Gaara stood outside on the back deck where he knew no one would be. He needed time to think. He needed to calm down. He was notorious for his bad temper bad in Suna, but he didn't want anyone to know that here. There was a reason his father called him a demon. Gaara didn't need the nickname following him.

Ino wound up finding him eventually. She just bundled up in her jacket and sat next to him on a chair. Gaara tapped his fingers against the glass table and tried to ignore her. He knew she wasn't going away. This wasn't her fault, he couldn't be angry at her.

"Yes, Ino?" Gaara got his voice to calm down, now it only sounded pained. Ino winced.

"I may still be drunk, but you're still my best friend and that was not cool. I'm sorry you found out like that. That was super not cool. Lee is just not cool." She held his hand and Gaara had to tap on the table with his other hand. A nervous tick he developed.

"I'll get over it." Gaara said emotionlessly and Ino saw his expression change. He was fragile, now he was nothing. It was amazing how quickly his expression disappeared from his face.

"Honey, don't. You have the right to be angry." She started to cry which was strange for Ino, and hugged him. "I'm angry at him too. You're my perfect best friend and I love you and he doesn't deserve you because you're so perfect and I love you." Both of them turned to the sound of the back porch door slide open.

"Everything alright?" Itachi. Great, this day gets better and better.

"Lee is an asshole!" Ino declared loudly and Itachi was taken back by her tone. He then realized she was drunk and sighed. "You should-you should kick him out!"

"Ino, it's okay. I'm fine." There was that face again. Ino frowned and sat back down. Itachi stood several feet away.

"Hey, Ino. Do you mind if I talk to Gaara for a minute." Ino pouted her lip at him but got back up and kissed Gaara's head and left them alone. After all, she was a lot of things but cock-block was not one of them.

Itachi sat down next to Gaara where Ino had just been and looked at the sky. Snow was falling at an incredibly scarce and slow pace but there were still flurries. The moon was bright overhead and the stars could be seen in the small gaps between the clouds. It was a beautiful night. It felt wrong to be the night containing heartbreak.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I know Ino is your friend but you looked like you needed some down time. Drunk girls can be... overbearing, especially drunk best friends." Itachi said calmly, Gaara only nodded. "Would you like to go inside? I have some food and drinks hidden in my room. We can get away from the party." Gaara nodded slowly and Itachi stood up and offered Gaara his hand to help him stand. They both snuck back into the house and Itachi used the back staircase to get upstairs unseen.

Itachi's bedroom was nice, sleek, and open. He had a large bed with a black marble headboard and across from it was a flatscreen mounted on the wall. He had a desk with a nice computer and all of his paperwork and briefcase in the corner and on the opposite end he had his dresser and mirror.

Itachi's bed looked bigger than any bed Gaara saw and that was impressive. Grabbing the remote and bedside tray filled with goodies, Itachi sat on the bed and patted the seat next to him. Gaara complied.

Him and Gaara ate tortilla chips and salsa in silence for a while. Itachi offered Gaara a drink and Gaara took the water. By the smell of Gaara's breath, Itachi was able to easily deduce that he had been drinking. What the hell did Sasuke do to these poor teenagers? They better all be sleeping over if they were drinking.

"Lee..." Gaara started, his voice cracked from not using it for a bit. He cleared his throat and Itachi looked at him giving him all of his attention. Gaara scoffed and shook his head. "Lee slept with Sakura and he didn't tell me about it. It's stupid I shouldn't be upset but I am."

"If it makes you upset, it isn't stupid. There's a reason. What's yours?" Gaara's face burned with shame. "It's okay, Gaara. I'm not here to judge you. I'm just trying to help."

"Lee and I... were... close. Not sexual, but..." Gaara scratched his head trying to say this without sounding like a terrible person. "We would kiss a lot. We slept in the same bed a lot. He told me he loved me and I was special to him..." Gaara covered his face with his hands, embarrassed. "I shouldn't have done that though. I knew he was with someone and I'm just... a bad person."

"I wouldn't say you're a bad person. Just you've done something morally questionable. Doesn't mean you're a criminal. We've all done things we aren't proud of or we wish we could take away. It's part of being human. You have every right to be upset with Lee for what he did to you. Let yourself be angry with him for as long as you need, and then forgive him. Don't forgive him for him, forgive him for you. You don't need to carry that anger around forever.

"Like I said before, guys are stupid and just because I've known Lee for years and I know he is a good kid, that doesn't exempt him from the statement. Sasuke is stupid, so is Naruto. Hell, I'm stupid sometimes and so are you. You don't know what happened with Lee and Sakura, how it came up. I know right now you don't want to hear it, and that's okay. You'll listen when you're ready if it's a story you need to hear. If Lee does love you, which I'm sure he does in his own way, this will run its course. I always said to Sasuke, if you're meant to be with someone, you'll eventually be with them. Right now? You aren't supposed to be with him. Maybe Sakura has to teach Lee a lesson first or maybe you have to be taught something without him. You'll figure it out in the end. Maybe you don't even end up with him and you'll think back to this day with your spouse and wonder why you ever worried. It'll be okay, Gaara."

Gaara sat in a comfortable silence with Itachi after Itachi's speech. It was satisfying to her and he was glad for it.

"I think you're going to be an important person in my life." Gaara admitted and Itachi smiled.

"I feel the same way. Now let's forget about the party downstairs and watch TV.

The next morning, Gaara woke up with a pretty bad headache. He sat up and realized he was still in Itachi's room, in Itachi's bed. His face colored and he looked around and Itachi was nowhere to be seen. He turned to his right and on the nightstand was two advil, a glass of water, and a note.

Gaara,

Take this when you wake up. It'll help with that hangover you're going to be nursing for a few hours.

Itachi

Gaara took it quickly and looked down at his clothes. They were rumpled up and a mess but he really didn't care. Gaara walked to the bathroom attached to Itachi's room and washed his face from all the makeup Ino put on him. He rinsed his mouth out with Listerine since he didn't have a toothbrush and he drank so much last night he probably peed for 5 minutes straight.

Gaara did the best he could to fix his hair with his fingers but it wasn't helpful. When he was done, he left the room. The first person he saw was Sasuke. Sasuke stared at him wide eyed and it took Gaara a minute to figure out why. Then he remembered he was leaving Itachi's room with rumpled clothes and bedhead. He would be concerned if it was his brother too. Gaara simply waved and walked down the stairs in search of Itachi.

"Good morning, Gaara." Itachi greeted from a barstool in the kitchen. He was drinking a cup of coffee while cleaners moved all around to get rid of the evidence of last night's party.

"Morning. Everyone gone?" Itachi nodded and Gaara breathed a sigh of relief. He sat down next to Itachi and Itachi handed him a cup of coffee. "I don't want to go home."

"Want to go out to eat with me?" Itachi offered and Gaara looked up at him confused and Itachi looked around the kitchen. "I'm hungry and there's way too many people here cleaning so I can't cook. Might as well go get something to eat."

"But... I look terrible." Itachi gave him a look over and shook his head.

"No. You look perfect. Let's go."

Itachi finally dropped Gaara off around 4pm and Gaara's heart was heavy in his chest. Itachi told him if he needed a place to stay, the estate had plenty of rooms. Gaara thanked him and got out of the car and walked into the house.

"Hello Gaara. We were worried last night. Thank you for texting us when you woke up though." Guy thanked and Gaara nodded. "What were you up to all day?"

"I was with Itachi." Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"Where were you last night?" Gaara shrugged.

"I was with Itachi." He took off his coat and Guy gave Kakashi a questioning look and Kakashi shook his head and Guy looked relieved.

"I hope you had fun. Lee is upstairs." Kakashi said easily and noticed how frigid Gaara's body became. He tensed up in a second. "Are you ok?" When Gaara looked at Kakashi, he knew Gaara found out. His heart went out to the boy. Gaara gave a half-assed nod and a wry smile. He quickly made his way up the stairs and hid in his room.

"He knows, doesn't he?" Guy asked and Kakashi sighed deeply.

"He knows."

All day long, Lee had been waiting for Gaara to get home. He just needed to talk to him. Just a little bit! He knew he got drunk last night and by the way Ino smacked him across the face when Sakura left, he knew that Gaara found out he slept with Sakura. And Ino could smack really hard. Lee's cheek was still red.

When Lee heard Gaara's voice downstairs, tears sprung in his eyes. If he could just talk to Gaara and explain to him what happened... Would Gaara understand?

Lee decided to try, it didn't hurt to try, right? When he heard Gaara's door shut, he took in several deep breaths and opened his bedroom door and walked across the hall to Gaara's door and knocked lightly on it. It was then that he noticed the strange noise from inside the room.

"Gaara?" Lee tapped on the door. "Gaara can I talk to you?" When Gaara didn't answer but the noises persisted, Lee opened the door.

Gaara was standing in the middle of the room with his earbuds in, yanking down the lights Lee put up at the beginning of the month. Gaara's room looked like a mess.

"Gaara?" Lee's heart beat faster as he reached his hand out and grabbed Gaara's shoulder. Gaara whipped around like a frightened animal. Lee saw the tears on his face, his eyes were red. He wasn't crying long enough for his face to become swollen, but it was getting there. Gaara pulled the earbuds out of his ears.

"What?" He hissed and Lee retracted his hand.

"I-I want to talk to you." Lee admitted quietly and Gaara laughed. His eyes were sharp, his smile was fake and his laugh was dry. It was scary sounding. "Please, Gaara."

"I don't want to talk to you. You can leave." Gaara said quietly and bunched up the wires that still had letters attached to them and shoved them into Lee's chest. "Get out."

"Please, if you'll just let me explain." Lee begged and Gaara scratched his cheek with a smile. A dangerous smile. Lee didn't think he'd ever seen Gaara smile this wide. He laughed again.

"No." He said simply with a grin. "Just no." He was still crying and occasionally Lee saw his lower lip quiver but he kept the smile firmly on his face. "I can't talk to you Lee. I'm angry at you."

"But Gaara-"

"Stop." Gaara's voice was very low and threatening. "Get the fuck out of this bedroom and get away from me. There's nothing you can say to me that I want to hear from you."

"B-but Gaara. Y-you don't know that." Lee couldn't keep his brave face on anymore. Tears were coming out quickly and he could barely see passed them. "L-let me try."

"No Lee. I'm done with this. I'm done with you. Whatever it is we had, I'm not doing anymore. I can't." Gaara put his hands up in defeat and turned around and started getting changed into clothes that didn't make him look like a prat anymore.

"Please! Gaara! Stop! You are not letting me talk and-"

"I don't WANT TO HEAR YOU TALK." Gaara never raised his voice that loud, it startled Lee and downstairs, Kakashi and Guy were considering dragging Lee out of Gaara's room.

"Gaara." Lee whispered as Gaara pulled on a pair of sweatpants. Gaara ripped off his shirt and Lee looked at the scars all over his back and his upper arms. Gaara was never careless enough to let Lee see the scars in this kind of light. They were terrifying. Some of them even... looked like... burns?

Lee's heart ached. Gaara was abused so badly and he just hurt his heart and he didn't want to! He wanted to hug Gaara and try to make everything alright again. Lee would spend years begging him if that's what it came down to.

"Gaara." Gaara pulled a hoodie over his shirt and turned around and picked up his phone. Lee saw him turn it on and froze when he saw the background was a picture of him. Gaara seemed to forget too and his movements faltered. "I love you." Gaara shook his head. "I do-"

"I loved you too, Lee. I loved you so much." Gaara's voice was quiet, defeated. "I loved you so much I let you kiss me, knowing fully well that you had a girlfriend but I loved you and all that mattered was you. I loved you so much I sat here waiting for you to be done hanging out with Sakura so I could be with you. I loved you so much I spend two days making you a birthday cake you didn't even touch. I loved you so much that I ignored all the signs that said this wasn't okay. I ignored them all month long. This is what I get for loving you. Where is my gratification? Where is the Lee that picks me over Sakura? I just have one thing to say to you Lee." Gaara looked Lee dead in the eyes. "I am NOT your plaything. I don't show it, but I have feelings just like you. I've been hurt my entire life and not done a damn thing about it because I thought I deserved it. I don't. And I will not let myself give everything I have to someone who doesn't appreciate me." Gaara picked Lee's pin off the tree and gently placed it in Lee's hand. "Here. Give this to Sakura for me. Congratulations. She won." With that, Gaara grabbed his bag and left the room.

"I'm sorry. I can't be here right now." Gaara apologized to Guy and Kakashi. Kakashi stood up and grabbed a set of keys. "What are you doing?"

"Let's take a drive, Gaara. Guy stay with Lee. Make sure he doesn't do anything too dumb." Guy nodded and gave Gaara a look. It wasn't a bad look. A look that said 'I approve what you're doing'.

Kakashi and Gaara got into the car and Kakashi just drove. He didn't drive anywhere in particular. He seemed to stay on the back roads mostly. He didn't force Gaara to talk, he didn't even ask any questions. He just drove and it was nice watching the sun set and seeing the stars in the sky.

About an hour into driving Kakashi turned to him.

"You hungry? I'm dying." Gaara nodded. "I'm still in my pajamas so how's fast food." Gaara didn't care.

After they bought their food, Kakashi parked the car in a lot overlooking the town park. It looked wonderful with the light layer of snow undisturbed. The car's engine still rumbled and the heat coming out from the vents was toasty. The radio wasn't on but that was okay. It was a comfortable silence they spent eating in.

Once they were done, Gaara gathered the courage to look at Kakashi.

"I'm sorry." Kakashi's eyebrows furrowed together.

"Why?" It was Gaara's turn to look confused.

"I spoke to Lee in a not nice manner; I apologize if by doing so I offended you. I shouldn't have spoken to your son like that, especially in your house." Kakashi swatted his hand and drank a bunch of his soda.

"No no, you're fine. He deserved it. Hell, if Guy did something like that when we were that age, I would've yelled too. Besides, you're my son too." The nonchalant way Kakashi put it made Gaara pause. He looked up at Kakashi in bewilderment and Kakashi smirked at him. "What?" Gaara's face turned sad.

"No one... ever said that... but... proudly before." Kakashi ruffled Gaara's hair.

"Well, I'm very proud." Gaara felt an emotion he wasn't used to feeling. It was a wholesome feeling and for once, it was like nothing bad ever happened to him.

Lee sat in his bed, staring at the clothespin with his name on it. His heart felt broken in more ways than he even knew it could be broken in. He wondered if Gaara would ever forgive him.

Thinking of his birthday made him sick to his stomach. He didn't like remembering that day. He didn't even like living through that day. It was awkward and not something he wanted to do at all. He wasn't even 100% sure why he did it at all.

Lee just wanted Gaara to come home and he wanted to make up with him and show Gaara that he was worth the forgiveness.

He rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the aching pain behind his eyes. He cried so much he gave himself a headache. And still he couldn't stop crying. He turned on his phone and looked at all the pictures he had with Gaara and looked at pictures he had with Sakura. It was crazy to see how much happier he looked standing next to Gaara than he did with Sakura.

The one worrying thought that plagued Lee's mind is what if Gaara found someone else? It was completely selfish of him to think that way considering he had Sakura, and Gaara was right. He would put her first in a lot of instances just because she was his girlfriend. In his heart though, he could feel that it only belonged to one person. The realization that he destroyed the person he loved most was the hardest thing Lee had to come to terms with.

Sakura's face flashed on his screen and he frowned at the phone and tossed it across the bed, not wanting to talk to her right now. It was his own fault for getting himself into this mess, but damn it, all he wanted was Gaara.

Guy told Lee that Gaara and Kakashi went for a ride and Lee hoped maybe Kakashi would be able to get Gaara to hear Lee out. It wasn't something Kakashi was known for, but just maybe.

Lee's phone vibrated and Lee picked it up, seeing that he had a text from Sakura.

'You okay?'

No. He wasn't. But Sakura didn't need to know that. There was no point in hurting two people he cared about.

He laid down on the bed and look into the darkness of his room. Every now and again he would forget the aches in his body and it was just like any other day. Then he had the crushing realization that Gaara wasn't his anymore... To be honest, Gaara never really was his, was he?

Lee closed his eyes and willed himself to go to sleep. It wasn't hard with his exhaustion, but what he didn't want was for his dreams to bring him back to his birthday.

Reliving that day in a dream was trippy. Everything was out of synch and kind of wavy. Lee could tell the colors were off and the sound was like listening to it underwater.

"Sakura, we have to be back at my house at 5. Gaara said he has something for me." Lee insisted and Sakura rolled her eyes and they got into the car. "Is everything okay?"

"Yup." She popped the p at the end and Lee began driving.

"No it is not. What is wrong?" Sakura scoffed at him.

"I'm trying to make your birthday really nice for you and the first thing you tell me is you need to rush home to Gaara? It's just annoying. I feel like I'm competing for your attention with him. All you talk about is Gaara. Is there something going on with you two or something?" Lee got defensive.

"What? Sakura. You are being ridiculous. I told Gaara I would be home before you even asked me to come over. I pushed back everything with Gaara FOR you. Why are you so mad at me?" Sakura shook her head and Lee sighed deeply. Getting through to Sakura when she was annoyed would never work. She didn't want to hear anything.

They pulled into her driveway and Sakura hopped out of the car before Lee even parked it completely. He groaned as he unbuckled his seatbelt and prepared himself for the worst. He shut the car door and walked up the steps to the front door. Sakura was already inside and a part of Lee wanted to just leave her here and go home. It was his birthday and she was making it all about herself.

Lee shook his head and reminded himself of all the terrible things he's done and told himself she was justified for being jealous of Gaara, not that he would tell her.

Sakura was in her bedroom working on homework by the time Lee took off his shoes, shut the door and walked through the house. He wasn't even sure why he was here. Sakura was just going to keep giving him jabs all afternoon and he didn't want to deal with that. Still, he sat down next to her on the bed and pulled out homework.

"What are you doing?" Asked Sakura and Lee looked at her confused.

"Home...work?" He said slowly and she rolled her eyes for the seemingly 100th time that day. "What? What is wrong? You are doing homework. What would you like me to do?" Sakura teared up and Lee tensed. "Sakura, do not cry. Why are you upset?"

"Do you not think I'm pretty or something?" Lee's eyes widened.

"Why would you think that?" He asked and she rubbed the tears away from her eyes.

"We're alone in my house and you pull out homework." She stated and Lee looked down at her lap to stare at her homework. "Well I'm the girl! I'm not supposed to make the first move." She insisted and he looked at her curiously.

"What first move?" He asked and she practically hissed and grabbed Lee's face and kissed him. When she pulled away, Lee's tiny voice muttered an "oh" and she smiled and he awkwardly sat up. For whatever reason, kissing her was making him feel guilty and nauseated. She kissed him again and he closed his eyes tightly. He kept his hands on her back, not at her neck where he usually held Gaara. He didn't want to feel her hair tickle his knuckles. He wanted to pretend he wasn't kissing Sakura.

Remembering the morning was an easy way to do that. He thought about pushing Gaara against the wall and Gaara kissing him back with so much force. Gaara's tongue in his mouth, Gaara's wet lips when they pulled away. Gaara's lust filled eyes. Gaara. Gaara. Gaara. Lee moaned into the kiss and he felt Sakura's lips curl up. She switched them so she was on top of Lee now and they didn't break the kiss. Lee kept his eyes closed as much as he could. Sakura seemed content that he seemed to react positively to their kissing. Clothes were pushed and tossed off out of the way. Lee felt his cock throb remembering Gaara's moan earlier. He felt Sakura's hand on the base of his cock but it wasn't Sakura's hand, it was Gaara's. He felt himself slip inside her and for a moment everything was nice. The feeling was unlike anything he felt before.

Lee's eyes opened and he saw Sakura's face and completely tensed up. No. No no no.

"Stop." Lee shook his head. "Sakura stop." His heart was racing and Sakura's face showed concern but she didn't move.

"Lee are you okay?" Was the room getting smaller?

"Sakura. Please. Get off of me." She was worried, his eyes were filled with tears. He was having a panic attack. She got off of him and he jumped off the bed and his legs were so unsteady he fell to the floor. He was shaking terribly and pulled his pants up.

"Lee. Lee what's wrong?" Sakura stood up and she looked frightened. What was wrong with him? "Lee, please talk to me." Lee shook his head.

"I-I'm sorry. I have to go." Lee was out of Sakura's house so quick she barely had time to register he was out of the room by the time he got into his car.

Lee drove off, hyperventilating until he pulled off to a spot to look over the mountains, the same spot he took Gaara. He watched the sky and for a while, he was okay.

Then he remembered what he did. Guilt crept up his spine like ice and he cried. Not only did he feel disgusting because he felt like he cheated on Gaara, he felt disgusting that he let himself get aroused when he was with Sakura because he was thinking about Gaara. None of this was okay. He was awful. He was terrible. Gaara would never forgive him, who knew if Sakura would even look at him again.

Lee looked at the clock. It was 6pm and he told Gaara he would be there at 515 the latest. Lee chalked that up to another failure on is part and turned on the car and rushed home.

Lee woke up in his bed, covered in sweat. He was breathing heavily and when he touched his cheeks he could feel that they were still wet. Would this get any easier? Lee heard people went numb instead of being this sad about things and wished he was one of them. The pain of losing Gaara was... shattering.

Lee heard the front door open and he heard Gaara's voice. He heard Gaara walk up the stairs and the closer he heard footsteps, the quicker Lee's heart beat. Gaara's footsteps faded away and he heard him go into his room. Lee let out a long breath he held for god knows how long and stared at his door in the darkness.

What Lee was really upset about, was in most of his life he never looked at himself as a bad person. He didn't feel like he was. The thought of being the villain in Gaara's story, that didn't bode well with him.

Lee hoped and prayed that Gaara would forgive him.

First, Lee had to forgive himself.