CHAPTER 9
Another day, another memory. Ugh. I hate waking to an image of a dead body. It's not a pretty picture. And I especially hate waking up tied to a damn chair. You see, the Joker has gone utterly insane. And has decided that I need more "excitement" in my life. Or I'll go dull. So now, I awake to an insanely cold cement room. I don't remember ever coming here. And I'm not sure why I wasn't afraid right now. Probably because I was too depressed. I cry for every life I see being taken away. Sometimes I still do. Even for that Slim guy. But when I thought of Eliza, I completely lost all emotions. And wasn't completely shocked that my tears would dry. Anyways, this not being the point. I'm tied to a chair. And it's pretty much dark. I squirmed, trying to find a hence of living in this room. I wasn't alone. I could make out a figure along the right side of the wall. Where it was darkest. I felt a twinge in my neck and I remembered. The Joker drugged me. I passed out. He tied me up. I was too easy to mess with.
A quiet chuckle came from the figure. "Are you awake this time?" the Joker asked. This time? What? I coughed. My throat was suddenly very dry. He walked from the wall and came into visible light. I now realized the light was coming from the hanging lamp above my head. He had a knife in his hand. Twisting the blade in his fingers he said, " You've been looking awfully bored lately. That's not the Emma I know!" He chuckled and continued to walk around me. Out of sight, he spoke into my ear from behind me, "I'm here to cheer you up." Anger flicked through me and I tried to say, "Then let me leave." But the words were blocked by something over my mouth. Tape maybe? He then continued to walk around me, until he was standing in front of me. He pulled a chair out from no where and placed it in front of me and sat down. His hand wrapped around my jaw and he placed the knife on my cheek. "Why so serious?" he asked, laughter following his words. "Let me see you smile Emma." The blade was on the corner of my mouth. Okay, so I was afraid now. Who wouldn't be?
I could feel tears welling up behind my eyes. The blade slid from my face down to the center of my neck. A smile raising on the Joker's lips as he watched my horrific expression. I never imagined I would die, believe it or not. But I was sure I would bore the Joker eventually. But the blade left my skin. And the Joker grasped the side of the tape, and in one motion, ripped it from my lips. Painful enough for me to yelp. The Joker laughed. He stood up and placed his hands on my shoulders. Leaning in really close. Our noses touched. "Emma, you are so fun to play with!" He threw his head back in laughter, while shoving me, causing the chair to go falling backwards. I landed on the cement. Ouch. Another headache. I was sure I lost some math skills with that one. The Joker laughed and I heard his footsteps, and then I heard an odd jingling noise. "I got you a little gift Emma!" He sang in laughter. His footsteps got closer and then his boot landed between my legs, causing the chair to fly up in it's upright position. My hair whip lashed my face. I heard him laugh again. He took his place in front of me, pulling my chair closer so our legs intertwined with each others. His hands flick around my neck.
It was a necklace. Well I shouldn't call it a necklace. It was coarse, like rope almost. But not exactly. And it had a metal loop attached to it, which a metal circle hung from. I touched the thing around my neck and then gasped in horror. "You got me a dog collar!" I screamed at him. He started laughing. "Yes, my pet." And then his face got sincere, "Don't you like it?" I gazed angrily at him. I was no pet! Or a toy! I belonged to no one. His hand tugged at the collar. "Nice fit!" he screeched again in laughter. I bit my lip. "You're a monster!" I yelled. He stopped laughing and at stared at me. "We're two clowns short of a circus aren't we?" And he continued to laugh. It seemed like it was impossible to make him angry. "I even bought you a leash! When you don't behave!" He couldn't stop laughing. And I started crying. In embarrassment. Humiliation. Weakness. Even fear maybe?
And then his laughing stopped. "It was a joke, Emma! Laugh!" he yelled at me. Then stood up and walked across the room. I no longer cared what he did. I just sat there and cried. I was so helpless wasn't I? I didn't want to admit it, but I couldn't deny it either. He had some unbreakable hold on me. One I couldn't quite grasp. I was sure it was my fear he held on to. Making me do what he wanted. But there was something else. Even I knew I was different to him. He was hunched over another scrappy looking metal table. Looking at something. His hands were gripping the table. And then he slid one hand into his purple coat pocket. He gazed around the room. And caught sight of the shelves I didn't no were there. He walked over there. I squirmed in my chair. What an odd time to have to go to the bathroom. He grabbed something red. And brought it close to his face. A rose. What was it with the roses? I mean really? A fresh rose was in every room. Everyday. Not one time did I catch one weeping. He twirled the rose in his hand and then looked over at me.
"You're tears disgust me," he said. How strange, I thought he enjoyed them. Or maybe it's just the fear he enjoys. He set the rose down and walked over. Taking his seat yet again in front of me. Why did I have on blue shorts? Nothing I wore was colorful. I did not think how these shorts got on me. The Joker lifted my face with his hand. And he studied my eyes. I couldn't keep a straight stare. It felt too strange. I glanced back between his eyes, his coal black eyes as they seemed, and the rose resting on the bottom shelf. The tears had stopped, but the fear was still there. And then he threw my face to the side, sending me off balance and on to the floor. "Damn it!" he shouted. I heard a crashing sound. He knocked over a small table I hadn't seen there before. Was I missing something here?
I heard the door open and then shut. The noise echoing through the little room. It was quiet. The ringing in my ears was intense after only a few seconds. I laid on my side, face to face with the floor. I could see light coming through at the bottom of the door. Every once in a while, the sound of faint footsteps and shadows pacing the door. The floor was eerie and cold. And it was giving me a more intensified headache. I wiggled my fingers. My wrist were tied down to the arms of the chair. Legs tied to the legs of the chair. I tried to untie the knots with my fingers and failed miserably. It was too quiet. I could hear my own heartbeat. And for some odd reason, I got really frightened. I hated being alone. I always have. But in complete silence and almost sheer darkness. I was too aware of the cold draft against my bare legs. Why was I wearing blue shorts?
Stupid chair. This is not a way to bring excitement in my life. I laid there, motionless. In pure silence, watching the flickers of light and shadow beneath the door. And I counted my blessings. I really was lucky to be alive. Those people at the party? Dead. Amanda and Sean? Dead. The one's at the bank? Dead. Eliza? Dead. The mafia? Dead. It was eerie to think of them. They haunted me now. I knew I shouldn't be alive. If it weren't for me, they'd be alive. I could almost hear Amanda now. Those last screams. A heat of anger spread through me. I clenched my hands into fist. And rubbed my wrist and legs against the rope, trying to break through. But it was no use. And in seconds, I was tired. My anger faded with my energy. And the tears came. I let myself drown in them. They seemed like an endless chain. And then… a loud creaking noise. I really had to use the bathroom.
A bright stream of light.
A purple suit.
A knife.
I was upright again. The Joker eased the knife between me and the rope, cutting me free at last. This place was a nightmare. I wanted out. And as soon as he cut the ropes from my legs, I scurried out of the room. Into another unpleasant one. The garage. The light was very bright. It hurt my eyes. I squeezed them shut and the Joker grabbed my hand, leading me upstairs I assumed. It was weird. I kept my eyes shut. And hardly stumbled once. I knew my way up and down these steps already. Just like home. Except this was more like prison. Up to the second floor now. Stepstepstepstepstep turn right. Stepstepstepstepstep, turn right. Then left through the door. I finally opened my eyes. Damn, I was right. We walked slowly back to my room. And entered. The Joker walked over to the desk. The one with the pictures and articles and- I stood there at first. He was mumbling to himself. Hunched over pictures and papers. Saying things I didn't comprehend. I think he's better off left alone.
I snuck off to the bathroom. A shower would ease the chill from my bones. I would relax a little more. Maybe even forgive myself some too. And hopefully, the Joker would be gone.
~~
Showers always seem to lift the weight from my shoulders. Even for only a few minutes. And just my luck, the Joker was gone. The white room was empty. All but me and the red rose. Sometimes I found it quite mad that I enjoyed myself here. Not quite enjoyed, but I relaxed. And my troubled mind was at ease. I sat up on the bed. A pillow behind my back. My wet hair fell hopelessly around my face. I touched the soft yet uneven ends. My hair was much shorter. At least five inches shorter now. And then a realization came to mind. The Joker had me tied to that chair. He had his knife. He was going to deliberately hurt me. That's why I was there. And yet I only left with a major headache. And the ache of having to pee. And why did he get upset when he looked at me? I wasn't sure.
I sat there, playing with my hair as I tried to come up with reasons. Reasons that didn't seem to make sense, about all of this. One reason could be; I have truly lost the will to be afraid and the Joker realized this. He did enjoy it when I was frightened to death. Another? Maybe he realized something himself. And it really pissed him off. You know what? Why should I care? He's a freak anyways. He makes no sense. He is nothing to this world. He shouldn't be alive. And then I wondered. Would I cry if the Joker died? Like I did for all the people who died? Even Slim. I was sure I wouldn't. I might laugh though. But a feeling rose inside me and I denied the thought that I could be wrong.
So I sat in silence for a while. Just staring across the room at the door. Thinking. I remembered how Ally was so successful in life. And I got so jealous. And so I went to college. And I didn't want to marry my fiancé anymore, so I went to college in Paris. I was running away from everything. What was it that I wanted exactly? I knew I always wanted to grow up, have a job I was passionate for, someone I was madly in love with, and have a family. Yet every time I got close to something I wanted. I ran away. I was a freak too.
Wow. I suddenly felt the urge to cry. And didn't realize I was at first. I ruined my life. I fell in love with a wonderful man, who did all he could to please me and keep me happy and I ran from him. What more could I ask for? I blew it. I sobbed for a while longer. Then, the tears dried up. Because I heard a noise. Really loud footsteps pounding down the hallway. I didn't no who to expect. Well I expected the Joker, but it wasn't him. All of a sudden the door flung open. And in came this short mad woman. Alexa. She stomped over to my bed side. "You oh me big time!" she screamed in my face. I winced. "What the hell are you talking about Alexa?" I screamed back, although my voice was no where near as intimidating. She huffed in front of me. Her small hands clenched in fists. "I just saved your little ass!" she screamed. And then the anger flushed away, and tears came from her eyes. "What do you mean?" She looked up at me. "I'm as good as dead now." She was crying and now took a seat next to me. I suddenly felt sympathy for Alexa. Although I knew she didn't like me, I knew she didn't hate me either. I sat up closer to her.
"Alexa, you're not making any sense," I said. She sniffed and looked over at me. Her eyes still wet. Tears streaked her face and her make up was smeared. "This was my room," she said. Staring down at the floor. Thinking of something other than the soft white carpet. She grabbed the blanket. "This was my room. I was here. Not you. But once you came along….I was dropped like a rock!" she said. Tears kept falling from her eyes. I stared at her in confusion. Her eyes remained on the floor. "I thought it was love," she said. I felt my stomach drop. Her in love with….. with him? Yikes. "But now you…" she shook her head. And wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand. She then took a deep breath, "You wanna go home right?" She asked, finally meeting my gaze. That was hard to answer, but I nodded my head anyways. "Then this may work out for both of us." She got up and walked to the door. "What will?" I asked. She sighed, "I ratted us out. Police should be here any minute."
The sirens shocked me. She did call. And the Joker was in my room, staring at me. His eyes filled with anger. A knife in his hand. He had me pinned against the door. "Emma, did you do this?" He asked casually, staring at the knife. "No," I whispered, He laughed a little and then looked at me, "Don't lie Emma!" He screamed at me. I shook my head. Tears were falling yet again. "I didn't…" The Joker sighed and looked at me. I heard a clank. He dropped the knife. He now rested one hand on the door, next to my face. He looked down, "Better cry now. Someone's going to die." He looked at me. He wasn't going to kill me was he? Maybe. He stayed staring at me. Once again I couldn't manage looking him in the eyes, I glanced at the rose in the vase. He sighed in frustration. There it goes again. That odd feeling. Him angry for no reason at all. He clanked foreheads with me. Shoving my head against the door. "Time for a small vacation Emma." He said. I could now hear the police downstairs, raiding the apartment. He chuckled. "Don't worry, we'll be together soon enough!" He laughed harshly and then shoved me away from the door. I landed hard and watched him leave the room. Laughter was muffled through the door and I heard him shout, "Now lets have some fun!" I still had my necklace on.