Part 12 : Memories.
They were right.
It hurt him to admit him, but the others, Snow and all the ghosts (except Zelena who didn't care about that, and hadn't been there when they talked about it).
His feelings for Neal Cassidy finally evolved with time, and he needed many days to understand it. It had been difficult for him to go from the vision of Baelfire, Milah's son and adolescent, to the one of Neal Cassidy, an adult who was his friend, and who could be more than that.
Who could have been, if things had been different.
He was seeing it, as he was looking at the two other couples of ghost who were with him, and he saw that what they could do, he could do it to. That is to say, being material again, and take objects.
But only when he was with Neal.
The thing he wanted to know now, is that if Neal understood it or not.
During this day, this one was also asking questions to himself, and he decided to talk to the only people in this town who could understand him : Ruby and Dorothy. He asked them if he could see them, as he wanted to talk about what happened the day before.
(Or about what didn't happen.)
"So, tell me Neal, said Ruby, arriving at the Granny's with Dorothy. What's wrong ?
Oh, nothing, I kind of flirted with a ghost yesterday.
Itwasn't that, not really, but it was close to what happened.
- I have a problem, he immediately announced.
- We kind of understood it, said Dorothy.
- Or you wouldn't have called us, continued Ruby.
- That's why friends are there, concluded the other woman.
- Thank you."
Neal took a deep breath, and told them more or less the last evening, not talking about the… fantastic or "ghostly" details, just talking about normal things.
"And with Henry, are things okay ? Asked Dorothy before answering to his questions. Neal gave a her a shining smile.
- Yes. My dad, Belle and Gideon perfectly accepted him, and I think that the mayor won't be a problem for us, as Henry doesn't talk any more about magic or curses.
- And about what happened to you yesterday, well, hum… nothing really happened, said Ruby, with a clear disappointment in the voice.
- Exactly. What did you want to happen ?
- I don't know… something more… interesting, more pithy."
As Dorothy was laughing, Neal rolled his eyes.
"In fact, you want to know if you're interested by him or not."
The conversation continued on that during a time, and Neal had no answer to his questions, but at least, it helped him to talk about it. The conversation then was about Emma ; and it allowed Neal to ask an important question.
"Do you where she lived before coming there ?
- I have some names in mind, yes. In Arizona, in Boston, also in New York for a time, and in Tallahassee, I think."
Neal immediately froze, and, as he had his answer, he told them he had things to do, and he left, before feeling bad.
He ran as fast as he could, far from the restaurant.
It was true.
All of it, it was true.
Memories were now in his head, taking their right place.
Finally, he felt being himself.
Tallahassee. Dreamcatcher. Necklace with a swan.
He remembered.
He remembered Emma, and his life with her, and how he betrayed her. He remembered everything, until he fell in the portal in the direction of the Enchanted Forest.
He loved Emma Swan. Today, he didn't really know where he was, but he was at least sure of that. He loved her, and Henry really was his son.
When he was sure of being alone, he shouted :
"Emma ! EMMA !"
She appeared then, surprised, and he smiled.
"I remember ! I remember."
And, with tears in her eyes, she had a sad smile.
"You remember me ?
- Yes."
And then, she finally was able to find him again, as in the past.
§§§§
They talked together about their common past, before talking about the main question : the curse.
"What are we doing now ?
- Talk with your father.
- I did ! He doesn't know more about it than I do.
- Try again, she suggested."
He nodded his head, ready to leave, when she asked him :
"Do you love Hook ?
- What about you, he replied, do you love Regina ?
She smiled.
- Yes. What is your answer ?
- I don't know..."
As he was with his father, things were more complicated, without him knowing why. Memories were still trying to take their place again, and, according to Emma, some of them were still missing, as the worst of them, obviously.
Neal rapidly explained what he remembered, expecting his father to tell him the other things. He didn't understand what was happening as he saw his hands trembling.
"You don't understand Neal. You have no idea of what really happened.
- What else ?
- Bad things. Really bad things.
- I know for Neverland.
- You don't know what happened then. I died. I died in order to save you from Pan.
- You died as a hero ?
- Does it surprise you ?
- Yes. A little. How did you come back ?
- That's the problem. You died, to save me. And, then, my mom brought you back.
- I… I died ?
- Yes.
- But..."
And then maybe that the potion his father used on it finally worked, and that all of it helped him remember again.
He remembered that he died.
He remembered everything now.
And Emma was dead…
It's just there that all the horror of the situation appeared to him.
Emma appeared immediately next to him, and Gold started. She was smiling, this terribly sad smile. Neal looked at her with horror ; since he remembered, his spirit was every-time in a perpetual fog. It's just there that he realized finally that Emma, the woman he loved, was dead.
And that she wouldn't come back.
"I am sorry Emma… for what happened to you.
- I told you it would be harsh. I am sorry for what happened to you too.
- So, I died… and then… you were with Hook.
- I get married with him.
- WHAT ?
Emma smiled by seeing that the apparent jealousy on Neal's face was against her.
- I will let you alone, said Gold.
- And then, I died, and our story died too, after two years.
- Only two years ?
- I guess we were both wrong..."
Neal just nodded.
§§§§
"How did it happen ? You and Regina ?
A magnificent smile appeared on Emma' lips, and Neal didn't doubt any more. She was happy, as much as a dead people or a ghost could be.
- You love her, he said.
A new light appeared in Emma' eyes.
- You don't know how much.
- When ?
- After we died, me and Killian, we became more and more far from the other, instead of being closer. And it became more and more worst : I thought that, at least, she wouldn't be able to steal it from us. But it wasn't the case. It had been the contrary.
- And Regina had been for you.
- Yes. She talked with me, a lot, and we became closer, in another way.
- I don't want to know the details…
- It took us a time to understand it… as for you, I think.
- What do you mean ?
- You know what I mean.
- No.
- Liar !
Neal rolled his eyes, and Emma smiled to him.
- You have to ask yourself a question, she said.
- Which one ?
- What do I want to have with him ? This is how I understood what I really wanted."
And she let him alone, lost in his thoughts, and in his desires.
Yes, he really didn't know where he was.
His following discussion with Snow didn't really help. Especially after that he talked to her about what he felt these last days. And then, he saw her crooked grin, meaning "I-told-you-I-was-right".
"Don't tell me that I was wrong, right ? I had this with Emma. The other one's smile became wilder.
- You know, I said nothing. And you could have worst with Regina. She would probably tell you that your heart problems don't matter, and that we have a town to save."
Neal had to admit that he didn't really think about this curse, not as his father was looking for a way to end it. They knew how, but had no way to do it. They would have to kill the Black Fairy, but her wand disappeared, so she still was immortal.
Their problem was endless.
"Maybe, but her, she is probably getting laid with Emma right now, in this moment.
- I really don't want to know what my daughter may do with her now… Sincerely, I don't want to."
They both burst into laughter, and Snow gave him an advice, to go to see Hook, and to talk to him. According to her, it would have been easier if it had been the case since the beginning.
Neal pretty agreed with her… if only it had been that simple.