Chapter 6!

Title: Feelings and Memories

Discliamer: I own nothing!

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"Ok." I called out after already being without a shirt and the fishnet undershirt, (that served as a body-warmth ventilator during cold nights), for a few seconds. And even though I still had my bra on, I was a little cold now, actually. I crossed my arms over my chest for more than just warmth.

My arms pressed against my sore chest, the bruises hurt.

I probably looked so awkward.

He turned around slowly, only looking at me for a margin of a second, and then focusing intently on the purplish-black spot on my side.

I felt his hot hands land on my side. I shuddered randomly.

Was he running a fever?

At that I noticed that he didn't have his regular gloves on… or his vest, or his loose navy blue shirt, he was only wearing his sleeveless, muscle tank-top that served as the long turtleneck mask.

Why didn't I notice before?

I guess my own nakedness made me pay attention to his…

Speaking of nakedness, seeing his arms like that, and his well-trained muscles, reminded me of that night at the hot springs.

I wonder if he felt as embarrassed as I am right now.

I tried not to smile at the thought of an embarrassed Kakashi… no, he was perfectly normal afterwards… too normal…like it didn't matter… at all.

Well, if it didn't matter to him that I saw him… then seeing this much of me shouldn't matter to him in the slightest, right?

I had no idea if I was trying to comfort myself or not… because the idea of him not caring about the sight of me at all was actually a little insulting.

I looked at Kakashi, I couldn't see his face, but he seemed really intent on staring only at his hands, which were so motionless, so stone-stiff against my skin, like he was afraid the slightest twitch would crack the rib further.

The green glow hummed. I felt my insides shifting a little every now and then, causing twinges of pain.

I wondered what he was thinking about…or what he thought about this situation.

I wasn't a child anymore.

But I wasn't a woman yet, was I?

Was he comparing me to real women and thinking I wasn't anything worth looking at?

But why should that matter to me?!

I shouldn't care if Kakashi found me attractive or not.

A mental switch was flicked by that thought…. I did care if he thought I was attractive. Which meant I wanted him to think I was attractive… which must've meant I wanted him to be attracted to me.

That meant I must lik-….

No I couldn't accept that thought so soon.

It was too much.

Wasn't it normal for a girl to wonder if the only man to have ever seen her half-naked thought she was attractive?

Right?

. . .

ARGH!

Everything was so confusing!

I couldn't stand the silence.

I worked up the courage to say something after a while.

"Kakashi-sensei…" I said softly, losing my conviction to talk to him with every syllable.

A long moment passed.

His determination was so intense that I wondered whether he could talk and concentrate at the same time.

"You don't have to say 'sensei', remember?" His voice sounded normal... but still a little tense.

I let a weak chuckle out.

He seemed normal.

Was that good or bad?

"I forgot again…" I decided not to be angry over him pretending to be asleep anymore… there was something strangely liberating about having him hear those thoughts… and also completely embarrassing.

We sat in silence for a second. He seemed less tense.

"What you said… about always getting in the way…" His voice was suddenly softer. I didn't appreciate the sudden subject change… I was really embarrassed when he quoted my mortifying monologue.

"I remember when you were younger, back when Team 7 was first formed… you were really clumsy, and rather slow to react in battle, and inexperienced…:" He said all the things I was so afraid were still true. I could feel my frustration rise. "But last night, you really proved yourself."

I stared at him incredulously.

"Is that a joke?" I asked half-serious. Getting injured was 'proving' myself?

"I wouldn't play with you after already eavesdropping like that." He said playfully.

"Then, you mean…" I continued, unsure of his real thoughts.

He looked away from his hands, his eyes met mine.

Even his left eye was staring into mine…. I worried if his Sharingan could read emotions, too.

I didn't want him to know just how much I was hanging onto his words.

"You're stronger, faster, smarter… you've come a long way, and have become an exceedingly talented medical ninja and an exceptional kunoichi." His voice was everything I needed in that moment, his voice, his words, his eyes, his smile.

I had no idea that he could make me feel this grateful, this proud, by just saying those words.

Everything about him in that moment inspired such profound feelings in me.

His smiling face turned away from mine, looking back to my side. I was disappointed and glad at the same time… I had wanted to live in that moment just a little while longer, but it was so difficult staring into his honest eyes.

"You really are a sly talker." I commented jokingly.

"I have to be." He replied with a gentle, playful, tone. I loved it.

His hands eased against my side, lacking the tension I felt in them earlier, his fingers spread out a little… like he wasn't afraid to touch me anymore.

The pain disappeared for a second as the areas his hands touched tingled.

The silence continued.

I struggled to find an excuse to get his attention again.

I could smell the scent of a freshly-showered forest.

That was the way he always smelled. I remember that now.

I really wanted to know what it felt like to run my fingers through his hair.

That's really strange, right?

Normal girls don't want to know what it feels like to brush their hands through their teachers' hair… they don't want to know what it feels like to be embraced by his arms… or wonder if his lips are soft…

I must be tired or something…

I found that my hand moved on its own.

I saw my arm lift up and reach out towards him.

Then, suddenly, it was night.

I was silently walking around Naruto's and Sai's futons, I was looking directly at Kakashi lying on his own futon, walking over to him.

He was asleep, really asleep, not faking it.

Then, in only a second, I was laying next to him, under his covers.

I was facing his back; the narrow space between us was so warm.

I could hear his steady breathing, see his shoulder rise and fall with the easy pace.

As I lay next to him, I pressed closer, but still didn't touch him.

The rising warmth of his body heat was so pleasant.

My arm slinked out from under the covers and curled around his waist. My hand landed on his firm chest.

His chest moved my arm in synch with the pace of his breathing… I felt so close to him.

I was completely lost by all of this… but I could feel a sense of dangerous excitement build quickly.

I could feel his warmth under my arm, his muscles shifted under me. He must've noticed me.

My arm tightened its weak embrace around him. I didn't have any control over it, but I didn't regret this action as it happened.

I leaned my face towards him, breathing deeply.

Rivers and forests. Water and trees. Raindrops and leaves.

That scent.

My lips grazed the back of his neck.

"Kakashi-sensei…" My voice whispered.

I was taken aback by my tone… I've never said his name like that. The way it sounded made my stomach turn nervously.

He jumped out of the futon in only moments, taking his comforting warmth with him, his eyes staring at me with shock and confusion.

"What are you doing?" He asked me with such surprise.

I couldn't answer with my own words.

"I just thought you looked lonely." My voice was dripping with implication.

I crawled out of his bed covers.

My body leaned forward, reducing the space between me and Kakashi-sensei by a few feet.

"Ne, sensei…. Don't tell me you've never thought about it." I hated my voice. This wasn't me. My body leaned in closer, as if I was waiting for his answer.

He looked away from me. Like he was ashamed of something.

I wanted to ask him what was wrong, I wanted to stop him from wearing that painful expression, but I couldn't.

I reached out and gently grabbed his chin, turning it back to face me.

His hand found mine, harshly.

He didn't let go.

His fingers were crushing mine, but a part of me didn't care.

He was staring directly into my eyes, but I had no idea what my expression was.

"Sakura…" his voice was so weak, I never heard my name like that. I've never heard his voice like that. "This isn't…" his voice fell with a note of desperation.

"It's exactly what you want it to be." I said without wanting to.

I leaned in even further, my knee fell to the ground between his legs.

My heart jumped. This was getting to be too much.

He didn't move.

His shoulders relaxed, and his eyes… they held a look that was so foreign.

He had the eyes of a man dying of thirst, but under the spell of a waterfall-mirage.

My face leaned closer, he didn't move, my hand landed on his chest, still he didn't move.

I could feel his heartbeat… it was faster than mine.

My other hand reached up to his face, gently finding the top of his mask, tugging it down.

He only kept staring at me with those eyes.

My spirit was jumbled with different feelings, I felt like my body wouldn't be able to contain all of these conflicting sensations and emotions. I was scared of what I was doing, I was confused of what was going on, I was nervous of where it was leading, I was curious of Kakashi's thoughts, I was excited, I was anxious… I was impatient.

Everything was too much, but not enough.

But I couldn't handle the expression in his eyes… longing.

Then before I could collect all my fraying and scattered emotions and thoughts I felt the cold metal of a kunai in my hand, and the familiar tension of guarding another kunai.

Kakashi had started the attack, had I been in control of my body I would have never risen a kunai to him.

But my body was moving on its own.

I was on my feet, grabbing Kakashi's wrist as he turned to look around the corner of the partition.

He grabbed my hand really hard, I could feel the pain.

"Who are you?!"… "What's your business with us?!" He shouted questions at me as my body fought against his hands grabbing my wrists.

We fell to the floor, I was pinned down.

My body was still thrashing like a wild animal, but I tried to focus on his face.

He was angry.

Really angry.

It was always scary when Kakashi actually got angry, but to see him look at me this way was scarier.

"Kakashi-sensei." I heard Sai's voice. I couldn't catch what else was happening until I heard Naruto's voice.

"Kakashi-sensei?!"

"Naruto!" Kakashi shouted.

My body pleaded out to Naruto, "Naruto! Help me! Kakashi-sensei, he-", I was accusing Kakashi of attacking me.

Anger took me over, too.

"I guess my cover's blown."My voice said cutely after Naruto had tried to punch Kakashi.

"This was only some reconnaissance… and playing… we'll do something more fun next time." My voice was so horrible."See you soon."

Kakashi still wore an expression of anger.

Then it was dusk again.

I was sitting against the wall, Kakashi-sensei hovering over me.

"Sakura! Sakura!" His voice was kind of loud for my ears. His hands were on my bare shoulders, gripping tightly.

"Kakashi-sensei…" I answered weakly.. I raised my hand to my face, rubbing my eyes a little. "What's going on?" I asked him, finally looking up at him.

His eyes were wide, his brows forming an upward peak. He was scared.

Did something bad happen?

"You were unresponsive for at least 2 minutes." He explained, sighing a little. His hands still gripped my shoulders just as hard.

"What?"

"You weren't moving, or responding to anything… you were only sitting there, staring ahead of you."

His hands fell from my shoulders, sliding across my skin, resting on my arms now.

"I-I saw what happened last night." I said vaguely. "But I wasn't me… it was another me."

I was still trying to get over the jetlag of resurfacing from those memories, but I got the impression that things got really serious when I said that. His eyes lost the fear, but was replaced by something I couldn't recognize.

Everything went silent.

His head bowed.

"You felt what that imposter felt last night?" He hands suddenly left me.

I really wanted to see his face, but he turned away from me.

"Kakash-" I tried to call his attention, but he stopped me.

"Your ribs should be fine by now, you could probably hold your own in battle." He said coldly. Why wasn't looking at me?

"What's wrong?" I asked him, trying to figure out what had changed all of a sudden. Did I do something?!

"I am."

What?

He immediately stood up. He started walking towards the door.

"Kakashi-sensei… What I saw… I didn't…" I couldn't find the right words…. I wanted him to know that I… didn't mind the first part of those memories.

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She saw… She felt... How I was unable to stop until it was almost too late.

I really can't be around her anymore.

And we had just gotten closer, too…

She probably doesn't know what last night really meant… it's better that way.

He had to get out of that room.

He didn't want to, but he needed to.

Even though he had just finally begun some sort of close relationship with Sakura, he couldn't let it become anything but that.

His hand found the door, pulling it to the side.

"Kakashi-sensei?" he heard her again… but didn't turn around. "What I saw… I didn't"

The door opened faster than he was pulling it.

Someone was opening it on the other side.

His mind twitched.

Someone was going to walk into the room and see them, alone, her half-dressed.

"Kakashi" a voice sounded.

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Somebody was in front of Kakashi, I leaned forward to get a better look.

"Sakura?" Sai's voice found my ears just as his eyes met mine…. And before they travelled downward.

I hurriedly scrambled to cover myself with my rumpled shirt.

Sai looked over at Kakashi, who staring at the door.

"Contact-healing."

"Really?" Sai said a little jokingly.

My stomach flipped.

I saw Kakashi's head turn to face Sai. "Really." He said roughly.

Kakashi-sensei was really moody right now.

"Excuse me." Sia said politely, assuming his normal poker face. "Naruto and I have found the assassin's hideout. We thought you'd want to know right away." I stared back and forth between my teammates, trying to catch a glance of Kakashi's eyes.

"And Naruto?"

"He's waiting at the entrance." Sai explained.

There was silence for a few seconds.

"I'm going to back there with you Sai. Maybe we can learn more about this assassin's powers by the condition of their hideout." He turned back to the room, hurriedly gathering his shirt and vest.

I was not gonna let them leave me out of this.

"I'm going too." I spoke up, following Kakashi with my eyes.

"You were just injured. You need to rest." He was facing the other way, slipping his shirt on. It seemed a little weird to watch Kakashi-sensei getting dressed…

"But you just said that I could hold up my own in battle, didn't you?" Thank god I paid attention!

An agitated sigh left him.

I felt a little guilty for pestering him.

"If you slow us down, I'll send you back."

That was a little harsh… but understandable.

"I won't slow you down." I said seriously, trying to persuade him.

He zipped his vest.

"It will probably get violent." He finally turned to me. "Can you handle that?"

"Yes." I tried looking right into his eyes… but he was so… intense.

I lifted myself from the ground, testing my wounds.

"Sakura…" I whipped my head over to him, he was waiting by the door. "You need to get dressed first." His gloved hand pointed to my short on the floor.

I quickly snatched my shirts and shuffled into them, so grateful that my ribs weren't really sore.

He was staring at me get dressed.

It was still embarrassing.

Sai was also looking.

I didn't mind very much, he was like a distant brother… but he's probably read somewhere not to look at people half-naked. It seemed off-character for him.

After I slipped on my gloves I met them at the doorway, and we set off.

…………..

I was keeping up really well, but I couldn't tell if they were going slower than usual.

After only a few moments of running, I noticed something.

Kakashi was drawing farther and farther back, away from Sai's lead.

Did he sense somebody behind us?

Then Kakashi was right beside me.

"Something the matter?" I asked in a quiet voice.

He didn't say anything. He only matched my exact pace and kept running.

"Don't make a sound."

His voice was so soft I could barely hear it.

I didn't have enough time to figure out what was going on before I felt his hand grab my arm tightly, pulling me into the forest.

I tried to keep up with him, but even though he was still holding my arm, I kept tripping over myself while fighting to catch up with his speed.

What was he doing?

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