Disclaimer- I own nothing (surprise) 'With You' by Dave Stewart, Glen Ballard and Bruce Joel Rubin from the musical Ghost.
Something that has been in my head since this song came into my life two weeks ago. My first Sherlolly, be gentle.
It was raining as Molly Hooper stood in front of 221 Baker Street. She stood there for what seemed like years. The umbrella tried to shield her from most of the downpour but as she fumbled with her keys it swayed further and further from her. She had a bag of dry cleaning draped over her arm that was dangerously close to falling away.
Finally swinging the door open and standing inside the hall Molly shook out her umbrella and quietly ascended the stairs.
had left Molly in charge of her house plants while she was away. She had found herself in need of some time away from London and John wasn't going to be an option for this particular favor.
Having hung up her coat and umbrella by the door Molly stood at the door staring at the rail to the stairs. Her eyes nervously flicked from it to the door to Mrs Hudson's flat further behind it.
Carefully hanging her bundle on the coat rack in the hall she forced her mind to focus on what she was supposed to do. She found breathing to be difficult again.
Once again digging the keys out she found her hands shaking. Taking a deep breath she ignored the feeling of someone watching her as she worked on making her hands function.
After making her rounds to several herbs and a rather lopsided pot of Ivy Molly tiptoed her way back to the front door of 221A. She successfully locked everything back up without dropping her keys.
She made the mistake of looking up when she turned to leave.
There in white plastic was the dry cleaning. Her mouth turned dry and her eyes burned. She shuffled to the rail of the stairs and held onto it for fear her shaking legs would betray her.
After blinking several times she found courage to look at it again. Her hand, white knuckled on the barrister, shook with fear. She didn't want to look up at it but she did. Finding her footing she crossed back to the coat rack and clutched the clothes to her chest.
With slow heavy steps she climbed up the stairs one at a time. The plastic crinkled and clung to her skin as she fisted her hands on it. Several deep slow breaths got her to her reluctant destination.
221B shone dimly in the hall. The door uncharacteristically closed. If the door was locked than she would have climbed herself to tears for nothing.
She absently she reached up to wipe at her eyes. After several moments of hesitation wrapped her hand around the door handle. It was cold, like the rain she had walked through and will be waiting for her when she left.
Slowly she forced her hand to turn the knob, the door creaked open.
The soft grey light of London washed over the sitting room. White sheets covered the furniture to keep the dust away. The place had always been quiet but the absolute silence deafened her.
The faint sound of her footsteps seemed louder than any drum as she crossed the room to the set of sitting chairs. Trembling from the cold or her despair it was hard to tell. Settling herself in the one closest to the kitchen she didn't look up at the empty seat across from her.
Nervously picking at the plastic in her lap she quietly began to speak. "Ipicked up your shirts this morning. I don't know why," she cleared her throat a bit. "I don't know why."
She focused on the wall behind the chair. The buffalo skull was covered as well. "Mr Reynolds said to say hello. I started to cry."
She felt the tremble of her lip as the burn returned to her eyes. Quickly losing her composure she broke into sobs. Burying her face in her hands she tried to keep her emotions in check.
Losing her fight she stood leaving the shirts on her seat. Pacing the the room she took in the memories and details of his flat.
"Every place we ever walked and everywhere we talked, I miss you." She found herself by the window, watching the sky and it's endless rain.
"You never leave my mind." Closing her eyes she braced herself on the sill. Biting her bottom lip she could almost feel him in there with her. Gasping for air she forced her eyes open, trying to focus on anything but the void in her heart. "So much of you is left behind," she lamented. Unable to take the silence anymore she lifted the window open.
The rain rushed to greet her. It's cold drops kissing the tips of her fingers as the wind blew into the room. Unseeing eyes swept from the window to the proud sheet covered chair. "You took my days with you, took my nights with you."
The curtains swayed with the breeze. From the corner of her eye she saw the door swing back, trying to close. She gave a half smile as the universe tried to give her this moment of privacy.
Turning fully away from the window she hugged herself, making her way back to the door shutting it fully.
"Those unfinished conversations we used to have still speak to me and I write you letters every day." The more she spoke the more the she found strength. Well, as much strength she could get from confessing what she was feeling to an empty chair, "That I'll never send and you'll never see."
The door closed with a gentle click. Walking back to the shirts on John's chair she pulled them from their plastic. Lifting an aubergine button oxford she tepidly kissed the cuff.
"All this wishful thinking gets me nowhere, I can't stay," twirling it above her head she draps the arms around her shoulders. If only he could have held her again. "Though my heart is broken it keeps breaking every day."
Reaching out she pulled the sheet off of the chair. "You took my hopes with you. Took my dreams with you!" She couldn't fight the hurt anymore. The sheer weight of losing him just hurt too damn much!
Angry at the fact she was left behind to once again pick up what was left of her heart she dragged the oxford from her shoulders. Clutching it she rambled on, "I keep thinking that you'll be calling. Everyone says that it's all in my head and I can't accept it yet!"
Hot tears streamed from her eyes, "I'm not ready to just give in! I know that I can't live in this pain. With these feelings of regret…"
Crumbling in on herself she sank onto the floor gasping as she sobbed harder. "I can't comprehend this and pretend that I don't care."
Fiercely clutching his shirt to her lips she tried to stifle her cries, but she couldn't stop. Molly felt her world tilting and tumbling. Using his chair as an anchor she rested her head against his seat. More than anything she wished she was leaning her head in his lap instead of the cold black leather. "Any place I wanna be I wanna see you there!"
She didn't know how much time she spent with her head on his chair staring at the cloth covered couch and coffee table. The rain had stopped and the moon settled it's beams gracefully about the flat, "You took my life with you."
Closing her tired swollen eyes she could almost feel him. She could almost feel Sherlock Holmes run his fingers through her hair, comforting her.
Letting out a shaky breath she took in the imagined gesture and lost herself in it. "Took my world with you."
Sherlock stared at the woman in his lap with similar tear stained eyes. Molly was the only reason that he would never leave this world. She still needed him and he was just as desperate for her.
Leaning over he gently kissed the hairline of her forehead. He would find out who had stolen the happy years he and Molly were supposed to spend together. He was going find them and give them wrath that God Himself would shie from.