, Dr. Coleman had never seen a group interact so easily before until she absolutely forced them to. They were strong, even if they didn't see that. They were unbreakable together. These friendships... these relationships were so admirable. They didn't break, they didn't drift away when everyone else in the world expected them to. But no, they became closer than ever and that was something no one could ruin. Life hadn't been fair to them to say the least but in the end, everything worked out for them because they were together.

Camille felt strangely confident. It wasn't that she wanted to go in front of people and announce to the world what happened to her but she wanted people to know the truth. She was tired of all the lies. Which is why she was now standing in front of the media, the cameras taking pictures and recording her.

The questions that were being asked were ignored yet still buzzed in her ears. She closes her eyes and sighs deeply before starting.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I'm deciding to do this now rather than much earlier, and the answer is that I'm tired of all the lies being spread. I'm tired of all the rumors. I'd rather everyone know the truth and so I'm going to tell it to you."

She casts her eyes away from the crowd and looks at her friends backstage. They give her small, encouraging smiles in return.

The crowd is still buzzing with excitement and curiosity. No matter how many questions they were going to ask, she was only going to say what she believed was necessary. She didn't want to answer personal questions for the whole world to know.

She clears her throat a bit before starting, "Steve told all of you that I was abused and yeah, I'll admit it. I was abused when I was little and then I was kidnapped. But I'm not telling you all this because I want you to pity me. No, that's the last thing I want. I just want the rumors to stop. So yes, I was abused yet again. Then months passed by and I struggled but then I had to see Andrew in court again. It was hard and the unexpected happened. He brought a gun there and started shooting. He shot me. Needless to say, I wasn't the same as I was before. I was distant and I just wasn't the same."

Camille shuts her eyes to keep the tears from falling out. A lump grows in her throat and her voice chokes up.

"Everyday it felt like I was suffocating. I-I hated the way I felt and I knew I had to get h-help." She takes a deep breath in order to keep calm, "I know some of you saw Logan and I at my therapist's office. B-But I'm not crazy if that's what you're all thinking. I'm perfectly sane but I knew I needed help. I needed professional help in order to keep my family strong. I was scared. Just as any other nineteen year old would be. My father turned into a monster and did things to me that any of you wouldn't even be able to imagine. I went through things that no one should have to go through, but you know the one thing that always gave me a reason to keep going? My family. My family isn't just made up of my parents. It's everyone I love and care about. I won't lie, we do fight and have misunderstandings but we love each other and that's what keeps all of us going everyday. If I didn't have Logan or anyone of my loved ones, I would be lost. I don't know what I would do. They've been with me through everything, even when times got rough and I have to thank them so much for that."

"And there's one last thing I wanted to tell everyone and no one, not even my family knows so it's kind of a surprise. If I've learned anything throughout this whole experience, it's that this was the biggest struggle I've ever been through. But I know there are other people, other kids out there who suffered just as much as me. Which is why I'd like to start up a fund for them. I was lucky that I had my family with me but not everyone is as lucky and I want them to have some kind of support system. I'll leave you off on that and as soon as the fund is started up, you guys will know."

"So hopefully, I cleared a lot of things today and yes, this was hard for me but it has made me more confident. Thank you guys," Camille nods slowly before backing away and attacking her friends into a hug.

"I love you guys," she sobs, finally letting the tears finally slip out. "Thank you."

Logan slips his arms around Camille's waist from behind as he playfully rubs his nose against the side of her neck. He presses a soft kiss on her neck before whispering, "Do you know how proud of you I am?"

"Hmm," Camille says, tapping her chin teasingly, "I don't know, why don't you show me?" She smiles, pulling Logan into a deep kiss. She runs her thumb over his jaw line, staring into his loving chocolate colored eyes before kissing his jaw line. "I've missed this. Just the two of us."

They were now back in their apartment. Alone. They had all worked everything out and everyone decided to go their own way until they all met for dinner at their favorite restaurant.

"Me too, Cam," Logan whispers against her lips, tangling his fingers in her curls. He pulls back, letting his arms fall down to her waist. "So I was thinking... I want you to come to Minnesota with us for Christmas and New Years." He squeezes her waist, pecking her lips once more.

"I'd love to come with you guys but... I have to talk about it with my parents," she says, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Already done. They said you could come if you want to, that is."

"Of course I will." She smiles shyly, bringing him to her and connecting their lips once more. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Cam."

AN: And so the 40th chapter is over. It feels so surreal even though I really don't know why. Anyways, a lot of things are coming at you this week. Next chapter of AMLP will hopefully be done and hopefully another two one shots. But one one-shot will be up for sure. I really hope you guys liked this and for those of you who have been asking me how much of this story is left, the answer is not much. That makes me so sad and happy at the same time... but the story from here on out will mostly be romance with hurt/comfort and friendship. I'm thinking maybe five more chapters... that could change but it'll definitely be around five even if it does change. Okay, I'll shut up now...

So... review?